Im currently preg with my 2nd child. And not sure if it's cos it's 2nd child, so my husband doesn't seem to care much. I feel that even my brother shows more concern to me than him I seemed to always be the last on his list. the following reasons why I think he dont care about me much now:
1) I have problem looking for confinement help. And through out these months, it's only me telling him how stressful I am and how troubled I am. Never has he raise this topic to me and ask me if I got any help or what solution I have come to. Even my younger brother who's not married can give me names of confinement lady he found and pass to me. He told me he knows how preg can be depressed so he has been v nice and helpful to me when he knows I'm preg. My husband on the other hand did not help anything. I asked him if he can help me ask around he just tell me has no friends who has confinement. Can that be? It's just a matter if the thoughtfulness right.
2) whenever we go for gynae checkup, I always tell him to take that day off, so I can spend sometime with him. But he always just rush to go for the checkup with me and then arrange for all sorts of meetings the rest of the day. I ask him to take leave he will say morning only dont need to take leave. Moreover he may be free in the afternoon if there's no meeting. But always come to the last minute he will say oh he need to go back for meetings etc. Then i get really upset. I don't take leave v often, so I look forward to this one day of break and I thought he can accompany me. But to him, he dont see that at all. To him, work is more important. What is 1 day of leave to him? That costly? I feel v neglected when I have a day off but he's working. I am v sad when i think of this.
3) just 3 days ago, I saw someone jumped off a block near my mom's place. It was really a v traumatizing experience for me. When my younger brother knew it, he got off his office immediately and meet me to try to help me overcome the fear. But my husband, when I call almost immediately after I saw, just say don't think about it already. Get to work and work k. My mom even asked me to take that day off to rest. But my husband just say go work. And he never ask me about how I'm feeling since that day. He told he no point bringing it up to make me think. The fact is, do u think u can forget what you saw so fast? I feel that he just conveniently excused himself from consoling me. My mom, dad and brother will ask me how am I. More than him. I'm pregnant with his child, and he can don't care about my emotional needs at all?
He can still go meet his friends for dinner and drinks even thought I told him I'm scared at home. Will your husband not just skip that stupid dinner and spend more time with u? I'm just upset he is not showing me concerns at all.
I know he works v hard at work, not trying to be calculative, but I actually pay more for this household more than him. I earn more than him but I dont need to spend that much time at work. So I always feel very unfair that he neglects me for work. Not like he earn more money to support us. At the end of the day, his money is his. He don't share the same dream as me. Which is to buy a better place to stay in and save money now. He don't believe in that. So u can't say he work hard now our better future. It's not.
Sometimes I wonder, are we that mismatch?? Very sad now. When my 2nd child comes, I think I may sink into deeper depression.
1) I have problem looking for confinement help. And through out these months, it's only me telling him how stressful I am and how troubled I am. Never has he raise this topic to me and ask me if I got any help or what solution I have come to. Even my younger brother who's not married can give me names of confinement lady he found and pass to me. He told me he knows how preg can be depressed so he has been v nice and helpful to me when he knows I'm preg. My husband on the other hand did not help anything. I asked him if he can help me ask around he just tell me has no friends who has confinement. Can that be? It's just a matter if the thoughtfulness right.
2) whenever we go for gynae checkup, I always tell him to take that day off, so I can spend sometime with him. But he always just rush to go for the checkup with me and then arrange for all sorts of meetings the rest of the day. I ask him to take leave he will say morning only dont need to take leave. Moreover he may be free in the afternoon if there's no meeting. But always come to the last minute he will say oh he need to go back for meetings etc. Then i get really upset. I don't take leave v often, so I look forward to this one day of break and I thought he can accompany me. But to him, he dont see that at all. To him, work is more important. What is 1 day of leave to him? That costly? I feel v neglected when I have a day off but he's working. I am v sad when i think of this.
3) just 3 days ago, I saw someone jumped off a block near my mom's place. It was really a v traumatizing experience for me. When my younger brother knew it, he got off his office immediately and meet me to try to help me overcome the fear. But my husband, when I call almost immediately after I saw, just say don't think about it already. Get to work and work k. My mom even asked me to take that day off to rest. But my husband just say go work. And he never ask me about how I'm feeling since that day. He told he no point bringing it up to make me think. The fact is, do u think u can forget what you saw so fast? I feel that he just conveniently excused himself from consoling me. My mom, dad and brother will ask me how am I. More than him. I'm pregnant with his child, and he can don't care about my emotional needs at all?
He can still go meet his friends for dinner and drinks even thought I told him I'm scared at home. Will your husband not just skip that stupid dinner and spend more time with u? I'm just upset he is not showing me concerns at all.
I know he works v hard at work, not trying to be calculative, but I actually pay more for this household more than him. I earn more than him but I dont need to spend that much time at work. So I always feel very unfair that he neglects me for work. Not like he earn more money to support us. At the end of the day, his money is his. He don't share the same dream as me. Which is to buy a better place to stay in and save money now. He don't believe in that. So u can't say he work hard now our better future. It's not.
Sometimes I wonder, are we that mismatch?? Very sad now. When my 2nd child comes, I think I may sink into deeper depression.