skirtdressnsuch
Member
would u give e man a second chance? or do u condemn him totally?
My Husband sleep with other Woman...
- Thread starter chloe18
- Start date
to give a chance, the person must be upfront in everything and remorseful. If a person still hide or lies and not remorseful, then how to forgive.
Also have to look at how did he manage to cheat u, and make sure he will not have the opportunity to do it again
yup right. but somehow, my love for him is getting so much stronger and stronger, haa!
SunShine07
Member
my husband also confess to me before and kneel down. I should have give him a blardy tight slap, beocs he not also not remorseful and make it up to me, but became worst!
Chole18, for your case, i truly understand how u feel, imagine your husband having great time with that woman!!! i almost go crazy and i really cut myself, stupid me! till now the scar still there.....already 2 years, but i still feel the pinch. even though i know we are at the process of divorce....i really still feel the pinch...
But from what you said, i believe you both can make this marriage work....it really take a long time to heal....give urself sometime too
Take care
Chole18, for your case, i truly understand how u feel, imagine your husband having great time with that woman!!! i almost go crazy and i really cut myself, stupid me! till now the scar still there.....already 2 years, but i still feel the pinch. even though i know we are at the process of divorce....i really still feel the pinch...
But from what you said, i believe you both can make this marriage work....it really take a long time to heal....give urself sometime too
Take care
skirtdressnsuch
Member
that is something that differs from man to man i guess......some wifes treat their husband like.............nag nag nag, if i were a guy, guess i would be pissed off to! although its not good eat enough reason for them to f... around outside but from a certain point of view, i could understand......
some guys although their DW is very 'docile' treat their man v. well eg 'make breakfast in bed for them everyday' brings him his slippers every evening when he comes home but he finds his life/DW too boring and he still feels the need to f... around outside.
i guess have to treat our DH with a balance of both worlds to retain his heart?
haha you reminded me of a guy friend who broke off with his gf, because she's too docile, everyday wait for his call beside the phone, never get mad etc, in the end, he found her boring and broke it off...after a number of very challenging relationships...he went back to her!~ haha
Forgive and forget is a simple phrase BUT HARD TASK to do.
As wife, I have learnt to close all my senses to maintain a happy marriage. Be a stupid wife and be happy. Sorry but I have seen too many separation case in my family. ( out of 10 families, 9 were broken).
Is a very selfish act, that your hubby confess and throw all his guilt and problem to you. Isnt is better for not knowing anything?
If you want to keep to the marriage, just be calm and move on from here. Keep the "incident" to the minimal.
But if you really cant forgive, then you might need to prepare or plan what you want to do with the marriage.
Sorry I know is a very difficult situation for you, but I think you need to be honest and truthful to yourself.
Wishing you the best.
As wife, I have learnt to close all my senses to maintain a happy marriage. Be a stupid wife and be happy. Sorry but I have seen too many separation case in my family. ( out of 10 families, 9 were broken).
Is a very selfish act, that your hubby confess and throw all his guilt and problem to you. Isnt is better for not knowing anything?
If you want to keep to the marriage, just be calm and move on from here. Keep the "incident" to the minimal.
But if you really cant forgive, then you might need to prepare or plan what you want to do with the marriage.
Sorry I know is a very difficult situation for you, but I think you need to be honest and truthful to yourself.
Wishing you the best.
skirtdressnsuch
Member
Re: My Husband sleep with otheyou to look both leftr Woman...
ya..............some guys are just so damn contradictive.......... they want this they want that they want the best of both worlds. how to? its just like asking a person to look left and right at the same time......gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
fknails@gmail.com
New Member
sorry to hear that.. hmm.. personally also has this kind of experience.. whether anot.. he did not confess that he has sex with another woman.. BUT.. i found that my husband has a fling.. worst thing.. i was preggie with the 1st kid.. really terrible..
I can totally agree that.. he can be forgiven.. but the hurt.. will not be forgotten.. like a vase which has already crack.. even though you mend it.. you will still see the crave.. no longer perfect..
I can totally agree that.. he can be forgiven.. but the hurt.. will not be forgotten.. like a vase which has already crack.. even though you mend it.. you will still see the crave.. no longer perfect..
District98
Member
pardon me to say this, in my opinion, its depend on every man background.
If the person have past background so called 'bad boy', after married if he commit won't repeat all the 'naughty' thing again, i believe he completely resigned from that, because he knows very well what the consequences if he do that again and he will more treasure what he has now.
but if the person have background a 'good boy/good husband brand' before,and suddenly he doing this kind of this thing, i am afraid, he will do that again on next time.
because this is the first experience to him, he feel guilty, so this time he confess to you.
