My K1 dd was kissed by 2 boys, I need some help!

[eagjwmom]

Hi,

My K1 dd was kissed by 2 boys yesterday, in 2 different enrichment classes... I witnessed that and of course, only on the cheek. but this is not the 1st time, she told me in school there was also another boy who kissed her and the teacher had to even changed their seats to prevent that...

Intially, I tot maybe ok lah, they are so young, but then I am also thinking if I told my dd that it's ok, then from what age I tell her not ok?

I tried to tell her that if the boys kissed her next time, just politely tell him: No kisses please. Then my dd just innocently asked why and said " they kiss me becaused they love me and god said we must love our frens...

How? I also cant tell the boys' mom that I don't like it right??

 

[bellerichez]

Wah so young already know how to kiss ah. I think must tell the boys parent.

 

[stonston]

If it's my boy who is doing the kissing, I would appreciate the girl's parents telling me so that I can talk to my boy about it.

Children learn by imitating but adults need to set a limit before it goes out of hand.

Teach you girl to reject them. My boy keeps getting kissed at school by older girls & he has learnt to reject them (at his age, his method of rejection is pushing them away).

 

[DodoTan]

I think it is likely an innocent misunderstanding. Children try to act like their parents and other adults they're close to. Perhaps (either your daughter or those boys) often see their parents show affection to each other and to them by a peck on the cheek. So they try to do the same.

What we should do is to explain to them that that kind of affection is only for very close FAMILY members like mummy, daddy, grandma and grandpa. It is not suitable for friends. For friends, we shake hands or hi-five.

 

[Winnietan_3]

Eh.. I too have 2 princesses 6 and 3 , both schooling.. I'm surprised that I'm actually so 'Gu Ban' but when it comes to my two dds, I'm quite protective... That's why I voted a sure no-no if it's happening to them... Then again if the boys are cute.... sigh... Maybe I'll close 1 eye!! Haha...

Seriously I think just explain to ur dd tat there's a lot of ways to show tat she love her friends n not necessary a kiss... It could be sharing her colour pencils or a hand shake... A kiss should be only from somebody dear to her like u n ur ah lao...

 

[Angelmum]

Hi,

My K1 dear daughter was kissed by 2 boys yesterday, in 2 different enrichment classes... I witnessed that and of course, only on the cheek. but this is not the 1st time, she told me in school there was also another boy who kissed her and the teacher had to even changed their seats to prevent that...

:elvis:
maybe I shld say yr gal was 'lucky' to get a dry kiss :err:
In DD class, there's a boy who gives wet kiss, more like a lick .... lucky he kissed another gal, otherwise, I sure make noise.

I dont like ppl kiss or touch DD face, especially those ppl who had just handled $ (food stall/shop) ... their fingers full of germs! Wat if DD end up not pretty, sick or no more fair n lovable becos they cant resist 'sayang' her?

 

[eagjwmom]

Hi all,

Thanks for all the sharing. Still worry a bit, cos one of the 2 boys hugged and kissed her 2 consecutive weeks already... will this get intensed?

I worry becos my dear daughter is the friendly tomboy type who loves to play with boys, and even too friendly to strangers... E.g She will smile to anyone in the lift. She seldom rejects others, she will play with anyone who come along. So now there are 2 5yo boys who kissed her, but what if a older boy or uncle kissed her on the cheek?!

Expressed my concerns to my hubby and he also feels that it's important to teach her to reject kisses/touches from strangers. But we dont't know how to convey a correct message about the limits? I also dont't want her to be impolite and stare back when a neighbor smiles/greet to her.

Anyone can share how you teach your dear daughter about the possible danger and limits to toddlers in a positive way?

Thanks!

 

[bellerichez]

Hi all,

Thanks for all the sharing. Still worry a bit, cos one of the 2 boys hugged and kissed her 2 consecutive weeks already... will this get intensed?

I worry becos my dear daughter is the friendly tomboy type who loves to play with boys, and even too friendly to strangers... E.g She will smile to anyone in the lift. She seldom rejects others, she will play with anyone who come along. So now there are 2 5yo boys who kissed her, but what if a older boy or uncle kissed her on the cheek?!

Expressed my concerns to my hubby and he also feels that it's important to teach her to reject kisses/touches from strangers. But we dont't know how to convey a correct message about the limits? I also dont't want her to be impolite and stare back when a neighbor smiles/greet to her.

Anyone can share how you teach your dear daughter about the possible danger and limits to toddlers in a positive way?

Thanks!

Wah nowadays the kids so Fierce one ah. I think u should inform those teachers too. Teacher might be able to teach them in class, cos if u speak to them individually they will forget. You should also inform the mother of the 2 boys.

 

[Ting]

i wont feel comfy with it.
i feel that if they r not taught well from young, it would be a disadvantage.
for now, pin only kiss my family( my parents, siblings, sis bf, aunts/uncles n my bf) and me of cos.
if this happens to pin, i would ask to speak to the boy's parents.
it's not good for the boy also, it's like sending him a wrong signal.
TS, she is your daughter, it is right for u to tell the boy's parents that u dont like it.
be it they r young or anything, u can still highlight your dismay.
maybe, u can try to highlight to the teachers n ask them to inform his parents first. n if it still continues, then speak to his parents, also, u can just go up to the boy n tell him: "no, cannot kiss."
n u need to educate your daughter that she shldnt allow boys to kiss her, n love can be shown in other ways.

 

[eagjwmom]

Thanks Ting and all,

Actually not all parents are that "zhi dong", actually both boys' parents witnessed that too. 1st one said:" Hahaha, when he likes someone, he is always like that (kind of proud of what her son had done!), like to hug and kiss his friends (and smile)". 2nd one said: "Wah, though 1st time in the same class, the two kids really look as if they know each other for long time", and she purposely looked away when her boy kissed my girl on the cheek the 2nd time in the middle of the class...

Ya, maybe I should try to tell the boy aloud in front of his parent: "no, cannot kiss and hug, if you like her, u can hi-five with her" or something...

 

[Ting]

why his parents so -.-"....
well, i think u can try tt lor, subtle hints might help.
if cant then tell them straight.
as a parent, u hv the right to disallow this from happening.
everyone hv diff parenting issues, u dont hv to answer to them even if they r not happy abt it.
maybe they will even feel paiseh abt it.

imagine this scenario,
the parent say when her boy likes someone, he will hug n kiss tt person. say if the boy chose to "like" another girl more than your girl, then he go hug n kiss another girl, how would your girl feel? since she say the boy "loves" her thus his actions.
so if the boy grows up this way, he just anyhow kiss a girl n tell ppl, his mum say its ok cos i've been like tt since young?
his parents should learn to bring the right message across to their kids.