What's the hardest thing to salvage a relationship/marriage?
- Thread starter CynCyn
- Start date
In response to the thread, this is my personal experience
1. When I don't even know that something is wrong. Blur Sotong. :elvis:
2. When I know something is wrong but don't know what it is:embarrassed:
3. When I know something is wrong but don't know what it is, and don't want to find out. (bo chap) :spamxxx:
4. When I know something is wrong but don't know what it is, try and try to find out but got slam back again and again (on good days, the whole night, but usually this take days) until I don't want to try anymore. :bmad:
5. When I have finally given up trying to clarify things then the other partner tells me the supposed wrong / offence that I have committed to her (usually some small (to me) thing), and that happens on a weekly basis. I will get too tired to work on the r/s after a while.
ancing_confused:
(took me a year, plus or minus, before I told myself that, i have tried all possible means that I know and have found out, but for some reason or other it is not working and I have better things to do with life than live to life according to some woman's wimp, fancy or mood, to totally extricate myself from her):wong7:
1. When I don't even know that something is wrong. Blur Sotong. :elvis:
2. When I know something is wrong but don't know what it is:embarrassed:
3. When I know something is wrong but don't know what it is, and don't want to find out. (bo chap) :spamxxx:
4. When I know something is wrong but don't know what it is, try and try to find out but got slam back again and again (on good days, the whole night, but usually this take days) until I don't want to try anymore. :bmad:
5. When I have finally given up trying to clarify things then the other partner tells me the supposed wrong / offence that I have committed to her (usually some small (to me) thing), and that happens on a weekly basis. I will get too tired to work on the r/s after a while.
ancing_confused:(took me a year, plus or minus, before I told myself that, i have tried all possible means that I know and have found out, but for some reason or other it is not working and I have better things to do with life than live to life according to some woman's wimp, fancy or mood, to totally extricate myself from her):wong7:
EforEileen
Member
Agree...
Personally I tink no matter how hard one tried to salvage, if there is no longer commitment and trust from the other party, no point salvaging cos end up only ownself getting hurt...
Mrs Xie
Member
Yeah.... I very much agree..........
ancing_wub:Yeah.... I very much agree..........
don't really agree with this... if both parties are determined to make the marriage work for whatever reason... I believe love can be nutured and grown again... but that's just me and my romantic opinions. :wong19:
But isn't love a choice, a decision? :nah:
Hehe...actually hor, I've been reading the title over n over again....n I presumed tt it shld meant " Wat's the hardest thing to salvage IN a relationship/marriage"
Thus come up with :
LOVE. When there's love, everything is possible. There's no way to salvage love when it's gone.
Yes. To me, Love is a choice. A choice tt both parties had made tt led to the start of a relationship/marriage. But sad to say, sometimes 1 party chose to opt for other choices. Thus, when 1 party changes the intial choice of love n is firm on it, there's no way to salvage the relationship/marriage. IMHO.
priscilla
Member
I agreed with Jo. I think it is possible if both parties are willing to work at it.
Relationship or marriage is like a garden that needs care and pruning too.
ah... but there's only room for another woman to take over his heart if you've not filled it all the way up...
to me, marriage is really a two way street. We each need to find and fulfill each other's needs... if the needs are all met, the relationship will stay strong even with temptation around.
for instance, put food in front of a hungry person and it will get eaten and rather quickly too... put food in front of a satisfied person or even a full person and it won't get touched.
As for love, yes, it is a decision and one that needs to be reaffirmed and redecided over and over and over again. I think I'll still be making the same decision to my dying day. My hubby is my chosen partner and I want to be with the rest of my life regardless of anything he does or doesn't do. Stil working on the fulfilling of needs part though. :shyxxx:
tommyBoi
Alpha Male
Agreed... I am just answering straight to the threadstarter's qn. :001_302:
Of coz there r many issues we can talk abt on why she took over his heart.
priscilla
Member
I agreed with Jopeck. In fact, it is important for couples to work with one another, putting each other first by fulfilling each other's needs and also putting the other party first and think that the other party is better than ourselves, do help a lot in a marriage.
If we keep picking the faults of our chosen partner and not look at his/er positive points and why in the first place we have decided to get marry and spend our lives together. When we pick at the fault of the other party, first of all do not forget that we are not perfect, too and by picking on the small fault, sometimes we fail to see the bigger fault in ourselves. Being in a marriage required a lot of compromise, giving and taking and do not always insist that we are right. Marriage is a journey for couples to grow together, discover each other's strength and weakness so that we can help us other to be a better person as well as complement each other.
Marriage is a lifetime and it should be built on solid foundations where the husband and wife are able to communicate effectively with each other, love (love is being strengthen daily to our loving action, like thanking the person for a specific thing and appreciate the person's effort) and trust (which I believe strongly as being earn).
I once heard a speaker's speech that he describe marriage is like a bank and how healthy and strong it is depending on the couple on how they are going to deposit their love, trust etc into it. And everyone of us have a different language of love (there are altogether 5), it will be helpful for couple to find out their language of love, too. And through our language of love, we can use it to strengthen our marriage and make our love for each other grow stronger each day, leaving no space for a third party to destroy it.
I am currently reading an article on marriage which I find it quite interesting and will try to get permission from the writer and the publication of the magazine before I type it out and share it here.
If we keep picking the faults of our chosen partner and not look at his/er positive points and why in the first place we have decided to get marry and spend our lives together. When we pick at the fault of the other party, first of all do not forget that we are not perfect, too and by picking on the small fault, sometimes we fail to see the bigger fault in ourselves. Being in a marriage required a lot of compromise, giving and taking and do not always insist that we are right. Marriage is a journey for couples to grow together, discover each other's strength and weakness so that we can help us other to be a better person as well as complement each other.
Marriage is a lifetime and it should be built on solid foundations where the husband and wife are able to communicate effectively with each other, love (love is being strengthen daily to our loving action, like thanking the person for a specific thing and appreciate the person's effort) and trust (which I believe strongly as being earn).
I once heard a speaker's speech that he describe marriage is like a bank and how healthy and strong it is depending on the couple on how they are going to deposit their love, trust etc into it. And everyone of us have a different language of love (there are altogether 5), it will be helpful for couple to find out their language of love, too. And through our language of love, we can use it to strengthen our marriage and make our love for each other grow stronger each day, leaving no space for a third party to destroy it.
I am currently reading an article on marriage which I find it quite interesting and will try to get permission from the writer and the publication of the magazine before I type it out and share it here.
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