First time getting maid - need advice!!

[Thunderbird]

Hello mummies,

I'm getting a maid for the FIRST time and she's arriving in Sin in a week's time. She is a filipino. As I'm a "newbie" in this area, I really need experienced maid employers' advice on some stuff such as:

1. What is a normal acceptable time for her to go out on her off day? I initially thought of giving her 8am - 8pm off on her rest day but a friend said that's very long. She gives her maid 9am - 5.30pm.

2. Do I have to buy or give her money to buy her toiletries such as body wash, shampoo, facial wash, toothpaste, toothbrush, sanitary pads etc? If I have to buy, is there a standard list of items I as employer need to buy for her or must I pay for everything? My friend said her maid pays for such stuff herself and experienced maids will know that such items are under their own expenses. Is that right?

3. Do you allow her to have her meals together with you and your family at the dining table or does she eat separately elsewhere?

4. During CNY, do you keep her ang pow monies or do you allow her to have them?

5. Do you celebrate your maid's birthday and / or give her a present of some sort?

6. Anything in particular I as a new employer need to be mindful of?

Appreciate if everyone can share with me your experiences / best practices.

MANY THANKS

 

[hpc]

I don't buy for her as she have a allowance of s$10-20,so she can buy herself.If employer buy for them,will demand for good brand shampoo,sanitry pad,bath foam.Basicly.. we employer supply is soap,toothpaste,3 meals.As for meals,my maid eats separately.Some maids have no manner,employer haven't eat they first etc.....As for angpow,if she is a gd worker,can give no need to give gold chain etc,they won't appriecate.Don't be too chin chye or else she will take it for granted.If no off day will be better,many earn x-tras .BTW is ur maid taking care of infants,p/s get someone to train her .Good luck to u

 

[Princekitty]

I believe in treating my maid well just like part of my family members and she will in return be gd too.
She will have her off day after the loan and will have to get her basic household jobs done before gg out which is about 9am. To be back by 6pm.

My maid use the same shampoo and shower gel we used, dun need seperate. But she buy her own facial products and sanitary pads.

My maid will eat after we eat when at home as while we eating she will clean up the kitchen. But when outside, she will sit with us and eat whatever we eat. Treat her as 1 family.

During CNY, i will give her ang pow. I give to all the maids with my relatives too. In return my relatives do the same. She gets to keep whatever ang pow she gets.

During birthday, will give her a ang pow too and go out for a meal.

But overll, u shld monitor ur new mid first. Treat her well and see how she respond. If she deserves it, then gd. Cos there are also maid who takes advantage of ur kindness. So be nice but let her kwbthings have to be done got to do it right. The first day i got my maid, i told her straight my rules. If she steals or have a bf and do hanky panky i will send her back.

 

[organic]

I believe in treating my maid well just like part of my family members and she will in return be gd too.
She will have her off day after the loan and will have to get her basic household jobs done before gg out which is about 9am. To be back by 6pm.

My maid use the same shampoo and shower gel we used, dun need seperate. But she buy her own facial products and sanitary pads.

My maid will eat after we eat when at home as while we eating she will clean up the kitchen. But when outside, she will sit with us and eat whatever we eat. Treat her as 1 family.

During CNY, i will give her ang pow. I give to all the maids with my relatives too. In return my relatives do the same. She gets to keep whatever ang pow she gets.

During birthday, will give her a ang pow too and go out for a meal.

But overll, u shld monitor ur new mid first. Treat her well and see how she respond. If she deserves it, then gd. Cos there are also maid who takes advantage of ur kindness. So be nice but let her kwbthings have to be done got to do it right. The first day i got my maid, i told her straight my rules. If she steals or have a bf and do hanky panky i will send her back.

Agreed. Maids are human also, treat them with respect and they will do the same to you too. But I agreed we must warn them they will be sent home if they break some of the rules like steals or have a bf and do hanky panky.

 

[Thunderbird]

Thank you everyone for sharing.

One more thing I remember - is it ok to leave my new maid home alone with my hubby? I heard some will make up stories of molestation by the bosses etc.

I happen to have a night out on her 4th day here so a bit concern as some people have told me never to leave maids alone with the male bosses??

