irresponsible baby's father?

[angelwendy]

2 weeks ago he went out twice and both nights came back at 3 am.

last week once only back at 2 am +.

This week if he goes out again and back at late night I do not think I should keep quiet. Just like you suggest have to talk to him. He is not single anymore. I sometimes think ang mo's takes longer to be matured. They are into late parties at nights grrrr! drives me mad but hopefully not doing bad things.

Oh ur hubby is ang mo... because last time my client hubby also ang mo... they like party also even when they have kids... i think maybe is time for u to talk to him... now is the chance to be more stay home... but i think it depends too.. because not all ang mo like that...

 

[pkshl]

are you mummies usually the one waking up in the middle of the nite when the baby cries or wants to feed?
i find it a lil unfair when i too have to work the next day but im always the one waking early to look after the kid

im embarassed to say i can't wake up for my son night feeds. Is always my hubby who wakes up for our son night feeds. in fact, my hubby sometimes 'blame' me cos he's so tired the next day since both of us got to work. So we take turns for our son's night feed.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

2 weeks ago he went out twice and both nights came back at 3 am.

last week once only back at 2 am +.

This week if he goes out again and back at late night I do not think I should keep quiet. Just like you suggest have to talk to him. He is not single anymore. I sometimes think ang mo's takes longer to be matured. They are into late parties at nights grrrr! drives me mad but hopefully not doing bad things.

My hubby also lidat, during the 1st night of my delivery, i was also alone in the hospital while the the other lady next to me had her hubby with her throughout the night. My own hubby went out with his friends to drink, so-called celebrate... -_- but next day he still came to visit me and brought me lunch.

Now, he also every night go out, he will leave the house at ard 8+ then only be home at 2-3am, even when im preggy with my 2nd now and due in nov.

I had quarrelled with him alot of times regarding this, coz i really dun like the fact that every night its just me putting my dd to slp. But he always said coz he had to discuss things with his friends and those business partners. I duno if its the pregnancy hormones or im just being paranoid, but i kept thinking its more than that... haiz....

 

[apollo]

i used to think that men cant handle babies well. but aft ds was borned, my hub can actually handle him very well! he was the 1st who learnt hw to bath ds. he wll help to make FM, change ds's diaper (he can change diaper very well). cos during my preg, i told him alrdy, he HAS to help! no matter he noe hw to anot, he also have to learn cos the bb belongs to him too. cos i'm a 1st time mummy too, i also nd to learn, so we shd learn tgt instead of me learning alone.

best is let ur hub hands on. once he hands on, and succeed, he will help u more. since he dote on u, i believe he loves and dote ur girl as much. sometimes maybe he didnt try b4, so he dun dare to. give him a chance to learn. =)

 

[apollo]

im embarassed to say i can't wake up for my son night feeds. Is always my hubby who wakes up for our son night feeds. in fact, my hubby sometimes 'blame' me cos he's so tired the next day since both of us got to work. So we take turns for our son's night feed.

HAHA! u're not the only one. my hub has been the one who wake up for ds's night feeds since 2 mth old. LOL!

 

[rainbow123]

im embarassed to say i can't wake up for my son night feeds. Is always my hubby who wakes up for our son night feeds. in fact, my hubby sometimes 'blame' me cos he's so tired the next day since both of us got to work. So we take turns for our son's night feed.

Ai yo , no need to be embarrassed . My hubby wake up most of the time for the feeds . He say let me sleep .
Infact , he lose a few Kgs during the first few month , better than slimming centre .:001_302:
Change diapers and he feed my daughter better than I do .
My daughter turn into "flower cat" everytime i feed her cereal , but hubby feed her is neater and faster .
Only thing he does not know is bathing and I also forbid him to bath Baby even though he say he want to learn . I scare BB drop inside the water ...:001_302:.

I think men say they cannot handle is really BULL-S*IT . All these are skillset that can be picked up. It is if they want to learn or not ..
Talking about that , maybe let my hubby bath BB since she know how to sit in the bath tub already... :tlaugh:

 

[pkshl]

Ai yo , no need to be embarrassed . My hubby wake up most of the time for the feeds . He say let me sleep .
Infact , he lose a few Kgs during the first few month , better than slimming centre .:001_302:
Change diapers and he feed my daughter better than I do .
My daughter turn into "flower cat" everytime i feed her cereal , but hubby feed her is neater and faster .
Only thing he does not know is bathing and I also forbid him to bath Baby even though he say he want to learn . I scare baby drop inside the water ...:001_302:.

I think men say they cannot handle is really BULL-S*IT . All these are skillset that can be picked up. It is if they want to learn or not ..
Talking about that , maybe let my hubby bath baby since she know how to sit in the bath tub already... :tlaugh:

hey u r so right! from how i see my hubby handle my son, i tink he does a better job den me. he practically does everything except bath him, change of diaper, prepare milk( he tells me how much to feed), feed milk, after i bath my son, my hubby will dress him. Night feeds also he wakes up until 1day he ask me can we take turns cos he got panda eyes & cant concentrate at work cos too tired..in fact he also lost weight after that...

 

[angelwendy]

My hubby also lidat, during the 1st night of my delivery, i was also alone in the hospital while the the other lady next to me had her hubby with her throughout the night. My own hubby went out with his friends to drink, so-called celebrate... -_- but next day he still came to visit me and brought me lunch.

Now, he also every night go out, he will leave the house at around 8+ then only be home at 2-3am, even when im preggy with my 2nd now and due in nov.

