Birth Cert

[pprincesslynn]

im tinking of puttin my bf's name into the birth cert, bcos i dun think it looks nice with it being blank right? but however my boyfriend is serving his sentence, hence no wae i can get him to go down to ICA with me. damn irritated.

i know that u can just take a oath to swear that the guy is the child's dad and that will do. can i check if i insert the dad's name into the BC, but can the child's surname still be mine?

 

[sby78]

To be frank, i will not recommend to insert the father's name if you do not plan to stay with him for marriage etc...

Coz i meet problems now. I had spoken to lawyer and by law, as he is the real father, in future anything like go school or whenever need both parents signature, there will be problems. If u do not wish to keep in contact with him like i do, you will need to get FULL custody of your child and all this almost like if u had to divorce and fighting for custody of child.... but without divorce that all... and if go through lawyer, fees cost at least 2k++ and above (depends on lawyer)... so unless u have plans to settle down with him... no point input his name..

Chances of winning the custody is high but he still stand a chance... do u wan to lose ur precious ones?

Now i got no choice... it is whether i pay the lawyer's fee if not i had to contact my girl's father whenever they need the father signature etc..

if u married to another man, u will also need to get his consent whether ur child can change surname etc to ur new man's surname....
if u willing to sign, u r lucky.... but if not??? Had to go through lawyer etc....

so my opinion is dun put father's name unless u getting married with him... but if u put, u can request for monthly maintenance but of course subject whether he wan to pay regularly or not... if he not goin to pay, then u will be in trouble like i do in future...

but if i got the choice now, i rather dun put, i dun wish to see a lousy no use person anymore and i do not wish to let my girl know she had such father...

 

[Amulet]

To be frank, i will not recommend to insert the father's name if you do not plan to stay with him for marriage etc...

Coz i meet problems now. I had spoken to lawyer and by law, as he is the real father, in future anything like go school or whenever need both parents signature, there will be problems. If u do not wish to keep in contact with him like i do, you will need to get FULL custody of your child and all this almost like if u had to divorce and fighting for custody of child.... but without divorce that all... and if go through lawyer, fees cost at least 2k++ and above (depends on lawyer)... so unless u have plans to settle down with him... no point input his name..

Chances of winning the custody is high but he still stand a chance... do u wan to lose ur precious ones?

Now i got no choice... it is whether i pay the lawyer's fee if not i had to contact my girl's father whenever they need the father signature etc..

if u married to another man, u will also need to get his consent whether ur child can change surname etc to ur new man's surname....
if u willing to sign, u r lucky.... but if not??? Had to go through lawyer etc....

so my opinion is dun put father's name unless u getting married with him... but if u put, u can request for monthly maintenance but of course subject whether he wan to pay regularly or not... if he not goin to pay, then u will be in trouble like i do in future...

but if i got the choice now, i rather dun put, i dun wish to see a lousy no use person anymore and i do not wish to let my girl know she had such father...

this is exactly my thought.. that why i decide to leave the father's column blank.. don wan anything to do with him.. save me all the trouble..

 

[pprincesslynn]

im tinkin of puttin the father's name thou
and whether or not we will end up together will depends on fate
we're seperated nw due to him hafing some problem wif the laws and serving sentnece
and well, i dun tink he is a lousy guy
jus some immature boy who still didnt tink twice before he commit an offence

understand the concern all of u haf
but i believe me and the father can work everiting out

 

[karoru]

pprincesslyn, yours is quite an exceptional case... why not appeal to ica and prisons? they might be able to make special arrangement... eg: maybe let baby's daddy out for a few hours with their escort to ica just for the procedure or maybe can do it in prison?? no harm trying, ya... i guess baby's daddy must be very young, too... are you also facing difficulties in financially? there are a lot of schemes out there who are specifically helping couples whereby one party is serving sentence...in terms of different way... let me know if you need more information, ya... in the mean time, do take good care...

 

[pprincesslynn]

pprincesslyn, yours is quite an exceptional case... why not appeal to ica and prisons? they might be able to make special arrangement... eg: maybe let baby's daddy out for a few hours with their escort to ica just for the procedure or maybe can do it in prison?? no harm trying, ya... i guess baby's daddy must be very young, too... are you also facing difficulties in financially? there are a lot of schemes out there who are specifically helping couples whereby one party is serving sentence...in terms of different way... let me know if you need more information, ya... in the mean time, do take good care...

hiyea. the prison department doesn even allow me to visit him. sigh. it is my biggest headache nw.
bcos im nt on gd terms wif his family and hence even thou im preggy wif his child, their family doesn care and dun allow me to visit him
and hence ive appeal to prison department to request for me to see him. hwever dey rejected saeing tat im onli the GF, at most the fiancee and cannt gif me the right to visit him
when asked if my baby can visit him, dey also rejected. saeing even if BC haf the father's name, im still not the wife legally
hence dey cannt gif me the visit pass jus bcos my son is his son.

ive check wif ICA, dey mention that when i go down to ICA to do the BC
i jus inform them that the father wishes the name to be in the BC and is serving sentence
and they will make arrangement to visit him in the prison to ask him to sign the form and make the oath
is rather troublesome

 

[karoru]

oic...!! seems like your major obstacle is the status part... i m just wondering whether will it be possible to have your vows in prison... that might save part of your worries if both you and your partner are ready for it... else you will lost out on the baby bonus, too... or how about your family try to tok to your partner's family to work something out?