 

[hpc]

Unless its no choice,otherwise try not to leave ur maid with ur husband.U trust ur husband but not ur maid.When she feel working with u ,she will make up stories such as employer/son molest her etc...

 

[pipilili]

My super enthu new maid asked me to leave her in my hse alone to do all the hsework. She says she is ok to do that.

I told her, she is ok, I am not ok. What if she falls down from the window or the hse catches fire. I told her straight - No!

Honestly, I dun trust maid to be alone in the hse, unless I have CCTV to monitor her moves.(which I dun) And if she wants to be alone in the hse, I will not give her the hse keys too. (only give her a set of tel no to call.) Anyway, my rule is the maid will nvr be alone in the hse. Too dangerous for her and us! :001_302:

 

[Thunderbird]

I also don't feel right leaving maid alone in house with my hubby. But is this applicable only for new maids in the beginning? Once they have been with you for some time, would it be alright to leave them alone in house with husbands?

What happens then when you have nightouts with friends? Or is this part of the sacrifice to make as long as you have a maid with u?.....

 

[pipilili]

Yest, my maid has once again told me she would like to stay in the hse alone to do the hsework. (and honestly, my bb hasn't arrive so how much work can there be?). Finally I told her in a more stern tone, I will nvr let you stay at home alone. If you are not scared, I am! You will go wherever I go, if you cannot finish the hsework(our pl is the most empty hse for a couple), then do it the next day. I nvr expect you to finish everything in 1 day.

Dunno what she is planning! Maybe to recee the whole hse and check whr we put all the exp items.

Never leave your maids alone in the hse. If you really need to, lock up the rooms so that they cannot enter.

I dun even leave the hse keys lying around for her to pick up and open the door/gates whenever she likes. The keys will always be with us, if she need to open the gates, ask for permission. (Why? Some maids will dup the keys so that they have a set. That is how Bangala end up hanky panky with maids in employer's hse) Nowadays maids are v 'geng' so we gotto be more 'geng' than them if you want to deal with them.

ancing_wub:ancing_wub:ancing_wub:ancing_wub:

 

[mummymaid]

I also dont't feel right leaving maid alone in house with my hubby. But is this applicable only for new maids in the beginning? Once they have been with you for some time, would it be alright to leave them alone in house with husbands?

What happens then when you have nightouts with friends? Or is this part of the sacrifice to make as long as you have a maid with you?.....

Install CCTV (read link)
protects your house and hubby in case of false accusations.

I installed for the benefit of our children.

 

[godloved]

Hello mummies,

I'm getting a maid for the FIRST time and she's arriving in Sin in a week's time. She is a filipino. As I'm a "newbie" in this area, I really need experienced maid employers' advice on some stuff such as:

1. What is a normal acceptable time for her to go out on her off day? I initially thought of giving her 8am - 8pm off on her rest day but a friend said that's very long. She gives her maid 9am - 5.30pm.
The usual practice is she does a bit of he morning chores, goes out and rejoins the family for dinner. But if she needs to attend church service, then I will let her go such that she will be in time.

2. Do I have to buy or give her money to buy her toiletries such as body wash, shampoo, facial wash, toothpaste, toothbrush, sanitary pads etc? If I have to buy, is there a standard list of items I as employer need to buy for her or must I pay for everything? My friend said her maid pays for such stuff herself and experienced maids will know that such items are under their own expenses. Is that right?
For me, I pay for her basics toiletries, including, toothpaste, toothbrush, sanitary napkins, soap, shampoo, facial cleanser. She even as coffee (for herself, as we dont't drink coffee), biscuits and snacks all paid by us. I also bought her clothes when she came and also for CNY. Just bought her new clothes as she has put on weight. The thing about buying stuff for her is that I treat her as family so I do not "calculate". Anyway, if her toiletries are provided, she will be more mindful about personal hygiene...snacks and drinks are like comfort job perks.. so in a sense my baby is in good care as well. We also pay for her calls home.

