My mother-in-law, Mdm L rom hell

[princessyuki]

babymoo, may I know how did you know you go into depression? Sometimes I hear people talking about depression but I don't how does one know if he/she goes into depression?

i got into depression too after MC.. partly also cause by monster-in-law... drifted in & out of depression lots of time..
Certain ways to identify depression:
often sad, tearful
drift away frm communicating wid ppl (does nt feels like talking)
hv no interest in family events or wadsoever
gets irritated easily by small lil things that wont irritate u in the past

 

[Excited Mummy]

i wanted total breastfeeding but in the hospital, MIL insisted that baby to be fed with formula.
now i am on partial breastfeeding. MIL was very nasty to comment that my milk flow was so little during the initial 3 days.
she also made a lot of negative comments about various things and insisted on her way. aid the things I bought for my baby are not good enough even though I bought quality products. commented on baby clothes, baby mittens, booties & socks, nappy cloth, nappy safety pins, towels etc.
she insisted on feeding my newborn with glucose water & lots of water
although she comes to help to bathe baby, she also commented that I should not buy the baby wash & lotion but use johnson's baby soap etc.
she always makes a lot of comments. said shld not use steriliser for milk bottles but use salt to wash the bottles & teats!!!
want to harm baby's kidneys?!!

today's 1st day of CNY. in-laws came to my home. 1st time gv ang pow to baby cos they didnt gv to him earlier when he was born.
and to make things worse, my FIL gv my hubby, MIL gv one small one to Burmese maid.
Guess what?!!!! I didnt even get any ang pow!!!!!!!
I asked my hubby later that why is it that when I didnt gv birth, at least I had an ang pow.
Now, after giving birth to a son & their 1st & only grandson, i didnt even have any, and our Burmese maid actually gets an ang pow, but not me?!!!

Until no, my FIL still owes me $$$ for the 2 banquet tables as he donated the ang pows away. I was the one who paid for the wedding banquet using my credit card. Although I asked him for the $$$ last year, he said he was not the ne who owed me, it's my hubby who owes me!!!! WTF.

 

[princessyuki]

i wanted total breastfeeding but in the hospital, MIL insisted that baby to be fed with formula.
now i am on partial breastfeeding. MIL was very nasty to comment that my milk flow was so little during the initial 3 days.
she also made a lot of negative comments about various things and insisted on her way. aid the things I bought for my baby are not good enough even though I bought quality products. commented on baby clothes, baby mittens, booties & socks, nappy cloth, nappy safety pins, towels etc.
she insisted on feeding my newborn with glucose water & lots of water
although she comes to help to bathe baby, she also commented that I should not buy the baby wash & lotion but use johnson's baby soap etc.
she always makes a lot of comments. said shld not use steriliser for milk bottles but use salt to wash the bottles & teats!!!
want to harm baby's kidneys?!!

today's 1st day of CNY. in-laws came to my home. 1st time gv ang pow to baby cos they didnt gv to him earlier when he was born.
and to make things worse, my FIL gv my hubby, MIL gv one small one to Burmese maid.
Guess what?!!!! I didnt even get any ang pow!!!!!!!
I asked my hubby later that why is it that when I didnt gv birth, at least I had an ang pow.
Now, after giving birth to a son & their 1st & only grandson, i didnt even have any, and our Burmese maid actually gets an ang pow, but not me?!!!

Until no, my FIL still owes me $$$ for the 2 banquet tables as he donated the ang pows away. I was the one who paid for the wedding banquet using my credit card. Although I asked him for the $$$ last year, he said he was not the ne who owed me, it's my hubby who owes me!!!! WTF.

Can feel you thou... i nvr went bk for CNY to in-laws plc for 2years already and wont wan to see them too

 

[Estonia]

Do allow me to share my mother in law version.

My mother in law is an avid gambler, she has gambled her house away and has to remortgage the house back to the bank and ever since we moved back, my hubby & myself has been giving her money to help her to pay for the monthly instalement. This is on top of the utilities bills, our monthly groceries meals and helper salary. Finally, she cant handle the instalments anymore, so she proposed to change the title to our name but we have to buy it at the market price.

