Yes..when we were dating, usually he treat me, but I treat sometimes..so I guess this is when he thought couples should share..Well, I feel that guys should be more gentleman and offer to pay in full for wedding and child delivery.. cos this is when we ladies will feel special and loved (hope I am not asking too much)....and I do agree that child expenses should be share.. I am just upset that my hubby does not console me when I am sad...and he insist that he is right and I am unfair to do comparison (to ask him pay all)... I guess I need to adjust my expectation.....Is it wrong to compare? Else, I am like a frog in the well..
Hubby did not console me when I cry.. now on silent war
- Thread starter pucca
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pillowhugger01
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Its his wrong when he didnt console u. But as for the studio album both u n hubby agreed to pay half half, so u should stick to it. Cannot my neighbour say, friend say, mum say or dad say. Imagine one day he come to u and say his friends told him that wife should stay at home do housework, cook n take care of kids, no talking with other men, no going out and no sleeping before your husband sleeps (true story), how will you feel?. And your husband married you coz he loves you! Expenses increase after marriage, he has to pay more compared to the days when both of you were dating. cant be he just wants you to share fiances.
I dont think u shld measure care and love by $$$... A guy can pay everything but that doesn't make a woman special or loved...
maybe when both are in good mood than u can share with your husband that sometimes u just need a little care when u r upset, tell him u r hurt the way he treat u. Guys sometimes need to be reminded, they do know understand why woman behaves tis way...
It is not wrong comparing but after that u will hv to make ur own judgement... My fren married a guy who pays for everything, even her insurance. He even gave her pocket allowance monthly. Her husband is drawing high salary but my husband is not, so I will not expect my hubby to do that. I felt special and loved when he help me cover blanket at night and massage my LEDs when swollen...
Personally I feel. Does it really matter who pay more or who pay less? When other couples had their husband paying more doesn't mean you and your husband has to do the same. And since you agreed in the first place to share, why are you upset he doesn't want to return you money? And I don't understand why being a guy has got to pay for all. We females also should have the ability unless you are not working. We cant depend all on husband. Honestly, we got to be fair to them as well. Imagine you are the guy. Won't you be thinking that just bcos you are the male one you got to pay for everything? The guys probably get so upset paying so much especially if they can't really afford. They probably hope they are the females instead. Then this is bad for the relationship. Unless your husband is already so calculative and stingy even before you marry him. If so, it's also someone whom you agreed to be with for life. It doesn't matter who make the payment. So long as you and your husband feel happy. This is what matters most. If your husband feels that you know how to "auto", he probably will feel he should do more than you automatically. Remember, being happy together need one another to compromise. Then the relationship will last longer. Don't let what others say ruin your family. Take care!
Me and my hubby agreed to contribute the same % of our salaries to a joint account and all household expenses like groceries, bb stuff, childcare, gynae, Internet bills etc comes from the account. He earns more so he contributes more to the account. But we both agreed on this cos our contributions are based on our earning capabilities. I think as financially independent working women, I WANT to contribute to my family expenses. Also, I don't want money to become the topic when we quarrel say 20yrs later.. Haha..I know guys who pays for everything, gives their wives supplementary credit cards for their personal shopping...they feel proud that their love ones are spending their money but my hubby is not this kind. He is meticulous with his finances, doesn't spend on luxury items and will invest wisely for the future. I don't think he should be paying for everything (or anything in particular) cos ultimately whatever he saves now will eventually to go our future and kids.
Of course it's wrong to compare. Everyone's marriage and relationship is different. There are wives that get a Louis Vuitton bag every month and a nice vacation every 6 months, no need to work and have nice cars to drive. And are you going to compare with that? Yes, you are a frog in a well. Because this is your marriage. Why care about what other wives have and have not? Does it make you feel better that your husband bought you a more expensive bag than your best friend's husband? Does that make you feel that your husband loves you more? What's more important is that your husband loves you and maybe the way that he shows his love is different. Not everyone buys or splurges on their wives to show their love. For expenses with regards to your pregnancy, you both have to discuss and decide the finance of it. Do try to work out the ideas you both have on finances because if these thoughts go on, a marriage can easily crumble because of issues with finances.