Be realistic! A drug addict? and you love him mad? Count yourself lucky that your not with him and bore him kids. Just imagine after life married to this person! God!
Move On! Love your hubby, appreciate him! And make sure your hubby dont see this thread!
I registered just to answer to your post, Nora. I'm going against the grain of the general tone of the replies here, to give you a tight virtual slap. Imagine your hubby coming across this thread, with your pictures of your actual children in your avatar. Imagine the hurt you will cause him. You are certainly free to fantasize about 'the one that got away' but can't you at least have the good sense to post annoymously?! You certainly sound your age.
Nora, i feel that your love for him n him being a drug addict has no link at all.
n the reason (imo) which you cant let go is bcos, you never had him. yah you had a "r/s" with him on the phone, but it is not something very real that you can feel him with you. (if you know what i mean)
so what if he is a drug addict? you cant love him?? i mean come on, im sure you didnt love your hubby just bcos he isnt a drug addict right? (there r billions out there who arent drug addicts right? )
F was someone you loved n cared for in your life, perhaps the first one, thus the feelings r so strong, even if he wasnt a drug addict, things might not have worked out either.
there is no right or wrong in loving someone, who he is or what he is doesnt matter. i believed he truly cared n loved you too thus you have such strong emotions towards him.
stop thinking of the bad points (which he is a drug addict) n reminisce the good ones. cos now all you think is, he was a drug addict tts why we cant be together, tts why there r regrets n i wanna hold him one last time etc.
keep the fond memories and learn to let go. take heart you had good memories from him n not dwell in the bad ones. you cant let go cos you keep thinking of the what ifs, the regrets.
dont compare him n your hubby, each one love you differently. dont compare who loves you more, cos love cannot be compared nor measured.
be contented that in this life, you have 2 men who loved you deeply, n dearly.
you "lost" one already, dont lose another.
Perhaps you could set up a separate thread to share your predicament and see what others can offer in terms of advice.:tlaugh: thank you thank you diymummy.
All this time also I have not thought of giving up but the recent months I have. I am tired of having to cook up excuses to my parents whenever him and I are out. I used to tell them the truth but it became so big issues that my parents say they will fly over and do this or that until I am so sick of it that I eventually tell lies to them whenever I go out with him. Plus since then, they always interrogate me like anything whenever I am out, such as with who? are you sure not with him? SIGH! dont't think it's communication problem because my parents speak fluent English so can definitely communicate with my bf. More to do with face value I think, they cannot take it that their son-in-law is non-Chinese and what is so and so going to say if they see that. SIGH! Worse thing is I have cousins working here as well and it makes things worse that they tell their family they saw me with my bf. Those aunts go and tell my parents and add on more of their prejudice opinions SIGHHHH! Parents call me straightaway and nag/scold. Really want to give up on everything. Work also so stressful, now this.
Just checking with you hoping you are feeling better now.Thanks mommies. This isnt easy but I will try slowly to forgo the past. F will always be a beautiful memory till my last days.