Coping with Mental well-being of our child

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JannLow

New Member
Hi. I'm contemplating a separation. But my biggest hesitant is, will my girl ever blame or forgive me for choosing to leave her daddy. Her daddy has betrayed me 3 times, before, during n after pregnancy. Every time I confront him, the turn the tables on me, and made it all my fault. His parents gives me emotional n mental pressures during n after pregnancy, even until now. I always have to watch what I say, in case IF they ever think that my words doesn't sound good to them, they will "cry n feedback" to my husband that I'm a bad daughter in law. In short, I cannot be myself anymore. I dont't have my freedom & rights anymore. I have to live by his family's rights.

My girl is 3yo. She super close to me, not close with daddy. On a typical weekend, you imagine, you can always find me shuttling between playing happily with my girl in the living room, kitchen, laundry and housework. Her daddy will be sitting in front of his computer with headphones on. Or even if I have to ask him to babysit her while I shower, he would sit on the sofa with eyes fixed on the tv, and she will be playing on the floor in front of him. YET, he puts the blame on me that his daughter is not close to him.

There's so much to narrate about the problems n stresses that he n his family has given me, but I dont't wanna bore everyone on it.

I just wish some mummies would share with me how you cope when your child ask for his/her daddy? Or if some single mummies have been single for a period of time, how do you cope when your child goes to school? Do they get upset with you because they dont't have a daddy? Do they blame you for leaving daddy? Do they get mocked in school for being daddy-less?

I can put up with any hardships that may come, but I cannot take take it if my girl ever hates me IF I leave her daddy.

Btw, I'm a full time working mother, and currently I have single handedly planned my girl's life, which includes her daily routines, playtime, school, feeding n grooming her, basically bringing her up without his help.

Please advise.
 
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Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
i believe as long as u do not neglect your girl, she will understand when she grows up.. also, a child is very smart, they know who treats them well, who doesnt treat them good. since ur husb has not been taking care of her, im sure she wont feel much pain when u 2 seperate. my girl was w/o a daddy since she was 3-4 mths old, and even tho she has been in CC n without a daddy til she was 2 yo+, no one ever mocked her or anything. she received love from my parents n siblings and everyone doted on her alot, so she didnt hv any issues.
 
H

huihui32

Member
this is a very hard ans to reply to kid, i also somehow not sure how to reply to my both sons this question, specially my elder son. he know his father . but his father never sleep with him or stay with him since 3 year back. when he ask me i will just tell him daddy is working .( cos they are too young to understand what is the real ans of y daddy left us and y mummy divoice with daddy ./ and till now his mind set is my daddy is working and never come home wan. and slowly he also hardly ask , me and my family dote him alot alot.
his child care also did know some issue about his daddy. and the teacher will aware of it. like class lesson like when they have to bring family pic to school to intro to their class mate all that. all pic is with out daddy wan. no one ever mocked . but i not sure when he enter to pri school life. but i do believe that kid are smart now a days. there is one day his classmate as some thing about daddy . but my son straigth reply to his classmate that i do not have daddy.
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
thru out the time she was w/o a daddy, nope she didnt ask. maybe its also bcos she received fatherly love from my dad. i met my current hubby when my girl was arnd 2 plus and since then he has became a fatherly figure to her n now he is her daddy. =)
 
B

busygal

New Member
JannLow said:
Hi. I'm contemplating a separation. But my biggest hesitant is, will my girl ever blame or forgive me for choosing to leave her daddy. Her daddy has betrayed me 3 times, before, during n after pregnancy. Every time I confront him, the turn the tables on me, and made it all my fault. His parents gives me emotional n mental pressures during n after pregnancy, even until now. I always have to watch what I say, in case IF they ever think that my words doesn't sound good to them, they will "cry n feedback" to my husband that I'm a bad daughter in law. In short, I cannot be myself anymore. I dont't have my freedom & rights anymore. I have to live by his family's rights.

My girl is 3yo. She super close to me, not close with daddy. On a typical weekend, you imagine, you can always find me shuttling between playing happily with my girl in the living room, kitchen, laundry and housework. Her daddy will be sitting in front of his computer with headphones on. Or even if I have to ask him to babysit her while I shower, he would sit on the sofa with eyes fixed on the tv, and she will be playing on the floor in front of him. YET, he puts the blame on me that his daughter is not close to him.

There's so much to narrate about the problems n stresses that he n his family has given me, but I dont't wanna bore everyone on it.

I just wish some mummies would share with me how you cope when your child ask for his/her daddy? Or if some single mummies have been single for a period of time, how do you cope when your child goes to school? Do they get upset with you because they dont't have a daddy? Do they blame you for leaving daddy? Do they get mocked in school for being daddy-less?

I can put up with any hardships that may come, but I cannot take take it if my girl ever hates me IF I leave her daddy.

Btw, I'm a full time working mother, and currently I have single handedly planned my girl's life, which includes her daily routines, playtime, school, feeding n grooming her, basically bringing her up without his help.

Please advise.
Click to expand...
Take enough evidence to substantiate your actions but leave rooms for father and daughter relations. don't think too much when you suffer so long as victim
 
I

IcyTaz

Member
i also think about this question since the birth of my son. till now still not divorce as married not 3 years yet. my son now 2 plus. he also grows without daddy with him but daddy did once in a while bring him out. my son didn't even know what daddy stands for. when i hear him calling my friend husband daddy i feel the pain. he saw my friend daughter call him daddy so he follow the suit. i'm also a weakling dont really dare to tell him, i don know what i should say. my marriage coming 3yrs next yr jan. i think i have to mentally prepare myself and things or words that he'll have to face in future. btw my son is in cc so i just inform the teachers that i seperated from my hubby and he cannot fetch the baby. maybe my son still young so he don't understand yet. i also scare he will be unbalanced but like what ting says my family loves him so does my siblings.
 
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baby_sadako87

Member
am separated from my hubby when DS was 2yrs 8mths. now she's 3yrs+ & it seemed that she knew what's "daddy" & she knew that her dad abandoned her. sad to hear that but it's the fact right? sometimes she will suddenly said to me daddy didnt love & want her anymore but she got the love from her uncle & grandmum so it balanced out. apparently, i realised kids from single family tends to be more matured. actually the question of, 'will she blame me in future etc' came across my mind but now, worry-free...
 
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IcyTaz

Member
I super scare. My boy recently very rebellious seriously don't know issit single family children tend to be more naughty.
 
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