Comments from SIL

[vion]

:nah:Last Sat, my SIL gv me a pc of her mind (again, yes again cos it happened b4) abt how I shld educate my dd abt wat to eat during recess time.

Well, my older dd (P2) had told tis SIL of mine tt for the 1st few days of tis new sch yr, she oni had fishball soup during her recess time. DD oso told SIL tt it was bcos she's afraid tt she'll hv not enuff time to finish eating (which is y she dun go for noodles or rice).

SIL's comment was "cannot like tt, u shld tell her tt it's alright even if she can't finish her food, u shld tell her tt she shld buy noodles or rice cos fishball soup is not enuff de ma, she said by the time u go fetch her from sch, she oredi going to faint cos of hunger.......":err:

I tried to tell SIL tt I've told dd many times to buy wat she wanna eat n highlight to her tt she shld buy noodles or rice if she's feeling hungry. But SIL continued with her comments with the "u r not taking gd care of ur dd" tone.

The thg is when dd is in sch, it's really beyond my means of restricting wat she wanna hv for recess, rite???

Well, I appreciate tt SIL is concerned abt dd but the way she put things across is like I'm a failure. :err:

The other time when dd told tis SIL abt an incident whereby dd dropped her watermelon at the sch tuckshop, a janitor saw it n gv her a 20cents telling her to get a new one. Tis janitor oso told dd tt she need not return the 20cents to him.

I appreciated tt SIL told me abt tis incident cos dd din tell me abt it. However, after telling me the whole incident she went on to say "I very angry leh, bcos hor ur dd always tell me everything but never tell u leh, u muz tell her tt she muz tell u everything de ma":bmad:

I was angry when SIL said tt. But I din show my anger. Instead I told her tt maybe dd had forgotten to tell me abt it cos dun expect her to come bk home n report on everything ma. N so happened tt dd remembered tt day thus mentioned it to SIL.

I am very certained tt if tis "not buying noodles or rice" thg happened on her dd, she'll juz brushed it off with "she's like tt de la, wat u wan me to do?"

:wefrown: :wefrown: :wefrown:

 

[yuki]

my son also didn eat much during... recess when he was p1...eithe buy 3 nuggets or fish ball...or 3 min choco tart.......he 's that kind that scared to try out new food.......sometime i let him bring bread to sch....9but i did when to his tuckshop b4...the queues ar long ...by the time they got their food perhap 10mins are gone...left anothr 10mins to finish up...so really not so much time to eat le...if she is a slow eater....
but when he turn p3..he bot curry rice, porridge.......leave it to them la. as they grow older they will realise they need more food........u just need to make sure they eat well at BF before sch..this is what i concern more....mayb u can jus pack her some light meals for her recess....

 

[jedamum]

just shrug it off lor. you can reassured your dd again on not being able to finish her food is alright. some kids don't like to waste food. btw..my dh used to eat fried beehoon in his primary school for 1 whole year.
i think it is better that your dd can confide in your SIL rather than keep everything to herself.
some people may just have the correct intentions, but dunno how to put it across nicely. Your SIL may just be this type of people.

 

[vion]

just shrug it off lor. you can reassured your dd again on not being able to finish her food is alright. some kids don't like to waste food. btw..my dh used to eat fried beehoon in his primary school for 1 whole year.
i think it is better that your dd can confide in your SIL rather than keep everything to herself.
some people may just have the correct intentions, but dunno how to put it across nicely. Your SIL may just be this type of people.

Actually I dun really mind tt dd tells SIL thgs, cos like I hv said maybe she 4got to tell me n sometimes there's certain need to kn these thgs. But the thg is tt SIL always like to say thgs to mk me look like an incompetent mother.

As I dun cook everyday as a SAHM, she actually asked me to 'fan xin, fan xin' meaning I shld be remorseful cos I dun cook often. N if my dds r coughing n I forbid them to eat choc or sweets, she'll still gv them anyway telling me like tt they very 'ke lian'. She likes to interfere with my way of disciplinary acts while she can tell my dh tt 'her own dds, she'll teach herself, dun need ppl to teach for her'

 

[spottycow]

Poor Vion. I could totally understand how u feel. Coz my SIL also like that. She always like to find fault with me and try to pinpoint to me the fault in front of everyone. So that she could embarrass me. Depends on my mood, I would either ignore it or I would say something back. Lucky for me, I only c her once or twice a month.

