How to make marriage work when u dun feel love anymore??
- Thread starter vion
- Start date
Leanne
Active Member
I feel once a couples got married, slowly, their love seems to die off. How come? Maybe becus they r too used to each other alr. & then, you'll soon forget bout each other's good points & beautiful memories you both once shared.
Then soon, when arguments came upon, tears, hurtful words will appear. Then you'll think, why i married to sucha person bla bla bla.
That's when you feel unloved.
But, do think back the days when you two once shared. It keeps your r/s going & alive
Then soon, when arguments came upon, tears, hurtful words will appear. Then you'll think, why i married to sucha person bla bla bla.
That's when you feel unloved.
But, do think back the days when you two once shared. It keeps your r/s going & alive
`julee
Member
im still asking myself this question, "can i stop loving a person?"
of coz i love my hb. and yes, i feel very unloved. i don wan to hav sex anymore. there's no more sparks.
but there are times wen i look at him, and i tink, 'yep. he is the one'
its like on and off..
i dono if its jus me, cause i nvr had a very long relationship because i got bored easily. it use to be lovey-doey, then arguments and then i got bored and i move on with life. but marriage is diff i guess, we are still running in circles about LOVE...
of coz i love my hb. and yes, i feel very unloved. i don wan to hav sex anymore. there's no more sparks.
but there are times wen i look at him, and i tink, 'yep. he is the one'
its like on and off..
i dono if its jus me, cause i nvr had a very long relationship because i got bored easily. it use to be lovey-doey, then arguments and then i got bored and i move on with life. but marriage is diff i guess, we are still running in circles about LOVE...
Carol
Member
I feel once a couples got married, slowly, their love seems to die off. How come? Maybe becus they r too used to each other alr. & then, you'll soon forget bout each other's good points & beautiful memories you both once shared.
Then soon, when arguments came upon, tears, hurtful words will appear. Then you'll think, why i married to sucha person bla bla bla.
That's when you feel unloved.
But, do think back the days when you two once shared. It keeps your r/s going & alive
You're so right. Now when you ask me bout Dh's gd points, I'll have to think before answering you. Last time, I can straight away shoot off all the reasons why I love him. But whenever we talk bout the time we first knew each other, fall in love etc. Everythin comes tumbling back.
Overall some people force their marriage to work out even if really no love. All for the kids lo.
aby
Member
YEs, LOVE has its ups and downs..
A marriage really take effort (great) to maintain, to inject freshness etc.. Not easy, have to constantly and consciously keep doing things..
Read a book " The Languages of LOVE".. Eye opening and good.. I believe many or most couples out there really love one another and the family.. Just that, both are communicating dufferent languages and cannot interpret the one the other party is talking.. FRUSTRATING!!! This book help to identify.. And once got into the habit or doing so... BINGO.. wow... I felt so loved.. And alway eants to show love to hb in the "language" he uinderstand.. Now marriage life is much better.. In fact i told many gd frens that: this year is the BEST in my life!!! Bad childhood, dramatic life, disappointing careers, ILs, depressions etc etc.. Life had never been better!! Praise GOD!!!
Do pick that book and read and apply,.. Wonder whether the libraries have it?
Ya Leanne, still interested in "The languages of LOVE" ?? Searching high and love for my copy but ca''t find... HAIZ.. Must have lent to a friend but cant recall who, haiz...
Anyway, my 2 younger aunties interested in the chinese version and a couple of friends in the english one.. Will be trying to call bookstores or suppliers for them.. You keen to have it too? PM me k?
Really hope all couples r comunicating in languages both parties understand.. Then the world will be such a LOVING one!!! :red:
A marriage really take effort (great) to maintain, to inject freshness etc.. Not easy, have to constantly and consciously keep doing things..
Read a book " The Languages of LOVE".. Eye opening and good.. I believe many or most couples out there really love one another and the family.. Just that, both are communicating dufferent languages and cannot interpret the one the other party is talking.. FRUSTRATING!!! This book help to identify.. And once got into the habit or doing so... BINGO.. wow... I felt so loved.. And alway eants to show love to hb in the "language" he uinderstand.. Now marriage life is much better.. In fact i told many gd frens that: this year is the BEST in my life!!! Bad childhood, dramatic life, disappointing careers, ILs, depressions etc etc.. Life had never been better!! Praise GOD!!!