I had quarrelled with him alot of times regarding this, coz i really dont like the fact that every night its just me putting my dear daughter to sleep. But he always said coz he had to discuss things with his friends and those business partners. I dont know if its the pregnancy hormones or im just being paranoid, but i kept thinking its more than that... sigh....

sorry to hear that.. but to be honest... if for me i will get very angry.. because i feel that having children or baby is not u alone... it need to have a balanace..

 

[paperger85]

I think it is the same for many men.

My husband is also one who is afraid of handling our girl. I have been taking care of her since she was born. My husband tends to panic the moment our girl cry.

 

[lylie]

I SERIOUSLY dont't think that is the real reason for their divorce ...

Too shallow!

!00% + 1 agree with you.

Whatudu, the man claimed she tired him and she claimed he wanted her to breed. which causes unhappiness in their marriage. As a friend to her, all we can do is not to stir things up. It's not pleasant to probe her if she doesn't want to divulge further. Sometimes, they just want a listener to 'side' them. For me, I listened but I dont't want to put myself in this complicating issue because I feel both of them are not honest to start off with. Both have their own 'stories' to tell.:nah:

 

[Jovy]

My hubby also lidat, during the 1st night of my delivery, i was also alone in the hospital while the the other lady next to me had her hubby with her throughout the night. My own hubby went out with his friends to drink, so-called celebrate... -_- but next day he still came to visit me and brought me lunch.

Now, he also every night go out, he will leave the house at around 8+ then only be home at 2-3am, even when im preggy with my 2nd now and due in nov.

I had quarrelled with him alot of times regarding this, coz i really dont like the fact that every night its just me putting my dear daughter to sleep. But he always said coz he had to discuss things with his friends and those business partners. I dont know if its the pregnancy hormones or im just being paranoid, but i kept thinking its more than that... sigh....

Sounds like we are dealing the same personality lol. Yeah dealing with friends, clients talking business blah blah. How about us?? With our baby? My hubby was not like that though when I am preggy as I follow him but now can not not fair to my baby to drag him along. Haiz! What to do?

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

sorry to hear that.. but to be honest... if for me i will get very angry.. because i feel that having children or baby is not you alone... it need to have a balanace..

Of coz I'm angry and I had quarreled with him many times over this. But when I cool down and think about it,it's also not healthy to keep quarrelling. So nowadays I just totally Bo chap him.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

Sounds like we are dealing the same personality lol. Yeah dealing with friends, clients talking business blah blah. How about us?? With our baby? My hubby was not like that though when I am preggy as I follow him but now can not not fair to my baby to drag him along. sigh! What to do?

During my 1st pregnancy I also followed him wherever he went, and if to compare,I'm much happier during then. But this time round coz with number 1 in toll,I cun possibly follow anymore and furthermore I had more pregnancy symptoms this time rou d...
Well,at least I'm able to witness my girl's everyday growth.

 

[vivienshoshanna]

Maybe you should teach how to care for the baby or maybe attend classes in which you, your husband and the baby could interact/bond.

 

[angelwendy]

Of coz I'm angry and I had quarreled with him many times over this. But when I cool down and think about it,it's also not healthy to keep quarrelling. So nowadays I just totally Bo chap him.

haha.. i find that sometime bo chap is the best... no need angry.. no quarrel.. peace...

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

haha.. i find that sometime bo chap is the best... no need angry.. no quarrel.. peace...

True,and Bo chap will help to change the situation. Coz when my hubby see me hack care he started to think y I never ask him anything like before.so now he like will auto tell me what he did,who he was with,where they go etc. Then today my shrink also talked to him and he is trying to talk to me more le.

 

[paperger85]

My husband is one of those who will not lift a finger to help.

Since my girl was born, I have been trying to engage him in her care, to get him to help change her diaper, wipe her, or bathe her but he don't like to do it at all. He always claims that he is afraid he drop her in water, put on her diaper wrongly or don't wipe her properly.

We have argued many times because of this and my mother in law sides her son coz she says that his dad also did not lift a finger to help when she had her 3 kids.

Now, I have learnt to let things go and don't give a damn.

 

[Jovy]

During my 1st pregnancy I also followed him wherever he went, and if to compare,I'm much happier during then. But this time round coz with number 1 in toll,I cun possibly follow anymore and furthermore I had more pregnancy symptoms this time rou d...
Well,at least I'm able to witness my girl's everyday growth.

Yeah that is atleast better than following him at all times. Better to be close with your girl . Haiz! hopefully they will realize what they have been missing soon

 

[Jovy]

My husband is one of those who will not lift a finger to help.

Since my girl was born, I have been trying to engage him in her care, to get him to help change her diaper, wipe her, or bathe her but he dont't like to do it at all. He always claims that he is afraid he drop her in water, put on her diaper wrongly or dont't wipe her properly.

We have argued many times because of this and my mother in law sides her son coz she says that his dad also did not lift a finger to help when she had her 3 kids.

Now, I have learnt to let things go and dont't give a damn.

Wow! that is so nice of you. Eh why even in law get involve? I hate it like that.

 

[Phyllis15]

I think its quite normal if he's a first time dad, my hubby also did the same when i had my gal 5 yrs back and it was really quite unbearable cos i got to do everything myself and he just do whatever he like and goes out with his friend as and when he wants. He only really starts to realise that he's a dad when my gal is 2 yr plus and now they are on better terms than me and my gal. As for now, he's better prepared for my boy (4 months old) and can take care of both of them on his own after some training. But most importantly is the mindset and you must give him time.