But she kept telling all her relatives we get a good deal and its "kind" of her to tsf the house to us. Hmm, with the kind of money I have forked out + what I paid for the house, I can buy myself 2 nice neat apartments by now.

She is still very proud and always boast that she is the only one that can loose a few properties just in the share market. I dont think that is something very glorious, but she still like to boast this often to her friends & relatives as one of her biggest achievement. I really dont understand her mentality.

She is very boastful and loves to shop, when she is obviously very broke. The latest is a ring and she kept wanting to sell to me. I told her with the price, I can cater for at least a year of living & education costs to my family of 3 kids.. but she insist that I take it & say I can pay her back when I have the money! She obviously has been shopping with the rich tai tai and has to buy something to show that she is of the same status & cannot loose face.

Anyway, she still openly tell me that her birthday angpow has to be at least 1k. As all her friends are getting at least 1k. Hello, all her friends are very rich who has recurring passive income, but not me. I didnt even give my parents money and in fact, they are giving me money to help me to service the house instalment and with the family expenses. Not forgetting the angpow for CNY, Mother Day, Mooncake festival & Dumpling festival.

If she gets into a fight with her son, she will tell me to buy her an apartment so that she can move out. Has no guts to tell her son off but will verbally abuse me & my kids.

I read from the thread, that some mother in law will verbally abuse the kids, well, my mother in law when get to the breaking point, will hit my kids. Her usual tactic is to take the kids head & bang them against the wall. And she always make sure she will do this in front of me & the other 2 kids and only when my husband is not around. She remarked that this is the way to teach my kids and not use the education of love. She has even said that next time if my kids are naughty again, she will tie them up & beat them with the belt.

The most recent incident happened when my eldest kid has upset her, so I told him to go to the library outside first till daddy or myself is home, in case, he gets beaten. Then I get a phone call and got scolded by my mother in law for a good 10min, with her yelling to me at the top of her voice - citing that this is not the way to teach my kids & the kid should stay at home for her to teach them - and not to try to hide from her, so that she can show the kids that respect must be shown and then she slammed the phone down.

No helper can stay for 2 years with me. I have change so many helpers that MOM has issue me a warning. None of them can take her scolding at all. Her words are so demeaning and evil. One of the past helper even claim that my father in law touches her - now I have 2 gals - even if the helper is lying, how would I know if my father in law would ever touch my gals when Im out working..

oh yes, forget about the hubby - whenever I propose to move out, he said - then I can move but not him. and if I push more, he will just flare out & say he does not want to hear any more of this & ask me to sort it out with his mum. What more can you ask from a supportive hubby right?

13 years of staying under one roof, 3 kids, depression treatments, and often, I feel like just taking my kids to jump off with me to end this.

So thats my little family story...

 

[JuliaKT]

Do allow me to share my mother in law version.

My mother in law is an avid gambler, she has gambled her house away and has to remortgage the house back to the bank and ever since we moved back, my hubby & myself has been giving her $1k to help her to pay for the monthly instalement for 7 years. This is on top of the utilities bills, our monthly groceries meals and helper salary. Finally, she cant handle the instalments anymore, so she proposed to change the title to our name but we have to buy it at the market price. Now, the house is in a very bad shape - leaking roof, rusty window grills, mould in the water containers, piling old useless stuff everywhere. 3 rooms and 1 toilet in the entire household.

But she kept telling all her relatives we get a good deal and its "kind" of her to tsf the house to us. Hmm, with the kind of money I have forked out in the last 7 years x 12 months x 1k cash + what I paid for the house, I can buy myself 2 nice neat and apartment by now.

She is still very proud and always boast that she is the only one that can loose 3 properties just in the share market. I dont think that is something very glorious, but she still like to boast this often to her remisers, friends & relatives as one of her biggest achievement. I really dont understand her mentality.

She is very boastful and loves to shop. She especially love to buy jewellery when she is obviously very broke. The latest is a diamond ring and she kept wanting to sell to me. I told her with the price, I can cater for at least a year of living & education costs to my family of 3 kids.. but she insist that I take it & say I can pay her back when I have the money! She obviously has been shopping with the rich tai tai and has to buy something to show that she is of the same status & cannot loose face.

