dO u agree with your partner's disciplinary method?
- Thread starter CanCanMum
- Start date
meiteoh
Well-Known Member
I would like to share an observation I made when I was dating my ex. It is a prime example of how disagreements between husband and wife can led to more than just issues with your child but also disharmony between a married couple.
My ex's father and mother often don't see eye-to-eye on a number of stuff regarding their children. His mother is more of the traditional type whereby "one has to do things right the first time otherwise don't bother doing it" and the "work hard for it" while his dad is more...lenient per se. Their family is a little dysfunctional in the sense that the father is the one who does most of the housechores and cooking whereas the mother just lazes around.
SOOOOOO...there was one time I was on the phone with my ex, chatting when I overhead a fight going on between mother and daugther. Apparently, the daughter (my ex's sis) screwed up their shop accounts and the mother obviously (and naturally) was not very happy about it and scolded her. She immediately screamed for her father stating that her mother was being unfair and should have given the task to someone who was better at math. Now instead of sticking up for his wife in front of their children, he actually scolded her!!!!
When I asked my ex about this, he said it's normal. His father will side and spoil his sister no matter what, leaving him feeling sorry so he'll side with his mother. Sometimes, he tells me, it's like a battle zone in his house. This was in 2002. Then last year, my ex contacted me asking if I knew any marriage counsellors. Apparently, his mother had enough of his dad's and sis's crap and wanted a divorce. She was tired of his sis' constant attitude towards life - she's only interested in studying, doesn't like working, doesn't want to work, expects the parents to foot her living expenses and education plus airfare in Canada, etc.
When I brought this up to my parents, this is what my dad said:
"I will never take your side even though you're my daughter. I will always side your mother because she comes first. And that is my duty as a husband, to support and protect her...even if it's from her own child."
And he then reminded me that if any disagreement occurs between hubby and wife, it should be discussed in private and never in public or in front of other people. This is to save face and maintain the harmony between hubby and wife.
My ex's father and mother often don't see eye-to-eye on a number of stuff regarding their children. His mother is more of the traditional type whereby "one has to do things right the first time otherwise don't bother doing it" and the "work hard for it" while his dad is more...lenient per se. Their family is a little dysfunctional in the sense that the father is the one who does most of the housechores and cooking whereas the mother just lazes around.
SOOOOOO...there was one time I was on the phone with my ex, chatting when I overhead a fight going on between mother and daugther. Apparently, the daughter (my ex's sis) screwed up their shop accounts and the mother obviously (and naturally) was not very happy about it and scolded her. She immediately screamed for her father stating that her mother was being unfair and should have given the task to someone who was better at math. Now instead of sticking up for his wife in front of their children, he actually scolded her!!!!
When I asked my ex about this, he said it's normal. His father will side and spoil his sister no matter what, leaving him feeling sorry so he'll side with his mother. Sometimes, he tells me, it's like a battle zone in his house. This was in 2002. Then last year, my ex contacted me asking if I knew any marriage counsellors. Apparently, his mother had enough of his dad's and sis's crap and wanted a divorce. She was tired of his sis' constant attitude towards life - she's only interested in studying, doesn't like working, doesn't want to work, expects the parents to foot her living expenses and education plus airfare in Canada, etc.
When I brought this up to my parents, this is what my dad said:
"I will never take your side even though you're my daughter. I will always side your mother because she comes first. And that is my duty as a husband, to support and protect her...even if it's from her own child."
And he then reminded me that if any disagreement occurs between hubby and wife, it should be discussed in private and never in public or in front of other people. This is to save face and maintain the harmony between hubby and wife.
