Irritating in-laws - letting off steam

[quincy1986]

i think my fil has childish habits.
like just a few days ago, i was making soft boiled eggs for my breakfast.
as i was peeling away the egg shell, he had to come next to me, observe a while
and say "overcooked."
i had simply grabbed a spoon to scrape out the egg
he had to say "use such a big spoon for such a small egg."

then he walked off. but as he walked off, he had to laugh to himself.
he finished his breakfast and so i am taking mine. did i ever ask him for his opinion?
how does he even know how i wanted my egg to be like?
i have no idea why he finds it amusing to irritate me.

above is just an example of how he tries to be irritating.

on many occassions my hb also finds him irritating and will chide him a little.
but that was my hb's own doing. i did not complain to him or anything.
then recently sil told us he is having depression.

i can see that my hb is also irritated by him but cannot chide him anymore.
for my hb it is easier to bear with my fil because he has grown up in this condition.
but for me, every now and then i really do feel like scolding him.
i am the sort if i keep all my anger built up inside i will break down.

i keep asking myself why is there such a person on this earth?

 

[tcmy]

Lol, if i were you.. i'll go crazy too.. no idea why nowadays ILs are SO irritating n childish.. maybe ur fil need attention, thats y he make such a comment ba..

My fil almost same as urs, i used to tell him back what i was doing.. but now, i would rather keep quiet, smile n nodd my head. It'll be damn irritating if i reply, he will act like his has all knowledge n criticized pple.. but from what he say-mostly are rubbish_duno act know those kind.

My fil can complain whatever they can think of.. by just reading newspaper, he can make alot of noise in just one article.. as for watching news, he will be like - woah! U see those..blah blah blah - as if he first time see news like this.. phrase to describe- 'Frog living in the well'.

Another bad habit of him was betting.. always spending his money on 4D/TOTO, when knowing hes lacking of cash, he tends to borrow-(hokkien: tei chui zai). Worst is everytime bo tio, he will be ranting in anger those who didnt buy n say 'see lah! Ur numbers open up at first prize! Ask u buy u dun buy! If u buy, by now u will win....' n he start calculating the money.. Always n standard the few words.. "if i tio, i buy this this that that.. bring u all go overseas" - but truth is when he tio he keep quiet awhile den tell everyone n he will spent all his winning onto it again n history repeats.

Hes super money minded, a small issue regards to $ he kpkb n keep counting. Usually me n my hubby every once a month would bring the whole family to eat something better instead of daily rice n noodles, bringing them to a slightly expensive place e.g japanese restaurant, fil will make alot of noise 'wah! One plate of this cost so much..blah blah blah..' Gosh! Not his $ he also care.. going out with him will feel very disgrace de lor..

 

[quincy1986]

yea tcmy
omgosh~ your fil so similar like my fil
they can be kaki
your fil also stay in cck?

about the food, last night we ordered delivery and wanted to to include him also.
but he dont want. also the same as yours, not he pay one, me and hubby share share
he keep commenting the food "so expensive ar"
but before that, food was late. supposed to be delivered by 8pm.
he saw that i look so hungry, he laughed. also dont know whats so funny??
he say "must be 830 then come." but actual time 815 =.=
while we were eating, he keep circling around the dining table, "whats this? how much is this?"
before our food came he already had dinner with his friends at nearby kopitiam

i so irritated last night. i look at my hubby say "naughty ones cannot eat."

 

[sgmel]

Wa, seemed like both of your in-law are always giving you problem huh. So did you talk to them after so much problem? I had the same issue with my mil. I always walk out the room without calling her, then she will niam. I just hope she will chased me back my house one day!

 

[quincy1986]

i used to greet them every morning then they look very irritated so i also cannot be bothered anymore.

when my fil try to get on my nerves, like what tcmy mentioned, i realised better let it be
i tried to answer him back, he become more irritating the next day
so most of the time i'm like ''orh / um / ok ''

i often suspect they retired already nothing better to do
so i become their form of entertainment

 

[tcmy]

Quincy, if our fil become kaki.. there will be never ending story, things might get worse too.. yup, staying with my ILs at cck. u? Also staying near cck?

Lol, things happened today again.. fil reach hm after work, hands holding on the letters from the letter box.. well theres letter to me regarding on my bb's account, guess what he say? "Wah! Ur cash cheque for bbonus come in again.. got money already hor.." its so damn obvious on the letter states about bank info, den whatever letters that has my bb name or my name, he will say is $.. gosh! If he even dares to open my letters, i cfm scold de loh.. no idea why in his mind always $$.. super sian loh.

Another thing on tonights dinner.. the preparation of rice is slightly more than ytd due to some reasons, n he started singing* again.. well, cook more = niam, cook less = also niam.. if dun cook = free music that lasts for a week..

Sgmel,
Yup, did tell them about it.. but somehow wasted my breath on them.. say le they niam more.. den more problems coming up in no time.. everyday only can hmm arh orh okay.. the more u say, the buzz drags longer.. before giving birth i did greet them every morning.. now, forget it bah.. they dun seems to have such greetings in the family-(unlike mine, maybe different background)..

Just wanna faster buy a house to move out.. no one in the family can tahan even my sil shake head..

 

[sgmel]

My husband also don't have have this greeting things in his family. But he seem like to add salt to the situation. He will say: why never call mummy. Like wtf, I already told him. If you want me to stay with you, I will not call your parents.I just dislike them alot la. Don't know what to say. lol. now I'm not talking to his mum or dad anymore. Hope our house will come soon. But sadly have to Wait till 2015 1st quater: (

 

[tcmy]

I seriously going crazy.. usually no matter how stressful we mummies r going through, all we need is a few encourage sentence so to feel relieve n put down all stress for the day from hubby.

