Should i Divorce or forgive?

V

virginialadies

Member
Hi mommies...i realli dunno m i doing the right things.

I am 22years old, have 2years old son. Mx hub 29years old.

So difficult we manage to be tog for 5years now he ruin everything.

Y i thinkin divorce..cos he brought a gal to mx hse...mx room sleepin on mx bed. Wen i saw the girl jus she alone sleepin on mx bed. The second time i is mx bad with the girl sleepin on mx bed but nv hug tog. The door been lock. The just sae FRIEND onli... Mommies hu will believe is jus friend, Rite? He don bother to explain everything. Don admit his wrong till now.

Wad should i do? Divovce? Wait? Btw, i now alr shift to mx mum hse for the moment. I alr seek mx lawyer, he sae if he realli have an affair he will auto divorce with me. Y must i pay for the divorce fee and let him enjoy.

Pls give me some optional...will i ruin mx son if i be single mother.
 
edy

edy

Administrator
Staff member
He is a jerk! How could he bring another woman back and hanky panky in the room?

Please make sure you have the evidence and fight for monthly maintenance.

Dont let scum like that gets away!

You have many great years ahead.
 
V

virginialadies

Member
Admin-Ed said:
He is a jerk! How could he bring another woman back and hanky panky in the room?

Please make sure you have the evidence and fight for monthly maintenance.

Dont let scum like that gets away!

You have many great years ahead.
Click to expand...
Ya i agree he is a jerk. Doesnt respect me!!! The girl also a whore bitch. Mx room have baby cot, those baby stuffs. Onli blind ppl cannot c he is a married guy tat have kids. Regret din slap the bitch. Too bad is no evidence. How??? Fight for maintenance wad if he sae he jobless...
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
woaah~ had abit of difficulty reading your post with all the Xs...
if i were u, yes i will divorce, n suck out a fat amount of alimony n maintenance fee from him.
n pls dun go slap tt girl or whatsoever.
think abt this, u hv a child.
she has access to your home.
she might one day harm your child...n mind F your hubby to do things to u.
多一事不如少一事..
regarding evidence, i would think, u can try to install a camera/cctv in your room w/o his knowledge?? cos i believe it will happen again...n then u hv it on video he also cant say anything, cos it is your own hse wat, u hv the right to install hidden camera, is they suay kena caught nia..
 
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diymummy

diymummy

Moderator
Get all the evidence that you can. Hire a PI. Or like Ting say, install a CCTV.

You can only forgive if he admits he is in the wrong. If he doesn't admit it, what's there to forgive?
 
Mama Ina

Mama Ina

Well-Known Member
OMG!!! He is a real big JERK!! I feel like nowadays those gals they even don't care if the guy is married or not.. I seen it myself.. Make me so piss off..!! But the guy also have to be blame cos maybe this jerk uses his mouth to talk bad abt the wife and seek sympathy from those bitches.. He dare to bring her back and sit on ur bed?? That is too much..!!! If me, i won't even dare to sit or sleep or even touch that bed anymore.. Dirty liao!!

Mummy, be strong.. U still young i am sure u will get a better life one day.. All this got karma lahh.. "What goes around comes around" or What goes up must come down"... U will see the day of his suffering..
 
M

masayuki

Member
diymummy said:
Get all the evidence that you can. Hire a PI. Or like Ting say, install a CCTV.

You can only forgive if he admits he is in the wrong. If he doesn't admit it, what's there to forgive?
Click to expand...
I agree.... He 's like my dad, a bloody jerk!

If you need hidden camera or CCTV, uncle can help! :wong29:
 
chiro

chiro

Active Member
gal, sorry to hear that...you might want to consider this ..not sure if this is applicable to u

http://www.mcys.gov.sg/web/HOPE.html


Home Ownership Plus Education (HOPE) Scheme

HOPE Eligibility Criteria

HOPE applicants should fulfill the following criteria:
  1. Be married or is a divorced mother with custody of the children.
  2. Have 1 or 2 children
  3. Either the husband or wife must be a Singapore citizen, and the spouse must either be a citizen or a permanent resident of Singapore
  4. Have a monthly household* income of $1500 or below
  5. Age of the wife is 35** years or below
  6. Husband is employed.
This scheme will also be extended to widows.
* For families where at least one spouse has post-secondary education, neither spouse should earn more than $1,000 per month each. This also applies to divorced mothers with post-secondary education who must also be employed.
** For families where at least one spouse has post-secondary qualification, the wife must be aged 30 - 35 years old. This also applies to divorced mothers with post-secondary education.
HOPE Benefits

The following types of assistance may be provided:
  • Educational bursaries for the children from pre-school up to university-level education. This is on top of what is already provided for under Edusave. The annual bursaries for the various educational levels are as follows:-
    • Preschool - $250 per annum (for mothers who do not work) and $2,000 for mothers with children aged 0- 6 if mothers are in full-time work - with effect from 1 Apr 09.
    • Primary - $400/- per annum
    • Secondary - $800 per annum
    • Junior college/ polytechnic/ITE - $1,200 per annum
    • University - $2000/- per annum
    • Special education - $600 per annum
  • A housing grant of $50,000 to help the family pay for the home mortgage. The grant will be disbursed in annual installments into the mother's CPF account;
  • A training grant of up to $10,000 per family to enable the parents to attend skills training. This grant will be divided equally between the parents in order to encourage the mother to acquire new skills and enhance her employability;
  • A one-off utilities grant of $1,000 to help the family offset utilities bills upon joining the scheme;
  • Mentoring and family support from a social service agency to guide and follow-up on the family, and link them to other community resources if required;
  • Cash incentives to help the couple with family planning.
# Full-time work is defined as a minimum of 30 hours a work per week, for at least six months in a year.
 
nora23

nora23

Member
OMG! Hanky panky on YOUR bed??? Dats very disrespectful of him. I'm upset even just reading it, wonder how worst ur feelin now. I would have just left my hubby from dat moment. . stay strong 4 ur son. And yup, its nt safe dat e bitch have access to ur house n that ur son is in too.

It'll be best if u can get evidence dat he is cheating n then file for divorce. There ll be also no way for him to have e child. Don't worry, ur a young mama , I\m sure there r gd guys out there can will accept u n ur son. Have faith ya, life is a test.
 
Domique

Domique

Well-Known Member
i think to have an affair is bad enough not to mention bringing the lady home when u are home.... zzz or to be crude, doing it on your bed.

That is the last straw...

i think u or no woman can ever forgive. tough to rebuild back the trust and all.....

my opinion - u are still young... u can lead a better life without him.... even with ur son.... :)

be strong!
 
H

hakisumi

Member
Wah Lao!!! Simi LJ..with married guys ok..married w kids somemore!! Now really so lack of men Meh??!! To me..if my hubby eat outside can forgive if he seek forgiveness but bring back on my bed..he's finding trouble man..make sure dig him every single cents..if not working ..sell backside also must give allowances!!
Ultimately u got to decide to stay w this guy or not..follow ur heart if u think he is not alittle bit worth it..leave him..infact there are still pretty good guys outside though
 
V

virginialadies

Member
Ting said:
woaah~ had abit of difficulty reading your post with all the Xs...
if i were you, yes i will divorce, n suck out a fat amount of alimony n maintenance fee from him.
n pls dont go slap that girl or whatsoever.
think about this, you have a child.
she has access to your home.
she might one day harm your child...n mind F your hubby to do things to you.
多一事不如少一事..
regarding evidence, i would think, you can try to install a camera/cctv in your room w/o his knowledge?? cos i believe it will happen again...n then you have it on video he also cant say anything, cos it is your own house what, you have the right to install hidden camera, is they suay kena caught nia..
Click to expand...

But if he is not workin how can i get maintenance from him. But girl, sometime i will still tink of him. Tat feelin sucks. I ahte it. Now i feel better but still trying hard to not think of him. How to install? I dunno abt tat. I now at mx mummi hse. But if needs i will go back. Mx maid told me tat gal nv step into my house. But i also dunno can trust her a not.
 
V

virginialadies

Member
diymummy said:
Get all the evidence that you can. Hire a PI. Or like Ting say, install a CCTV.

You can only forgive if he admits he is in the wrong. If he doesn't admit it, what's there to forgive?
Click to expand...
How much hire pl? Plus now he jobless he always at home. I tink onli cctv can how i dunno how to install.
 