Do pick that book and read and apply,.. Wonder whether the libraries have it?
Ya Leanne, still interested in "The languages of LOVE" ?? Searching high and love for my copy but ca''t find... HAIZ.. Must have lent to a friend but cant recall who, haiz...
Anyway, my 2 younger aunties interested in the chinese version and a couple of friends in the english one.. Will be trying to call bookstores or suppliers for them.. You keen to have it too? PM me k?
Really hope all couples r comunicating in languages both parties understand.. Then the world will be such a LOVING one!!! :red:
mae
Active Member
JMHO
At first I really don't know how to reply to von, but as i have thought deeply, I think LOVE never fades off, it's just that sometimes our feelings of love is being clouded by some circumstances & negative situation. But if we are to dig and have sometime to ponder our deepest emotions, we will know that love is still there but needs to be nurtured again.
At first I really don't know how to reply to von, but as i have thought deeply, I think LOVE never fades off, it's just that sometimes our feelings of love is being clouded by some circumstances & negative situation. But if we are to dig and have sometime to ponder our deepest emotions, we will know that love is still there but needs to be nurtured again.
actualli, after getting married, it is more like HABIT instead of love....
during my premarital counselling course, we discussed many issues n this was one of them....
impt is for both parties to set aside some time every week to tink abt ur love, ur relationship n reflect together...it can be a simple dinner without kids or a quick movie....
sometimes i get frustrated with my hb, esp when both r so bz with work n got no time for each other.....then still have to meet e demands of home (look after my boi, do housework, etc etc)....
time is not limited...u can always make time for u hb n make the magic remain in ur relationship.....
now me n hb have friday nights to ourselves n e magic is slowly coming back
sometimes jus going for a walk, hold hands also good....reminds me of how my hb used to be so shy tt i gotta hold his hand on e first date!!!
during my premarital counselling course, we discussed many issues n this was one of them....
impt is for both parties to set aside some time every week to tink abt ur love, ur relationship n reflect together...it can be a simple dinner without kids or a quick movie....
sometimes i get frustrated with my hb, esp when both r so bz with work n got no time for each other.....then still have to meet e demands of home (look after my boi, do housework, etc etc)....
time is not limited...u can always make time for u hb n make the magic remain in ur relationship.....
now me n hb have friday nights to ourselves n e magic is slowly coming back
sometimes jus going for a walk, hold hands also good....reminds me of how my hb used to be so shy tt i gotta hold his hand on e first date!!!
tommyBoi
Alpha Male
To me, I love my wife now more than 10 yrs ago.. mayb becoz we went thru many up and down together for the past 10 yrs and that make us more united and love each other more.
If u ask me how much I love my wife now, i can sacrifice for her one day if need to. Death is nothing to me if need to exchange for her happiness.
Remember, being together with ur love one is a gift and happiness... just that many of us overlook this. We will not be able to be together forever, so treasure wat u have now rather than regret when the day come.
Cheers!!:001_302:
If u ask me how much I love my wife now, i can sacrifice for her one day if need to. Death is nothing to me if need to exchange for her happiness.
Remember, being together with ur love one is a gift and happiness... just that many of us overlook this. We will not be able to be together forever, so treasure wat u have now rather than regret when the day come.
Cheers!!:001_302:
Ting
Well-Known Member
*hugs*:sayangbaby: me too....if it wasnt for kaipin, i may not even be with him anymore....
`julee
Member
oh dear. i feel the same way to. i feel like i am staying for my dd's sake..
Carole
Member
"Have sex almost everyday!" I read an article in "Readers' Digest" years ago. I can't find the article anymore or else I'll post it here for everyone to read! It talked about a mother telling her daughter on her wedding (before walking into down the aisle). The daughter was stunned tat her mum was telling her tat. Well, years into her marriage and it was not working. She suddenly remembered her mother's advise. She used it.. and her marriage started working again. I dunno abt you.. But give it a shot... who knows.. it might work for you?
:shyxxx:tis sure sounds weird...