DD used to be chubby when she was younger. And everytime SIL sees us, she would pass a comment that she is getting skinner n skinner. Of course wat, she is loosing her bb fat...duh. U know...she would definitely say something when we see her.

Vion...let me give u a BIG HUG. Love it or hate it, they r family. Just listen in one ear n out the other. :001_302:

 

[rjj]

Actually I dun really mind tt dd tells SIL thgs, cos like I hv said maybe she 4got to tell me n sometimes there's certain need to kn these thgs. But the thg is tt SIL always like to say thgs to mk me look like an incompetent mother.

As I dun cook everyday as a SAHM, she actually asked me to 'fan xin, fan xin' meaning I shld be remorseful cos I dun cook often. N if my dds r coughing n I forbid them to eat choc or sweets, she'll still gv them anyway telling me like tt they very 'ke lian'. She likes to interfere with my way of disciplinary acts while she can tell my dh tt 'her own dds, she'll teach herself, dun need ppl to teach for her'

You simply just hate all these dun you??? Well, I dun hv SIL, so I dun hv such prob. But my hb do hv cousins that are very close... so everytime when there is a family gathering, I simply hates it too.... this cousin of his will come and say... wow you sons nvr call me leh, ask him to call, he just walk away leh, etc etc etc.....

Her boy also nvr call me once (at least my boys will if i force them). Initially, I'll make my boys call her, after a few years, I got sick. I just smile at her. After that 1 year, I told myself, if she do it again, I m gg to tell her that her boy oso NEVER call me... and I m consider 'older' than her.... Guess what??? That year, my boys called everyone, and she came to tell me she gg to strike 4D cos my boy called her automatically.... and i wish her good luck... anyway, after dat i told myself, my boys are God's gifts. I'll accept them as they are, I dun bother what other ppl say. As long as I lead them the way God wants me to, I've fulfil my job as a mother.... the rest are not impt anymore.....

Hope this helps... all the best.... take great care!!!!

 

[priscilla]

I can understand your frustration. I also have a SIL who does that to make herself look more superior or a more competent mother but the fact is that according to her own mum who helps to take care of her children that her children are very naughty and misbehave when she is at work and since she returned late from work and hardly spend time with them and weekend, she fills them up with lots of enrichment lessons which free her of her time to care for them so they do not misbehave in front of her but she will find faults with me and ds that at times, I feel like telling her that she should try to be a SAHM for at least a year then she can understand what we are going through. In fact, I find that working does not give me as much stress as being a SAHM.

So don't take it to heart, as long as you have done your best for your dds and that you are bringing them up in the right way, do not be disheartened by all those heartless and stupid comments. Maybe you should tell dds to let you know if they need help or ask them what happen in school daily to shut up your SIL's big mum. My dh always told me that she is like that, just ignored her so I will listen using one ear and then the comments will be out the other ear. I learnt to reject negative comments which is not edifying to my soul and since her comments are always negative, I just could not bother with her.

And leaving aboard is so much better for my family as we do not get all these nonsensical comments and we discipline and bring up our boy according to the biblical way.

 

[tommyBoi]

SIL's comment was "cannot like tt, u shld tell her tt it's alright even if she can't finish her food, u shld tell her tt she shld buy noodles or rice cos fishball soup is not enuff de ma, she said by the time u go fetch her from sch, she oredi going to faint cos of hunger.......":err:

vion, ur SIL is trying to show that she is better than u la, which in fact she is nt. Just quote one above example, she is encouraging the kids to waste food. This is difinitely nt the correct way of teaching a kid, and i believe most parents dont do that, except her.

My son also dont eat much during recess. Recess is nt a full meal but just only a tea break for the kids. Dont bother abt her, trust ur own way of bringing up ur kids.

Cheers!!

 

[JenLee98]

Vion, no need to get angry or upset with her. Just short and sweet, tell her 'don't worry, I can handle my kids' or 'I know what to do'. :tlaugh:

 

[xiaodaisy]

dear ... for mi i just tell her ..

''thax for concern hor but its my DD i know wat to do myself... ''

if she still keep nagging n nagging

"my DD or ur DD why u kpo so much, so much time den care more for ur own kids"

HAHAHA , den also will ask DD not to tell her so much loh... =)

 

[Mrs Xie]

My SIL would always wanna do surface acts to prove to her parents that " Daughter is always better than Daughter-in-Law." :nah: