Need some advise pls

[huiping85]

Hello all,
im 24 yrs old this yr.. went for a check up yesterday and found out tt im already pregnant for like 7mth?? DD : 17th Oct 2009.
My bf age 38 divorced, with 2 daughter age 13 & 14.
He sae he cant have the baby.. as it will affect his family.. and he dunno wad to do nw.. neither do i..i seriously wanna have this baby.. wun giv up for adorption...
Any idea wad shld i do... am very very lost nw !!!

 

[autumn82]

Hello all,
im 24 yrs old this your.. went for a check up yesterday and found out that im already pregnant for like 7mth?? dear daughter : 17th Oct 2009.
My bf age 38 divorced, with 2 daughter age 13 & 14.
He sae he cant have the baby.. as it will affect his family.. and he dont know what to do now.. neither do i..i seriously wanna have this baby.. wun give up for adorption...
Any idea what shld i do... am very very lost now !!!

:err: Tell your parents abt it, get ready for baby w/o the father. *patz*

 

[apollo]

since u are v sure that u want the baby with u, leave ur boyfriend and bring up ur baby on ur own. it will be v tough but i'm sure ur family will give u the necessary support.

 

[Frenchkitty]

Hi Huiping, sorry can I ask how come you never suspect that you are pregnant for the past 7mths??

Now, you can only be brave to be a single parent. Since you only have 2 mos left, have you made the necessary preparations? It's time to break the news to yr parents and prepare for your bundle of joy:wong19:

 

[stupidyeye]

yeah..is like so late den u realise??7mth lehs...omg...well..nthin can be done..bt as wad above mention...leave e guy...raise e baby by urself...this is wad i'm doin too....no point kepin him by urside...since he said so....

 

[bellerichez]

Hello all,
im 24 yrs old this your.. went for a check up yesterday and found out that im already pregnant for like 7mth?? dear daughter : 17th Oct 2009.
My bf age 38 divorced, with 2 daughter age 13 & 14.
He sae he cant have the baby.. as it will affect his family.. and he dont know what to do now.. neither do i..i seriously wanna have this baby.. wun give up for adorption...
Any idea what shld i do... am very very lost now !!!

Then now your stomach got show? or still can't be seen???

 

[Spiralng]

Hello all,
im 24 yrs old this your.. went for a check up yesterday and found out that im already pregnant for like 7mth?? dear daughter : 17th Oct 2009.
My bf age 38 divorced, with 2 daughter age 13 & 14.
He sae he cant have the baby.. as it will affect his family.. and he dont know what to do now.. neither do i..i seriously wanna have this baby.. wun give up for adorption...
Any idea what shld i do... am very very lost now !!!

ermmm....if u seriously wan to keep the baby, then u hv to start to prepare baby's things and which hospital u wan to deliver your child. Plus your confinement, where r u going to do your confinement? Last but not least do your parents know about your suitation??? If your bf is not going to be responsible, at least, get him to pay for his mistake...weather he go and steal or beg, he hv to give u some allowance cos u r going to need a lot of $$$.....most importantly, take care of yourself.

 

[Winnietan_3]

My elder sis had gone thru almost the same thing as you Huiping when she's only 18... Except that she's abt 5 to 6 mths pregnant when it's discovered and had already broken up with the bf then... Also wondered how come the 2 of you don't suspect a single thing much earlier... Haiz... Anyway, my family accepted the fact and had considered few options like give the baby up for adoption etc... Finally we decided to keep the baby with my eldest sis who's planning to get married. Initially all of us have to cook up a story during gatherings even with relatives' suspision but after a few years it just became naturally accepted... It was definately a very difficult phrase in the beginning but trust me the love for the baby will help you live everyday bravely as a single parent... Dunno abt your bf but I'll respect you if you do have the courage in deciding to bring up your baby yourself eventually... Hope you are able to seek your family's understanding and assistance... Jia You!

 

[thsheyanne]

it won't be easy for you to be a single mom. the saying goes there is a will there is a way. good luck. Right now i think the baby is more important than your bf.

 

[uddermummy]

like what the other mummies have said, your bf must pay for you and the baby whether or not he wants the bb.

Now that it's past 24 weeks, it's illegal to abort the bb. Tell your bf that.

Do join a support group cos the following months will be emotionally tough on you. Take care!

 

[Ting]

my dear, u r alr 8 mths preg not 7mths.
your EDD is base on 40 weeks.
meaning, in another 1 mth plus time, u would be full term alr.
but very curious, how can u not suspect u were pregnant??
anyways, as mentioned, since u want to keep the baby, then u gotta be strong n try to learn as much as u can to be a mother.
your guy, he wont be arnd to help u since he mentioned he cant hv the baby.
another irresponsible asshole.
but do let him know that u do expect him to PAY for the expenses of the baby, cos he cant run away from the LAW.
hv u let your family know? parents?
very impt, cos they r the only ones who will help u go thru this.


be strong.
take care.

