I just delivered my baby two mths ago, its the first grandson in my hubby family. My mil moved in w us to take care bb. My mil kept talking non stop n kept repeating same thing over n over again. I really cannot tahan n hide in my rm w my bb. But she is too noisy outside n kept waking up my bb from his slp. She is aso v protective of my bb also, i wana change cloth for my bb myself she aso want to do. I wana coax my bb to slp she carried my bb away, i was so frustrated then i let her be. Her actions make me feel like an useless mum. I nearly threw my temper but i tolerate. So confusing, i appreciate her help yet make me hate her sometimes. Guess i got to tolerate till she move out. So do u feel unhappy too w mil ard? I really need a place to vent my frustration so i can cool down.
Cant stand my mil, do u?
- Thread starter yann13
- Start date
hi....
i delivered in march...n now my baby is 5 mths old...when i got pregnant, i already cant tahan my mil..she keep asking me to eat & eat n keep saying my baby in tummy is hungry... but i know i am not hungry...just imagine, u r being forced n told to eat every 2 hr..do u find it irritating? after i gave birth, i move to my own plc, during the 1 mth, i feel at ease and relax. but since i am stayg with my in laws since i got married, my mil only gv a provision of a mth at my own plc. so after a mth, i am baq to my in laws plc. i was 75% bf my baby and the same thing happen, every 2 hrs, askin me to eat..saying if i dun eat, i wont have milk?!...but how to eat when u r oready full n not hungry? i find it very stressful...for tat period of time, eating was a stressful chore!
to escape from all those, i always hide in my room with my baby, n since i bf, i juz stay in the room n bf only...hahhaha...no nd to go out to make milk. but ocassionally she wil cm in to my room to ask me to eat too... haiz.. when i was about to go baq to wrk, my little baby do not wan fm at all, only want my milk. i had a hard time forcing fm to him n my mil says , ' c ah, last time always gv him ur milk, now dun wan fm anymore'. after a while he got used to fm n now he dun wan my milk anymore, n my mil says again, ' c lah, last time u always dun wan to gv him ur milk, now he dun wan ur milk anymore, u kp stopping him frm drinking ur milk' n now it all back to my fault...its the mummy fault...i feel very sad hearin tat... i was depressed when my baby reject my milk already n to make it wrst, she say like tat to me.....
niway, i getting immuned to it nowadays...i juz ignored all her words or her suggestions, she even say to hubby, ' ur wife is so stubborn' . but he is my son, i hv the rite to bring him up my own way n furthermore, i feel tat the oldies way of bringing up the children is kind of weird n worrying. like eg : feed the baby wit lotsa of milk, so they wont cry always. but baby cry smtimes not becoz of hunger but mayb they seek our attention...
i delivered in march...n now my baby is 5 mths old...when i got pregnant, i already cant tahan my mil..she keep asking me to eat & eat n keep saying my baby in tummy is hungry... but i know i am not hungry...just imagine, u r being forced n told to eat every 2 hr..do u find it irritating? after i gave birth, i move to my own plc, during the 1 mth, i feel at ease and relax. but since i am stayg with my in laws since i got married, my mil only gv a provision of a mth at my own plc. so after a mth, i am baq to my in laws plc. i was 75% bf my baby and the same thing happen, every 2 hrs, askin me to eat..saying if i dun eat, i wont have milk?!...but how to eat when u r oready full n not hungry? i find it very stressful...for tat period of time, eating was a stressful chore!
to escape from all those, i always hide in my room with my baby, n since i bf, i juz stay in the room n bf only...hahhaha...no nd to go out to make milk. but ocassionally she wil cm in to my room to ask me to eat too... haiz.. when i was about to go baq to wrk, my little baby do not wan fm at all, only want my milk. i had a hard time forcing fm to him n my mil says , ' c ah, last time always gv him ur milk, now dun wan fm anymore'. after a while he got used to fm n now he dun wan my milk anymore, n my mil says again, ' c lah, last time u always dun wan to gv him ur milk, now he dun wan ur milk anymore, u kp stopping him frm drinking ur milk' n now it all back to my fault...its the mummy fault...i feel very sad hearin tat... i was depressed when my baby reject my milk already n to make it wrst, she say like tat to me.....
niway, i getting immuned to it nowadays...i juz ignored all her words or her suggestions, she even say to hubby, ' ur wife is so stubborn' . but he is my son, i hv the rite to bring him up my own way n furthermore, i feel tat the oldies way of bringing up the children is kind of weird n worrying. like eg : feed the baby wit lotsa of milk, so they wont cry always. but baby cry smtimes not becoz of hunger but mayb they seek our attention...
True! My situAtion is about the same as u. Its like everytime is mummy fault. But its mil who sugguested it. I got so confused by her at times lo. Then that time i just discharged, dun have much milk. She kept saying give fm give fm bb so hungry n mummy dun have milk. I was so depress by her lo, make me feel im an useless mum. My hubby insist bf n ask me to continue dun give up sure have milk n told me to ignore his mum. Finally my flow came. Nw mil diamdiam. Ya i agreed w u on the oldie thinking, they tot bb cry is hungry. Everytime ask me to feed till i so pekchek. But i dun wan tell her cos she will nvr listen to me. Now i noe that some mum gt depression is mayb cause by mil instead. I got so many things to vent out leh.. So much to say. Thanks for sharing w me !
vent out if not u suffer depression...i sometimes cry by myself..n when my baby cry n cry non stop n id un noe wat to do n my mil gv me weird suggestion, i feel like juz put my baby on e bed n run away last time...now lookin back, i must b crazy to leave my baby n run away...lookin at how cute n adorable he is...
my son bedtime is roughly bout 730pm n he likes to cry during tat time to fall asleep..mayb tat his way of telling tat he wan to slp and he basically cry out loud n no matter hw u rock n sayang2 him, he juz cry til e got tired himself n fall asleep... i got used to it but i cant tahan when my mil say, a ' pontianak' follow my son tat y he always cry when dusk break in.....n i will tel her, ' there nothg wrong with my son! n make matter wrst, my hubby side with his parents...i was basically struggling alone tryg to make my hubby understand tat there notg wrong with my baby.
n coz of this stupid 'pontianak' thingy, my mil went to the medium to get water. n came hm n tel me to put tat water in his milk! imagine, tat water source dunno frm where, cook or uncook water...i juz bf my baby..no fm at all.. n my hubby even wan to put tat water in my baby milk n i scream at him! tat water source is dubious, wat happen if my baby hv a tummyache?! n i thrw tat water away!
c hor hw stubborn am i?! hehehe...nowadays, i limit my baby playtime with my mil, mayb i stil upset by her remarks n mayb i stil pissed off, till now, she stil force me to eat even when i not hungry...but i juz ignored..hehehehe.....
my son bedtime is roughly bout 730pm n he likes to cry during tat time to fall asleep..mayb tat his way of telling tat he wan to slp and he basically cry out loud n no matter hw u rock n sayang2 him, he juz cry til e got tired himself n fall asleep... i got used to it but i cant tahan when my mil say, a ' pontianak' follow my son tat y he always cry when dusk break in.....n i will tel her, ' there nothg wrong with my son! n make matter wrst, my hubby side with his parents...i was basically struggling alone tryg to make my hubby understand tat there notg wrong with my baby.
n coz of this stupid 'pontianak' thingy, my mil went to the medium to get water. n came hm n tel me to put tat water in his milk! imagine, tat water source dunno frm where, cook or uncook water...i juz bf my baby..no fm at all.. n my hubby even wan to put tat water in my baby milk n i scream at him! tat water source is dubious, wat happen if my baby hv a tummyache?! n i thrw tat water away!
c hor hw stubborn am i?! hehehe...nowadays, i limit my baby playtime with my mil, mayb i stil upset by her remarks n mayb i stil pissed off, till now, she stil force me to eat even when i not hungry...but i juz ignored..hehehehe.....
I'm staying with my in laws and know how you feel as that was what happened in the earlier months, it made me feel very useless. The moment she whimper, she will be out of my hands already. But luckily hubby stood up for me by saying that "if you don't let her learn then how will she know?" when he talked to his mom, she agreed to that but she says sometimes still can't help herself.
Sometimes he would brush them off by saying that we will handle it. After a while, I also learn his method, and brush them off by saying "It's ok, I'll handle it", carry her and go back to the room. Sometimes if I feel that they might barge in, I'll purposely lock the door, and ignore their knocks (if she's not sleeping). And if they get too noisy outside the room, I will go out and tell them to quieten down, that baby is asleep. It's ok to stand up for yourself and the baby
My mil is also staying with me to take care of baby. I, too, faced alot of problems with my mil. During the confinement period, she also like the other mil out there, keep forcing me to eat more, eat more, eat more... Really can't stand it (full already how to eat more!) Its always the same issue during dinner time...
My baby sometimes took a long time to finish her milk n if it happens that she was the 1 feeding her, she will always say its because of the bottle teat that i bought, no good... Theirs (referring to my sis-in-law) very good, buy that. If i'm feeding baby, she will says why drink so slow...
I don't know if she ever complaints to my hubby about me but my guts instinct tells me that she did! I also complaints to my hubby about her. Really can't stand.
Most of the time i will "hide" in my rm with my baby because i really dun wish to talk to her coz and have nothing to talk to her. For this, she also complaints to hubby, saying not gd for baby to stay in the rm so long, so dark! I usually prefer to keep the window bind down because i find it too glaring for baby to take her nap.
She also like to compare the things i buy wif my sis-in-law which really irritates me. She even comment on the way i told her on how to handle baby but i have to coz different mummy has her own preference of how she wants others to handle her baby. Stop comparing me with my sis-in-law.
My hubby always tells me to ignore her comment but i simply can't!
There are simply too many things which i can't stand my mil. These are just a few which i really must share coz i'm feeling so awful n unhappy n down. :wemad:
My baby sometimes took a long time to finish her milk n if it happens that she was the 1 feeding her, she will always say its because of the bottle teat that i bought, no good... Theirs (referring to my sis-in-law) very good, buy that. If i'm feeding baby, she will says why drink so slow...
I don't know if she ever complaints to my hubby about me but my guts instinct tells me that she did! I also complaints to my hubby about her. Really can't stand.
Most of the time i will "hide" in my rm with my baby because i really dun wish to talk to her coz and have nothing to talk to her. For this, she also complaints to hubby, saying not gd for baby to stay in the rm so long, so dark! I usually prefer to keep the window bind down because i find it too glaring for baby to take her nap.
She also like to compare the things i buy wif my sis-in-law which really irritates me. She even comment on the way i told her on how to handle baby but i have to coz different mummy has her own preference of how she wants others to handle her baby. Stop comparing me with my sis-in-law.
My hubby always tells me to ignore her comment but i simply can't!
There are simply too many things which i can't stand my mil. These are just a few which i really must share coz i'm feeling so awful n unhappy n down. :wemad:
pillowhugger01
Member
Happened to me too haha..
ancing_wub::001_302:Sounds like most mil are monsters.. Mine too! To the point I asked her to get out and had told husband if she move in to the new house with us, I'm moving out with my first son and my 2nd one in my tummy.
I think as a dil, there's a certain limit we can take. Limit exceed, u can't take it means u can't. When 2 person can't stay peacefully in the house, no point having husband to force u to stay with his mum. Ever since she moved in with us, I was never happy once. The pressure she gives and interfering into every baby things, makes u irritated.
My mil in basically someone who controls people. Anyway, speaki to ur husband ia good! Or show some action. I ran away with my son for a week. Talking doesn't show him my depress. So I ran away. He's scared! And had agrees to not let his mum move when we move. She has a house to stay anyway. It's not we moved and she has no place to stay.
Sometimes u have to be the bad person to make urself happy. Being nice and accommodate her, u are the one sufferring. With the depression coming in, u are going to tear ur family apart one day.
I think as a dil, there's a certain limit we can take. Limit exceed, u can't take it means u can't. When 2 person can't stay peacefully in the house, no point having husband to force u to stay with his mum. Ever since she moved in with us, I was never happy once. The pressure she gives and interfering into every baby things, makes u irritated.
My mil in basically someone who controls people. Anyway, speaki to ur husband ia good! Or show some action. I ran away with my son for a week. Talking doesn't show him my depress. So I ran away. He's scared! And had agrees to not let his mum move when we move. She has a house to stay anyway. It's not we moved and she has no place to stay.
Sometimes u have to be the bad person to make urself happy. Being nice and accommodate her, u are the one sufferring. With the depression coming in, u are going to tear ur family apart one day.
There is really alot of issues w mil. Everything is well without the baby. Ya my mil aso kept comparing the stuff she bought to mine. Like everything she bought is better n useful than mine. Make me so piss off. Ytd i was agitated again during baby bathing time. Till now i have not even bath my baby cos she do not trust us to bath him. I am still an assistant helping her. She ask me to splash water n rub baby right armpit so i rub, then immediately she v gan jiong n ask me to rub left side so i quickly rub. Then she say aiyo right side rub so fast ,still nt clean yet n she rub herself. So angry loh cos she is the v gan jiong type if i dun do fast she will say. And now if i do what she say, she still have things to comment.
Ya coly, me too always hide in rm w baby, its nt that i dont want to go out have fresh air, its because i just dun wan to face her. So sad.. Going to start work in sep, i sure will miss my baby but i think i also need a break frm her.