V

virginialadies

Member
chiro said:
gal, sorry to hear that...you might want to consider this ..not sure if this is applicable to you

http://www.mcys.gov.sg/web/HOPE.html


Home Ownership Plus Education (HOPE) Scheme

HOPE Eligibility Criteria

HOPE applicants should fulfill the following criteria:
  1. Be married or is a divorced mother with custody of the children.
  2. Have 1 or 2 children
  3. Either the husband or wife must be a Singapore citizen, and the spouse must either be a citizen or a permanent resident of Singapore
  4. Have a monthly household* income of $1500 or below
  5. Age of the wife is 35** years or below
  6. Husband is employed.
This scheme will also be extended to widows.
* For families where at least one spouse has post-secondary education, neither spouse should earn more than $1,000 per month each. This also applies to divorced mothers with post-secondary education who must also be employed.
** For families where at least one spouse has post-secondary qualification, the wife must be aged 30 - 35 years old. This also applies to divorced mothers with post-secondary education.
HOPE Benefits

The following types of assistance may be provided:
  • Educational bursaries for the children from pre-school up to university-level education. This is on top of what is already provided for under Edusave. The annual bursaries for the various educational levels are as follows:-
    • Preschool - $250 per annum (for mothers who do not work) and $2,000 for mothers with children aged 0- 6 if mothers are in full-time work - with effect from 1 Apr 09.
    • Primary - $400/- per annum
    • Secondary - $800 per annum
    • Junior college/ polytechnic/ITE - $1,200 per annum
    • University - $2000/- per annum
    • Special education - $600 per annum
  • A housing grant of $50,000 to help the family pay for the home mortgage. The grant will be disbursed in annual installments into the mother's CPF account;
  • A training grant of up to $10,000 per family to enable the parents to attend skills training. This grant will be divided equally between the parents in order to encourage the mother to acquire new skills and enhance her employability;
  • A one-off utilities grant of $1,000 to help the family offset utilities bills upon joining the scheme;
  • Mentoring and family support from a social service agency to guide and follow-up on the family, and link them to other community resources if required;
  • Cash incentives to help the couple with family planning.
# Full-time work is defined as a minimum of 30 hours a work per week, for at least six months in a year.
Click to expand...
Thanks..i will check. But i haden divorce can apply?
 
V

virginialadies

Member
nora23 said:
OMG! Hanky panky on YOUR bed??? that is very disrespectful of him. I'm upset even just reading it, wonder how worst your feelin now. I would have just left my hubby from dat moment. . stay strong 4 your son. And yup, its not safe dat e bitch have access to your house n that your son is in too.

It'll be best if you can get evidence dat he is cheating n then file for divorce. There ll be also no way for him to have e child. dont't worry, your a young mama , I\m sure there are good guys out there can will accept you n your son. Have faith ya, life is a test.
Click to expand...
First time i saw the slp sleeping on my bed but not my side. On aircon somemore..wow i dont even wana on aircon cos sp will high but he on for her. She don deserve to slp on my bed. I now alr moved to my mum hse with my son. Too bad noo evidence lo. He wun fight son de cos he don lik kids. He even feel shame wen my son make noise outsiide.
 
V

virginialadies

Member
Domique said:
i think to have an affair is bad enough not to mention bringing the lady home when you are home.... zzz or to be crude, doing it on your bed.

That is the last straw...

i think you or no woman can ever forgive. tough to rebuild back the trust and all.....

my opinion - you are still young... you can lead a better life without him.... even with your son.... :)

be strong!
Click to expand...
He is a jerk... he sae he hate my mum tat y he did tat to me on purpose. Realli hard to beileve... Hias. I try mx best not to tink of him.
 
V

virginialadies

Member
hakisumi said:
Wah Lao!!! Simi LJ..with married guys ok..married w kids somemore!! Now really so lack of men Meh??!! To me..if my hubby eat outside can forgive if he seek forgiveness but bring back on my bed..he's finding trouble man..make sure dig him every single cents..if not working ..sell backside also must give allowances!!
Ultimately you got to decide to stay w this guy or not..follow your heart if you think he is not alittle bit worth it..leave him..infact there are still pretty good guys outside though
Click to expand...
Ya lo much more good guys out there wad. Y wif a married guy some more got kids. Realli a bitch lo. VvV cheap.
 
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