Would you even bother if you are me? Try to have a 2nd kid.

[kaitlynangelieca]

Dear Mummies,

I'd like your opinion here. No worries as there are no right or wrong answers.

I have a daugher born in 2003 and is in p1 this year.

Me and hubby only wanted 1 kid when we conceived her. we felt that it was financially draining to raise a child. After having her, we went through a rough patch, jobs were unstable for both of us and the marriage was rocky. After all the storms had died down, we decided to try for a 2nd kid. By which time, I was 35 years already. I managed to conceived twice but both ended in miscarriage. It took me a long long time to get over that. For months, every time I talk to ppl, would feel conscious that I was the only one in the whole wide world that has only one child.

I will be 37 in a few months time and am wondering whether or not I should make another attempt. Altho I still feel that it is a more ideal situation if I could have another child, I am worried that I will not be able to carry the baby to full-term again. Also fear of morning sickness. Am much older now and I am aware that there will be tremendous discomfort.

Now that my gal is in p1, there are other things to worry about. I am a kan cheong mother and want her to do well. I make sure I coach her on her spelling and ting xie weekly.

I have been seeing the chinese doctor on and off and Thong Chai Medical. Its reached a stage where I am asking, what am I doing all this for? whats wrong with just having one? Ppl try to make me feel guilty by saying that my dd will feel pressured in the future. I don't buy that frankly. I think u could have 8 kids and none of them want to take care of you. I am the kind of mother that wants to ensure I can foot my daughter's uni fees in the future so I guess with all that in mind having one child is ideal because I can give her the best and devote all the finances to her.

Am I thinking too much? What do all of you think?

 

[CanCanMum]

both of u decided to try for 2nd kid is mainly becoz of other pple's pressure or u merely wanted your daughter to have a companion or a mixture of both?

if the reason is for your daughter, then slowly let nature take its course. Personally i m oso faced with lots of comments from pple asking me to try for no2. I have "model answers" to answer them oredi lOlzz.......

Age wise i agree tat expecting in late thirties might be draining on energy and health, but its still possible to have a healthy baby. I have seen some colleagues who were preggie at early forties even. Sorry to hear about your m/c *hUgs*, like wad u r doing now, to take care of your health and body for the next pregnancy, i think its perfectly alright.

For the time being if both of u have made up your minds to have no2, i think u shd not worry about too many things at the moment coz u r adding on stress unknowingly.

sometimes things might change if u have no 2, so if both of u have set up your mind, just think ahead and await the good news.

 

[chiro]

hi hi!

Sorry to hear about ur previous miscarriages...

Dun give up trying for second one.. See urself successfuly carrying the baby full term and u will..




But maybe its time u relax abit on ur girl...on her studies...train a child the way she shld go n she will not deviate far from the path when she is older...

Dear Mummies,

I'd like your opinion here. No worries as there are no right or wrong answers.

I have a daugher born in 2003 and is in p1 this year.

Me and hubby only wanted 1 kid when we conceived her. we felt that it was financially draining to raise a child. After having her, we went through a rough patch, jobs were unstable for both of us and the marriage was rocky. After all the storms had died down, we decided to try for a 2nd kid. By which time, I was 35 years already. I managed to conceived twice but both ended in miscarriage. It took me a long long time to get over that. For months, every time I talk to ppl, would feel conscious that I was the only one in the whole wide world that has only one child.

I will be 37 in a few months time and am wondering whether or not I should make another attempt. Altho I still feel that it is a more ideal situation if I could have another child, I am worried that I will not be able to carry the baby to full-term again. Also fear of morning sickness. Am much older now and I am aware that there will be tremendous discomfort.

Now that my gal is in p1, there are other things to worry about. I am a kan cheong mother and want her to do well. I make sure I coach her on her spelling and ting xie weekly.

I have been seeing the chinese doctor on and off and Thong Chai Medical. Its reached a stage where I am asking, what am I doing all this for? whats wrong with just having one? Ppl try to make me feel guilty by saying that my dear daughter will feel pressured in the future. I dont't buy that frankly. I think you could have 8 kids and none of them want to take care of you. I am the kind of mother that wants to ensure I can foot my daughter's uni fees in the future so I guess with all that in mind having one child is ideal because I can give her the best and devote all the finances to her.

Am I thinking too much? What do all of you think?

 

[chiro]

ccm. Share wif me ur model answerss lei


.

both of you decided to try for 2nd kid is mainly becoz of other pple's pressure or you merely wanted your daughter to have a companion or a mixture of both?

if the reason is for your daughter, then slowly let nature take its course. Personally i m also faced with lots of comments from pple asking me to try for no2. I have "model answers" to answer them oredi lOlzz.......

Age wise i agree that expecting in late thirties might be draining on energy and health, but its still possible to have a healthy baby. I have seen some colleagues who were preggie at early forties even. Sorry to hear about your m/c *hUgs*, like what you r doing now, to take care of your health and body for the next pregnancy, i think its perfectly alright.