Anyway, she still openly tell me that her birthday angpow has to be at least 1k and not $200. As all her friends are getting at least 1k. Hello, all her friends are very rich, but not me. and Im just a daughter in law. Not forgetting the angpow for CNY, Mother Day, Mooncake festival & Dumpling festival.

If she gets into a fight with her son, she will tell me to buy her an apartment so that she can move out. Has no guts to tell her son off but will verbally abuse me & my kids.

I read from the thread, that some mother in law will verbally abuse the kids, well, my mother in law when get to the breaking point, will hit my kids. Her usual tactic is to take the kids head & bang them against the wall. And she always make sure she will do this in front of me & the other 2 kids and only when my husband is not around. She remarked that this is the way to teach my kids and not use the education of love. She has even said that next time if my kids are naughty again, she will tie them to the tree & beat them with the belt.

The most recent incident happened when Im on business trip and my eldest kid has upset her, so I told him to go to the library outside first till the daddy is home, in case, he gets beaten. Then I get a phone call and got scolded by my mother in law for a good 10min, with her yelling to me at the top of her voice - citing that this is not the way to teach my kids & the kid should stay at home for her to teach them - and not to try to hide from them and then she slammed the phone down.

No helper can stay for 2 years with me. I have change so many helpers that MOM has issue me a warning. None of them can take her scolding at all. Her words are so demeaning and evil. One of the past helper even claim that my father in law touches her - now I have 2 gals - even if the helper is lying, how would I know if my father in law would ever touch my gals when Im out working..

oh yes, forget about the hubby - whenever I propose to move out, he will wish that I can strike Toto & move out. OR when I propose I move to my mum house, he said - then I can move but not him. and if I push more, he will just flare out & say he does not want to hear any more of this & ask me to sort it out with his mum. What more can you ask from a supportive hubby right?

13 years of staying under one roof, 3 kids, psychiatrist treatments, or just taking my kids to jump off with me to end this. So thats my little family story...

Hi Estonia,

That's very sad to read about your story with MIL. It's especially hard when the husband is not much supportive.
I married 1 year ago and can't even think of staying with MIL for a few months. Even though it will save me much money for us, I rather rent an apartment and stay there till I got a new house.
Salute you for able to stay 13 years

 

[JuliaKT]

Hi All,

Reading all MIL and DIL stories, I feel that I haven't faced so much difficulties like you did. But this is also becasue we are still newly wed and not staying with in-laws in the same house. If not, there would surely be some problems between us..

Only one problem with my in-laws is too much worrying and advicing us unnecessarily (especially the father in law). For example, when he knows I'm pregnent, and he asked me very detailed like which gynae, which clinic, which hospital i will go and how much it cost. And even asked me when my last mensus was so that he can calculate the due date. I was so shocked to hear this question since I didn't even have such converstation with my own father who is a doctor.

Finally, I was having my MS and very irritated with all his concerns and questions, I told him off that we can take care of our own. If anything I need the elderly advice, I would ask from him. I told me that know he is worried about me. But right now, please let me do our own things since this is our first child, I need a lot of research to do before I decide which gynae to consult, which hospital to go etc.

He kept quiet from then onwards. Even if he wants to know something, nowadays he doesn't really call and ask much.. At first, I feel bad telling him off like that but my hubby said it's the right thing to do if not this will go on and both of us will feel very unconfortable everyday.

But I foresee this type of interfereance will come once again when I had a child. They really love to advice what to do, not to do, etc etc... I am now very worried that they both retired and so free to involve in our affairs in future..

 

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[babymoo]

Hi julia... Really salute u to torelate for 13yrs. 5 yrs Of marriage facing them is already a big torture to me. Cny is nv a peace for me. I faster run away not to face them every yr without fail.

