If you were the wife...

[jal]

My gal friend who is single AND available confided in me that she once went swimming with her male colleague who is MARRIED & has KIDS. I was stunned when she said that & did not probe further. I do not know if his wife knows about this.
Now, if you are the wife of that male colleague, & you know BEFOREHAND that your hubby is going swimming with another woman, would you allow it???
And if you only find out AFTER that your hubby went swimming with another woman, how would you react?

Last but not least, where would you draw the line at male-female out-of-office interaction???

 

[Triquetra]

I am not possessive but I get jealous quite easily.
I definitely won't allow it.
I will feel betrayed and taken for granted if I found out later. I believe in "treat people the way you want to be treated" and I don't think my husband will like it if I go swimming with another male colleague.

It's understandable if that guy goes with another guy friend but why would he rather go with a female colleague instead of asking the wife? -_-

 

[SunShine07]

Twist his ear 360degree, kick his ass, punch his face! lol

cannot accept that, and he think nothing wrong then i will do the same....wear bikini somemore!

 

[jasobias]

hmmm..if let me know earlier i wldnt mind.I dont get tht jealous.But if went behind my back secretly then i wld run out n set myself up with a hot date too..hahhahha.
I used to tell my hubby let me know if u r having an affair so i can have one too.He thinks i am half crazy anyways.
But no hubby shld cheat on his wife.If dont love her anymore shld just let her go.Better than subject her to such an insult.

 

[SunShine07]

But no hubby shld cheat on his wife.If dont love her anymore shld just let her go.Better than subject her to such an insult.

yes manz...i agreed totally with uancing_tongue:

 

[apollo]

i'll slap him from left to right and from right to left!!!

go swimming together? why not go to bed together?!

sry to say this but i think your friend also very buay zhi dong!

 

[apollo]

hmmm..if let me know earlier i wldnt mind.I dont get tht jealous.But if went behind my back secretly then i wld run out and set myself up with a hot date too..hahhahha.
I used to tell my hubby let me know if you are having an affair so i can have one too.He thinks i am half crazy anyways.
But no hubby shld cheat on his wife.If dont love her anymore shld just let her go.Better than subject her to such an insult.

totally agree with u!!!

the men only think that they can have an affair outside but pls lo, women nowadays can be financially independent too!!

 

[Funz]

It depends on how they ended up going swimming together. Was it a specially arranged date or was it in the spirit if getting some exercise.

Reason I said that was cos I went swimming with a male colleague previously too. I was single then and he was married with kids. I used to swim like 2 to 3x a week after work at a club near my work place and he was also a member there so end up he oso went swimming on some evenings with me.

Really at that time never occur to me whether his wife will like it or not cos there really was no ulterior motive at all. I have no idea if he told his wife he was swimming with a female colleague. We dun talk about these, our conversation usually revolves around work and company gossips.

 

[stonston]

Actually if my hb told me beforehand, I wouldn't mind, esp if I know the girl

By the way, I also very close to my male collegue (he's like my best friend). Can go out shopping/lunch/bowling/clubbing/prawning/suntanning with him. He used to send me home everyday after work when I haven bought my car. My hb is always kept updated of where we are. Sometimes we were mistaken as a couple when we go out also but we'll just stare at each other & laugh like mad cos it's impossible.

 

[serenelm]

no way, go swimming wif her??!! if my hubby feels uncomfortable abt me gg swimming alone wif a male colleague, then he shouldn't be doing it too lor... so either know beforehand or after oso cannot!!! me very domineering de... heheheh

 

[meiteoh]

My gal friend who is single AND available confided in me that she once went swimming with her male colleague who is MARRIED & has KIDS. I was stunned when she said that & did not probe further. I do not know if his wife knows about this.
Now, if you are the wife of that male colleague, & you know BEFOREHAND that your hubby is going swimming with another woman, would you allow it???
And if you only find out AFTER that your hubby went swimming with another woman, how would you react?

Last but not least, where would you draw the line at male-female out of work interaction???