For the time being if both of you have made up your minds to have no2, i think you should not worry about too many things at the moment coz you r adding on stress unknowingly.

sometimes things might change if you have no 2, so if both of you have set up your mind, just think ahead and await the good news.

 

[CanCanMum]

ccm. Share with me your model answerss lei


.

wahahhahahha~~~~~~~

1) "nobody take care"

if still kenna shoot

2) "hubby dunn wan" ( u muz act as though u really wanted so much but hubby disallow lOlzzz)

if still kenna shoot

3) "baber dunnn want a brother or sister"

lOlzzzzzzzzz

nOrm until answer 3) they will stop asking liaOOO oR else they beta stop asking lOlzzzzzz

the gist of it is to PUsh push push the issue to someone else lOlzzzzzz

if still got pple so thick skin ask den best is to answer

4) "Guan Ni Shen Me Shi" lOlzzzz

 

[CanCanMum]

Baber is trained and brainwashed to ONLY have himself in the family liaOOOOO

we berri "zai" one lOlzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[diymummy]

Hi,

I agree with CCM that it depends what is the REAL reason why you wanna have a 2nd kid. It cannot be due to external pressures but the decision should come from a desire to have one.

I am also a kan cheong mother. But at times, I believe I have to learn to let go. If I don't learn to let go now, as my child grows and learn to make decisions for himself and I don't let him, I would be depriving him in that area of growth.

I think for now, it really all just rounds down to what is the real reason why you want to have your second.

 

[Ting]

actually, what is that u really want??
if u find that the onlt reason why u wanna hv a 2nd child is bcos of the "pressure" other ppl give u, then i would think, no point hving a 2nd child cos like u mention, it might drained u out thoroughly. there is nth wrong with having just one kid, u wanna give her the best n all, so why bother so much with what other ppl r commenting.
but if u want a another sibling for your first child, then of cos go ahead. it wont be as easy (due to age) but it is not impossible. there r ppl who conceived successfully even after 40yo.

 

[apollo]

if u wan a 2nd kid becos u feel tt u shd have at least 2 kids in ur life and u're financially ready, y not?

but if wan a 2nd kid just becos u feel v 'weird' that u seems to be the only one who has 1 kid, den i hope u think carefully again.

having hw many kids is up to u and ur hubby to decide, not others. no matter what they ask or comment, just ignore. follow what u want. =)

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Yes I agree with what all the mummies here says....decide for yourself how many child does both you & your hubby want.

After all it is your family tht you are talking about.

 

[AugBoyz]

Dear Mummies,

I'd like your opinion here. No worries as there are no right or wrong answers.

I have a daugher born in 2003 and is in p1 this year.

Me and hubby only wanted 1 kid when we conceived her. we felt that it was financially draining to raise a child. After having her, we went through a rough patch, jobs were unstable for both of us and the marriage was rocky. After all the storms had died down, we decided to try for a 2nd kid. By which time, I was 35 years already. I managed to conceived twice but both ended in miscarriage. It took me a long long time to get over that. For months, every time I talk to ppl, would feel conscious that I was the only one in the whole wide world that has only one child.

I will be 37 in a few months time and am wondering whether or not I should make another attempt. Altho I still feel that it is a more ideal situation if I could have another child, I am worried that I will not be able to carry the baby to full-term again. Also fear of morning sickness. Am much older now and I am aware that there will be tremendous discomfort.

Now that my gal is in p1, there are other things to worry about. I am a kan cheong mother and want her to do well. I make sure I coach her on her spelling and ting xie weekly.

I have been seeing the chinese doctor on and off and Thong Chai Medical. Its reached a stage where I am asking, what am I doing all this for? whats wrong with just having one? Ppl try to make me feel guilty by saying that my dear daughter will feel pressured in the future. I dont't buy that frankly. I think you could have 8 kids and none of them want to take care of you. I am the kind of mother that wants to ensure I can foot my daughter's uni fees in the future so I guess with all that in mind having one child is ideal because I can give her the best and devote all the finances to her.

Am I thinking too much? What do all of you think?

hi, both of us are in the same shoes I m 37 this year n my monster is 4yrs old only. I decided to try for #2 becoz I feel that its better for my monster to have some one share a burden (means me n hubby when we are old lah) then to shoulder it alone, so decided to go for it.

however, it all depends on what you truly want for yourself, your family and your girl. What works best for you. If financially stable n is able to provide for 2 kids, then u can go ahead and have #2. For me, our financial is still not good but is better then when my monster is just born. Physically I admit tt it will be very tiring then before but I think I can overcome that. I just cross my fingers tt I will not have mild depression again :001_302:

Do what u think is best for your family and not something that pple are pushing/rushing/pressurizing u to do it.

 

[kaitlynangelieca]

Augboyz,

Thanks a lot!

Thank you very everybody for your replies.

Still want to try for my gal's sake la. Really find that the family is incomplete without another child.

But in the end, if cannot, will just take it easy and go for more holidays lor. Also, raising a child is not cheap so with just one, and therefore have more money, will tell myself that can give my gal the best.