dO u agree with your partner's disciplinary method?

CanCanMum

CanCanMum

Moderator
do u agree with yr DH/DW's disciplinary method? My DH will punish by spanking, which i do not agree with, and sometimes that will make up into a quarrel again. But i do grew up in my family that does hitting/spanking/cane but i believed that those old methods do not work anymore now. What do u all think?
 
WeeFee's_Mummy

WeeFee's_Mummy

Member
CanCanMum said:
do u agree with yr DH/DW's disciplinary method? My DH will punish by spanking, which i do not agree with, and sometimes that will make up into a quarrel again. But i do grew up in my family that does hitting/spanking/cane but i believed that those old methods do not work anymore now. What do u all think?
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i don't support corporeal punishment. i believe children learn better when you reason & negotiate as that will develop their ability to reason & moralize. my DH however thinks that sometimes, spanking is necessary esp when the child doesn't listen.

i can't say for certain at this moment. for now my DS is still a beautiful, innocent, perfect little baby. might be a different story once he develops his own opinions!! :tlaugh:
 
CanCanMum

CanCanMum

Moderator
wah, chime leh, watz "corporeal punishment"? Like army issit???

haha, yrs is still too early to be disciplined!!!
 
L

Lotus

Member
Both my husband & I come from family of spankers - his parents were more severe than mine. When pregnant with our first child we discussed the discipline style we wanted to adopt, which was no hitting. For us we both agreed that fear of physical punishment was not the most appropriate discipline style. So we do time outs and discuss with our daughter the reasons for the punishment.

Although my husband and I agree with the discipline method he rarely disciplines as he's very soft.
 
CanCanMum

CanCanMum

Moderator
but prob is he isnt agreeable with not spanking coz he thinks it works. It just pains me to see my boy being spanked, coz most of the time he will not even know why he was punished, and he will only cry.

but i canx say spanking is of no use at all becoz sometimes it does work, coz when my DH is ard he is exceptionally obedient...
 
shopaholic

shopaholic

Member
My hubby doesnt believe in spanking, but that said, he will not stop me if the kids get too out of hand and I feel I just had to drill the messages hard into them. I will cane but I will not cane like a mad woman. Luckily, the kids are mostly well behaved and even if I had to resort to the cane, by taking it out and waving it at them works most of the times. :)
 
CanCanMum

CanCanMum

Moderator
shopaholic said:
My hubby doesnt believe in spanking, but that said, he will not stop me if the kids get too out of hand and I feel I just had to drill the messages hard into them. I will cane but I will not cane like a mad woman. Luckily, the kids are mostly well behaved and even if I had to resort to the cane, by taking it out and waving it at them works most of the times. :)
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my DH dont even need to "bring" out the cane, merely mentioning it will send my boy to shivers. So my house has an imaginary cane. He is really really scared of his daddy.:err:
 
SH74

SH74

Member
when preggy, i discussed w my dh abt this b4. i feel that both parents mus hv a mutual agreement abt how to bring up the kid.

so for us, NO SPANKING. my parents dun spank us if we do wrong things. they reason it out w us. but his dad spank him w watever he can find. he also dun find it any good. actu cruel. think he cant bear to spank also. :D

anyway, aft hearing y spanking is bad for kid's growth (e.g. cause kids to b violent, kids wont b close w parents...), he also agree. thank god!
 
CanCanMum

CanCanMum

Moderator
yeah! i dont really dare to buy becoz i am just worried hb may misuse it - like use too much strength lah ...u noe guys normally cannot control strength when angry...scared, just scared.
 
autumn82

autumn82

Well-Known Member
Sometimes DH & me dun see eye to eye on some things, but after listening to my explainations, he will "give in" to me on disciplinary matters. DD turning 4yrs old oredi, sometimes mischievous after repeated warnings, eg. Dun play with water, ur clothes all wet oredi. She does that when I'm feeding DS so I won't know.

DD likes to keep our stuffs (eg. scissors) in her room, then tell me no she never keep. Not her.. but I found the thing in her room. Then she immediately say sorry mummy.. No use. I'll spank her. Coz I've already warned her earlier. To me, that's equal to lying. I rather let her noe the hard way coz I've tried the soft approach.

Then DH will be the soft one.. My DD loves to climb on his head everytime.. My DD dun dare to try me. So I'm the bad person while DH is the good one.. :(
 
autumn82

autumn82

Well-Known Member
Coz I'm looking after DD while DH only when he comes back from work, one day not even wif her for 4hrs, of coz soft la..

Last time when I was working, I was also like DH.. Coz one day hardly see her also.. *shakes head*

I always tell my gal, if u dun want mummy anymore, must tell me ok? I send u to ahma hse stay, let ah ma look after u. Of coz she cry say dun want to go ah ma hse.. :p Coz I told her, if she choose to go ah ma hse, dun even come back oredi. Haha. :p
 
autumn82

autumn82

Well-Known Member
So pissed off wif my gal now.. Keep on refusing to eat until have to force her.. It's a torture to feed her food nowadays. Damn! Soft and hard approach tried oredi.. Sometimes works, sometimes dun (prob coz I'm too sick of it).. Feel like starving her for one day. ZzzZz.
 
CanCanMum

CanCanMum

Moderator
Cool down, cool down...serious ah, both method oso dont work...jialat. ask her feed herself leh? think when shes hungry will auto ask 4 food...
 
autumn82

autumn82

Well-Known Member
CanCanMum said:
Cool down, cool down...serious ah, both method oso dont work...jialat. ask her feed herself leh? think when shes hungry will auto ask 4 food...
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She will feed herself 1 mouth, then even the food in her mouth never chew also. Can last for 1hr+ hor! LoL. Fedup.

She will only ask for milk which I dun have her to keep on drinking milk only. And best! She ask for milk, dun finish her milk! Waste my $$. FM very ex leh. LOL.

So bo pian, battle with her for the moment. Until I cannot take it. Out she goes. Haha. Kidding la.
 
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