I agree with fiona, you have to be honest and truthful to yourself ... wish you all the best and be strong.
If the person have past background so called 'bad boy', after married if he commit won't repeat all the 'naughty' thing again, i believe he completely resigned from that, because he knows very well what the consequences if he do that again and he will more treasure what he has now.
but if the person have background a 'good boy/good husband brand' before,and suddenly he doing this kind of this thing, i am afraid, he will do that again on next time.
because this is the first experience to him, he feel guilty, so this time he confess to you.
I agree with fiona, you have to be honest and truthful to yourself ... wish you all the best and be strong.
Re: My Husband sleep with otheyou to look both leftr Woman...
Managing the house is not an issue. Keeping things fresh is quite challenging, but fun at the same time because we explore website & books on 'karmasutra' together. Fun to try out the different positions and methods! And make him too tired to stray
It's like they expect you to be the docile and good wife/mother. However, they expect you to change into a wild young thing in bed.
Quite tiring to balance both roles but at least my hubs appreciates it.
Counselling is best to help resolve such issues long term as it helps to explore certain aspects that we may not think of.
During pre-marital counselling, this was covered. Hubs & I actually talked about it (expectations) and my hubs said that he expects his wife to manage the house well and be kinky in bed to keep things fresh.
Managing the house is not an issue. Keeping things fresh is quite challenging, but fun at the same time because we explore website & books on 'karmasutra' together. Fun to try out the different positions and methods! And make him too tired to stray
It's like they expect you to be the docile and good wife/mother. However, they expect you to change into a wild young thing in bed.
Quite tiring to balance both roles but at least my hubs appreciates it.
Counselling is best to help resolve such issues long term as it helps to explore certain aspects that we may not think of.
skirtdressnsuch
Member
Re: My Husband sleep with otheyou to look both leftr Woman...
i told him to go fly kite =p and he became my ex......... ever since =p
its not dat im not keen to try it out but asking me to go for 2 polar opposites......... ddats pretty tough
my ex bf actually told me that i must be 'good and demure' enough to be brought hme to meet his parents, while being hot hot hot with him..............During pre-marital counselling, this was covered. Hubs & I actually talked about it (expectations) and my hubs said that he expects his wife to manage the house well and be kinky in bed to keep things fresh.
Managing the house is not an issue. Keeping things fresh is quite challenging, but fun at the same time because we explore website & books on 'karmasutra' together. Fun to try out the different positions and methods! And make him too tired to stray
It's like they expect you to be the docile and good wife/mother. However, they expect you to change into a wild young thing in bed.
Quite tiring to balance both roles but at least my hubs appreciates it.
Counselling is best to help resolve such issues long term as it helps to explore certain aspects that we may not think of.
i told him to go fly kite =p and he became my ex......... ever since =p
its not dat im not keen to try it out but asking me to go for 2 polar opposites......... ddats pretty tough
Fisherman's Friend
Member
Chole18, i think you should just asked yourself what do u want from this marriage? We can give all advices here, but ultimately we are not you, so you have to cast the pain aside for now and ask what do you want. You mentioned that you do have 2 kids right? Include them in your plan. If you think you still want to cont this marriage, then you can only bury this incident and not tok abt it le. There sure will be a scar, but it depends on how you manage this scar. All the best to you.
Mandy Wong
Member
Actually i didnt believe that good men exists because i have seen the most impossible guy cheats. I have a friend who seems like a really honest and nice husband.. but then, actually he got another woman outside and they have been together for few years already... but his wife also got duped by him thinking that she is very lucky to have marry a good guy. I myself also feel very shocked because he really dont look that the type who cheats. I think all women should not let their guard down and trust their husband wholeheartedly.. I mean should at least check on their husband once a while. Anyway to each his own, some mummies here might not agree with my opinion. =)
Mandy Wong
Member
Ya i also think got first time sure will have second time.
mandy, take a look at this thread
http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f13/i-trust-my-partner-73167/
any comment?
hmm.. my say would be, can trust, but to a certain extent.
we woman, have to protect ourselves.
but of coz, not too over sensitive and paranoid over hubby stuffs.
just make sure, we keep a look out on abnormal calls/sms & credit card expenses.
best is, if can control hubby's financial spending totally, i believe, things could be better?
MyHappyKids
Member
youknowsue
Member
totally agree, trust ourselves better.