Will you forgive him if he hits you?

[-SRI-]

There are many cases of ppl who knw laws or even policeman who knw laws but still break laws which is why i say knwing laws doesnt mean they wont do it. In chinese there's a saying "knowing laws but still break laws"

OMG of all places u hit tt place? I knw how fustrating it is when discussing serious matter but guys still joking ard or nt serious which my dh aso like tt 1 BUT hitting tt place is really too xtreme leh. If he force himself on u n u hit tt place i can understand but for wat u mentioned abit too much leh.:elvis:

Oh u mean he used u to demo ah?:tlaugh:

LOL...Den i'll patiently waiting for tt moment lor....come Syg, break the law...I'll make sure law break u back... hehehe...

Hahaha...cz we were sitting down ma...I ask him smth but he joked.. futhermore tt moment I was going for checkup & he can still scold me cz the doc who's working cant scan me..nt sure y..den he so mad at me seh...some more when i was in the rm, doc said i can miscarriage as I'm bleeding.. & he noe I bleed but still scold me.. so u see...I so so sad & when he scold, it really irriatate me even more.. sit dwn the easiet part to hit is the groin lor..if we were to stand, i'll jerk his leg.. hahaha..i so violent one.....But no worries, he nw noe hw to defend himself... Hmm.. abt he force himself on me..gt.........after tt incident, after showered, he "forced" himself on me.. whahahahahahaha.... sleepy sia tt time..tired...

Demo????? wat demo?!?!?! tt time i really wanna hurl vulgarities at him seh... but refrain.. Demo his head ar.... he pro oredi.. 10yrs in the force still want to demo for wat... for who?? den me become his demo puppet ar...:wong7:i tell u ar..nxt time I wont go to the handcuff display..phobia..i didnt noe being handuffed is so painful!!!!! my wrist blue black sia..... tts y la i mad at him.... he even joked..gt tis stupid fantasy when ML wanna handcuff me on the bed... WTH!!! like bondage hor...:err:

 

[-SRI-]

huh?? wat did he do?! :err:

emotionally abuse me!!! recently he told me to abort our bb.. he find it troublesome.. i don get him.. sometimes he so loving.. like kiss kiss my tummy..but sometimes his attitude juz sucks to the core... he still gt the heart to say tt he has nt yet develop the feeling for our bb.. can ar like tt?????:bmad: I cry like wat seh... & i told him off.. if he were to mention abt abortion again.. I'll slap his face!! ha... suddenly he shut himself off... Nw I going to teach him one damn gd lesson on hw to become a gd father... waiting for the right time...when the time permit, hear me ROAR!!!

 

[Umeko]

wats PPO? need how much for that?
the pain and hurt inflicted on me was too great that it would be nothing new if he hit me again
the thought of him hitting me when preg kept play in my mind.. and its impossible to be true to him now

Hi Jennie,
PPOs means Personal protection orders, in fact mine was done by the lawyer, he got all d admin done and I just need to appear in the family court, remember i paid around S$1k.. now not vry sure leh..

Anyway, you may refer to these link for family violence amd PPOs:
You Hit, We Hurt - Spousal Violence
http://www.aija.org.au/fv06/Presentations/Teoh - Singapore paper.pdf

 

[Umeko]

Hahaha..tts gd Umeko!! Congrats.. ancing_wub:sometimes we need to knock some sense into them then they know who's bigger & powerful...:tlaugh:

Hee hee, in fact I did it because of my DD..when he raised his hand my DD was watching, so,... I decided I must teach him a lesson.. but my family n frenz say I act rashly.. in fact I was in tears when I left the Family Court.. :shyxxx:

 

[-SRI-]

Hi Jennie,
PPOs means Personal protection orders, in fact mine was done by the lawyer, he got all d admin done and I just need to appear in the family court, remember i paid around S$1k.. now not vry sure leh..

Anyway, you may refer to these link for family violence amd PPOs:
You Hit, We Hurt - Spousal Violence
http://www.aija.org.au/fv06/Presentations/Teoh - Singapore paper.pdf

Hee hee, in fact I did it because of my DD..when he raised his hand my DD was watching, so,... I decided I must teach him a lesson.. but my family n frenz say I act rashly.. in fact I was in tears when I left the Family Court.. :shyxxx:

Wah..urs so ex... bcz u engage a lawyer?

lol..i know hw u feel..no matter hw bad he is..he still our HB... luv him...haiz.... wat to do..they pushed us to the max...:001_302: I don tink u act rashly.. u only protect ur DD well being...

