i just need a listening ear.

[waka]

Hi to all mummies or daddies,

Recently so many thing happen to me... everything just don goes well... I really tired of my current life. I keep thinking of walking off from everything including my child and my husband and lead my own life. I don have the courage to do tat...

Pls tell me am I selfish? I told my husband to find a hs for us coz I have enough of my in laws. but he told me he don noe wat can he do. he told me he need to setter his problrm first and ask me to bear with it. I apply for a rental flat from HDB but HDB take so long to reply and approve.d I really can not tahan already. I'm gg mad.I keep asking myself y I marry to a useless bum. why he can't give a home and I still so stupid to marry him.

My in laws giving me problem. bully my child and steal my thing. wrost of all still don admit and blame meon things I nv do. I'm very tired.

 

[AugBoyz]

any other places that you can stay for a short period of time? Perhaps you can go down to HDB personally to ask about your application. Usually they give priority to small young families, especially if your child is still a baby. Of course you have to take into consideration other factors too such as if the current house is under your hubby's name, your total household income must not exceed the max requirement for house renting fm HDB etc.

If you want to walk away from your current life, take your child with you since your ILs are not treating him well. Sorry to say this but ya, its true right?

 

[coolmom]

Is it possible for you to move out and stay on your own first? Maybe go to your parents' place?

 

[waka]

I have call them for the pass 2 months but they just say case on pending... I have to admit tat is my side tat delay the time of getting our own house. but tat does mean he can just push the whole thing to me. I don want tat to happens too.. is my late father house tat I holding the shares so I was deny to get a house. If they still reply me with a negative result am I gg to stay here for life until my mum decieded to sell the house.

I very frustated. He wanted to scold my in laws but it only make things wrost. When he is not around where I want to go. Confirm they will find fault with me. I have enough

 

[AugBoyz]

well if you have a current hdb flat that is under your name then its quite difficult for you to rent another house. Any siblings who can take over your share?

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Why don't u stay with ur mum temporarily? with ur hubby?

 

[waka]

No sibling can help. even get rid of the shares, still must wait for 3 yrs later then can apply.

 

[waka]

Can't stay with mum as my mum side is also fully occupied. want to rent in open market but so expensive. BTO tk yrs. what should I do?

 

[waka]

I can go back to my mum place but I can't be there forever. My first gal is already 4 yrs old and I just want to setter down before she goes primary sch. I don wan to move house and keep changing her sch... I don know who to blame? Maybe I just got myself to blame.

 

[AugBoyz]

now its not the time for the blaming game. both of you shld sit down and discuss what are your options. Speak to MP may help in expediting the application. Did you ask HDB the reason for the long wait? But I guess if you have a house under your name its kinda difficult to get a rented house fm HDB.

 

[xiaodaisy]

u said u had shares of ur late father's house , is ur name as the 2nd name in the house while ur mom is on the first ?

why cant any of your siblings take over ur name instead?

explain to your mom on ur current situation and she will understand and let ur other siblings take over it ..

after all tat settle , if ur really keen to get those rental flat , go down HDB every week !!

going MP dont help much but u can still go so they will help u write a letter ..

ask HDB where is the more empty places that are faster to get

good luck !

 

[missymelody]

i used to be like u, exact situation where my hubby pushes everything to me when i had enough of his mother, i was helpless, not working, baby was only few months old when i moved over, kept dragging on the buying flat issue, couldnt rent a flat from hub due to income, went to see mp, went to appeal hdb many times, i couldn't take it, my hubby busy working, can't help, i was so helpless, so upset, i posted here before but i cleared the thread due to personal reasons at first, some mummies and daddies here know my problem..

i was so pissed off, i told my hubby i could no longer take it, so he ask me handle myself, so since he say handle myself, i went to house hunting myself, went to apply the loans for him, and ask him which location he wants, view the flat myself, do everything myself, i was telling myself not to tell my mil and just move out on the day our flat come, but too bad, she did more and more things and said more and more rubbish which i couldn't take it and i CRIED and tell my hubby how upset i am, he heard what his mum said, and he know i gave him lots of face not to quarrel with mil when I'm not the type of weak woman who will let u bully, so he told me to move back, and there i pack my stuffs and bring baby home on the day itself when my mil went to work, and i carry on house hunting till now my house is coming this oct.


sometimes i ask myself, why marry him? cos i love him thats y marry him. its not his fault, is his mum after all, what can we expect much? anything u can pm me. i can share my story with u, i think u are not as bad as what i got treated....

 

[waka]

not I don want to talk. but everytime we talk sure end up quarreling. he will say I'm not understanding and all kind of stuff.. y I can't just be like others? My friend have nv need to worry about home and kids. I not wanting tat kind of good life. I just want him to setter it with me. I just ask him to ask around or ask his friend from malaysia to see if got cheap houses to move over temporary. But he don't want. I don know is it because he doesn't want to lose his face or he really want to setter his personal debt first.

I call hdb so many time. they just keep saying they need time. when I ask what tk them so long they just keep saying tat they need to see thur my case. They will highlight urgent but still they tk 2 months and cannot give an answer on weather if my application is approved or not? I believe 2 months is long enough for them to check thur all my document. coz the pervious application I do they just take a month tp reply. I have go to mp ard 1 week plus ago but still no reply.