 

[pprincesslynn]

the mother doesn like me and after 2yrs plus of trying, still no changes
instead she took advantage to treat me even worst bcos she know i would wan to get into her gd books.
as he's 1yr younger then me, 20 this yr, unable to have our vows without his parents approval
so tat woud also haf to wait
and i speak wif the prison department, they sae that 'in their adult view' dey will also not allow us to exchange vow in the prison
irregardless of whetehr im pregnant or not
ireegardless of whether we haf talked abt marriage bfore i got pregnant an dhe got sentence
bcos dey still treat us as kids

so nw ive totally no choice and cannt work aniting out
gettin my family to talk is also bad
bcos the mother is going around my bf's family to critise me and ruin my reputation
but im glad his family know wad kind of person im
as i do interact wif them behind her back

 

[DodoTan]

sby78 is right. You should think carefully about putting the father's name in the birth cert. I'm a pri sch teacher and during p1 registration, we require both parents' ic and signature, unless there's a divorce cert or death cert or something to prove that dad's ic and signature cannot be obtained. Have had to send applicants back for such documents before.

 

[CynCyn]

pprincesslynn , even if is gf status can go visit one that's only if together with his family member .

 

[pprincesslynn]

pprincesslynn , even if is gf status can go visit one that's only if together with his family member .

as ive mention earlier on, his mum doesn like me
and rejected me to visiting him
i tried asking the brother for help
he sae he see wad he can do
which i tink he is quite helpless as mayb the card holder is the mother herself
hence he cannt do aniting.

 

[*cynn.89llaluby]

one family member can bring euu in de...
need cardholder mehh...
ours is make apointment... blah.. bring birth cert... bring sibling birth cert. then can bring gf in...

 

[pprincesslynn]

dey sae tat haf to b the cardholder/next of kin my bf have stated when he fill up the form
and that next of kin/cardholder haf to b there then dey can allow
not sure abt that also
aniwae, the bro also not veri free to alwaes go visit him
bcos dey all need to work and so i tink dey onli visit like once a month onli lor
where will so gd and take leave every 2 weeks to visit him(bcos onli office hrs)

 

[karoru]

you may want to try the following hotlines to see whether are they able to provide any alternatives for you...

1. samaritans of singapore (sos) - 1800 221 4444

2. family service centre - 1800 838 0100

3. care corner mandarin counselling centre - 1800 3535800

hope it helps

 

[pprincesslynn]

karoru, i did went for the family service centre. and dey are wasting my time.
why i went there is bcos the prison department wanted me to go and talk to the counsellor before dey see my case
however after i talk to the counsellor
dey simply sae that it is their POLICY and dey can do NOTHING to bend the policy.
realli waste of my time
and the family service centre even best. the lady asked me after my 1st visit
'hw u wan us to help u? there's no proper referrel here. we duno wad we can do for u. mayb u tink hw u wan us to help u then u let me know and i see wad i can do?'
totally gif up. next step would b the MP

 

[karoru]

oh no, i m sorry to hear all that... yeah, you can try MP but i heard it is quite hard to meet up with them... i wish you good luck and do keeps us updated... will keep you in our prayer... btw, can your bf try to tok to his counsellor or officer in the prison? coz i heard that both parties must try their very best to work things out before they willing to make exception...

 

[joeichen]

Can try write a letter to him?
I got a fren who got similiar pro but she is not pregnant lah.
She manage to get the grant to visit him.
Can try to seek legal advise on that.

 

[pprincesslynn]

thanks for all the the concern

my bf is currently in RTC (reformative training centre) not the prison
which many claim that they would rather go to prison then to RTC reason being they are very very strict.
if you go to jail, for examples u are being sentenced to 1yr, you actually serve less then that.
they will deduct away all the sundays & PH and so my friend said that it bcomes about 8 months only.
if you have gd performance. Maybe even earlier
however in RTC, that's not the case. 18 months means 18months
1yr means 1yr. no discount at all.
i have alreadi write in to him to ask him to appeal on his side also.
but have yet to receive anything from him.

i also dun pin much hope on all this alreadi.
jus tat i tryin my best to fight for what i deserve, or wad my child deserve and wad he deserve
hw can u deprieve a father from seein the son
or the son from seeing the father?
i find it so unfair
im already 24 weeks preggy. meaning another 3 more months to go
i also duno hw long will all this drag on
sigh. jus wish tat even if i dun get to see
my son will get to see the father.

 

[pigletif]

hi lynn, you are very strong. reali pity u on your problems. Sometimes law is like tat, cannot means cannot, there is nothing we can do. They have to go by the book. dumb dumb one. Must reali endure till ur bf come out. Hope he reali understand what you are going through and come out with a positive mind set and take care of you and baby.

My fren met with some problems on the birth cert, don know anyone have similar case or not.
she just found out pregnant but the BF is married actually. So can the Birth cert still put his name? Will there be any implication with the law?
heard he will arrange for divorce but don know when cos the wife run away.
Can he follow her into labour? cos hospital also don know whether are they married or not.

 

[pprincesslynn]

pigletif, ur fren can still put the bf's name into the BC> but he have to go with her to ICA and make the oath. my friend's bf also is married and not divorced bcos they are unable to afford the money to pay for the divorced fee. FYI, they have total 3 children including the wife's child and only the guy is working. so kinda hard up on them. but my friend's bf did went into the labour ward wif them. i tink jus declare as finacee they should b able to allow