 

[tingting]

YES, ask that stupid guy to PAY FOR HIS MISTAKE
well, if he doesn't want the baby, then ask him PAY FOR EVERYTHING !!
jiayou sist! i will support you all the way!!
we will be there!
hugs

 

[apollo]

agreed with the mummies here, rmb to make him pay. cos from giving birth, gynae fee, hospital fees, pd's fees, aft birth mummy and baby's check up ALL NEED MONEY $$$$$$$$$

 

[Ting]

yes, keep all receipts for your visits to gynar, hosp bills, baby's expenses, then when bb is born, go to court n request maintenance fee.
if he petition against it, court will request to do DNA test, if tested he is the father, he hv to pay for the DNA test fees n baby's maintenance.

 

[huiping85]

wow.. thx all the mummies here... really really very appreciate it... ya.. i've juz told my mum abt it... well, initially of coz she cant tk it..
nw she also helping me.
i din realise at first whn i was preg.. coz ok i had an abortion last dec 1st 2008.
den on january 2009, i did self test myself, bt it was negative.. following march 2009 i tested again.. NEGATIVE !!! den after tt i feel there is this "something" inside my tummy moving. At first i tot i was sick or smth .
Well after confirmin with 1 of my fren whom also ave birth b4, told me ya i was pregnant. And my younger sis too... den i went straight to womens clinic for a scann. Then realise was 8mths pregnant.. Now wad can i do.. I wun giv out this baby tt is for sure... coz i have lost 1 already.. this time round i know its gonna be very hard life ahead.. But i feel sad, baby is gonna have no dad.. isnt it unfair to the baby? Now i told my Bf again and again tt he cant be so heartless as to juz leave me and baby alone.. He too has kids.. But all he told me was.. abortion is the only way out for him. But i told him im 8mths preg nt 8daes or 8 weeks.. he sae tts wad he meant,, 8mth den tell him wad can he do.. he really cant accpet.. no 1 will =.=
im very lost nw...

 

[huiping85]

hi all mummies.. thx for all ur support... well i've juz break the news to my mum.. initially of coz she was shock and cant tk it..bt right nw i guess she slowly calm down.. and is also helping me with all the baby stuff.. and my sis too.. Thx sis.. really sorry and appreciate..

Well as for why i did nt realise im pregnant is becoz , last dec 1st 2008 i had an abortion b4... den on january 2009, i did a self check once it was negative. DEn on March 2009 i did another self check again, negative. After few mths ltr i can feel there is "something" moving inside my tummy. I tot i was sick or smth, smth growin inside my tummy. Then after confirmin with 1 of my girlfriend, ( she gave birth b4) met up with her, see my tummy, and feel baby moving inside.. And my younger sis too.. den i went for check up on Monday at this Women's Clinic. Surprising, the gyane said DD : 17 Ot =.= me and my sis was like OMG!!!! i was too stunt to sae anything.

Yesterday i told my bf again.. there must be a way out. He told me abortion is the only way out for him.. DEn i scold him siao? im 8mths preg nt 8daes or 8weeks.. den he said tts wad he meant.. 8mths then tel him, wad can he do? i told him no choice bt have to accept it. he said cant accept it, no 1 will. I truly dun understand.. He also gt 2 kids himself.. How can he be so self fish.. this is also his child..

Im really very sad right nw.. lots of thing to think.. But 1 thing i wun giv up the baby tts for sure.. I know its gonna be very hard.. Is it unfair to my baby? No daddy for her??

Btw its a baby Girl =)
:wong29:

 

[Ting]

congrats on your baby girl.
baby girls r lovely. (not saying baby boys arent ok!)

to a certain pt of view, of cos it is not fair to your child tt she doesnt hv a daddy since many kids do.
but now is her daddy doesnt want her, u alr did your best to convince him.
if can, keep evidence of him asking u to abort, saying he dun wan the baby.
then in future, if u ask for maintenance from him, n he wants custody of baby, at least, u hv evidence tt he doesnt want the baby from day 1~

be strong, its not an easy journey, but a fulfilling one.
u hv ppl to help u, so dun worry so much. enjoy the rest of your pregnancy~

 

[Spiralng]

hi all mummies.. thx for all your support... well i've just break the news to my mum.. initially of coz she was shock and cant tk it..bt right now i guess she slowly calm down.. and is also helping me with all the baby stuff.. and my sis too.. Thx sis.. really sorry and appreciate..