3. Do you allow her to have her meals together with you and your family at the dining table or does she eat separately elsewhere?
For us, she has to eat separately because of the baby. We take turns, me an hubby eats then she does while we then takes the baby. She feeds my baby her dinner while me and hubby are eating. When we eat out, we eat together, same food, same table. We do not leave her leftovers, she gets her share portioned out nicely before we eat. Sometimes I let her cook her dinner her way..meaning to say she gets to cook her Filipino food..I believe this helps in homesickness. Meaning to say, if I cook chicken, she gets her portion of it and cooks it however she likes, usually Adobo-ed . Yes I stock up the basic ingredients that she needs in her cooking like vinegar (didn't have it in the past)

4. During CNY, do you keep her ang pow monies or do you allow her to have them?
It's hers to keep

5. Do you celebrate your maid's birthday and / or give her a present of some sort?
Yes, a small slice of cake, a call home and a small gift of cash round about $20. Christmas also has a Christmas present for her and I buy somethings for her child back home during the child's birthday and Christmas.

6. Anything in particular I as a new employer need to be mindful of?
Set ground rules but be reasonable. Give her time to adjust. I do not know where your helper is from but if she is from a village, please show more grace. She needs time to get used to the life here. Cultures and way of living is different. Just as you are weary of a stranger at home, she might me weary of coming to a foreign land.
Appreciate if everyone can share with me your experiences / best practices.

MANY THANKS

As for night outs, usually me and hubby arrange out night outs together means I meet my girls, he meets his guys. Or I stay he goes. I do not leave them alone in order to avoid issues. When we go out, initially, we left helper with in-laws or my side. Now gradually, (because she has earned her trust through her actions), sometimes we do go for a quick dinner and leave her at home with or without the baby. Of course making sure we are all contactable. Both ways. I replied your questions in red in the quote..hope all this helps..

 

[Thunderbird]

Thanks everyone once again for your tips.

@mummymaid: I am considering bet CCTV and webcam From singtel actually, not just for maid monitoring but also home security so it's a kill 2 birds solution. Thanks. Can you share with me the cost of installing CCTV?

@pipilili: your maid does sound a bit "suspicious" ESP since she has already asked more than once to stay home alone. Maybe should ask her for the reason why or try let her do it and see what she really does home alone?

@godloved: Thanks for answering my qns so detailedly. How you treat your maid is exactly how I had intended to for mine as well. Be nice to her and treat her well.

Just that some friends keep saying if you r too nice they will climb all over you, and my mum every so often likes to feed me horror stories about maids she read in the papers. Like today she just told me about this Filipino maid who was caught stealing the daughter's hp and then they found the family members' hair and nails in the maid's luggage! God knows what she planned to do with them! And stories of how maids abuse their bosses' babies and toddlers, one added washing detergent powder in baby's milk powder, one attempted to make her bosses drink her urine, etc etc. Gives me the creeps! Of coz there are also stories of employers abusing their maids and i feel sorry for these maids too. Aiya... Why can't people just treat people nicely?

Sorry with the "lamenting". I'm collecting my maid in 2 days time and Im feeling quite scared now actually!!! Wahahha...

 

[godloved]

Thanks everyone once again for your tips.

@mummymaid: I am considering bet CCTV and webcam From singtel actually, not just for maid monitoring but also home security so it's a kill 2 birds solution. Thanks. Can you share with me the cost of installing CCTV?

@pipilili: your maid does sound a bit "suspicious" ESP since she has already asked more than once to stay home alone. Maybe should ask her for the reason why or try let her do it and see what she really does home alone?

@godloved: Thanks for answering my qns so detailedly. How you treat your maid is exactly how I had intended to for mine as well. Be nice to her and treat her well.

Just that some friends keep saying if you r too nice they will climb all over you, and my mum every so often likes to feed me horror stories about maids she read in the papers. Like today she just told me about this Filipino maid who was caught stealing the daughter's hp and then they found the family members' hair and nails in the maid's luggage! God knows what she planned to do with them! And stories of how maids abuse their bosses' babies and toddlers, one added washing detergent powder in baby's milk powder, one attempted to make her bosses drink her urine, etc etc. Gives me the creeps! Of coz there are also stories of employers abusing their maids and i feel sorry for these maids too. Aiya... Why can't people just treat people nicely?

Sorry with the "lamenting". I'm collecting my maid in 2 days time and Im feeling quite scared now actually!!! Wahahha...