Ya coly, me too always hide in rm w baby, its nt that i dont want to go out have fresh air, its because i just dun wan to face her. So sad.. Going to start work in sep, i sure will miss my baby but i think i also need a break frm her.
ever since i experience myself living with my mil n hear my other frens stories too, i told my hubby... when i grw old n my kids got married, i would tell them to move out n get their own hse so there wont b conflicts in the hse between my n my future daughter in laws...hahaha...
during tat time too, i also cant wait to start work coz i need a break from her but at the same time, i wan to b wit my baby. so most of the time, i am out with my baby to my aunt plc hse...dun like to stay at hm with baby n w/o my husband.
and when i was preggy, i didnt wan to go for my maternity leave early..i waited till e day before my edd n go on leave. the same reason was i do not wan to stay at hm n bein forced to eat.... n basically i cant shut myself in my room til my hubby cm hm frm wrk...ple were saying, ' arent u tired of wrking?' but i find more peace at wrk than stayg at hm confined in my rm facing my mil repeatgly ask to eat....heheheh....
during tat time too, i also cant wait to start work coz i need a break from her but at the same time, i wan to b wit my baby. so most of the time, i am out with my baby to my aunt plc hse...dun like to stay at hm with baby n w/o my husband.
and when i was preggy, i didnt wan to go for my maternity leave early..i waited till e day before my edd n go on leave. the same reason was i do not wan to stay at hm n bein forced to eat.... n basically i cant shut myself in my room til my hubby cm hm frm wrk...ple were saying, ' arent u tired of wrking?' but i find more peace at wrk than stayg at hm confined in my rm facing my mil repeatgly ask to eat....heheheh....
For me, i'm the gan jiong type. There was this once when the baby was crying loudly for milk and my mil is still dressing baby slowly (just after baby bath)
Nutela, at least you still have ur aunt place to go. Before going on maternity leave, its always Monday blues. Despite on maternity leave now, still have Monday blues coz hubby will be working. It will be me and baby at home wif mil again!
Ya Ya but this is understandable. I see my baby screaming for milk , im so heartpain loh cos whole face turn red. But ur mil so steady, can stand the crying. Tat point of time u sure damn frustrated.
hide in the room n bf ur baby only...tat wat i do when i stil on ml...nvr do his milk...juz bf him only...let him latch on me.. n i always say, ' oh, baby wan milk,' 'oh, baby wan to slp'....hehehe
chantal yeong
Member
I guess cause my mil is a young granny too, so things was much easier. She took care of me better than my mum does, I treat her like she is my mum, altot I heard her say once DIL is different from daughter when others tell her DIL is oso ur daughter wad abit sad to hear tat. The only disagreement hubby and me have with mil is that she wan us to shave off our baby's hair but we refused too and she kept sayign next time baby grow up cannot go in temple. But hubby and me will tell her don't worry cause baby will go church not temple haha... previously when baby was 1mth plus old she will sometime tell baby "see lar baby ur mummy stupid one" at first a bit hurt to hear that but as time goes by I don take it to heart.
wahh..becos i read all these.. i always try to avoid. and i dont even give her any chance to. I am going to due this Dec. and i ask my mum to do my confinement for me then my mum say i have to seek my mil permission!. So instead of asking her if she want to help for the confinement.. i told her i thinking to ask my mum, do you think is okay. then she say as long as it convi.. as my mum is also working (but my family do our own biz..time and helper can be allocated). Actually she is also working.. plus she doesnt really like babies so i have less to worry. After we got married..i move in to stay together but move out a few months later when we got our new flat keys. my hb and me usually stay out late and come home pass 9..weekend pass 2am.. so i dun get to see her so much. So now i only visit her on sunday. generally ..she is nice lah..she is not nasty. Actually i pity her.. i think my sil n my hubby sometime talk to her very rudely. They gave her little respect. So i try to be nice to her so that i think she will also be nice and appreciate me.. learn to trust me.. in turn i hope she will treat me like her own rather than see me as just a daugher in law lor.
cablecar1999
Member
same here...
Asking my MIL to do confinement is my biggest regret, can nag n talking for 24hrs like 7-11.
wan to rest is even more difficult. Now i rather handle myself, no matter how tired i am. At least, i can rest while BB is sleeping.
She can oso squeeze 5hrs nag to 3hrs nag.
The piss off me is BF, oso wanna complain.
Feed with botlle, oso wanna tok n tok.
Everything does not go well wif her......
Luckily, she alr move back to her hse.... woothoot.
Asking my MIL to do confinement is my biggest regret, can nag n talking for 24hrs like 7-11.
wan to rest is even more difficult. Now i rather handle myself, no matter how tired i am. At least, i can rest while BB is sleeping.
She can oso squeeze 5hrs nag to 3hrs nag.
The piss off me is BF, oso wanna complain.
Feed with botlle, oso wanna tok n tok.
Everything does not go well wif her......
Luckily, she alr move back to her hse.... woothoot.