It depends on a few factors:

1) Where they alone?
2) Where did they go swimming - public or private space (eg, public pool or guy's condo pool, etc)?
3) Did the hubby tell his wife about it?

If my hubby told me about it, I wouldn't mind - after all, he is entitled to his own circle of friends, female or otherwise.

As for male-female out of work interaction, there are boundaries that need to be set in place. Meeting up for a drink, hanging out often - those are fine - but when it comes to things like confiding in your colleague regarding your personal problems, well, those things can get a bit problematic.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we women have the tendency of forming intimate emotional bonds with people we confide our problems with. With members of the same sex, it's okay but with those of the opposite sex, well...one thing can lead to another very easily. Besides, such an emotional bond is something that husband and wife should be privy to FIRST. It's okay to open up your heart and soul to a male friend but make sure that your hubby gets first priority instead of another man.

Oh, AND the same goes for men and their wives.

 

[snowbear]

My gal friend who is single AND available confided in me that she once went swimming with her male colleague who is MARRIED & has KIDS. I was stunned when she said that & did not probe further. I do not know if his wife knows about this.
Now, if you are the wife of that male colleague, & you know BEFOREHAND that your hubby is going swimming with another woman, would you allow it???
And if you only find out AFTER that your hubby went swimming with another woman, how would you react?

Last but not least, where would you draw the line at male-female out of work interaction???

My hubby went swimming with his female colleague. We used to work at the same place and i know the people there well. The first time he went with her he only told me after he went but i also didn't feel jealous or anything coz maybe i know the people he hangs out with. Sometimes other colleagues go along so i think it's ok. I guess if it's someone i dont know well then i'd not be happy...

 

[Stan]

If the senario involves running instead of swimming, i think i wont mind at all...
But somehow swimming is a bit funny.. maybe is the skimpy swimwear?

 

[JusMum]

erm .. it depends on who is going .. i guess if 1 female and 1 male going all alone , doesnt sounds nice too rite .. what if im also going all alone with my male fren .. what if his fren saw , doesnt look nice rite , as im marry , if not i think its ok lar ..

 

[shopaholic]

I would not like it even if he asked me before that, not to mention that I was only informed after. I think it's too personal to go swimming alone with the opposite sex. If he had been seeing this lady at work for so many hours, what reasons would he have to wanna spend an hour or 2 more with her after work? Shdnt he be more keen to spend after-work hours with his family?

Dont think hubby would do this. I trust he knows better!

 

[chelsea_tan]

I think you should advise your friend. Men are weak and they may think that there's nothing wrong in doing so but.....they may develop feelings towards each other not to mention swimming together. I trusted my man and his single colleague so much that I don't see anything wrong whenever they are out meeting clients, travelling overseas together but in the end they both betrayed me.... we have moved on but the hurt and pain is still in me. Please get your friend to put herself in the wife's position and how would she feels?

 

[jal]

I guess the reason why my gal friend went swimming with a married colleague is because she was looking out for a bf. And as she devotes a lot of time to her work, she has no time to socialise outside of her work circle. I suppose in this case, her colleague is considered 'easy acquaintance'??? I hope she no longer goes for such initmate activities with a person of another gender...

If I were still single & available, I definitely would NOT do such a thing. This is crossing the boundary already, whether one is wearing a one piece swimsuit or bikini.

 

[jal]

i'll slap him from left to right and from right to left!!!

go swimming together? why not go to bed together?!

sry to say this but i think your friend also very buay zhi dong!

Regina, I can already visualize you slapping people RTL & LTR!!! :tlaugh:

 

[stonston]

If the senario involves running instead of swimming, i think i wont mind at all...
But somehow swimming is a bit funny.. maybe is the skimpy swimwear?

I think the type of swimwear chosen also may play a part.

I always wear those black ugly one piece suits when I swim with male colleagues. Only wear my nice nice 2 pc swimwear when hb is ard

 

[Ting]

honestly, i wont like it.
i mind, n im sure bf minds it very much as well.