am I being too unreasonable?

[Porukadotzu]

i feel so upset now, i found out tat my hubby always drop my bil's gf to office every monday coz she always stayed at our place (me still living at inlaws place) every weekend. she not married yet with bil but think tat they pretty much married in a way tat they always spent d nite 2gether.

n d upsetting part is, why my hubby now hv a new job of dropping his gf to office on every monday? hubby say coz her work near hubby's office, n his bro ask him help. but every monday?! gee ...

i sound so pathetic am i? hee~~

i know i should be more relax bout these kinda things, but i cant...hix!

should i scream to my hubby and tell him to stop?arrgh

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

No you are not being reasonable....cos' you know between even normal friends, feelings will develop for each other over time....

Your hubby might say aiya it won't happen one, but who knows? when they are in the car tog, and they began to pour out the feelings to each other....we are not talking about one day only, if this arrangement is gg to be permanent.....surely one day both will fall for each other

So please tell your hubby to stop being the "chauffer"

And how come you are staying at in laws place? confinement?

 

[diymummy]

If you feel uncomfortable about it, you should discuss it with your husband.

My husband sometimes shuttles his colleagues to the MRT. But he will never do it as a habit. From time to time, he is fine with it. The reason is, I would also be uncomfortable with him doing such "kind acts" as a habit.

I think it's fair and important that your hubby understands your feelings and respect them. The only way to do so, is to tell him how you feel.

 

[Porukadotzu]

No you are not being reasonable....cos' you know between even normal friends, feelings will develop for each other over time....

Your hubby might say aiya it won't happen one, but who knows? when they are in the car tog, and they began to pour out the feelings to each other....we are not talking about one day only, if this arrangement is gg to be permanent.....surely one day both will fall for each other

So please tell your hubby to stop being the "chauffer"

And how come you are staying at in laws place? confinement?

well me n hubby dun have our own place yet, so we still living together w/ his parents...

i got your point, i also have the same thinking as you did...=( tats y i feel bit paranoid hee~
i know my hb is not sort of person, but just to think of they go together i already freaking out...

sometime i feel tat i'm too sensitive bout my bil's gf always hang around d house, but i just cant help it..

she always wear revealing clothes around d house when she's here.. either pants too short or tops too small...haha... i sound so aunty huh... but y cant she wear proper clothes at someone else's home? i dun care if she just wear bikini as long as she wear it in her own house.

 

[Porukadotzu]

If you feel uncomfortable about it, you should discuss it with your husband.

My husband sometimes shuttles his colleagues to the MRT. But he will never do it as a habit. From time to time, he is fine with it. The reason is, I would also be uncomfortable with him doing such "kind acts" as a habit.

I think it's fair and important that your hubby understands your feelings and respect them. The only way to do so, is to tell him how you feel.

yea, i should talk to him bout tis....

but maybe he'd think i'm so nagging...

 

[bibiluvr]

if i were you, I'll also feel uncomfortable.. hmmm... but yr bro-in-law is ok with that arrangement?? Hmmm, think his gf should be more "automatic" lo...

 

[chiro]

wa! This situation is very sticky! Giving a lift is one thing,all the more she should observe proper dressing at other people home

i feel so upset now, i found out that my hubby always drop my brother in law's gf to office every monday coz she always stayed at our place (me still living at inlaws place) every weekend. she not married yet with brother in law but think that they pretty much married in a way that they always spent d nite 2gether.

n d upsetting part is, why my hubby now have a new job of dropping his gf to office on every monday? hubby say coz her work near hubby's office, n his bro ask him help. but every monday?! gee ...

i sound so pathetic am i? hee~~

i know i should be more relax bout these kinda things, but i cant...hix!

should i scream to my hubby and tell him to stop?arrgh

 

[angelwendy]

If for me i will get upset too... maybe i'm also very sensetive towards this kind of things.. because i feel that everything is possible... talk to ur hubby.. let him know how u feel about this...