 

[Excited Mummy]

Dear Estonia,
You could actually tolerate for 13 years living with your MIL... I feel sorry for you.
But please hang on there & don't do silly things! Your children need you. Please don't take your kids & jump off. That's not the way to resolve the problem. Your MIL really should not abuse your kids that way. I'm not sure if you could try to talk to your hubby and let him know that kids who grow up in such an abusive environment will not be able to develop well...
Warning letter by MOM for changing maids too frequently! Oh dear... when the root of the problem does not lie with you!
Is there any way for you to not live with your in-laws? I know you are also worried about your father-in-law's touching your gals when you are not at home... since your maid had complained about him touching her before.
I wonder if you could use the excuse of having a video web-cam installed in the common areas (not toilets etc) to supervise the maid taking care of your gals... then perhaps the video web-cam could also be used to capture images of your MIL doing abusive acts to your kids (banging their heads against the wall!!! OMG. It's very violent & it's a criminal act - causing grievous hurt to others! for extreme cases, police intervention would be needed, protection order etc but that would make the tension increase)...

I'm not sure how you could move forward and resolve your current situation. Very tricky issue. Don't feel too upset.
Do find ways to relax & vent your frustrations.. at the end of the day, you must tell yourselves that your kids are the most impt people to you and that you must hang on coz of them. You must be strong, my friend. Jia you

 

[princessyuki]

get protection order frm the police against ur mil

 

[yuki12]

Do allow me to share my mother in law version.

My mother in law is an avid gambler, she has gambled her house away and has to remortgage the house back to the bank and ever since we moved back, my hubby & myself has been giving her money to help her to pay for the monthly instalement. This is on top of the utilities bills, our monthly groceries meals and helper salary. Finally, she cant handle the instalments anymore, so she proposed to change the title to our name but we have to buy it at the market price.

But she kept telling all her relatives we get a good deal and its "kind" of her to tsf the house to us. Hmm, with the kind of money I have forked out + what I paid for the house, I can buy myself 2 nice neat apartments by now.

She is still very proud and always boast that she is the only one that can loose a few properties just in the share market. I dont think that is something very glorious, but she still like to boast this often to her friends & relatives as one of her biggest achievement. I really dont understand her mentality.

She is very boastful and loves to shop, when she is obviously very broke. The latest is a ring and she kept wanting to sell to me. I told her with the price, I can cater for at least a year of living & education costs to my family of 3 kids.. but she insist that I take it & say I can pay her back when I have the money! She obviously has been shopping with the rich tai tai and has to buy something to show that she is of the same status & cannot loose face.

Anyway, she still openly tell me that her birthday angpow has to be at least 1k. As all her friends are getting at least 1k. Hello, all her friends are very rich who has recurring passive income, but not me. I didnt even give my parents money and in fact, they are giving me money to help me to service the house instalment and with the family expenses. Not forgetting the angpow for CNY, Mother Day, Mooncake festival & Dumpling festival.

If she gets into a fight with her son, she will tell me to buy her an apartment so that she can move out. Has no guts to tell her son off but will verbally abuse me & my kids.

I read from the thread, that some mother in law will verbally abuse the kids, well, my mother in law when get to the breaking point, will hit my kids. Her usual tactic is to take the kids head & bang them against the wall. And she always make sure she will do this in front of me & the other 2 kids and only when my husband is not around. She remarked that this is the way to teach my kids and not use the education of love. She has even said that next time if my kids are naughty again, she will tie them up & beat them with the belt.

The most recent incident happened when my eldest kid has upset her, so I told him to go to the library outside first till daddy or myself is home, in case, he gets beaten. Then I get a phone call and got scolded by my mother in law for a good 10min, with her yelling to me at the top of her voice - citing that this is not the way to teach my kids & the kid should stay at home for her to teach them - and not to try to hide from her, so that she can show the kids that respect must be shown and then she slammed the phone down.

No helper can stay for 2 years with me. I have change so many helpers that MOM has issue me a warning. None of them can take her scolding at all. Her words are so demeaning and evil. One of the past helper even claim that my father in law touches her - now I have 2 gals - even if the helper is lying, how would I know if my father in law would ever touch my gals when Im out working..

oh yes, forget about the hubby - whenever I propose to move out, he said - then I can move but not him. and if I push more, he will just flare out & say he does not want to hear any more of this & ask me to sort it out with his mum. What more can you ask from a supportive hubby right?

13 years of staying under one roof, 3 kids, depression treatments, and often, I feel like just taking my kids to jump off with me to end this.

So thats my little family story...

