Newmumi
New Member
Hi there friends, Im a FTWM , wid a 2yo old. Recently, there has been many quarrels leading to violence by my hubby. We are both in our early twenties. Loves story started at 17. Married at 19 and gave birth at 20. This was a planned pregnancy by hubby as both families rejected our r/s. Had gone for a abortion twice before giving birth to my son. First with my 1st love and 2nd with current hubby. 2nd abortion was due to his brother suicide,therefore had no choice. Exactly 1yr later after much trying , I got preggy and we let both families know . Financially , we both could afford having a child. After much objection, we still got married. We went through a hard time of shifting places, no family support , me making sure everything is ok. We have had many fights leading to bad violence in 2012,where he drag & whacked me out from my workplace till hubby was charged in court last yr for spousal abuse. This was reported by my father. Despite all this, I.kept withdrawing all my statements from police to safeguard him as I wanted a completed family for my son. Eventually he was let off with a warning and fine.. All our problems started with the issue of money. Hubby has a drinking addiction just like FIL. Talking abt his family, MIL & 1 BIL has passed away. We are not close and they don't care at all.
My parents have always supported me .however they are over defensive to the point that I cant make decisions except them including for my son. They do verbally abuse me and would say if I got killed or died, they would adopt my son and not passed it to hubby. I understand they are saying and doing all this out of the affection they have on me. But, I feel its too much at times. Back to my hell story, after I gave birth to my son in 2011,hubby only stayed with us till son was 3mths son. There was a big fight argumen, End up my mum & brother hit me. Hubby came out to help me resulting in mum getting hit by him accidently. You can imaginee what happen next? Police came, parents throw both of us out while they hold on to our son saying they will never return him back. After much talking, they took me in only. Hubby went back to his fathers place. I was always seeing to everything of my son while working. Hubby did contribute at times. We stayed separately for a year plus which was 2012.till I thought it was enough as I wanted to stay w hubby dearly. I couldn't tolerate how my parents treated me, alws asking money. My mum had helped to look after my son for 11 mths till I put him into childcare.
My over defensive father had also reported to MCYS that I was not doing my part as a mother and accuse us of not giving money for our son.. I was working as a sales manager and working long retail hours.It was totally shitty and keep wokring hard to earn more money! My parents added on more problems where I had to visit the mcys and fsc (family service centre) for the baseless allegations of neglecting the welfare of my son. Then I made my decision to move out with son and hubby but it lasted for a few mths as the rented place as soo dirty. Again found a place in sept last yr and stayed on till now. All the while, hubby stayed for 6 mths at his work place since he was not welcomed by his family.
This yr i had requested to resign due to the long hours. Instead was offered a position in office for office hours. We both were very happy all along till problems started. Hubby had stopped drinking 6 mths till he started this recent few mths from april. Now he had gotten worst that he doesnt contribute and here im at my wits end trying to oversee everything. Waking up at 6am, to and from sons sch, fetching him by 7pm, feeding him dinner ,putting him to sleep and going to sleep at 1 or 2am. Can u imagine how much struggle I had went through this 6 mths all by myself.? Hubby always gave reasons and was so lazy. He goes to work only when there's work(freelance job). The house rent of $800 , I even have to fork half of it. He takes a longer time to pay me back.
Recently this 2 days we kept fighting and end up in me getting hurt on my back. Poor son was stucked im between us and i think he will neber forget the incident. After I got hurt, I called my parents to move back. But they quickly rushed down and called the ambulance .I went to hosp to have a Xray done. Nothing is serious. He hasnt called to ask me anything right now. Ive shifted to my parents place w son. Inform landlord abt moving out and offset the deposit but they are tellinh me to pay the rent first amd next mth they would pay us back. I just resign my job on the same day i got hit, from the company ive been for few years as I couldnt cope with the pressure. I cant take it anymore. I dont share my problems to any1 and here im suffering. Hubby used to be so loving now he only cares abt himself.