My father flat was ÷ by 5 shares. my mum is the main shares holder and the rest of us get a very small percentage like 6% only. I talk to my mum abt this and she agree to sell. But it take her a yr already and she just let the matters hanging there. I can't always keep pestering her to sell. How will relative think and talk about my action. Nobody help me to look after my 8mth old baby if not I will keep gg down to hdb. it very troblesome for me to bring a baby there. Even if my sibling is to take over my shares, I still not eillgible to get arenter. I have to wait for 3yrs after deposit of my shares to apply. I go down this time to apply for a renter flt was also with the help of mr khaw boon wan. But it not a promise case too. If they don allow at least let me know eariler so I can plan for my daughter school. now the teacher in her pre school don left a sit for her coz we can't confirm if we be moving anot.

 

[missymelody]

understand your frustrations, sorry to ask this, but is both of your salary below 1.5k? cos i know now hdb rent flat is quite strict, and i think u can go find hdb mp the guy at sebawang directly, heard that he helps situation by situation. if not worse to worse, rent a flat first? or a room? no choice.. don't feel so down.. u have us mummies around..

 

[waka]

i used to be like you, exact situation where my hubby pushes everything to me when i had enough of his mother, i was helpless, not working, baby was only few months old when i moved over, kept dragging on the buying flat issue, couldnt rent a flat from hub due to income, went to see mp, went to appeal hdb many times, i couldn't take it, my hubby busy working, can't help, i was so helpless, so upset, i posted here before but i cleared the thread due to personal reasons at first, some mummies and daddies here know my problem..

i was so pissed off, i told my hubby i could no longer take it, so he ask me handle myself, so since he say handle myself, i went to house hunting myself, went to apply the loans for him, and ask him which location he wants, view the flat myself, do everything myself, i was telling myself not to tell my mother in law and just move out on the day our flat come, but too bad, she did more and more things and said more and more rubbish which i couldn't take it and i CRIED and tell my hubby how upset i am, he heard what his mum said, and he know i gave him lots of face not to quarrel with mother in law when I'm not the type of weak woman who will let you bully, so he told me to move back, and there i pack my stuffs and bring baby home on the day itself when my mother in law went to work, and i carry on house hunting till now my house is coming this oct.


sometimes i ask myself, why marry him? cos i love him thats y marry him. its not his fault, is his mum after all, what can we expect much? anything you can pm me. i can share my story with you, i think you are not as bad as what i got treated....

Hi missy melody,

It good to have someone in the same shoe as you and know how you feel. I was treated very badly too. but I keep telling myself to tahan. But I really cannot tahan. and with our peanuts income it impossible to buy a resales now. I'm at lose. I really hate myself for loving him. I just want him to tell me. Don't worry I will get us out here soon. tat all. I will help him to do whatever I can to get a house even if he told me don't worry. He nv understand my feeling staying at home with 2 young kids and have to face 9 black face everyday. He think by locking myself in the room I wouldn't be bully. But how?
My daughter always ask me y I lock them in the room and doesn't let her go out. she can only go out to use the bath room. And if my youngest in laws he will beat my daughter for fun. he will slam her and make her cry and as a mum I cannot do anything. I was so frustated. I hate myself so much tat I want to kill myself. I hate his whole family. Btw.. I'm dealing with not just father and mother in law. I dealing with his sibling too. total 13 of us staying in a 3 room flat.... and all of them exclue my husband hate us to core.

 

[AstroDad]

HDB needs time to look thru all cases. U should think of alternative arrangement should ur appeal is rejected by HDB. Settle ur child in a childcare centre first. Then look for a room to rent

 

[waka]

Yes is mr khaw tat ask hdb to look into my case of renter. But no promise case. Without OT my husband income is only 800 b4 Cpf. but if with OT is more then 1500. But HDB did say tat OT is not included as gross. So beside the 6% shares I don have other reason y I cannot gt renter. I have try to find a renter room as renter flat in open market now is so expensive. but nobody want us . They give me all slot of reason. They say got kids they don want. they say got kids must increase rent. they say got kids will spoil their funiture. some. don allow to cook.

 

[waka]

@ astrodad my plan is very simple. if they really don approve me then I will just move to malaysia. coz I can't afford to stay in singapore. that is y I want my husband to ask around now. but he don't want to do tat.

 

[AstroDad]

Yes is mr khaw that ask hdb to look into my case of renter. But no promise case. Without OT my husband income is only 800 before Cpf. but if with OT is more then 1500. But HDB did say that OT is not included as gross. So beside the 6% shares I dont have other reason y I cannot gt renter. I have try to find a renter room as renter flat in open market now is so expensive. but nobody want us . They give me all slot of reason. They say got kids they dont want. they say got kids must increase rent. they say got kids will spoil their funiture. some. dont allow to cook.

Ask HDB if u're eligible to rent a flat from HDB. It is much cheaper than renting from open market.

 

[waka]

Ask HDB if u're eligible to rent a flat from HDB. It is much cheaper than renting from open market.

That is the answer I waiting for from them. if I'm eligible anot. tat all.