MIL or U?

[doristan]

Hi,I'm pretty upset n frustrated. My girl prefer my mil than me since newborn till nw (she is 16mths this yr). She sleep wif me everynite, occasionally with my mil. Is it becos my mil bath her every morning dats y there's a special bond between them? Any mummies here experience the same thing or anyone can advise hw to cope with this problem?

 

[LoVeS]

I tink ur MIL help to take care of ur dd tts why ur dd will b close to ur mil. For me, my mil n me take care of my ds although most of the time is me taking care but ds is close to both me n mil. I dun mind abt it as long as he knws tt i am his mummy can already.

 

[doristan]

Actuali she is look after by my babysitter during daytime, n yet she can be so 'sticky' with my mil. N moreover she sleep with me most of the time, dats y i'm quite upset over this. Haiz...

 

[naze]

Hi Doristan,

Last time my DD also looked after by MIL after my confinement. She's so close to my MIL that I felt so jealous & depressed. I also slimmed down alot during that period. Even MIL didnt look after my DD already, she's close to MIL. I try not to think so much as we cant stop our DD being close to them.

 

[Little Quinn]

Hi,I'm pretty upset n frustrated. My girl prefer my mil than me since newborn till nw (she is 16mths this yr). She sleep wif me everynite, occasionally with my mil. Is it becos my mil bath her every morning dats y there's a special bond between them? Any mummies here experience the same thing or anyone can advise hw to cope with this problem?

same lo, my DD also behave the same way lo....but then heng ar, she still want to go hm with me when i go & fetch her from MIL hse lo...

Me & Naze tot our DDs are like that (prefer MIL than us), now yr DD also behave the same like us.... :embarrassed:

 

[simplyjo]

My girls are being look after by my mum, not MIL. But cos mum is with them most of the time, the girls are naturally close to my mum too. Sometimes when my mum sleeps over at my place, my girls will tell me "the room is too cramp, no place for mummy to sleep"... sigh, sad ah!

 

[jedamum]

time to ttc for a second kid...chances of 2 kids being sticky to one person is lesser.
my K2 ds1 still adores my MIL more.

 

[doristan]

In fact i've been telling myself mayb she's still young, since my mil bath her every morning its natural for her to be so sticky wif my mil. But things get worse... Nw she only wan mil to coax her to slp, n when she wake up in the middle of the nite, realise my mil is not beside her she rant and cry loudly. No matter hw i coax her, she juz cry loudly until my mil come into my rm and bring her back to her own rm to sleep. I'm reali breakdown and heart ache when i c this... Haiz. Juz pray dat things will get better after i get my own hse nxt yr. Which mother doesn't wan her own child to be close wif her, rite... *sob*

 

[naze]

I understand how you feel cos you are staying with MIL...try to look on brightside like Little Quinn & I...

Sometimes I still have the jealousy feeling....but cant do anything ??

 

[~mysterious-m~]

is ur MIL taking care of her??

my son is very close to me, so i have no prob with that..

 

[prima]

hmmm me too I also have the same prob.

only thing is not only MIL but all 2 aunties and 2 uncles. how to fight??
when my 2nd dd was born, they were quick to take care of my 1st dd who was 3 at the time. Now still very possessive over the kids and whatever I do is not approved in their opinion. see doctor they take over, food and studies inclusive.

aiyoh, talk also no use, big war after that. Silent treatment too. Now MIL has passed on, it still continues on. I am being blamed the possessive one.
We are not staying with them. just going back too often. yet the kids love them alot. My 1st dd now 9 years old.

What I have is patience that time will heal and chg their opinion. Still trying to thaw the ice. have to be strong.

 

[CynCyn]

I do not have a MIL , only a FIL .
Take care of my son alone so he's quite sticky and close with me .
No problem for that also .

 

[huipingjn]

Maybe you should spend more time with her? Try playing with her often? For my case, it's my maid. Don't like her getting t close t my DS.

Don't get too upset. Hope things will get better for you.

 

[doristan]

hmmm me too I also have the same prob.

only thing is not only MIL but all 2 aunties and 2 uncles. how to fight??
when my 2nd dd was born, they were quick to take care of my 1st dd who was 3 at the time. Now still very possessive over the kids and whatever I do is not approved in their opinion. see doctor they take over, food and studies inclusive.

aiyoh, talk also no use, big war after that. Silent treatment too. Now MIL has passed on, it still continues on. I am being blamed the possessive one.
We are not staying with them. just going back too often. yet the kids love them alot. My 1st dd now 9 years old.

What I have is patience that time will heal and chg their opinion. Still trying to thaw the ice. have to be strong.

I think ur aunties & uncles gone abit too far, afterall u r the mother and u surely have the rite to discipline ur children in YOUR way. As for my mil, at least she's trying to 'siam' my DD by coming home late, so dat i can coax her to slp myself. When my mil is not around, she will automatically turn to me.

 

[doristan]

Maybe you should spend more time with her? Try playing with her often? For my case, it's my maid. Don't like her getting t close t my DS.

Don't get too upset. Hope things will get better for you.

I spend most of my time on her when i'm not working. Though i'm not her first 'choice', i'm glad dat i'm her 2nd choice. Anyway, thks for consoling. :twink:

 

[shopaholic]

My kids are taken care of by my mil, but I dont see they hv special preference for mil. I bring them home every night and their wkends are spent with hubby and me. I think they are happy to hv more people paying attention to them. But kids being kids, sometimes when we are out with inlaws, the kids will display their pet peeves like only wanting mil to hold her hands. I'm ok with that as it frees me to hold hands with hubby. Other times, they only want me or hubby.

 

[naze]

is ur MIL taking care of her??

my son is very close to me, so i have no prob with that..

Last time but not now. She's still quite close to her. sad !!!!

 

[Umeko]

I had this when my dd was ard 3yrs old, and my MIL is not as understanding as yours, she is more possessive and always think that I can't handle my dd alone..was very sad then,.. but no worries, my dd bcame closer to me when she starts her K1.. by spending time coaching her on d school works,.. discussing with her about her friends, teachers and things she do every night before she goes to bed..

 

[doristan]

I had this when my dd was ard 3yrs old, and my MIL is not as understanding as yours, she is more possessive and always think that I can't handle my dd alone..was very sad then,.. but no worries, my dd bcame closer to me when she starts her K1.. by spending time coaching her on d school works,.. discussing with her about her friends, teachers and things she do every night before she goes to bed..

Yah, hopefully she will be more obedient when she grow older.

 

[ethans mummy]

hai dear chabo,

Don be too upset la...its juz a matter of time dd will stick to u de....

Definitely wen u gt ur own home sweet home & no worries anymore!!! cfm la!

Ch33r Up bah~
ps: u knw who am i mah? keke

:tlaugh: