do you tell your husband everything u're unhappy abt his family?

[Alisa]

every time me n hubby quarrel, I w bring back ancient history of how his parents dun like me (they r staying in Msia), dun like my gal, how they never treat me nice (even now they always assume this and that).

Most of the time my hubby w take it (he quite good temper), but sometimes when he in bad mood, he may loose it. But after that he w realise that I am just stating a "historical fact", which is true. He just hope that I dun bring it up so often. Or at least, "tried something more fresh and new" cos he said old news r boring

Think don always bring up those history, he knew it but his parents are in m'sia so don spoil yr relationship by this. not worth it.

Your post reminds me of all the mil issues. Currently im staying tgt with mil, worse. SAME talk big but dono how to take care.
Sometimes i regret having tis marriage as pregnancy was accidental. Mil promise to take care of baby after i gave birth cos def i don want to be a sahm. After seeing the way she take care can really ask her get lost. kns.
Now im troubled alrdy, starting work next yr feb but noone to take care of my baby. Only solution is to hire maid, let my mil n maid take care.
Im sorry but i always scold my mil to my husband, he gives in to me all the time lah but srsly i know hes being caught in da middle. What to do? Sighs

how about put in infant care?

Sighz... Me2 was 'accidental'. Mil said she can take care. Now she ask me to go back to my plc as her own daughter comin back to stay to the hse in late feb/early mar aft she give birth. My edd is 1-mth later after hers... Her reason. Her hse too small to "accomodate" another xtra person + a baby. Me & my husband is to go back my hse as my hse is bigger & i hv my own room. Doesnt she "get it" my mom doesnt want me arnd till i give birth!!!???!?!? Im more annoyed my inlaws told me i can cook anything in the fridge - theres "NOTHING" for me to cook! N wen i buy ingredients like meat for my meals, end up my mil use them for her own dish!!! I told her - dont cook for me or buy me anything. Not all food i eat. N she uses my 1-week supply of meat for her dish which i cant eat!
I tell EVERYTHING to my husband. He just claim his mom is old n i must remind her. Remind her of wat? Its GONE or TOO LATE to tell me. Really cant wait to get a plc of our own. Pffftt...

then better go back to your parents' hse. how come the food she cook u cannot eat?

sometimes it's better to keep quiet or u might complicate matters and affect your relationship with your husband

true... but if we never voice, the mummy boy will always be kept in his hidding, thinking that his mum is the BEST! my husband also knew about his parents pattern so i will try not to talk much about them unless i really cannot tahan.

 

[JanelStacey]

Agree. keep things to yourself first, until you feel things is too much. If not your hubby will think you too complainy.

sometimes if you can tahan, just tahan first.

 

[quincy1986]

sorry.
i hope i am not late in replying to this topic

actually the best person you can complain to is your own mother (if she is still around).

because mothers have been passers-by in this relationship with in-laws.
if we complain to hubby, they will find us ridiculous zzz...
complain to fellow wives, we'll be complaining our problems together. and everyone of us will get more and more agitated.
it is like adding oil to fire.

if we confide in to our mothers, they will often teach us to view things in a calmer way.
although they'd probably had been complaining while they were our age.
the feeling is really different.
try it.

otherwise you can feel free to confide your problems in forum if you feel there's is no one appropriate to share with.

 

[Lynn23]

I think im blessed to hv a hubby who always sides with me. I will complain to him whenever I feel that his parents are being unreasonable in their views etc.. At least I let him kw that his parents sometimes are "unfair" to me, or else he will always feel that his parents are really "that good" parents in law to me. We are not staying together so at least I don't need to face them so often. So we dont hv any disputes at all but I kw that both of my in laws will gossip behind me but I really cant be bothered much since im not relying on them for dinner etc..But I will get fed up when his dad talks to me in an aggressive manner...so I will avoid meeting them often.

 

[MsKoh1973]

In addition, I oso complaint abt my xiao gu who is staying w us, she no give allowance, dun do housework, everyday come home play ipad, iphone, watch tv. I must complaint few times, then my hubby w "talk" to her, but she usually good only for one week, then back to old self, she is 40+ liao, dun noe why she so immature, so inconsiderate, so selfish. Really hope she find a husband soon.