 

[maine78]

U should make a police report n see a doc as evidence coz it will b useful in future coz u will nv knw when will he strike again n by then he could juz deny he hit u more than once. It will benefit u too if in future divorce comes into the pic in case he wanna fight custody of ur ds.

For me i dun allow or forgive my dh to hit me regardless wat reasons he gave me. They can do it once then they can do it twice or more.

I din't make police report coz i'm afraid he'll be in trouble and may affect his job (he works sub-govt). He has promised with my mum as witness tat he won't hit me again. If he really hit me again, i will go for divorce. He won't get custody of my ds coz he never paid for anything for ds's birth(gynae fee, delivery n hospital fee) and i've kept all the receipts tat i pay.

 

[maine78]

has there been 1time you nvr throw things but he still hit u? yes, your frens are rite, no matter wat u do, he still shld not hit u, cos he is stronger. but i was thinking if u can, try to hold your 'things' den maybe he will not hit u lor....

so sad to know so many wivies got 'hit' by hbs

Ya he did hit me be4 even i didn't throw things at him. Tat was before i had given birth to ds. Previously was worse. He's a regular drinker and he loved to drink, at least 5x a week. I will tell him why he keep drinking and then we will quarrel and sometimes he will end up hit me coz he's drunk. But we had ds, he drink lesser now and hit me lesser. But to me now, i find myself unable to forgive him.

 

[LoVeS]

emotionally abuse me!!! recently he told me to abort our bb.. he find it troublesome.. i don get him.. sometimes he so loving.. like kiss kiss my tummy..but sometimes his attitude juz sucks to the core... he still gt the heart to say tt he has nt yet develop the feeling for our bb.. can ar like tt?????:bmad: I cry like wat seh... & i told him off.. if he were to mention abt abortion again.. I'll slap his face!! ha... suddenly he shut himself off... Nw I going to teach him one damn gd lesson on hw to become a gd father... waiting for the right time...when the time permit, hear me ROAR!!!

since he say no feeling for bb n even say abortion so why bother still stick to such man?! Waste time, efforts n feelings.

 

[LoVeS]

I din't make police report coz i'm afraid he'll be in trouble and may affect his job (he works sub-govt). He has promised with my mum as witness tat he won't hit me again. If he really hit me again, i will go for divorce. He won't get custody of my ds coz he never paid for anything for ds's birth(gynae fee, delivery n hospital fee) and i've kept all the receipts tat i pay.

HE didnt pay anything for ur ds birth doesnt mean he cant get custody unless ur telling me tt since ur ds was born till now he nv fork out any $$ at all lah.

 

[-SRI-]

since he say no feeling for bb n even say abortion so why bother still stick to such man?! Waste time, efforts n feelings.

tts y la..there's times he said he luv bb...and at times no... me so confused.... hahaha... hmmm... easy to say to leave him.... need to pluck some courage... nw searching for it........ courage...courage... whr r u??:001_302: seriously, i hope i can get a clear ans frm him soon.... my life & fate is like hanging...

btw, need some opinoins frm u all if I were to leave him...i can somehw afford to pay bb expenses for a yr 6 mths... juz wondering shld i let him pay for all his child expenses??? i caught in between cz he oso need to support his wife..his wife working i tink in exec level.. they hv no kids.. they leave in a 4-rm flat... HB gt bike.. so do u tink is it too much if i ask him to pay for bb expenses including the hospital charges?? he shld stop giving me maintenance after his child stop schooling rite?

 

[daberdew]

NO!!! NEVER. If he can hit you once, there's always a second time.

 

[rjj]

Ya he did hit me be4 even i didn't throw things at him. Tat was before i had given birth to ds. Previously was worse. He's a regular drinker and he loved to drink, at least 5x a week. I will tell him why he keep drinking and then we will quarrel and sometimes he will end up hit me coz he's drunk. But we had ds, he drink lesser now and hit me lesser. But to me now, i find myself unable to forgive him.

hv you guys try counselling? is it drinking that he is doing all these?

it always takes 2 person to make marriage work, find professional help if needed. many times, it can save a family.

