I need a place to rant.... the hatred is growing!!!!

[Carabella]

Dear all, I have been reading the forums and I know a lot of people hate their mils! Me too! I really cannot take it!!!

She is a tough nut to crack. I have a 6 mo baby and she doesn't know how to take care of her yet she is jealous that I am letting my own mom take care of her when I am going for holiday soon... So I decided to bring baby along with us for the holiday! And she got angry and told me off for bringing her so far away! Every little thing she gets jealous!

When hub and I got our own place to stay, she was jealous and told me off and scolded me for 'psychoing' hub to live apart. I kept quiet then.

Just about 10 months back when I was expecting my first baby she brought up the topic again n scolded me for staying apart. This time I told her off nicely that it's best to stay apart. I want to have my own space and baby needs her own space. Of course she then told me off again and say that I was mean and didnt respect her ...I really wanted to tell her I need some sanity...

Te problem is that I realize after my baby is born she gets jealous over her son doting his own daughter, jealous over the son doting me more! And I just hate her more and more! To the extent that I am thinking of divorcing my hubby so that I won't see her face anymore.

I did have a good talk w my hubby over his own mother but hubby's logic is let her rant all she wants and we will just decide what is best for baby and our own family. She cannot stop us just because she is jealous!

In fact because of her jealousy, she has already caused her eldest son to divorce.

Nowadays she acts so pitiful infront of my hubby. And I really worry one day I might end up having to stay w her under the same roof! She still cannot take it that I manage to convince hub to live apart. And whenever she sees me, in front of hubby she will treat me v nice but behind my hubby, she will talk loudly at me and scold me for little things that I did! The mental pressure she is giving me is tremendous!
She doesn't treat me badly infront of the son. And she wants my daughter to respect her and play w her but my daughter doesn't like her. Baby cries whenever she carries!
she force me to call her mummy when I called her mother. I refuse at first and got scolded for not calling her mummy. And when my hub calls my mum "mummy", she got jealous and told her son cannot CALL my mum "mummy"!!!
What kind of ridiculous logic is that?????

Now my baby learns to babble and her first word is "mama"! I am so happy to hear that so i told everyone and she insist my baby to babble "baba"!!!! Everytime she comes to my place she will tell my baby to say "baba"!!! What the hell!?!?

There are a lot of other issues w her... Now how do I stop myself from hating her so much? I don't want to cause a rift between hub and me, but at the same time I really can't stand her!
My fil is a v nice person but I think he got influenced by mil too. I will really break down if I have to stay w her... I even have nightmares of her forcin is to divorce or stay w her!!!
That's how the bil and sil got divorced anyway....

What should I do all the mamas and papas? (

 

[yummygums]

You are not alone dear. But at least you got your own house..

 

[JazN]

You need not worry you'll need to move back with her since you now have your own place. If both u & hub have decided together what is best for both of you then you need not bother too much about your MIL.

Avoid talking to her. If she requests for alone time, say it's time to feed your daughter, etc, give excuses.

You are the parent of your daughter thus you decide what is best for her.

Tell your hub this is creating mental stress for you how else can he help to "settle" his mum. If you're still breastfeeding mentioned this has affected your milk supply.

 

[Carabella]

Dear ladies!
I have to worry about it coz his mother is v good at psychoing his sons. The bil divorced because the mother went to secretly buy another house w my bil so that they can all stay together and forcing them to sell their matrimonial home. My sil wanted to move out and get 2 units of 2 bedder apartments for eah of them so they don't need to face each other everyday. So mil decide to do it faster than the sil and kept her in the dark. She only knew much later that they have to move to another place in a month's time! She was totally fuming and the marriage ended just like that!
In that process, they also wanted me to stay in that so call big house w them an rent out my own place. But I managed to convince my hub not to.
So u see.... She is that scheming!

U know sometimes I feel so evil that I wish she would be dead.... I totally lost respect for her after the incident and to my disgust, she was so happy they divorced!
She even told me the sil was evil!?!? I feel like telling her she is the evil witch! She told me dils have no authority to tell their sons what to do!!!! I kept quiet. I just say better stay apart la then no such problem Lo....

 

[Mandy Wong]

your mother in law sounds like she got mental problem. But well, i guess she is just very jealous lah. she wants to keep her sons close with her and she felt that the DILs are snatching her sons away from her. You have to make your stand very very firmly and not let her push you around. Since she is so scheming, you have to outwit her too. Never ever let her come in between you and your hub.

 

[peppermint]

Hi Carabella,

Your mother in law sounded just like my mother in law.. both devils. If you have read my thread.

The one thing you should NOT do is to walk out of your marriage, it is not worth it especially if it's because of a MIL. In fact, it will make your MIL a happier person. She will call for a celebration, a makeover for herself, the house and what-have-you. Trust me.

Sounds like your hubby knows what sort of person his mother is, and how she is treating you and I am sure he is with you on this. It is just that there's nothing much he can do but just to stay apart. Neither do you want him to disown his mother, even though I have secretly wish for that to happen and even wish for my MIL to kick the bucket immediately , but it is not going to happen.

Stay firm and stay on in the fight.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

Think your mil is totally crazy!! Best is to avoid talking to her as much as you can. Does she pop by your house very often? Better not give her your house keys too and try not to let her know like what upcoming programmes you guys will be having since she is so scheming, who knows, once she knew she may be plotting to spoil the mood. And if you got an extra room in your house, better make full use of it, in case she suggests of moving in with u guys!

 

[Carisella]

Lucky I don't stay with my MIL currently, cos she also one of a kind.. I'm currently staying with my mom until my BTO is ready for us to move it..
Your MIL really very sick in the head.