My maid steal. Should I get her replaced?

[yukimaxx]

You are so right! I totally agree! I pity those that put CCTV at home. I just feel that bcoz of their own insecurities, ppl have to help them pay a price for it.

I was also guilty of thinking of putting a CCTV to monitor my maid. However, I thought about her privacy being invaded and after all, she is also human. It is really not a good idea and eventually I abolish the idea.

I treat mine almost like one of us. She can eat whatever she wants. After all, she needs energy to work and take care of my baby. I am also lucky that she acts with discreet. She eats but do not finish all.

It is all a matter of give and take. But if she were to steal, I would definitely not keep her. Stealing money or costly things is a very serious matter! Probably i cannot sleep at night too!

 

[isabelandrew]

I think some of you might misunderstood appletree. The stealing of food actually came from my maid whom I made a sharing earlier on. Well, it is an immaterial item which I agree. Petty - yes I agree in general. But it is the act that breach the trust. my maid refused to admit (die die refused) but only admitted to the one I caught red handed. I counselled her for many times. Anyway I got tired of asking her since it was not her 1st time doing it.

What buffles me is why she so picky about what to eat? Is it not poorer(sorry to say this word) back at home and we should grateful on what we are able to feed ourselves? My hubby caught her throwing away dinner (esp rice) as she claimed she cannot finish (it was a small bowl)

im worried what she will do next. She is starting her tricks now-very smart girl. Although I rest my case about food, she is now telling me thingswhich does not tie to her actions. Sometimes I wonder - we (employers) could be reading too much into a small matter which some said. The good thing is I haven't catch her stealing valuable things yet. Call me stupid but I have not muster the courage to search her stuff in detail. My colleague told me how to check but I guess there is no point.

Since I find it is an issue, I just change a maid lor.(I finally resigned to this fate, though I really like her in the begining. I also thought of helping her find new employer if I decide to change. Sigh* My poor MIL kana bully by her somemore in the day when we were not at home. Anyway, too long story.

I concluded - character issue.

PS-I hope I won't receive too many postings to rebuke my comments. I guess different people see this issue very differently. Our experiences are really different. Afterall, there were so many issues reported on this maid-employer relationship.

 

[ping26]

I was also guilty of thinking of putting a CCTV to monitor my maid. However, I thought about her privacy being invaded and after all, she is also human. It is really not a good idea and eventually I abolish the idea.

I treat mine almost like one of us. She can eat whatever she wants. After all, she needs energy to work and take care of my baby. I am also lucky that she acts with discreet. She eats but do not finish all.

It is all a matter of give and take. But if she were to steal, I would definitely not keep her. Stealing money or costly things is a very serious matter! Probably i cannot sleep at night too!

I think it's advisable to remind maids of limits regularly, if u have limits. I think for some Indo maids, that employer-employee distinction will become fuzzy over time. ie they lose discretion.

Our bosses are entitled to install CCTV & screen emails at workplace. I don't think installing CCTV at home is against maid's privacy, as long as it's not in her room & toilet. It's very difficult to prosecute an errant maid w/o hard evidence. Agents will just transfer the maid again.

If I find that my maid has character issue, I'll just change immediately. If she had been stealing, I wouldn't know cos there's no CCTV & my husband doesn't keep cash properly. In so, I will pass her on to another employer unknowingly.

Most of us really want a helper. But many of us have learnt the hard way that being nice & considerate doesn't always work.

I think it's illogical to have off-days if a maid has only $10-20 per month (due to huge loan) cos she has great incentive to steal or borrow money.

My maid has abt $50. I keep asking her if she wants to buy things but She just didn't want to spend her own money. I buy most things for her. And I thought she was good & fairly responsible.

I forgot to post my qn just now (in mild shock just now)
1. will tell maid that my sis maid was sent off for stealing (hint: it could happen to her too)
2. will tell maid to return the clips & apologise to sis
3. will give her a chance & not deduct her salary for expensive dental tx
(Agent, swift arrow, told me to deduct her salary!)
(rotten luck - she has major dental problem. will fix 2 molars tmw. we hv already taken leave. then discover stealing. Actually, we wanted to do filling too. But won't do so now, cos i may "luigi" if I change her.)

pls let me know how I shld handle this. thks.

BTW if anyone knows of cheap dental tx, pls let me know asap. THKS!

 

[LoVeS]

Hi LoVes,

Thank you.

The whole thing is an unpleasant experience. What have I done wrong acturally? I never ill treat my maid, and she is definitely not steal out of hunger. But that's life, right? Luckily, most mummies here are like you and Stonston, being understanding, considerate, supportive and gave me really useful advices. That's how this online mummy supporting group supposed to be, right?

I am hesitating to get a new maid now. But still need to get one, unless I can find a better solution. The new maid will come in 2 months time, so I just keep my fingers crossed.

This time, I will still treat my maid well, still set some rules to remain in control, but this time, I will take more precautions to safeguard my properties.

yeah same as ya i am too keeping my fingers crossed while hoping that my current maid will continue behaving this way ~ I can understand your feeling of Once Bitten Twice Shy~

 

[lilyliow22]

good and bad maids. good and bad employers. anywhere we go we will find good and bad people.

every good people, have the bad side. every bad people has the good side.
maid has maid challenges, we as an employer also has chellenges, how do we conduct ourselves, yes we pay the maid to work for us, but aren't they a human too who needs enough rest, respect, some leisure time?

We human problems and conflicts mostly come from our indulge in selfishness, what we want from others, we want to keep receiving, the more the merrier, we want to squueeze all the juices from what we paid. Do we bother to care for the maid's feelings, fears, tiredness?

Mostly all is about me, my, mine! God bless me. God bless the world.

 

[julyseven]

I think you should since she not only steal food but MONEY. and she lied, had she admit to eating those food it wont be so bad, lying is bad. how can people trust liars again.

To people who are so against cctv:
And Yes, it may be stressful to have cctv put to monitor maids. BUT if you have a baby, how can you trust so completely to maid?? i mean a lot of this kind of maid mistreat toddler are exposed true these CCTVs. and also some are unkind to old folks (esp those who are senile) too, to prevent this cctv is impt!

 

[glenax]

I am refering to the first post here by appletree.

I wanted to read the whole story but after reading the first few lines, I stop because I am very surprised that maids are required to greet employers good morning and had to say yes madam after listening to instructions. I think there is an expectations gap there.

As for stealing snacks, I dun think that is a big deal, infact I dun even consider that stealing. If you treat your maid as part of your family, family members can eat snacks whenever they want if they are hungry. If you dont want your maid to eat them, you have to tell them and maybe buy some other snacks for them that they can eat when they are hungry.

In the course of getting a maid, I came across a few maids that say their employers do not give them enough food and for a civilise country like Singapore, I am really surprised.

As to not finishing the plate of fried rice that you ordered. maybe she was really full or maybe the fried rice is not nice? I am not sure why you go so upset about her not finishing the rice. if you think it is too expensive, then make sure she eats before going out or ask her to eat later when she gets back home. Personally I sometimes dont finish my food as well and I cant imagine anyone scolding me for doing so. I know some folks are very particular about finishing the last crump on the plate, but not everyone has the same habit and you cannot force your ideas on others.

of course stealing money is another thing and that is a big no no.

generally I think if you dont like your maid, just change one. No point continuing a relationship that makes you unhappy.

 

[pehong]

Straight away send back agent and get replacement, this is the first action I will do. I have employ few maids before, my experience is a good maid we can observe it since the first 2 to 4 weeks, can felt it. As a bad maid no matter i give 2 mths or up to 6 mths of training time or chances given, her performance is still not good.