Thunderbird,

I actually understand your fears and I say they are very real. To be honest, I had unsuitable helpers myself which results in heartache and disappointment. However I do not believe in stereotyping helpers or if the previous one turns out badly, the next one will be the same, that kind of mentality. I choose to treat my helpers all reasonably well until she proves to me that she is not what I think she is. Similarly if a helper has proven over time that she is better than I thought, I also do not hesitate to give performance bonuses such as extra calling cards, cash or even to join the family for holidays (I have the option of leaving the helper with the agent when I need to)

For me, I hold "work review" sessions with my helper regularly and this helps her to see clearly areas in which I appreciate and also areas that I need her to improve. I have gotten feedback that this actually helps her to know what is expected and she feels it makes it easier for her as well. rather than trying to guess what we as her employers want from her. It is also during such sessions that I try to find out from her her concerns or issues, like homesickness or workload management and I respond appropriately from there. I always let her know that she can approach me if the need arises.

Helpers are like us, mere humans, looking for a job to improve their situations back home. I treat her the way I hope my employer treats me - reasonable and respect. If we as employers put ourselves in their shoes, which woman or mother if given a choice will want to leave our loved ones and work in a foreign land, in a foreign family and having to get used to new cultures and leaving our comfort zone? Of course I know when I say that many other people might say they made their choice. But really, if they were a little more comfortable back home would they really leave home for "greener pastures" here? Of course I do not deny that there are those "bad" ones but until proven guilty, I rather give them the benefit of the doubt.

The other aspect that you make want to consider is having a set of schedules and ground rules set out in black and white. Schedules have helped my helper know what she is supposed to do each day and of course now she has settled into a clockwork already. The rules allow her to know what is expected and she can't say you didn't tell her, so that protects the employer in a sense from unnecessary dispute.

With regards to CCTVs, I personally feel that if they are installed, I will do it in an aboveboard manner and let the helper know that these surveillance are in place. I may not tell her where exactly they are of course, otherwise there is the possibility of it being sabotaged. However I will reassure her that her privacy is by no means compromised and that these CCTVs are there more for me to see my child while I am at work or out rather than to "observe her work". Again, I wouldn't want my employer to sneakily "spy on me" without telling me. If the helper is serious about work, knowing that there are CCTVs will already act as a deterrence from hanky panky. And conversely, if a helper is out for mischief, she will do so no matter what. In fact I will tell her it's for her good as the surveillance, when needed would protect her (then quote some examples of previous break-ins that resulted in helper being taken advantaged of) or "prove her innocence", in case something goes missing or if child is hurt by accident.

Just my ranting and sharing.
All the best and do update us k?

 

[Thunderbird]

Hi everyone,

My maid has been with us for 5 days now. Generally find her to be good with initiative, and she's gentle towards kids which is the most impt.

She told me her handphone was confiscated by the agency for 3 months so I offered to let her call home when she arrived. She's worked in Taiwan and Saudi before, told me her Taiwan employer allowed her to use her handphone freely but her Saudi employer only allowed her to call home once every 3-5 months. Just wondering what's the standard practice here in Singapore? I said I'm ok for her to use her phone as long as it's after working hours. But am I supposed to provide for her phonebills?

The other thing is do your maids follow your work schedule strictly? I find that sometimes she doesn't follow the schedule I prepared for her.

Also I gave her 1 off day a month to which some people say I shouldnt have done that (actually she was ok not having off day too, but I just thought she's human too and who can work 365 days a year right?) They say I'll regret my decision.... do your maids get off days? How much do you compensate her for not taking off days? P.S. My maid's off day is a weekday though. I told her for the first 6 months, I need her on weekends so can only give her off on weekdays and she was ok.

 

[godloved]

Hi everyone,

My maid has been with us for 5 days now. Generally find her to be good with initiative, and she's gentle towards kids which is the most impt.

Ans: Good for you that she is so far showing positive signs. However a word of caution here - in the beginning they are usually eager to please and to "test waters" so far usually the "true colours" only surface a bit later say 3 months or so. Unless they really do not want to work then yes, some exhibits bad performance from the start.