I wish u all the best.

 

[adoncia]

so sad to know so many wives being abused by hubby.

i will nv let this happen to me. and i believe my hubby will nv do this to me.

 

[~mysterious-m~]

if a man always drink & come back hitting u, then I will say, leave this man.

sometimes my hus & I quarel, we will fight!
but of course, at the end of the day, he apologise.

if he always hit u for no obvious reason, just bcos he is not in a good mood, then this kind of man doesn't deserve u!

 

[Irenep]

NO!!! NEVER. If he can hit you once, there's always a second time.

Ya... I agree ! Once started... there will always a 2nd time.

I will never forgive if he really hits me !!

 

[cheekyprincess]

HOw about when you two fights n he just hits you on the thigh with his palm? or hold onto your back n give them a really hard squeeze causing you alot of pain???

He claims that its because im always shouting when we quarrel n he cant stop me so he does that to stop me, but sometimes i v e stubbborn, the more he ask me to lower e volume, the louder i become.

then he will like grab me real hard n do all those lo.

but tell me la. how many couples dont shout when they quarrel, in a huge fight leh???


i am abt one month pregnant n marrying him in june. moving into our house in july..

now im living with his family members..

im thinking if he can do that right under the nose of his family members although they dont know whats going on when we are inside the room la..

what will happen when we live together by ourselves n my little baby in future?

thinking of that, i just feelvery insecure..

i even thought of not going ahead with the marriage anymore.
so sad..

although he comes back with a bunch of roses to apologise, i just think no matter how unreasonable a woman is , a man should not hit or touch the woman at all, no?


i am thinking of drafting out a letter thats states that he will not and shall not hit me no matter what circumstances n if he does it again, the house will be mine and he will not fight for the custody of our child at all.
and i wil let his mother know about this because i want her to be the witness and sign the document as well..

she dont know whats happens btw us, and always think i am at fault evrytime i show a black face. but she didnt know that everytime we quarrel, her son hits me. although not very painful like will die, but what if it escalates into bloody bruises in future when there is only the two of us?

by then it will be too late for me to do anything anymore.. right?



am i too much to do that?

=(

but i feel so lost now.. am i thinkin too much girls??

:embarrassed:

 

[-SRI-]

HOw about when you two fights n he just hits you on the thigh with his palm? or hold onto your back n give them a really hard squeeze causing you alot of pain???

He claims that its because im always shouting when we quarrel n he cant stop me so he does that to stop me, but sometimes i v e stubbborn, the more he ask me to lower e volume, the louder i become.

then he will like grab me real hard n do all those lo.

but tell me la. how many couples dont shout when they quarrel, in a huge fight leh???


i am abt one month pregnant n marrying him in june. moving into our house in july..

now im living with his family members..

im thinking if he can do that right under the nose of his family members although they dont know whats going on when we are inside the room la..

what will happen when we live together by ourselves n my little baby in future?

thinking of that, i just feelvery insecure..

i even thought of not going ahead with the marriage anymore.
so sad..

although he comes back with a bunch of roses to apologise, i just think no matter how unreasonable a woman is , a man should not hit or touch the woman at all, no?


i am thinking of drafting out a letter thats states that he will not and shall not hit me no matter what circumstances n if he does it again, the house will be mine and he will not fight for the custody of our child at all.
and i wil let his mother know about this because i want her to be the witness and sign the document as well..

she dont know whats happens btw us, and always think i am at fault evrytime i show a black face. but she didnt know that everytime we quarrel, her son hits me. although not very painful like will die, but what if it escalates into bloody bruises in future when there is only the two of us?

by then it will be too late for me to do anything anymore.. right?



am i too much to do that?

=(

but i feel so lost now.. am i thinkin too much girls??

:embarrassed:

Cheekyprincess.. I'm nt in a right position to advice u..cz u noe la.. I'm younger than u..22 only..den oso single mum.. hehehe.. but since u personally asked me for it..hmmm....

In my honest opinion... Guyz shldnt hit galz... cz their strength is much more stronger than us.. a slap will be a blow for us.. but sometimes when we feel the anger, we cant ctrl our actions or even the words we are saying.. After we cool off den we realise we shldnt hit, shout or said those words to our spouse/partner... After tt we keep saying sorry all tt..no use oso if he keep hitting n said sorry if he don manage his anger..its like a cycle.. Anger management plays a big role here..understands each other temper n their dislikes which lead to such arguments..

