Anyone allow yr hubby to pursue partime course while working?

[crystalpink]

Would like to hear fm u gals if u do allow yr hubby to take partime ngt classes (Local university) while working at the same time for a period of 2 yrs?? What if his job require him to travel frequently n that he can get sponsorship fm his co. for the course that he wish to take plus this is just an additional cert which is not very crucial to hv it, will u still allow him to take??

 

[keefu]

If it's my hubby, i fully support bcos it will be a stepping stone on his career.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

I have a colleague, who takes p-t course, work late, sometime even wkend oso work.....he has prob with his family, his wife, son etc....yet he wants to take up this p-t course which is not beneficial to his job scope at all.....so my guess is trying to escape frm family time.....sorry just to side track a bit

Did you sit down and talk it out with ur hubby? I mean discuss it at length with him like what do u prefer him to do? like if you prefer him to spend more time with u or are u ok with him not spending time with u? and this course schedule? is it every weekday?

Ask him why he want to take up this course? I know of an ex-colleague, whose hubby collects certs type......but she is ok with it.....try to sometime see frm his POV and see if you can accept it, communicate with each other

 

[diymummy]

I myself will be taking a part time course sponsored by my company for the next 2 years.

My hubs is very supportive of it.

If it's my hubby, I will allow him to do it. Even if it's not of much use now, it will definitely be of use in the future. But of course, some certs have "shelf lives". So it really depends what he is doing, what he wants to do in future.

 

[yuzudinga]

Would like to hear fm u gals if u do allow yr hubby to take partime ngt classes (Local university) while working at the same time for a period of 2 yrs?? What if his job require him to travel frequently n that he can get sponsorship fm his co. for the course that he wish to take plus this is just an additional cert which is not very crucial to hv it, will u still allow him to take??

hello sis, how frequent is the class n how frequent does he travel? if my hubby confide to me about this i will ask him whether he can cope with it.
if he is able to manage his time well n believes he can cope with everything plus able to set time aside for me and baby, i will encourage him to go ahead if he feels tat the course will help him in his future work.

do get him to check if there could be penalties (eg: if he fail to complete the course, company wont pay) he will need to take tat into consideration.

 

[crystalpink]

Well, I don't mean that this cert is of no use to him nw , but he feels its better to secure one since he is young for future purpose if he intends to switch to other areas of work, like perhaps teaching at a later stage..so its like can take or don't take also not a big issue thg. N furthermore he already had specialize certs on hand for his present job, n yet he still wish to pursue another cert (Master degree) which i kw is not really relevant to his job rgt nw. Cos if he does not take this course, he still can perform his duties well.

My main concern is his health, as his present job duties is hectic , requires him to travel to Europe n Asia countries. Though im aware if he takes up the course, schedule of travelling can be arranged but perhaps im too demanding, his course will hv to occupy 4 days in the wkdays evening after work which means when he comes bk, already abt 10plus, get bk to sleep at ard 11pm, I hardly hv time to talk to him or hv any discussion. Besides, during the wkends, he still need to do his co managemt reports etc n school work, how to cater quality time for me? cos im aware i can't be selfish to "force" him go out for shopping or dinner with me whereby his mind is always his co. work n studies..

By rgt as a wife, i shd fully support him since he is upgrading himself for the sake of a better future. But i feel im already living in comfort n don't wish to see him taking this course to further increase his stress level which i feel is unnecessary.
N I kw his type, if i agree him to take up the course, after that he would want to take PHD ,never ending... hw?? Then both of us can't go for holidays...miserable life!!:embarrassed:

 

[crystalpink]

hello sis, how frequent is the class n how frequent does he travel? if my hubby confide to me about this i will ask him whether he can cope with it.
if he is able to manage his time well n believes he can cope with everything plus able to set time aside for me and baby, i will encourage him to go ahead if he feels tat the course will help him in his future work.

do get him to check if there could be penalties (eg: if he fail to complete the course, company wont pay) he will need to take tat into consideration.

Well, there is condition attached of course, ie 2yrs bond to work in the co.upon completing of the whole course. If wish to resign after completing the course, just pay the fees in full. Anyway, previously when he was with other co, he was also bonded for his Master deg course, so he is prepared.

 

[yuzudinga]

Well, I don't mean that this cert is of no use to him nw , but he feels its better to secure one since he is young for future purpose if he intends to switch to other areas of work, like perhaps teaching at a later stage..so its like can take or don't take also not a big issue thg. N furthermore he already had specialize certs on hand for his present job, n yet he still wish to pursue another cert (Master degree) which i kw is not really relevant to his job rgt nw. Cos if he does not take this course, he still can perform his duties well.

