shi_san_yee
New Member
i put this post up at another place on this forum, but i think here more appropriate...
anyway,
I got pregnant and I didn't marry my son's father due to character clash. When we called off the wedding, he told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me and baby and that i could jolly well abort him; i was damn happy to hear that, but regret not getting it jotted down legally. So i went through the pregnancy on my own, paying for everything myself. when my son was born his sis in law was the fire starter, she saw my facebook pictures, and asked me how the baby was, how was the birth... i only answered out of courtesy. Then that man started to contact me, saying that it is fate that he knows about the birth, and he demanded to see the baby once. To stop the guilt trip my (traditional) mum was giving me, i caved in.
After that visit, i was very uncomfortable, and stopped letting him visit, to which, he pestered me to come out to talk. During the talk, he questioned my intentions of allowing him to see the boy the first time. Actually he accused me of using my son to make him woo me back, and rekindle the relationship. Then he started to cry saying his parents want to see their only grandchild, and told me i'm in no position to decide for my son if he should be allowed to see his father, and that he doesn't mind being "god pa" or "papa". Anyway, to shut his gap, i told him i will try to take my boy out to meet him when i am free.
During one of the meetings, he shoved money into my diaper bag before leaving. I returned it to him the next time, as a precaution so that in the event that he fights legally, he cannot say he has supported the boy. When he or his folks bring gifts during our meetings, i will accept them (but not necessarily use them) just dont't wanna be rude.
If i had my way, i'll stop the visits totally, crossing my fingers that he won't fight a law suit with me for visitation rights, which is the main reason for letting him see the boy on my terms; so he doesn't go fight legally.
the next time i meet up with him (and most likely his mum), i'll try to refer to him as 'uncle' see what his reaction is, sure give black face. and his mum always carries him out of my sight, then say "nai nai dai ni zou zou". i hate that! both the 'nai nai' and walking out of my sight. i show my displeasure she still does it, and also snatch my son's biscuit away just to see his reaction... cry la, what other reaction she want?? none of them were there throughout my pregnancy, and now coz first and only grandson so must snatch. BTH. now i'm just trying to be nice by meeting up, i feel they're asking for more.
Now, my son is beginning to recognise people and eventually, learn to greet people. Last time that man told me he doesn't mind my son to call him "papa" , "daddy" or "godpa"? (I'm cringing as i type this) I know he already refers to himself as "papa" and it feels damn sick hearing it. anyone same position as me? what does your child refer to the father as? I'm really very bothered about this, as my son is growing by the day and soon he'll learn to talk, i need to establish this fast.
suggestions, opinions?
anyway,
I got pregnant and I didn't marry my son's father due to character clash. When we called off the wedding, he told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me and baby and that i could jolly well abort him; i was damn happy to hear that, but regret not getting it jotted down legally. So i went through the pregnancy on my own, paying for everything myself. when my son was born his sis in law was the fire starter, she saw my facebook pictures, and asked me how the baby was, how was the birth... i only answered out of courtesy. Then that man started to contact me, saying that it is fate that he knows about the birth, and he demanded to see the baby once. To stop the guilt trip my (traditional) mum was giving me, i caved in.
After that visit, i was very uncomfortable, and stopped letting him visit, to which, he pestered me to come out to talk. During the talk, he questioned my intentions of allowing him to see the boy the first time. Actually he accused me of using my son to make him woo me back, and rekindle the relationship. Then he started to cry saying his parents want to see their only grandchild, and told me i'm in no position to decide for my son if he should be allowed to see his father, and that he doesn't mind being "god pa" or "papa". Anyway, to shut his gap, i told him i will try to take my boy out to meet him when i am free.
During one of the meetings, he shoved money into my diaper bag before leaving. I returned it to him the next time, as a precaution so that in the event that he fights legally, he cannot say he has supported the boy. When he or his folks bring gifts during our meetings, i will accept them (but not necessarily use them) just dont't wanna be rude.
If i had my way, i'll stop the visits totally, crossing my fingers that he won't fight a law suit with me for visitation rights, which is the main reason for letting him see the boy on my terms; so he doesn't go fight legally.
the next time i meet up with him (and most likely his mum), i'll try to refer to him as 'uncle' see what his reaction is, sure give black face. and his mum always carries him out of my sight, then say "nai nai dai ni zou zou". i hate that! both the 'nai nai' and walking out of my sight. i show my displeasure she still does it, and also snatch my son's biscuit away just to see his reaction... cry la, what other reaction she want?? none of them were there throughout my pregnancy, and now coz first and only grandson so must snatch. BTH. now i'm just trying to be nice by meeting up, i feel they're asking for more.
Now, my son is beginning to recognise people and eventually, learn to greet people. Last time that man told me he doesn't mind my son to call him "papa" , "daddy" or "godpa"? (I'm cringing as i type this) I know he already refers to himself as "papa" and it feels damn sick hearing it. anyone same position as me? what does your child refer to the father as? I'm really very bothered about this, as my son is growing by the day and soon he'll learn to talk, i need to establish this fast.
suggestions, opinions?