Yes..in every relationship sure gt heated argument one..nt only in relationship but in our everyday lives too..but the question is on hw well both of u handle the situation n the anger... if u noe he'll hit u if u shout..den i suggest u don shout so loud after he gave u the warning.. sometimes the things we can avoid...we shld avoid..:001_302:

For me, usually I'll shout at him..galz ma...But Syg juz keep quiet..which can make me feel so guilty for shouting at him..so I'll juz keep quiet after tt n start to reason things out wit him why i angry at him..at times only I really cant tahan n keep scolding him..den he'll give me the black face n his tone of voice up abit..when tt happens den i'll totally gone mute n keep to myself or hug him.. if after hug ar, he still give me tt black face.i auto cry..hahaha.. cz he seldom give me tt look lor..once kena ar..like so sad...n when he sees me cry..he ok oredi..Start to sayang me.. So we'll starts to discuss on the issue in a cool n right manner n hw to solve or prevent it... Maybe u can follow my way.. hehehe... but hor.. its depends on u n ur HB character... So far Syg nvr ever hit like slap so hard..nvr kena slap oso till nw...

Ytd juz tell him off saying "b4 preg I fierce to u..nw i preg u so fierce to me hor..revenger back ar?? I cannot kena scolded abit ar Syg..nw preg i emotional.." hahaha.. he juz smile.. Tis few days ok.. he nvr scold me.. tink oso cz he sick...

Juz tell ur HB hw u feel.. Guyz ar..u scold them oso no use lei.. they'll nvr understand y u angry wit them.. u need to reason things out wit them one..

Btw he still beat u eventhough u preg??? cannot like tt one la.. u preg lei... u carry his bb lei... n oso u shld let him read on article abt pregnancy.. abt wat pregnant woman go thru emotionall n physically..the hormone changes all tt.. so when u gt mood swings he'll understand why u behave in such a way..but after he understands u, u don push him too far k..don push him to the max...everyone gt their limitation ma...:001_302:

And i tink its better for both of u to sit dwn n hv a nice chat to discuss abt hw any disputes shld be manage b4 u marry to him.. if nt ar...after married worst cz he's the husband..nwdays some HB they tot they gt the rights to hit us cz he's the head of the family n give us $$ so he can do anything to us even to bb...some more u feel insecure of he keep hitting u n u worry he'll hit bb too...i don want ltr end up divorce den the ma fan part is fight for bb custody..

Its up to u to decide to marry him or nt cz u noe him well n better than me..if u tink he'll change for the better for u n bb..den go ahead be wit him..if u tink he wont..den might as well don marry...ltr u n ur innocent bb suffer...I don believe in drafting the letter or izzit call contract? cz for me marriage is a mutual respect n luv towards each other n the vows.. nt by abiding to the contract...its like the marriage is bonded by it nt by trust n respect...they nvr do certain things cz the contract deter them to do so..but its up to individual..the contract may help u in future too...

 

[LoVeS]

HOw about when you two fights n he just hits you on the thigh with his palm? or hold onto your back n give them a really hard squeeze causing you alot of pain???

He claims that its because im always shouting when we quarrel n he cant stop me so he does that to stop me, but sometimes i v e stubbborn, the more he ask me to lower e volume, the louder i become.

then he will like grab me real hard n do all those lo.

but tell me la. how many couples dont shout when they quarrel, in a huge fight leh???


i am abt one month pregnant n marrying him in june. moving into our house in july..

now im living with his family members..

im thinking if he can do that right under the nose of his family members although they dont know whats going on when we are inside the room la..

what will happen when we live together by ourselves n my little baby in future?

thinking of that, i just feelvery insecure..

i even thought of not going ahead with the marriage anymore.
so sad..

although he comes back with a bunch of roses to apologise, i just think no matter how unreasonable a woman is , a man should not hit or touch the woman at all, no?


i am thinking of drafting out a letter thats states that he will not and shall not hit me no matter what circumstances n if he does it again, the house will be mine and he will not fight for the custody of our child at all.
and i wil let his mother know about this because i want her to be the witness and sign the document as well..

she dont know whats happens btw us, and always think i am at fault evrytime i show a black face. but she didnt know that everytime we quarrel, her son hits me. although not very painful like will die, but what if it escalates into bloody bruises in future when there is only the two of us?

by then it will be too late for me to do anything anymore.. right?



am i too much to do that?