Sorry to hear about what is happening. As much as I complained, cried and yelled, I am no way near your situation. You must be a very brave and patient woman to bear with your MIL for so long. 13 long years.... And with a non supportive husband, future seems bleak.

Do look on the bright side, you have parents that loves anc care for you. Beautiful kids that standby you. Never never think of doing anything silly ok. It's just not worth it. If you have the guts to jump off with your kids, you must be even stronger to fight the bitterness. Your MIL is abusive. Verbal and emotionally abusive. How I wish I can scold her for you...

Try to stop telling your husband about moving out. He seems fed up with the idea. I think he is fed up himself too, to have to deal with his mum, yet cannot leave.

Sorry, guess I can't really give much advice. Hope you be strong and rational ok.

When God closes this window, he will open another one for you. Jia you. Any unhappiness please rant here and we will lend you a pair of 'listening eyes'.
Do take ya.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

My mil gave me NOTHING on our wedding. Just a $50 ang bao during the tea ceremony and she was like putting it in my hb's hands hurriedly, like thinking i'll take away that $50...

OMG!!!! 2000 say sell daughter too much man.... my mil at first wanna gig me her old jewelleries lor.... is my hubby help me say then i get a decent gold.....but iso around 1k only....ZZZzz....is like tt de la....me too can't forget wat is said n done to me.....=(

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

husband knows but yet still wanna help his mum. zzzz

His horrible mum made such a terrible comment and he still help her?! WTH...

 

[kimmielalala]

ya..share a little story..MIL, always said she dream this and that and she want not hope. she want my hb to listen, my hb is a filial son and he scared his mom to get angry. that time, when we going to get married, his family came to my house to discussion, then the mother tell my mom actually my son is poor. no money. and she even suggested that we get married in Community Centre. Maybe i looked like worse than phillipino maid. of course i cant even my wedding to be held there...the mom always think for herself. money must give her this and that. her son treated her very well, pass money to her, and she even ask his hb to give money. seriously till wedding that day she told us, the sabo game at bride's house dont spend too much time playing, she said MUST rush back to their house on time! ON TIME! or else, bad luck will fell to my family. then my hb listen to the mom very much, he really asked the brothers to rush. then when we reached at groom's house. THEY ARE STILL ZZZ! WEDDING DAY LEH.

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

Your mil is really from hell, how can she do that to your kids?? Banging their heads against the wall?! If its me, i think i'll pushed her away and take my kids and leave. I dun think by doing that is rude or making things diff for the hubby. Im just protecting my kids as their mother.

My helper oso cannot stand my mil and yes we are staying together. Whenever im punishing my kid with the time out, she will kept asking my maid to go get my kid. My maid will always said cannot, mdm said not to interfere. Then she will scold my maid -_- I think she is crazy. I had been living with her for 3years and i am already going mad, yet you can take it for 13 yrs...

Theres nothing much we can help you except to be a listening ear, but hope that you will find happiness and peace soon with your family minus your in-laws. Stay strong!!

Do allow me to share my mother in law version.

My mother in law is an avid gambler, she has gambled her house away and has to remortgage the house back to the bank and ever since we moved back, my hubby & myself has been giving her money to help her to pay for the monthly instalement. This is on top of the utilities bills, our monthly groceries meals and helper salary. Finally, she cant handle the instalments anymore, so she proposed to change the title to our name but we have to buy it at the market price.

But she kept telling all her relatives we get a good deal and its "kind" of her to tsf the house to us. Hmm, with the kind of money I have forked out + what I paid for the house, I can buy myself 2 nice neat apartments by now.

She is still very proud and always boast that she is the only one that can loose a few properties just in the share market. I dont think that is something very glorious, but she still like to boast this often to her friends & relatives as one of her biggest achievement. I really dont understand her mentality.

She is very boastful and loves to shop, when she is obviously very broke. The latest is a ring and she kept wanting to sell to me. I told her with the price, I can cater for at least a year of living & education costs to my family of 3 kids.. but she insist that I take it & say I can pay her back when I have the money! She obviously has been shopping with the rich tai tai and has to buy something to show that she is of the same status & cannot loose face.