My main concern is his health, as his present job duties is hectic , requires him to travel to Europe n Asia countries. Though im aware if he takes up the course, schedule of travelling can be arranged but perhaps im too demanding, his course will hv to occupy 4 days in the wkdays evening after work which means when he comes bk, already abt 10plus, get bk to sleep at ard 11pm, I hardly hv time to talk to him or hv any discussion. Besides, during the wkends, he still need to do his co managemt reports etc n school work, how to cater quality time for me? cos im aware i can't be selfish to "force" him go out for shopping or dinner with me whereby his mind is always his co. work n studies..

By rgt as a wife, i shd fully support him since he is upgrading himself for the sake of a better future. But i feel im already living in comfort n doesn't wish to see him taking this course to further increase his stress level which i feel is unnecessary.
N I kw his type, if i agree him to take up the course, after that he would want to take PHD ,never ending... hw?? Then both of us can't go for holidays...miserable life!!:embarrassed:

wow.. ur hubby likes studying alot.. if tats the case, have a good chat with him without being emotional. ask him after this course are there any other course is he intending to study? will there be finally some time for u to go holiday with him? let him know what it means for u if he continues studying. at least give both of u some mental preparation for wat is to come. jiayou!

 

[crystalpink]

Hi yuzudinga,

Oh its not that my hubby likes studying.. just that he is quite ambitious, always wish to climb high in corporate ladder n perhaps "kiasu". His intention is also to hv a "backup" in case due to bad economy or crisis strikes, he can switch to teaching line, n with the cert can even start with higher salary as compared to a degree.

Frankly speaking, I don't agree him to switch line unless really no choice, cos i don't believe he will wish to accept a lower pay if its a totally diff job scope like teaching. Even if its at a later stage, like 50 plus, if he switch line, he won't be getting an attractive salary as well n i feel it defits the purpose of hving this cert though he keeps stressing the pt that at least there are more choices n diff paths to look at...to be honest, we did quarrel over this issue a number of times n rgt now, he is not in S'pore but had told me he has not decide yet and will look into the schools for courses info, that makes me angrier..

 

[yuzudinga]

Hi yuzudinga,

Oh its not that my hubby likes studying.. just that he is quite ambitious, always wish to climb high in corporate ladder n perhaps "kiasu". His intention is also to hv a "backup" in case due to bad economy or crisis strikes, he can switch to teaching line, n with the cert can even start with higher salary as compared to a degree.

Frankly speaking, I don't agree him to switch line unless really no choice, cos i don't believe he will wish to accept a lower pay if its a totally diff job scope like teaching. Even if its at a later stage, like 50 plus, if he switch line, he won't be getting an attractive salary as well n i feel it defits the purpose of hving this cert though he keeps stressing the pt that at least there are more choices n diff paths to look at...to be honest, we did quarrel over this issue a number of times n rgt now, he is not in S'pore but had told me he has not decide yet and will look into the schools for courses info, that makes me angrier..

dont angry. he is respecting u which is why he has told u about what he is planning. actually i do agree with ur hubby tat its good to have backup plans especially in such a volatile economic situation. stay calm n explain tat u need him to spend quality time with u n baby. dont quarrel with him over such matters coz in the future he will just dont tell u about his plans since u will quarrel with him. u would rather he let u know then not letting u know right?

 

[crystalpink]

dont angry. he is respecting u which is why he has told u about what he is planning. actually i do agree with ur hubby tat its good to have backup plans especially in such a volatile economic situation. stay calm n explain tat u need him to spend quality time with u n baby. dont quarrel with him over such matters coz in the future he will just dont tell u about his plans since u will quarrel with him. u would rather he let u know then not letting u know right?

Hi yuzudinga,

Fyi I don't hv baby at the moment. Not planning to hv one..but not sure for the future. To be frank, its not easy to be wife of a workaholic n ambitious guy. I hv to settle lots of thgs myself, big or small issue like financial planning, appointmt dates n holiday planning etc etc.. i got to remind him or hv to bring up to discuss with him, he won't take initiative to discuss. So, Im sort of a "secretary" to him. So, somehw i tend to envy those couples with kids whose hubby will take initiative to plan for holidays n other activities. Can't even think of hving a baby, if hv rgt nw, i "faint" ! I don't think he can cater much quality time for me if he pursue this course, the most is once a wk, accompany me to do marketing n thereafter for dinner, thats all. Maybe during his school vacation, can be more relax other than that guess his AL is to reserve for preparations of exams. If he wants to take up the course, he will always tell me " I anyhw study also can pass, don't worry that all my AL will be taken up just to study, n I never fail b4 in my life.." This is just his tactics to make me feel at ease..hehe..