She told me her handphone was confiscated by the agency for 3 months so I offered to let her call home when she arrived. She's worked in Taiwan and Saudi before, told me her Taiwan employer allowed her to use her handphone freely but her Saudi employer only allowed her to call home once every 3-5 months. Just wondering what's the standard practice here in Singapore? I said I'm ok for her to use her phone as long as it's after working hours. But am I supposed to provide for her phonebills?

Ans: For my helper I pay for all her calls back. So far she is quite "automatic", doesn't hog the line even though she gets free calls so I thank God for that. She uses the house phone but doesn't hold a mobile as the agent has kept it for her. They do not want her to be distracted. I told her if her performance is good then I will get her her own mobile but she has to pay for the top ups in excess of $20 (which I will provide, out of goodwill). So far I can't say she has worked well enough for me to know she is ready for a mobile. Currently without it, her work is already careless, even with regards to my child so she knows she hasn't "proven her salt" on this aspect.


The other thing is do your maids follow your work schedule strictly? I find that sometimes she doesn't follow the schedule I prepared for her.

Ans: Nope, with a child to take care of, I also do not insist she does it. Have to be flexible on that. It is just a guide.


Also I gave her 1 off day a month to which some people say I shouldnt have done that (actually she was ok not having off day too, but I just thought she's human too and who can work 365 days a year right?) They say I'll regret my decision.... do your maids get off days? How much do you compensate her for not taking off days? P.S. My maid's off day is a weekday though. I told her for the first 6 months, I need her on weekends so can only give her off on weekdays and she was ok.

Ans: I give but the current one doesn't want. Because she knows she goes out she spends more. She says she has no reason to want to go out anyway. Everything is provided for and she rather go out with us, because that is when she gets restaurant food on my expense..(so smart, huh?)

As usual, my answers are in blue. Just my opinion. Every family operates in a different way so hope this helps

 

[littlena]

My super enthu new maid asked me to leave her in my house alone to do all the hsework. She says she is ok to do that.

I told her, she is ok, I am not ok. What if she falls down from the window or the house catches fire. I told her straight - No!

Honestly, I dont trust maid to be alone in the house, unless I have CCTV to monitor her moves.(which I dont) And if she wants to be alone in the house, I will not give her the house keys too. (only give her a set of tel no to call.) Anyway, my rule is the maid will never be alone in the house. Too dangerous for her and us! :001_302:

We leave the maid at home to do housework ..or when we travel..
we have IP cameras linked to iphone.. LOL can monitor anytime

One thing to note... not to generalize here but typically Filipino... Be extra cautious

 

[hpc]

Maid with off often have more problems,remember off day on wkday doesn't mean she can't do anything.There are cases that maid went to Geylang to earn extras got caught by police.Be more alert what she bring in n out of the house.

 

[Thunderbird]

@godloved & hpc
Thanks for the advice. Will keep that in mind.

Godloved, you r lucky to get a maid who doesnt want off days. I heard nowadays most if not all Filipino maids have to give them 1 off day a week? Some even will request for public holidays off too.

Sorry I have one more question - regarding pay. How do you pay them? ESP for Filipino maids since my maid is Filipino, do you open a bank account for them with National Philippine Bank or something and transfer salary every month or give them cash? It's not good for them to hold too much cash with them right?

 

[Thunderbird]

Side track a bit...

I have a friend who told me that she gets her maid to hand wash ALL the clothes in the family (3 adults + 2 kids) everyday even though she has a washing machine at home. Her reason: washing machine consumes alot of water. Handwash saves water.

Another friend said he gets his maid to "hand-mop" the floor every morning using a cloth instead of a proper mop. His reason: it's cleaner.

Just curious how these 2 chores are practiced in yr homes?

 

[Princekitty]

Side track a bit...

I have a friend who told me that she gets her maid to hand wash ALL the clothes in the family (3 adults + 2 kids) everyday even though she has a washing machine at home. Her reason: washing machine consumes alot of water. Handwash saves water.

Another friend said he gets his maid to "hand-mop" the floor every morning using a cloth instead of a proper mop. His reason: it's cleaner.

Just curious how these 2 chores are practiced in yr homes?

Sorry to say ur fren seems to be those difficult employer. They can try to handmop e floor and see how tiring it is. How will the feel if ask to handwash the clothes by mother in law? If u treat the maid as 1 of ur family memebers, u wont ask her to do such chores.