=(

but i feel so lost now.. am i thinkin too much girls??

:embarrassed:

eh serious i duno wat ur trying to say on the above i bold. Catch no ball at all leh.

Yes couples do shout at each other whenever quarrel but haf to depend on places n aso HOW loud u r when ur shouting. I understand shouting can b reasonable if the volume is within own hse BUT nt when it loud until even ur neighbours aso can hear lah. It doesnt sound n look nice whenever u bump into ur neighbours the nxt day.

Yes in future might get worse when u move into ur own hse BUT it might get better too as we wont knw wat might happen. Since u mentioned his family aso duno wat happened so isnt it abt the same if u 2 living together?

I tink he is juz trying to stop u frm shouting so loud as u mention the more he stop u, the more loud u shout so u cant really blame him too. If nt, dun tell me he should juz continue let u shout n shout? To him, it is irritating when ur shouting at him + there's a limit in him for ur shouting n sumore ur pregnant now the more u should control ur mood. Although i duno the action he did to u as i mentioned i duno wat ur trying to describe on the above i bold BUT i tink as long as he is nt whacking u, throwing things at u, slapping u, kicking u then nt really consider as hitting u sumore he will apologise to u. I feel both of u each got own faults.

For ur letter hor u mentioned will nt hit u AGAIN rite? BUT in the 1st place u didnt report police or any evidence tt he hit u rite? So how to b "AGAIN" ? U knw wat i am trying to tell u? As for ur letter i duno if he will really LOSE the hse n child custody or nt due to tis letter coz it sound like a contract to me lor n if he is willing to sign is another matter too.

Since u havent married to him i suggest the 2 of u sit down tok properly w/o both of u shouting at each other.

 

[vodkager]

i think it's easy to say NO! if it havent happen.. and when the actual thing happen, mayb it's the other way round..

hubby has yet to lay his hands on mi.. although many times, we do wrestle or push each other real hard and certain times, he NEARLY slap mi.. which he never did.. bcos i always WARN and THREATEN him that if he does, i am NOT going to give him a second chance no matter what and im gonna suck up his $$ and not give him any peace.. wahahahahaha..

but seriously, when it does happen, i doubt i will really did that.. i think i will forgive him if hit mi for the first time.. afterall, he has been a good and responsible father&husband to the family.. and most of the time, he is the one enduring my temper.. so to be fair, i think i will forgive him if he ever hits mi for e first time.. but for 2nd time, NO WAY!

 

[xue]

HOw about when you two fights n he just hits you on the thigh with his palm? or hold onto your back n give them a really hard squeeze causing you alot of pain???

He claims that its because im always shouting when we quarrel n he cant stop me so he does that to stop me, but sometimes i v e stubbborn, the more he ask me to lower e volume, the louder i become.

then he will like grab me real hard n do all those lo.

but tell me la. how many couples dont shout when they quarrel, in a huge fight leh???


i am abt one month pregnant n marrying him in june. moving into our house in july..

now im living with his family members..

im thinking if he can do that right under the nose of his family members although they dont know whats going on when we are inside the room la..

what will happen when we live together by ourselves n my little baby in future?

thinking of that, i just feelvery insecure..

i even thought of not going ahead with the marriage anymore.
so sad..

although he comes back with a bunch of roses to apologise, i just think no matter how unreasonable a woman is , a man should not hit or touch the woman at all, no?


i am thinking of drafting out a letter thats states that he will not and shall not hit me no matter what circumstances n if he does it again, the house will be mine and he will not fight for the custody of our child at all.
and i wil let his mother know about this because i want her to be the witness and sign the document as well..

she dont know whats happens btw us, and always think i am at fault evrytime i show a black face. but she didnt know that everytime we quarrel, her son hits me. although not very painful like will die, but what if it escalates into bloody bruises in future when there is only the two of us?

by then it will be too late for me to do anything anymore.. right?



am i too much to do that?

=(

but i feel so lost now.. am i thinkin too much girls??

:embarrassed:

i tink for the letter u nid a lawyer to help u do dat..den it is valid rite?