busy busy hubby

[sg81hani]

Hi everyone,
Does anyone have a hubby who works shifts? I just had a baby and still on maternity leave. Ever since my baby was born, my hubby seems to be very tired after his shifts. So much so that sometimes I feel neglected and feel like I'm taking care of the baby myself. I'm going back to work in a months time and would definately need all the help I can get. Am I being too demanding? How would you approach the issue? Any advice?

 

[candy_ian]

Hi everyone,
Does anyone have a hubby who works shifts? I just had a baby and still on maternity leave. Ever since my baby was born, my hubby seems to be very tired after his shifts. So much so that sometimes I feel neglected and feel like I'm taking care of the baby myself. I'm going back to work in a months time and would definately need all the help I can get. Am I being too demanding? How would you approach the issue? Any advice?

my hubby works night shift but sometimes he works like 15hrs straight then when he's back he knock out but its all family business so can't help it.. in fact not much help from him bb born from day1. i had to do the shuttling btween hospital when bb is a wk old n admitted for jaundice.. but i know he still loves us its just that he wished he could have more time but he's just too tired.. don't worry when bb is slightly bigger n more routined he will have more time for the bb.

 

[sg81hani]

my hubby works night shift but sometimes he works like 15hrs straight then when he's back he knock out but its all family business so can't help it.. in fact not much help from him bb born from day1. i had to do the shuttling btween hospital when bb is a wk old n admitted for jaundice.. but i know he still loves us its just that he wished he could have more time but he's just too tired.. don't worry when bb is slightly bigger n more routined he will have more time for the bb.

I really hope so! It can be quite frustrating at times but I wouldn't want to blow my top and start a meaningless argument.

 

[angelwendy]

I think maybe he is just tired... maybe u can ask someone to go ur place & help u out...

 

[sg81hani]

I can manage with the chores and baby, but just wished he could spend more time playing with the baby and being around me.

 

[fioncess]

I can manage with the chores and baby, but just wished he could spend more time playing with the baby and being around me.

Hi,
I can say guys r more visual person.
like my hubby he didnt help alot when i gave birth. he will give excuse like, i scare i hurt the baby, i dunno how to do this do that.
I will tell him this is also my first time, y i can learn n u cannot.
but i realise by saying all this it doesnt help.
BUT when our girl is older n she start calling papa n respond n noiw jus started walking. Things changed.
He started helping out w/o mi asking.. I think tts man. Not all but some. when they see baby grow up n can start to interact they will auto help out, no matter how tired.
now im pregnant with 2nd baby n im mentally prepared that he will not help out with the newborn but i know at least now he will help out abit here n there for our girl.
stay happy n watch ur baby grow...
they really grow v v fast....

 

[MsKoh1973]

my husband work rotating shifts, 7 to 3, 3 to 11, 11 to 7, every 3 days, rest one day and change shift.

when i first give birth, nobody help me, tho my parents in law came from msia, but they came to cause more harm than help. In the end, I nearly got depression.

Even now my husband still work shift, he always complaint of tire, no time to entertain me. He need to work, even on weekends and PH, cos the shifts are rotating, best part is, he cannot take urgent leave, his leave have to take one month in advance so that they can do duty roaster.

But i got use to it liao. When he doing morning shift, he come fetch me, we can have more time together. Of cos we do quarrel, but is more becos of his stupid sister staying at our house creating trouble than becos of ourself.....

So you have to learn to take the best out of the worst............like I always treat my SIL as my child from previous life, I need to love her since I am her mother

 

[sg81hani]

Thanks for the advice. We did have a chat about it and me being the emotional one is always in tears while explaining. I guess he's new to the parenting role and like some of you said, men will help when the kid is bigger.

 

[MsKoh1973]

tho u may not be able to see him often, but u can still do little things to remind him your present

like if my husband work nite shift, sometimes around 12 midnight, I will sms him, I love him, does he feel lonely tonite....I feel lonely cos he not around tat kind of things........kekekkekkeke..........

good things is, if I need to go medical checkup or what, if he wk afternn shift or nite shift, tho tire, he will still go w me.

 

[sherz4628]

Hi,
I can say guys r more visual person.
like my hubby he didnt help alot when i gave birth. he will give excuse like, i scare i hurt the baby, i dont know how to do this do that.
I will tell him this is also my first time, y i can learn n you cannot.
but i realise by saying all this it doesnt help.
BUT when our girl is older n she start calling papa n respond n noiw just started walking. Things changed.
He started helping out w/o mi asking.. I think tts man. Not all but some. when they see baby grow up n can start to interact they will auto help out, no matter how tired.
now im pregnant with 2nd baby n im mentally prepared that he will not help out with the newborn but i know at least now he will help out abit here n there for our girl.
stay happy n watch your baby grow...
they really grow very very fast....

OMG! Totally sound like my hubby! Ask him feed milk he say dunno how to burp her after that, ask him carry her he say scared hurt her, ask him change diaper he say he dunno how to apply all the diaper creams and stuff..all sorts of excuse mAn! I certainly hope he'll help out in future like ur hubby! Now baby only 3 months old..

AND..he work shifts too.. One week only one day off..when he come home baby slping, when baby wake up he still slping, then when he wake up need go work le..so equals to one week only see one day..sigh..

 

[sg81hani]

OMG! Totally sound like my hubby! Ask him feed milk he say dont know how to burp her after that, ask him carry her he say scared hurt her, ask him change diaper he say he dont know how to apply all the diaper creams and stuff..all sorts of excuse mAn! I certainly hope he'll help out in future like your hubby! Now baby only 3 months old..

AND..he work shifts too.. One week only one day off..when he come home baby sleeping, when baby wake up he still sleeping, then when he wake up need go work ..so equals to one week only see one day..sigh..

Our babies are the same age :001_302: . Anyway, recently on his off day, I forced him to spend time with my girl, and barred him from meeting up with his friends. I think my daughter missed him, and they were enjoying baby talk with each other. Since that day, he comes home early if he can and straight away sees my girl. Quite happy with the change.

 

[sherz4628]

Our babies are the same age :001_302: . Anyway, recently on his off day, I forced him to spend time with my girl, and barred him from meeting up with his friends. I think my daughter missed him, and they were enjoying baby talk with each other. Since that day, he comes home early if he can and straight away sees my girl. Quite happy with the change.

My hubby can b a considered a family man as in he seldom go out with frenz n prefer to stay at home. However, he would b doin his own things n not spendin time with daughter. There are even times tt he 'forgot' abt her n suggest we go out in the middle of the night! I had to remind him tt there's no one to take care of her n he's like ya hoh.. I don't mind him not havin time for me but scared daughter wun recognise him as her father with the little time they spend together..