Parents are asking me to take a PPO against him but im worried this would aggravate things. Hubby is hot tempered and never thinks of the consequences. He doesn't mind even he goes in. But ive started to doubt his attitude towards me since he keeps moving away from us. I dont feel the love anymore.. im soo sick and tired of this life . I really wish I could make things better. But Im not sure where is my direction. Now hes running away from all problems and putting it hard on me.
What shall I do? Proceed to make a PPO or stay separately till he reforms or file for divorce? I do see many of friends young as me having a happy family. I wish to have a complete 1.but I doubt I can have 1. I do love him soo much but he pushes me away.
Thank you for reading my story. Not here for any sympathy, but to share my sorrows. ; ((
My parents have always supported me .however they are over defensive to the point that I cant make decisions except them including for my son. They do verbally abuse me and would say if I got killed or died, they would adopt my son and not passed it to hubby. I understand they are saying and doing all this out of the affection they have on me. But, I feel its too much at times. Back to my hell story, after I gave birth to my son in 2011,hubby only stayed with us till son was 3mths son. There was a big fight argumen, End up my mum & brother hit me. Hubby came out to help me resulting in mum getting hit by him accidently. You can imaginee what happen next? Police came, parents throw both of us out while they hold on to our son saying they will never return him back. After much talking, they took me in only. Hubby went back to his fathers place. I was always seeing to everything of my son while working. Hubby did contribute at times. We stayed separately for a year plus which was 2012.till I thought it was enough as I wanted to stay w hubby dearly. I couldn't tolerate how my parents treated me, alws asking money. My mum had helped to look after my son for 11 mths till I put him into childcare.
My over defensive father had also reported to MCYS that I was not doing my part as a mother and accuse us of not giving money for our son.. I was working as a sales manager and working long retail hours.It was totally shitty and keep wokring hard to earn more money! My parents added on more problems where I had to visit the mcys and fsc (family service centre) for the baseless allegations of neglecting the welfare of my son. Then I made my decision to move out with son and hubby but it lasted for a few mths as the rented place as soo dirty. Again found a place in sept last yr and stayed on till now. All the while, hubby stayed for 6 mths at his work place since he was not welcomed by his family.
This yr i had requested to resign due to the long hours. Instead was offered a position in office for office hours. We both were very happy all along till problems started. Hubby had stopped drinking 6 mths till he started this recent few mths from april. Now he had gotten worst that he doesnt contribute and here im at my wits end trying to oversee everything. Waking up at 6am, to and from sons sch, fetching him by 7pm, feeding him dinner ,putting him to sleep and going to sleep at 1 or 2am. Can u imagine how much struggle I had went through this 6 mths all by myself.? Hubby always gave reasons and was so lazy. He goes to work only when there's work(freelance job). The house rent of $800 , I even have to fork half of it. He takes a longer time to pay me back.
Recently this 2 days we kept fighting and end up in me getting hurt on my back. Poor son was stucked im between us and i think he will neber forget the incident. After I got hurt, I called my parents to move back. But they quickly rushed down and called the ambulance .I went to hosp to have a Xray done. Nothing is serious. He hasnt called to ask me anything right now. Ive shifted to my parents place w son. Inform landlord abt moving out and offset the deposit but they are tellinh me to pay the rent first amd next mth they would pay us back. I just resign my job on the same day i got hit, from the company ive been for few years as I couldnt cope with the pressure. I cant take it anymore. I dont share my problems to any1 and here im suffering. Hubby used to be so loving now he only cares abt himself.
Parents are asking me to take a PPO against him but im worried this would aggravate things. Hubby is hot tempered and never thinks of the consequences. He doesn't mind even he goes in. But ive started to doubt his attitude towards me since he keeps moving away from us. I dont feel the love anymore.. im soo sick and tired of this life . I really wish I could make things better. But Im not sure where is my direction. Now hes running away from all problems and putting it hard on me.
What shall I do? Proceed to make a PPO or stay separately till he reforms or file for divorce? I do see many of friends young as me having a happy family. I wish to have a complete 1.but I doubt I can have 1. I do love him soo much but he pushes me away.
Thank you for reading my story. Not here for any sympathy, but to share my sorrows. ; ((