Anyway, she still openly tell me that her birthday angpow has to be at least 1k. As all her friends are getting at least 1k. Hello, all her friends are very rich who has recurring passive income, but not me. I didnt even give my parents money and in fact, they are giving me money to help me to service the house instalment and with the family expenses. Not forgetting the angpow for CNY, Mother Day, Mooncake festival & Dumpling festival.

If she gets into a fight with her son, she will tell me to buy her an apartment so that she can move out. Has no guts to tell her son off but will verbally abuse me & my kids.

I read from the thread, that some mother in law will verbally abuse the kids, well, my mother in law when get to the breaking point, will hit my kids. Her usual tactic is to take the kids head & bang them against the wall. And she always make sure she will do this in front of me & the other 2 kids and only when my husband is not around. She remarked that this is the way to teach my kids and not use the education of love. She has even said that next time if my kids are naughty again, she will tie them up & beat them with the belt.

The most recent incident happened when my eldest kid has upset her, so I told him to go to the library outside first till daddy or myself is home, in case, he gets beaten. Then I get a phone call and got scolded by my mother in law for a good 10min, with her yelling to me at the top of her voice - citing that this is not the way to teach my kids & the kid should stay at home for her to teach them - and not to try to hide from her, so that she can show the kids that respect must be shown and then she slammed the phone down.

No helper can stay for 2 years with me. I have change so many helpers that MOM has issue me a warning. None of them can take her scolding at all. Her words are so demeaning and evil. One of the past helper even claim that my father in law touches her - now I have 2 gals - even if the helper is lying, how would I know if my father in law would ever touch my gals when Im out working..

oh yes, forget about the hubby - whenever I propose to move out, he said - then I can move but not him. and if I push more, he will just flare out & say he does not want to hear any more of this & ask me to sort it out with his mum. What more can you ask from a supportive hubby right?

13 years of staying under one roof, 3 kids, depression treatments, and often, I feel like just taking my kids to jump off with me to end this.

So thats my little family story...

 

[peppermint]

Do allow me to share my mother in law version.


If she gets into a fight with her son, she will tell me to buy her an apartment so that she can move out. Has no guts to tell her son off but will verbally abuse me & my kids.

I read from the thread, that some mother in law will verbally abuse the kids, well, my mother in law when get to the breaking point, will hit my kids. Her usual tactic is to take the kids head & bang them against the wall. And she always make sure she will do this in front of me & the other 2 kids and only when my husband is not around. She remarked that this is the way to teach my kids and not use the education of love. She has even said that next time if my kids are naughty again, she will tie them up & beat them with the belt.

The most recent incident happened when my eldest kid has upset her, so I told him to go to the library outside first till daddy or myself is home, in case, he gets beaten. Then I get a phone call and got scolded by my mother in law for a good 10min, with her yelling to me at the top of her voice - citing that this is not the way to teach my kids & the kid should stay at home for her to teach them - and not to try to hide from her, so that she can show the kids that respect must be shown and then she slammed the phone down.

No helper can stay for 2 years with me. I have change so many helpers that MOM has issue me a warning. None of them can take her scolding at all. Her words are so demeaning and evil. One of the past helper even claim that my father in law touches her - now I have 2 gals - even if the helper is lying, how would I know if my father in law would ever touch my gals when Im out working..

oh yes, forget about the hubby - whenever I propose to move out, he said - then I can move but not him. and if I push more, he will just flare out & say he does not want to hear any more of this & ask me to sort it out with his mum. What more can you ask from a supportive hubby right?

13 years of staying under one roof, 3 kids, depression treatments, and often, I feel like just taking my kids to jump off with me to end this.

So thats my little family story...

You should tell your hubby about her abusing your children. No one should ever bang them against the wall!! Tell your husband, should your child gets any internal injury, who is going to bear all the medication costs? These sort of MILs, like mine, are very smart and cunning. They will say or do nasty things whenever her son or when no one is around. What you can do is try to video her or record the nasty things she is said. In fact, if you are nasty, you can even bring this up with the police!