 

[apollo]

if i were u, i will feel upset too! my gd fren last time will ask my hub to pick her from her hse to come my hse. i was v angry too. but my hub rejected, we told her my hub is v tired and dun wanna go out. and sometimes when she come my place, we wanna send her home, i will tag along. u can say i sound and behave v petty but i dun wan anyone to have the habit of keep asking my hub to send them to n fro places and esp FEMALES!!!! i will jealous okay! :001_302:

 

[apollo]

well me n hubby dont have our own place yet, so we still living together w/ his parents...

i got your point, i also have the same thinking as you did...=( tats y i feel bit paranoid hee~
i know my husband is not sort of person, but just to think of they go together i already freaking out...

sometime i feel that i'm too sensitive bout my brother in law's gf always hang around d house, but i just cant help it..

she always wear revealing clothes around d house when she's here.. either pants too short or tops too small...haha... i sound so aunty huh... but y cant she wear proper clothes at someone else's home? i dont care if she just wear bikini as long as she wear it in her own house.

i understand hw u feel. somemore the hse not only has her bf, got other males too. even in my hse which i live for more than 20yrs, i dun wear revealing clothes.

i dun think u r sensitive. i think most or mayb all women will feel the same way as u. even ur hub and ur bil's gf has no tt kind of intention at all but i still feel that they shd 避嫌..

tok to ur hub. tt time during my confinement, my fren 'requested' my hub to go her hse pick her and send her to my place. my hub wanna go and pick her up, i screamed at him! he said cos she is my fren, also his fren etc etc but i told him UNLESS I TAG along! he tot i was being unreasonable and dun trust him at all. but i told him hw i feel. i dun wan it become a habit. cos once it become a habit, very hard to 'quit'and we dunno what will happen in future, and i feel tt this is not the matter of trust the person ano..

 

[kenxf_03]

i feel so upset now, i found out that my hubby always drop my brother in law's gf to office every monday coz she always stayed at our place (me still living at inlaws place) every weekend. she not married yet with brother in law but think that they pretty much married in a way that they always spent d nite 2gether.

n d upsetting part is, why my hubby now have a new job of dropping his gf to office on every monday? hubby say coz her work near hubby's office, n his bro ask him help. but every monday?! gee ...

i sound so pathetic am i? hee~~

i know i should be more relax bout these kinda things, but i cant...hix!

should i scream to my hubby and tell him to stop?arrgh

For me, my Hb will fetch my galfrens from nearby mrt/bus stop to our hse whenever we hv meet up @ our place. I hv complete trust in my frens and Hb cos I dont mind at all.

But in ur case, ur BIL's gf always dress up so revealing and it somehow post a threat on you! If I were u, of cose, I wont be upset and troubled.

I suggested u speak to ur Hb and told him how u feel. Hope all will work well for u. : )

 

[skirtdressnsuch]

like a lot of mommies say.............speak to him, tell him wat u feel.........once it becomes a habit it is gonna be tough to kick!
I remember my jc lecturer said this. 'why is H-A-B-I-T so hard to kick?'
u kick away the 'H' u still have abit. u kick away the 'a' you still got bit。 even when u kick away the 'b' u still have it!!!! aaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh
so dun let it form into a habit

 

[meiteoh]

..i found out that my hubby always drop my brother in law's gf to office every monday coz she always stayed at our place (me still living at inlaws place) every weekend...

hubby say coz her work near hubby's office, n his bro ask him help. but every monday?!

sometime i feel that i'm too sensitive bout my brother in law's gf always hang around d house, but i just cant help it..

she always wear revealing clothes around d house when she's here.. either pants too short or tops too small...haha... i sound so aunty huh... but y cant she wear proper clothes at someone else's home? i dont care if she just wear bikini as long as she wear it in her own house.

Part of me thinks that your hubby dropping her off once a week is still alright but after reading your other replies, I don't quite approve of the idea. It's not so much that she'll seduce your hubby (it takes two to tango and if your hubby bites, well, it just goes to show what sort of man he is - just talking about what-ifs) but that it's getting to the point where it seems that she's taking advantage of your hubby's kindness towards his brother.

Also, her behaviour is quite improper. If she wants to hang around in the house, that's fine but I'm sure your PILs have something to say about her dresscode, no? Even my SIL - before she got married to my bro - was staying with us throughout their dating years but she never dresses in skimpy attire or behaves improperly. In fact, my bro was the one who was picking her up and sending her to work. She would always decline my parent's offer except one or two times when my bro isn't around.

I feel that the one who should be responsible for his girlfriend's behaviour is your BIL. He should educate her about how to fit into his family and not just let her be.

 

[Ting]

just talk to your hubby abt it bahs.
well, would he like it if ur colliq (assume u r working) fetches u home everyday even if it is on the way??
anyway, your bil's gf is just buay zi dong, your bil also same pattern.
n your hubby, also another one, shld just reject n say no.
bcos, i for sure know my bf will reject even if it is really on the way. unless u say its a heavy rainy morning then yeah im ok with it lahs.

 

[skirtdressnsuch]

just talk to your hubby about it bahs.
well, would he like it if your colliq (assume you r working) fetches you home everyday even if it is on the way??
anyway, your brother in law's gf is just buay zi dong, your brother in law also same pattern.
n your hubby, also another one, shld just reject n say no.
bcos, i for sure know my bf will reject even if it is really on the way. unless you say its a heavy rainy morning then yeah im ok with it lahs.

hhmmmmmmmmm can i beg to differ???? :embarrassed: i think it is pretty tough to reject some1 'close' to you........... esp when its really on the way............. but i do not deny the fact that feelingz can develop over time

 

[Porukadotzu]

if i were you, I'll also feel uncomfortable.. hmmm... but yr bro-in-law is ok with that arrangement?? Hmmm, think his gf should be more "automatic" ...

yeah, bil is the one who suggesting it...i also tink why cant the gf just go by herself? she's local and she have 2 feet and some more the mrt n bus station is just around the corner...blahh...

 

[Porukadotzu]

wa! This situation is very sticky! Giving a lift is one thing,all the more she should observe proper dressing at other people home

yeah i agree....i thot is just me who think tat we should hv proper dressing on others house...

 

[Porukadotzu]

thanx all, glad to think tat its quite normal to hv this perseption...

already have an 'almost banging table' conversation w/ hb last nite hee~

his excuse is its on d way to office, n he alight her at the road side, and bcoz bil ask him to so its saving money and saving time rather than she go take public transport and coz bil went to work at different direction so more convenient if hb who drop her to office.

hb somehow think that this things are normal and nothing would go wrong since everyone (including his parents) knows bout this and ofcoz bil suggesting it so he dun mind...and tat he have no other intention towards her....

but i feel tat even he think this is small thing and i suppose not to be jelous about, still he need to console to me first atleast... then he thinks that why i dun trust him...blah!

dunno he's too naive or just plain silly....i felt so angry out of nothing and im not even pregnant.

 

[Porukadotzu]

Part of me thinks that your hubby dropping her off once a week is still alright but after reading your other replies, I dont't quite approve of the idea. It's not so much that she'll seduce your hubby (it takes two to tango and if your hubby bites, well, it just goes to show what sort of man he is - just talking about what-ifs) but that it's getting to the point where it seems that she's taking advantage of your hubby's kindness towards his brother.

Also, her behaviour is quite improper. If she wants to hang around in the house, that's fine but I'm sure your PILs have something to say about her dresscode, no? Even my sister In law - before she got married to my bro - was staying with us throughout their dating years but she never dresses in skimpy attire or behaves improperly. In fact, my bro was the one who was picking her up and sending her to work. She would always decline my parent's offer except one or two times when my bro isn't around.

I feel that the one who should be responsible for his girlfriend's behaviour is your brother in law. He should educate her about how to fit into his family and not just let her be.

I also think tat bil shold've warn her bout her dresscode, but seems like bil dun mind bout it....

my PIL are no comment bout her too...tats y i hv this thinking maybe its me the only one in singapore who feel tat she's too revealing..ya know, since i hv 2 kids and my brain start to think like "aunty" style hehe...

lucky i don't have boys, i dun have to deal with this type of daughter in law in future haizz :001_302:

coz i'm also behaving like your sis in law even untill now after moved in with inlaws... and i also rather go myself than having my bil or pil to drive me around. tho nothing would happen but still i think that its troubling them.

i also insist to my hb when i hd the talk w/ him last nite tat his bro is d one who should drop her to office, dun care if its not the same route but he brought her to our place then ofcoz he hv to 'chaffeur' her lahz..

 

[Porukadotzu]

if i were you, i will feel upset too! my good friend last time will ask my hub to pick her from her house to come my house. i was very angry too. but my hub rejected, we told her my hub is very tired and dont wanna go out. and sometimes when she come my place, we wanna send her home, i will tag along. you can say i sound and behave very petty but i dont want anyone to have the habit of keep asking my hub to send them to n fro places and esp FEMALES!!!! i will jealous okay! :001_302:

hihi,

ya, hb should've know bout this thing can becoming habit and worse lead to other problem... somemore it's bil's girlfriend...not wife yet, there is no guarantee tat she will be his wife yet... they dun feel threatened...but i do! :001_302:

even married man and women can have affair....hehezz...i'm thinking too far again.