How do i put this? Im disappointed, stressed n breaking down already. After all those craps my ILs gave me.. Everyday hoping that hubby would help me up on taking care of Clara, always ended up giving excuses of tired from work.. den next moment he was surfing the net/watching movie/playing psp. Whenever i ask for his help, he will show me those being irritated face as if i've been calling him every min. Recently, same situation.. he said angrily that its my responsibilities to take care of Clara. True, but i was so hurt to hear that. He's only caring about himself, he wont ask me hows everything. I just simply wants a little comfort from him.. how to stop his haiz n tsk?

 

[quincy1986]

sgmel: then u also "orh ok lo" haha.

tcmy: if u got the chance, cry if u want to. swipe your hb card haha. since your hb says its your job, nvm, jus tk care. the kids will grow more towards your side. when the kids know how to rebutt already, then he will know.

 

[tcmy]

Thats why sometimes when my hubby carrys Clara, she will give a grumpy face haha.. afterwards he pass her to me, Clara will smile n fall asleep in my arms..

 

[quincy1986]

hahaha. orbie quek?

 

[tcmy]

Lol. Nowadays when he carry her, he always ask me to see clara's expression.. well i've been taking care of her so long.. what kind of expression i didnt see before neh..

Quincy.. whr u staying?

 

[vivitan]

Whenever your father or mother in law try to pass remarks, just IGNORE them or ACT BLUR...
This is what my gal friend taught me...
Dun get upset by their words or actions...
Though I say...Sigh Sigh!
I am always upset by my hubby's insane mother

 

[tcmy]

Yea, no matter how we hm ah orh or ignore them will still the same.. everyday worse den 大悲咒.. true that they care, but sometimes really too much comments n remarks. Esp words that can really hurt a person. No wonder my SIL will tend to over night at friends house every fri n sat. Now even the youngest BIL give back attitude at them. Serve them right.

 

[vivitan]

Precisely, if their own children whom they gave birth and iive together for years cannot get along with them, how well to expect daughter in laws to get along with them?
My husband's siblings all dun care about their mother and chuck them with my husband and he has got no choice but to put his mother to stay in our house. All thre daughter unmarried (Maybe no guys want them...hahaha) only know how to come meddle in my family issues - damnit!
Even I want to put my child in full day childcare they also want meddle, say should just let their mother look after blah blah..
I will not allow my child to become a spoil brat under the care of their mother!
I rather send her to full day childcare to learn and mingle with other kids than with an old heck at home.
Fever cannot bath, flu, cannot bath - then how, let the germs mutiply and make the child more sick isit?
If she want stay in my household just shut up and I won't be bothered with her.
I guess no one out there will be in a worst off scenario than me.

 

[tcmy]

Wah.. fever n flu also cant bath? What kind of reason is that? Ur kid how old le?

Mmm, really want quickly find house move out.. their comments, before n after marriage/give birth is totally 360degree change de.. being speechless, they complain to my hubby i dun answer back.. when i reply, they say i talk back.. even if i mm ah orh, say i no heart to listen.. is like wth. Whatever i do also wrong -_- worst! All they know is ask u do thing n they will happily sit there play hp game..

 

[sgmel]

Hi ladies, with all these terrible MIL issued happened. How do you still spend your Chinese new year. Did you bai nian with them? I am going oversea till 4th day of new year,don't plan to go back that shit hole after the 15th day. I just hope they can chase me back home.I'm pregnant now,think with the situation I'm facing with them will lead me to depression one day. Sigh!

 

[tcmy]

Sgmel, enjoy ur happy holiday n take good care of urself k.. bai nian cfm will de, coz under one roof.. cannot run a way like u.. so gd, i also want travel.. haiz i think not a happy cny to me le.. they now keep hanging $$ beside their mouth.. aiyo.. not to b wicked, but hope they sore throat.. den can have few days of peace..

 

[Mandy Wong]

Repeated post

 

[ali50n]

Precisely, if their own children whom they gave birth and iive together for years cannot get along with them, how well to expect daughter in laws to get along with them?
My husband's siblings all dont care about their mother and chuck them with my husband and he has got no choice but to put his mother to stay in our house. All thre daughter unmarried (Maybe no guys want them...hahaha) only know how to come meddle in my family issues - damnit!
Even I want to put my child in full day childcare they also want meddle, say should just let their mother look after blah blah..
I will not allow my child to become a spoil brat under the care of their mother!
I rather send her to full day childcare to learn and mingle with other kids than with an old heck at home.
Fever cannot bath, flu, cannot bath - then how, let the germs mutiply and make the child more sick isit?
If she want stay in my household just shut up and I won't be bothered with her.
I guess no one out there will be in a worst off scenario than me.

As i bold the words in black, u have to also understand ur mother-in-law y she said that.

My mum also said fever/flu no bath cos the fever/flu will come back as the child will feel very cold after shower, she will said wipe her with cloth in warm water n must dress the child very fast to prevent fever/flu back.

Well, at least ur mil is bothered with ur child well-being although is a different concept from yours, but the end result is : concern. Rather than she dun bother at all.

As for ur sister-in-laws, u can always shut their mouths up like "I'm her mother, I know what is best for her just like ur mum last time also know what is the best for u all too".

Actually ur scenario is not very worst off, I remember my late grand-mother treat my mum more worse than u. But my mum managed to tolerate it for over 20 yrs. Some times, if the things are not very big dun kick up such fuss. Imagine u r in ur mil's shoes how would u feel?

Unless ur mil is the type tat always find faults at u then u can tell ur husband else like u said about the fever's stuff is quite trival just tat u n ur mil have different concept tat's all.