Bond with Babies.

[Pwiincess]

I started wrking 6 wks after delivery, leaving my dear son to the caretaker. I'm worried that once baby gets used to e scent n voice of the caretaker, he wont b close to me anymore.

This was what happened when i had my elder girl. She was left in mother in law's care when i returned to work. I feel very hurt that i wasnt the one she came running to when she fell or was scared. So i left my job n took care of her fully and yes, she was very close to me!

I started wrking again bcos I want to help hubby ease some burdens. One more income certainly helps. Any mummies feel the same with me?

 

[kenxf_03]

Tink its normal ba for a mummy.. I do have this tinking as urs too!! Wanted to ease the burden of HB so went to work too. But its after my maternity leaves.

Worried that dear son will be clingy to MIL and then dont wanna me. But tihing turn out diff.

After my 4 mth maternity leaves, leave it to my MIL. But lucky dear son is clingy to me. Will pout when he saw me after my work and wanted me to carry. But sometimes MIL too obsessive and wont let me carry. Even after my work... :embarrassed:

NOw, I'm at full time mummy to my son cos I'm expecting no 2 and its real tired for me to go work when my dear son slp quite late at nites and will wake up at nites a few times cos his pacifier drop out from his mouth. >.<

Maybe if possible, you wanna go work only after a few mths?? Used these few mths to take care of ur BB and ur BB will be clingy to u too. Cos u are the one who provide the needs to him.

 

[diymummy]

I guess this can be an issue with working mums. It was also my fear when my 4 mths maternity leave ended.

Hubby and I decided that we will make an extra effort to spend time with our son on weekends and we also take leave to spend time with him.

My son's in an infant care. He's not clingy to me or my hubby but he does show a preference for us. Whenever we go and pick him up, he will smile so widely and crawl towards us.

Some of my colleagues asked why don't I hire a caretaker and ds can stay over on weekdays and we can bring him home on weekends. That way we won't be tired in the day. But we feel that for our son to know we love him and bond with him, we have to spend time with him no matter how tired we are.

You reap what you sow.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Yes agree with diymummy, my son is oso in the infant care, but so far he is quite clingly to us.......

But now dun know since two weeks ago, he is more clingly to his daddy....normally it is me who accompanies him to bed at night, but recently he wants his daddy and will listen to what his daddy says....

Pwincess, try to spend more time with ur kids if possible, every moment spend with them, play with them and they will know how much you love them and naturally they will be close to you.

 

[diymummy]

Yes agree with diymummy, my son is also in the infant care, but so far he is quite clingly to us.......

But now dont know since two weeks ago, he is more clingly to his daddy....normally it is me who accompanies him to bed at night, but recently he wants his daddy and will listen to what his daddy says....

Pwincess, try to spend more time with your kids if possible, every moment spend with them, play with them and they will know how much you love them and naturally they will be close to you.

LOL!! Phoebii mummy, my son also prefers daddy. Even starts calling daddy first though it's me who feeds him, change him... Daddy plays with son more, maybe that's why he prefers daddy. LOL!!!

But I was thinking, good also. Next time he wants $$$, go to daddy. Don't come to me. LOL!!

 

[adelynn]

As a FTWM i also have this dilemma about not being able to bond with my child after i return to work in 2 months time (am only taking 3 months maternity at 1 shot). In a bid to 'maintain' work life balance and sustain the bond and not miss out on my child's growing up, i have managed to talked to my boss into allowing me to take the last remaining month of maternity leave in days where i only work 4 day work week instead of 5 until i exhaust all of my leave.

My mentality towards this arrangement is at least on one week day i have my full attention span on her accompanying her, looking after her and playing with her. But of course there will be this part of me that frets over the possibility that my girl may bond more to her primary caretaker (in the form of domestic help)

My hubby and I have had several discussions over this and have also explored the possibility of me being a SAHM to 'watch her grow' but there are some sacrifices we would need to make towards our lifestyle if we make this change. Given that we are still young and striving towards saving sufficient for our girl is also one of our priorities, realistically this can not be achieved at this stage of our lives whereby our income contribution is more tilted towards my side.

so we can only make do and make the best out of our current situation to allow me to maximise my time with my girl. However, i am also a strong believer that if we are keen and focus on maintaining/building the bond, it only takes extra effort on our end as parents and we can still maintain 'a balance'

 

[jxmummy]

I started wrking 6 wks after delivery, leaving my dear son to the caretaker. I'm worried that once baby gets used to e scent n voice of the caretaker, he wont b close to me anymore.

This was what happened when i had my elder girl. She was left in mother in law's care when i returned to work. I feel very hurt that i wasnt the one she came running to when she fell or was scared. So i left my job n took care of her fully and yes, she was very close to me!

I started wrking again bcos I want to help hubby ease some burdens. One more income certainly helps. Any mummies feel the same with me?

*HUGS* I totally understand yr feelings, cos I'm also a FTWM. Once my maternity leave ended, on the 1st day when i came back from work, the moment i carried dd, she wailed, i was like ??? it's very saddening. but now gradually it's getting fine, cos i took care of dd the moment i reached home =) yup, one more income certainly helps, so gotta work.

 

[Pwiincess]

thanks mummies!

Baby gave caretaker many probs - kept crying n refused to sleep at night. However when we brought him back today, he slept very soundly when i took care of him. I'm glad he still prefers me although i'm not his primary caretaker now. hubby offered to look after baby tonight n let me rest but i insisted doing it myself. I want baby boy to be close n clingy to me! Haha.

My elder babygirl is 21 mths old now. Hubby is taking care of her in the day while i work until she goes to a cc next year. She shakes her head whenever i told her i'm gng to work. She cries when she sees me leave for work. But only for a few days loh! now when i return frm work, she nv run towards me excitedly le. I wonder if she misses me still. She is very clingy to hubby now. She used to look for me when she wants milk or sleeps, but now she calls out to her dad. Diaoz! I told hubby about the changes after i start working. He said at least babygirl is close to own dad, but not others wad! Lols.

 

[Mummy to Baby V]

Hi Mummies, I gave up working during pregnancy since hubby had to relocate to KL.
Having been a SAHM for almost 10 months, it seems that baby will be closest to his main caregiver. Baby is rather close to Daddy too even though they only meet for only 2hrs in the evenings and on weekends. I let Daddy play and cuddle baby whenever they meet to develop a strong bond. He carries baby in a baby carrier when we go out too; this is a good way to bond.

For working Mums, after a long day at work, try to feed, bathe, change, play with baby and put him to bed (co-sleeping in the same bed or same room creates closeness too) in the evenings. Delegate housework to someone else so that you can spend as much time with baby as possible.

Do meaningful activities as a family together during weekends, eg. Swimming, going to a park / playground or playing at home.

All the best!

Cheers,
Mummy to Baby V
Win a Modern Cloth Diaper worth $30 at Mummy's Reviews Giveaway

 

[Ting]

hmmm, actually, as they grow older to the toddler age, they will cling to u again, its a phase.
ive been taking care of pin since NB til she was 18 mths then to CC.
she was not super clingy to me, but to my dad.
but as she grows older, she clings onto me more n more.
now, she also looks for me if she wants anything.
i guess she knows im her mummy, tts y~
LOL!
but time n again, she will go look for my dad.