Messed up feelings during pregnancy! Help!

[Pinkyinbaby88]

Need a place to vent my problems and maybe some advices on the issue.. :tsad:

Currently i'm preggy with my 2nd child and truthfully to say is that I feel this baby is gonna be my burden and not eager for the birth at all unlike my 1st pregnancy.

I even tot of secretly abort the baby with my hubby knowledge but somehow there's something stopping me and I dunno how to explain it.

My hubby was a 100% good daddy or husband as he betrayed me when my 1st baby was only 4months old after birth and it takes me 2 whole years to really gain back the family again.
He blamed me for been too possessive towards him on his privacy during that time and I was complaining too much to him about taking care baby alone. Which makes him went out to stray and neglected the family. I was not strong enough to leave this man as my love for him was stronger and stupid, whereas I believe somehow we can manage thru the journey as time goes by.

All these while my hubby has been chatting with online girls and I doesn't even know the topic as I was afraid of breaking the family again. My heart telling me something is wrong and not right in the current situation but I was to coward to voice out. He ever told me once that is hard to communicate with me and chatting online makes him feel more stress-free but assure me there's nothing beyond the line.

I trusted him once and let him chat online, but never knows these leads him to stray with the girl outside 3 years ago. This time round I told him that I can close one eye and let him chat as even I, myself find it hard to talk to him and really need a friend to listen to my sorrow. But no crossing over the line and have girls calling him up in his mobile or sms as this is way too unbearable for me.

I scared that history will repeats again as other says, leopard would never change it's spots! His character is like those "below itchy for young girls" to chat or even know them more better de.. I really clueless on what can I do to make myself feel better as i believe this will somehow affect my 2 children in near future.

Everyday thinking that will he betrayed me again? How can I afford to take care 2 children if this happens again? Should I opt for immediate abortion now to prevent this child from suffering like my elder child??

I really feel stupid on loving such a guy and not strong enough to leave him.

 

[xiaodaisy]

maybe such feelings came when u r pregnant ,have a good chat with ur hubby to ease ur feeling n make u feel better

think positive ! =)

 

[Pinkyinbaby88]

I ever tot of having heart to heart chat with him..
But he always easily pissed off if any of the topic is sensitive towards him..
Whereas I find it hard to really convey my thinking and knowing his thinking too..

I try to stay positive in making myself more busy with things than thinking negatively..
Hope this can helps me go thru this pregnancy more easy...

 

[lovepixie]

Hi Pinkyinbaby88

Stay positive and be a confidant woman throughout ur pregnancy. Join groups with othe moms to let ur thoughts be positive. Get family support from relatives and above all treat yourself better

 

[xiaodaisy]

chat often with ur bestie, dont bottle up .. always find someone to share , so ur fren will cheer u up ..

 

[Justina]

pls remind him that online / stray relationships will never end up good. hope he'll realize.

 

[autumnfall]

Actually did he really stray? If so, u shouldn't allow him to chat online with other gals anymore? If there's anything troubling him, he should talk to u? Is he stressed from work? I think u should share his probs and vice versa, isn't that what wedding vows are all about?

Even if u wana terminate the pregnancy, I really think u shld discuss with ur hubby first. He's the father and he's part of family planning too.

Actually, do u work? If nope, it's better for u to find a Job and be self sufficient in case of emergency. Be self reliant and talk to ur family and friends, don't face this alone... I'm sure there are many out there who can reach out to help u... Pls think positive and hope everything turns out well for u...

 

[ceratoforte]

Need a place to vent my problems and maybe some advices on the issue.. :tsad:

Currently i'm preggy with my 2nd child and truthfully to say is that I feel this baby is gonna be my burden and not eager for the birth at all unlike my 1st pregnancy.

I even thought of secretly abort the baby with my hubby knowledge but somehow there's something stopping me and I dont know how to explain it.

Congrats for being pregnant with your 2nd child, don't always have the negative thoughts of this child will give you burden etc.

I always tell those woman who have the thoughts of abortion, baby is innocent and is a gift from the god, why want to resorted to kill them without letting them born out in this world, although maybe both of the husband and wife have financial difficulties at least can choose to let the baby born out instead of abort, at least if they doesn't want the baby for whatever reason they still can put up for adoption rather than killing it.

My hubby was a 100% good daddy or husband as he betrayed me when my 1st baby was only 4months old after birth and it takes me 2 whole years to really gain back the family again.
He blamed me for been too possessive towards him on his privacy during that time and I was complaining too much to him about taking care baby alone. Which makes him went out to stray and neglected the family. I was not strong enough to leave this man as my love for him was stronger and stupid, whereas I believe somehow we can manage thru the journey as time goes by.

Being possessive towards a man is good but definitely not until too much although I am a guy, how I wish my girl could be possessive over me.

Baby is both parents job taking care of them, is not like you take care of the baby and he is somewhere playing games, online chatting happily with friends and leave you to do everything by yourself, being a man beside working hard in the company to earn more money secondly is family. If he mentioned that you are too possessive towards him which led him out astray and neglect the family which I think this is not an excuse for him.

Although you are not strong enough to leave him it is because your love for him is that strong but I wouldn't say is stupid at least you aren't doing anything unfaithful to this marriage.

All these while my hubby has been chatting with online girls and I doesn't even know the topic as I was afraid of breaking the family again. My heart telling me something is wrong and not right in the current situation but I was to coward to voice out. He ever told me once that is hard to communicate with me and chatting online makes him feel more stress-free but assure me there's nothing beyond the line.

First of all, dont't jump to unknown conclusion which you doesn't know what topic he is chatting with those girls online, but if you sense something is not right just voice is out to him dont't hide and bottled up inside your heart and sooner or later you will break down. End of the day you are making yourself more miserable.

Communication between husband and wife is very important, no matter how hard it is to communicate both party still have to talk to each other if not what is the point of getting marry?

Although chatting online with friends for him he might feel that is free of stress but also there's a limit to it.

I trusted him once and let him chat online, but never knows these leads him to stray with the girl outside 3 years ago. This time round I told him that I can close one eye and let him chat as even I, myself find it hard to talk to him and really need a friend to listen to my sorrow. But no crossing over the line and have girls calling him up in his mobile or sms as this is way too unbearable for me.

Trust him is one thing, another thing is why you would want to close one eye even although he have already hurt your feelings?

If those girls call him up and talk till very sweet to him or flirt with him, I wouldn't say he is a good husband to you.

I scared that history will repeats again as other says, leopard would never change it's spots! His character is like those "below itchy for young girls" to chat or even know them more better .. I really clueless on what can I do to make myself feel better as i believe this will somehow affect my 2 children in near future.

Usually the sentence "below itchy for young girls" always happen not only to young chap but those uncle more often.

Maybe you could go out for windows shopping, have a cup of tea with friends at least someone accompany you so that you won't feel anyhow think when something occupy your mind.

Everyday thinking that will he betrayed me again? How can I afford to take care 2 children if this happens again? Should I opt for immediate abortion now to prevent this child from suffering like my elder child??

I dont't see it is worth to do abortion because he hurt you so much, furthermore you are endangering your own health instead.

I really feel stupid on loving such a guy and not strong enough to leave him.

As I mentioned above you aren't stupid, just that you are faithful to him too much, a woman with lots of love for their hubby, they will tend to get hurt more easily, trust me!:001_302:

Furthermore you are pregnant, more negative thoughts always get input into your mind.

 

[tash]

Be positive and think positive for your baby...try to do mediation in morning and evening...