So, if u were me, u don't mind him to take up is it?? u don't mind him to sacrifice the 2yrs time with this course which may not be useful in future, cos thgs may chg.. n his efforts may be down to drain.Besides, its not easy taking partime with a hectic job on hand as well n plus the course is tough. R u willing to sacrifice the opportunity cost to spend the time to enjoy life with him in exchange for the course??

 

[MyHappyKids]

during the nineties, Diploma is sufficient.
Fast track to twenty 1st century..... the basic requirement to obtain a decent remuneration is "Bachelor" now.
He may be recognised and supported in this current company, but if he doesn't have a paper qualification, what if he is retrenched and need to find another job?
How sure are you that his new company will place more emphasize on experience that paper qualification?
The matter will be worst if he is "promoted" to lead a team of "graduate" subordinates.... will you be happy working under someone who is "Experience" but with not proper education?

For live and career, always be forward looking. Nothing will remain stationary, in fact all things and events are changing, just how fast....
Prepare ourselves, anticipate changes and we will survive...

Would like to hear fm u gals if u do allow yr hubby to take partime ngt classes (Local university) while working at the same time for a period of 2 yrs?? What if his job require him to travel frequently n that he can get sponsorship fm his co. for the course that he wish to take plus this is just an additional cert which is not very crucial to hv it, will u still allow him to take??

 

[yuzudinga]

Hi yuzudinga,

Fyi I don't hv baby at the moment. Not planning to hv one..but not sure for the future. To be frank, its not easy to be wife of a workaholic n ambitious guy. I hv to settle lots of thgs myself, big or small issue like financial planning, appointmt dates n holiday planning etc etc.. i got to remind him or hv to bring up to discuss with him, he won't take initiative to discuss. So, Im sort of a "secretary" to him. So, somehw i tend to envy those couples with kids whose hubby will take initiative to plan for holidays n other activities. Can't even think of hving a baby, if hv rgt nw, i "faint" ! I don't think he can cater much quality time for me if he pursue this course, the most is once a wk, accompany me to do marketing n thereafter for dinner, thats all. Maybe during his school vacation, can be more relax other than that guess his AL is to reserve for preparations of exams. If he wants to take up the course, he will always tell me " I anyhw study also can pass, don't worry that all my AL will be taken up just to study, n I never fail b4 in my life.." This is just his tactics to make me feel at ease..hehe..

So, if u were me, u don't mind him to take up is it?? u don't mind him to sacrifice the 2yrs time with this course which may not be useful in future, cos thgs may chg.. n his efforts may be down to drain.Besides, its not easy taking partime with a hectic job on hand as well n plus the course is tough. R u willing to sacrifice the opportunity cost to spend the time to enjoy life with him in exchange for the course??

i believe i dont mind because i myself have taken up a course couple of yrs ago which is not related to my current work but i took it up because i realize i couldnt really understand my other colleagues/boss during discussions. i always believe in live till old, learn till old (direct translation from chinese) so i will be more than happy if my hubby is willing to learn more. well, it beats having too much time on his hands and thinking about entertainment instead right?

 

[crystalpink]

i believe i dont mind because i myself have taken up a course couple of yrs ago which is not related to my current work but i took it up because i realize i couldnt really understand my other colleagues/boss during discussions. i always believe in live till old, learn till old (direct translation from chinese) so i will be more than happy if my hubby is willing to learn more. well, it beats having too much time on his hands and thinking about entertainment instead right?

Well, I agree with u "huo dao lao, xue dao lao", but if he doesn't hv a hectic job schedule in the co, I do not mind to let him pursue whatever course he wishes to take,besides it is not that he doesn't hv a Master deg cert on hand, n that it is also not his boss idea. Plus don't feel there will be a drastic increase in pay wise by holding another Master deg cert..haha! Cos his boss also hv master degree but he keep complaining he is "underpaid" (Don't kw hw true). Anyway, basically I feel he cannot juggle with his work n family, even without pursuing the course, he already neglected me at times (with his co. work) not to mention abt entertainment.. so with this course coming in, think it will be worse.

As a married woman, though i agree a career is imp to a married man, but somehw i feel he is a bit "over"..N i feel base on his achievemts at his age in the co, he shd be contented enough..why must make my life miserable?? For me, i yearn for a simple life, life is short, n feel that i must live life to the fullest! Guess he is taking advantage of me, since we don't hv kids, so that i got no excuse for not allowing him to study. What I want is more towards a "free n easy" life after work, since most of the time we are at work, then why not hv more freedom to do whatever we wish to do in life 2gether other than to study? Well, b4 we married, he already spent 2yrs time pursuing his 1st Master deg, after married, the 2nd one coming...don't kw when will be the last one, think if he more or less confirm taking up the course, i shd make use of this opportunity to ask him take Phd instead, then for sure no more coming next!

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Hi Crystal,

Tell him what you want & need frm him ---to spend more time with him.....think he is not unreasonable type to ignore ur wants & needs right?

If he really insist to go then hv to let him go & study, in the meantime you can do lots of things too by yourself, you can make new friends (which you have made a few here :001_302 meet up with them for dinner or coffee? then meet ur hubby after he finishes class & go home tog....or you can take up some classes like yoga, pilates, or cooking class, baking class to occupy ur time, wkend when he is busy wkg on his reports can cook nice food or bake some cakes for him, think he will appreciate that a lot

Have urself a me-time too....pamper urself, love urself ancing_wub:

 

[crystalpink]

Hi Phoebii,

Yes, he is not unreasonable type to ignore me..but just need to give him a "push" or else he will just think that by staying at hme doing his co.work is all what i mean by "caring" so long I can get to see him every min every sec..without communication i mean..haha..

Yup..if he still insist to proceed his plans, I can't stop him either. Will pamper myself with other "Ladies" activities..n yes i hv also made a few wonderful frds here indeed! Thks for yr sharing, appreciate that a lot!

 

[ihmdweh]

Hi Phoebii,

Yes, he is not unreasonable type to ignore me..but just need to give him a "push" or else he will just think that by staying at hme doing his co.work is all what i mean by "caring" so long I can get to see him every min every sec..without communication i mean..haha..

Yup..if he still insist to proceed his plans, I can't stop him either. Will pamper myself with other "Ladies" activities..n yes i hv also made a few wonderful frds here indeed! Thks for yr sharing, appreciate that a lot!

mmm a bit perplexed after reading the posts here.... anyway here's my 2 cents worth:

the word ALLOW shouldn't even come into the picture that you've depicted as u guys are PARTNERS but do not own each other. Yes i agree that he's accountable to you for his actions, but he's doing something good! Somehow i feel that u are just disgruntled that he will not be spending enough time with you if he takes up this course which comes across as a bit selfish (i'm sorry if i've offended you in any way).

Just put yourself in his shoes.. How would u feel if u would like to do something (either study / learn a skill) that MAY benefit yourself and your family in the future and your husband says no just because of you wouldn't have "enough time" to spend with him on personal pleasure? I would personally be deeply offended and feel that u are absolutely not supportive at all.

Try to accept his decisions with an open heart and support him in what he feels that its right. JUst let him know that u expect to spend quality time with him at least one or 2 hours a day and he should schedule his work and study schedule ard it. Ultimately u guys will be happier with less arguements.

 

[crystalpink]

mmm a bit perplexed after reading the posts here.... anyway here's my 2 cents worth:

the word ALLOW shouldn't even come into the picture that you've depicted as u guys are PARTNERS but do not own each other. Yes i agree that he's accountable to you for his actions, but he's doing something good! Somehow i feel that u are just disgruntled that he will not be spending enough time with you if he takes up this course which comes across as a bit selfish (i'm sorry if i've offended you in any way).

Just put yourself in his shoes.. How would u feel if u would like to do something (either study / learn a skill) that MAY benefit yourself and your family in the future and your husband says no just because of you wouldn't have "enough time" to spend with him on personal pleasure? I would personally be deeply offended and feel that u are absolutely not supportive at all.

Try to accept his decisions with an open heart and support him in what he feels that its right. JUst let him know that u expect to spend quality time with him at least one or 2 hours a day and he should schedule his work and study schedule ard it. Ultimately u guys will be happier with less arguements.

Thk u for yr suggestions, yes u are rgt to say that im not really supportive with him with regards to taking up this course as he is that type who can spend hrs non stop in his rm doing co.work or study, he can be so engross in such a way that even I hv somethg in mind to discuss with him, he will give me excuses like " Later, im busy..."Thereafter he will forget everythg even after i hv bring up. So, I guess is his character n its hard to change, probably needs a long time. Unlike others, who can temporary stop his work n pay some attention to his spouse. Thats the pt im focusing. Yup, think he has to schedule his work n study appropriately over the wkends.. life is not just abt work n study after all.