 

[noelsmum]

My MIL knows very well that if she does anything like banging my kid's head or even using abusive words on my kid, that will be the last time she sees her only grandson. And right from the beginning, I've told my husband that there's no way I can live with his parents. And that his brother should be the one taking the responsibilities since they are the ones that seem to be leeching off them by sending their daughter to their place every day and having dinner there every night. But since we live overseas, and my MIL knows my character, she doesn't even dare of thinking of living with us.

But in having said stuff about my MIL, she has done good stuff for us. Through my MIL's mother, hubby and me are inheriting a flat. MIL and her sister pushed for that to happen. And all these just only happened recently. So whatever can be said and done, my MIL is not that bad after all. But there are times that I feel that she's watching if I'm a good wife and mother. And that sometimes pisses me off. But hubby says that I'm over sensitive.

 

[peppermint]

Hi All,

Reading all MIL and DIL stories, I feel that I haven't faced so much difficulties like you did. But this is also becasue we are still newly wed and not staying with in-laws in the same house. If not, there would surely be some problems between us..

Only one problem with my in-laws is too much worrying and advicing us unnecessarily (especially the father in law). For example, when he knows I'm pregnent, and he asked me very detailed like which gynae, which clinic, which hospital i will go and how much it cost. And even asked me when my last mensus was so that he can calculate the due date. I was so shocked to hear this question since I didn't even have such converstation with my own father who is a doctor.

Finally, I was having my MS and very irritated with all his concerns and questions, I told him off that we can take care of our own. If anything I need the elderly advice, I would ask from him. I told me that know he is worried about me. But right now, please let me do our own things since this is our first child, I need a lot of research to do before I decide which gynae to consult, which hospital to go etc.

He kept quiet from then onwards. Even if he wants to know something, nowadays he doesn't really call and ask much.. At first, I feel bad telling him off like that but my hubby said it's the right thing to do if not this will go on and both of us will feel very unconfortable everyday.

But I foresee this type of interfereance will come once again when I had a child. They really love to advice what to do, not to do, etc etc... I am now very worried that they both retired and so free to involve in our affairs in future..

Hi Julia,

Congratulations! 17 weeks and 1 Day pregnant...

Well, I guess your FIL is really concern with your pregnancy and extremely excited to welcome the new addition to the family. That's how some folks show their love...by asking and giving lots of advice aka nagging. Hah!

Compared to some of our parents-in laws, all they want is 'give me more money and I don't care how you are going to survive' attitude.

My guess is when I get pregnant, my Mil, Mdm L will most likely ask where and how much is the hospitalization fees, etc. But in her case, her main concern is 'oh no, my son have to spend so much money on her pregnancy, surely won't be giving me so much money already. So I have to start creating stories to get more money out of my son' attitude. And most likely she will say this 'nowadays you all very lucky, last time my time where got such luxury'. Actually Mdm L doesn't k ow how lucky she is - she was at Mount Alvernia, when she gave birth to her son. She is just sour grape and she wants all the money that her son earns.

 

[peppermint]

My MIL knows very well that if she does anything like banging my kid's head or even using abusive words on my kid, that will be the last time she sees her only grandson. And right from the beginning, I've told my husband that there's no way I can live with his parents. And that his brother should be the one taking the responsibilities since they are the ones that seem to be leeching off them by sending their daughter to their place every day and having dinner there every night. But since we live overseas, and my MIL knows my character, she doesn't even dare of thinking of living with us.

Mdm L said aloud infront of me and her son that DILs can NEVER (she stressed on the word) get along with MILs. What a bitch she is. I feel like telling her that it takes two hands to clap but didn't because she will turn into a crazy devil.

 

[peppermint]

I'm so glad this year, I don't have to spend 15 days of CNY with Mdm L. Only have to see her face at reunion dinner, first day of CNY and one Sunday at a cousin's house warming. After which, didn't see her for two weekends!! But this Sunday, have to go back for lunch. Sian!

But even so, during those few days, I already cannot stand her. She was telling her son that she everyday goes to bishan park to exercise and then walks over to my old condo, to swim. I don't know how did she even gain access when we are no longer staying there. Then she is reminding us that her friend's daughter who is a lawyer, is very good to the mother. She knows the mother retired and has nothing to do, so she bought her mother a casino membership. Hiyo, my MIL kept repeating that to us!