Well as for why i did not realise im pregnant is becoz , last dec 1st 2008 i had an abortion before... then on january 2009, i did a self check once it was negative. then on March 2009 i did another self check again, negative. After few mths ltr i can feel there is "something" moving inside my tummy. I thought i was sick or smth, smth growin inside my tummy. Then after confirmin with 1 of my girlfriend, ( she gave birth before) met up with her, see my tummy, and feel baby moving inside.. And my younger sis too.. then i went for check up on Monday at this Women's Clinic. Surprising, the gyane said dear daughter : 17 Ot =.= me and my sis was like OMG!!!! i was too stunt to sae anything.

Yesterday i told my bf again.. there must be a way out. He told me abortion is the only way out for him.. then i scold him crazy? im 8mths preg not 8daes or 8weeks.. then he said tts what he meant.. 8mths then tel him, what can he do? i told him no choice bt have to accept it. he said cant accept it, no 1 will. I truly dont understand.. He also gt 2 kids himself.. How can he be so self fish.. this is also his child..

Im really very sad right now.. lots of thing to think.. But 1 thing i wun give up the baby tts for sure.. I know its gonna be very hard.. Is it unfair to my baby? No daddy for her??

Btw its a baby Girl =)
:wong29:

Congrats....the road is never easy. Shower all your loved on your baby girl to replace her missing dad. It's better for a baby girl to grow up in a loved and well care environment with a dad then to hv a dad and grow up knowing that her daddy dun wan her....Don't worry too much, just enjoy the birth of your child. By the way, from you EDD, you could be pregnant after your abortion or your abortion is not successful...either way, it's best to hv your gynae do a throughly check on your baby.

 

[apollo]

hi all mummies.. thx for all your support... well i've just break the news to my mum.. initially of coz she was shock and cant tk it..bt right now i guess she slowly calm down.. and is also helping me with all the baby stuff.. and my sis too.. Thx sis.. really sorry and appreciate..

Well as for why i did not realise im pregnant is becoz , last dec 1st 2008 i had an abortion before... then on january 2009, i did a self check once it was negative. then on March 2009 i did another self check again, negative. After few mths ltr i can feel there is "something" moving inside my tummy. I thought i was sick or smth, smth growin inside my tummy. Then after confirmin with 1 of my girlfriend, ( she gave birth before) met up with her, see my tummy, and feel baby moving inside.. And my younger sis too.. then i went for check up on Monday at this Women's Clinic. Surprising, the gyane said dear daughter : 17 Ot =.= me and my sis was like OMG!!!! i was too stunt to sae anything.

Yesterday i told my bf again.. there must be a way out. He told me abortion is the only way out for him.. then i scold him crazy? im 8mths preg not 8daes or 8weeks.. then he said tts what he meant.. 8mths then tel him, what can he do? i told him no choice bt have to accept it. he said cant accept it, no 1 will. I truly dont understand.. He also gt 2 kids himself.. How can he be so self fish.. this is also his child..

Im really very sad right now.. lots of thing to think.. But 1 thing i wun give up the baby tts for sure.. I know its gonna be very hard.. Is it unfair to my baby? No daddy for her??

Btw its a baby Girl =)
:wong29:

huiping, dont be sad, ur emotions will affect ur baby directly... btw, i love baby girl... :001_302:

ur boyfriend is very selfish. he only think of himself! u're alrdy 8mth preg and he still got the nerve to mention ABORTION??? it will not only kill ur baby and will also put ur life in danger!

from my point of view, i think if u ur baby has such daddy with her, then it's call UNFAIR... since her daddy is so heartless, might as well dont want this kind of daddy...

u're lucky that ur mum and sis are being supportive... no worries, being a single mummy is not the end of world... many single mummies here survive well and much more better than anyone of us... They can bring up their babies, giving them the best, the love, so can u! JIAYOU!! ancing_wub:

 

[wenz]

congrats on your baby girl.
baby girls are lovely. (not saying baby boys arent ok!)

to a certain pt of view, of cos it is not fair to your child that she doesnt have a daddy since many kids do.
but now is her daddy doesnt want her, you already did your best to convince him.
if can, keep evidence of him asking you to abort, saying he dont want the baby.
then in future, if you ask for maintenance from him, and he wants custody of baby, at least, you have evidence that he doesnt want the baby from day 1~

be strong, its not an easy journey, but a fulfilling one.
you have ppl to help you, so dont worry so much. enjoy the rest of your pregnancy~

ya baby gal is cute and lovelly... me too have a gal myself and of cos boys too... but still gal are just so lovely...

anyway i had also been thru the stage as single mum before... preg at 17 and still taking Os... but everything is over and i'm happily married with 2 more kids..

be strong for the sake of ur gal and with ur mum helping you...
take care and ur baby will be here soon!!