An unhappy confinement period

bbgal_2010

bbgal_2010

Member
no choice..kinda respect my hubby & do not wan to create a big fuss...if i can tahan...=) i will try tahan...if cannot den he better b careful as my volcano might erupt one day.
 
ling.er

ling.er

Member
OMG bbgal .. Ur MIL is ........................... nth to say.... BEST OF ALL .. If mine was like tat i think i can bang wall alrd... I hope after my confinement & move to my hubby hus tihng will nth happen ..
As wat they say.. Go write a blog or something.... In future let ur child read it.. :wong19:
 
vinder79

vinder79

Active Member
momi said:
Really feel sorry for you :( you are a strong woman and have been through so much! Take your mother in law issues as a pince of salt.
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Agree Agree !! Anyway start counting down May 14 th is 12 days away.Anyways this comming sunday is your First Mother's Day for u and your baby start making plans it might distract your thoughts.:Dancing_tongue:
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
bbgal, i really admire n salute u!
u r really very strong n brave n POSITIVE!
thats the most impt thing that keeps u going!
n i think, u shld change your number n stop giving money to your mum..
given the way she treated u, what for??
i really feel sad for u to know how she treated u that way..
but also, thats the reason why u turn out to be so strong!
*sayangs*

life will be better for u, i believe in karma, good karma will come for those who do good.
:)
 
vinder79

vinder79

Active Member
vinder79 said:
i believe best mothers day present (in present circumstances) would be baby smile early in the morning.OR BABY CAN POO/PEE all over grandma.Ask baby which one baby prefers.
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My dear this is all just to get u a bit in a jovial mood cause i feel that babies can channel adults negativity.
 
vinder79

vinder79

Active Member
tanglin said:
it's almost like reading my own 'horror' confinement story all over again.

lots of similiarities.
mother in law from msia.
refuses to take the lift by herself.
so every morning hubby has to bring her to market and help her pay for marketing before he can leave for work. even though market is only 5 mins away.
refuses to go anywhere by herself.
every afternoon, her sister comes over to keep her company and stayed until after dinner. they will chat in the living room the whole afternoon while i'm trying to rest in the bedroom with baby sleeping and will stay on till after dinner. so everyday she busied herself with cooking up a big storm for her sister. the best part is, when we requested for her help (cos somehow cannot get a confinement lady), i specifically catered confinement food for myself in the hope that she doesn't have to spend too much time cooking for me and can rest more/ teach me how to take care of baby.
asked me how much the catering costs and you can see the disapproving look on her face when i stupidly told her. feel like telling her right on the spot that hey, i paid for it from my own pocket, not take money from your son ok?
everything we buy for baby (very excited cos 1st baby after trying for so many years), she looked here looked there and out popped the inevitable question, 'how much?'
cannot do anything alone. when she bathed the baby, she wants me to squat next to her and do it together daily so that 'i will know how to do it', even though it's the 2nd day i've been discharged. till my mom told her to her face that i'm doing my confinement and cannot touch water, then she summoned my hubby to do it together with her every day.
so according to her, i can touch water, but cannot on the fan. i told her the weather is too hot and she asked me to let the fan blow onto the wall so that the wind will 'bounce back' and cool me down.
the best part is, unlike many mils, she's the world's #1 advocate for breastfeeding. when my baby is readmitted to hospital due to jaundice 2 days after discharge, she told me to go station myself inside the ICU for the entire 2 days that he was warded so that the breastfeeding will not be disrupted. hubby also cannot tahan and tell her firmly that we will not be doing that i need to rest after delivery. then when i started having problems breastfeeding during the confinement month and asked for her advice (cos she bfed 4 kids), her standard answer is, bfing no need to learn one, last time my daughter born in the morning, by afternoon she knows how to do when i put her to the breast already!!!
there are lots of other things that drive me up the wall, but to cut a long story short, it was the WORST one month of my life.
in the end, i was so glad when she finally went home.
till today, dear son is close to everyone in the IL family except her despite her stay with us during the confinement period cos she never warmed up to him. i lost count of how many times i was pacifying baby on my own while she's in the living room entertaining her own family and friends.
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You lucky girl.your hubby is so sweet to do that.
 
bbgal_2010

bbgal_2010

Member
vinder79 said:
LETS CROSS OUR FINGERS FOR you OK.Anyways how is your baby??
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Poor baby having fever..due to the jab...haiz n my mother in law claim it's becoz too "heaty" ask me to gv my baby some barley water...told her was due to jab..she insist that maybe oso coz i bath her late...(not in the morning as my baby still slping...can't bear to wake her up juz becoz i need to bath her...esp nwadaes afternoon rainning she said told u not to bath her in the afternoon is too late..sum more raining...but i use warm water ma...wad got to do with raining?
 
T

tanglin

New Member
bbgal_2010 said:
Poor baby having fever..due to the jab...sigh n my mother in law claim it's becoz too "heaty" ask me to gv my baby some barley water...told her was due to jab..she insist that maybe also coz i bath her late...(not in the morning as my baby still sleeping...can't bear to wake her up just becoz i need to bath her...esp nwadaes afternoon rainning she said told you not to bath her in the afternoon is too late..sum more raining...but i use warm water ...what got to do with raining?
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bbgal_2010,

old folks' thinking sama sama. at that time my mother in law also said we are to skip bathing the baby for that entire day if it happens to be a rainy day. but he perspired so much cos everytime he's sleeping she will wrap layers of blankets & thick towels around him.
btw, did your doc/pediatrician give you any fever med to stand by? it will be good to ask for some when you have to bring baby for jab.

your mother in law leaving soon right? jia you jia you! you've made it thru so far..just less than a week to go!:001_302:
 
T

tanglin

New Member
vinder79 said:
You lucky girl.your hubby is so sweet to do that.
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ya i suppose so. but he also admitted that he never thought he will be caught stuck in between his wife and his mom cos the 2 of us have always had a cordial relationship all these years. me too...i always thought that having a 3rd generation will help to bridge the generation gap and bring family members closer? especially since it is a long awaited 1st grandson that the ils have expressly requested for. but i later read on the net from others' experiences that their relationship with their ils actually worsened after grandchild was born. so...
 
cocraze

cocraze

Active Member
tanglin said:
ya i suppose so. but he also admitted that he never thought he will be caught stuck in between his wife and his mom cos the 2 of us have always had a cordial relationship all these years. me too...i always thought that having a 3rd generation will help to bridge the generation gap and bring family members closer? especially since it is a long awaited 1st grandson that the ils have expressly requested for. but i later read on the net from others' experiences that their relationship with their ils actually worsened after grandchild was born. so...
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Agree! I'm facing the same thing. So many more areas of conflict as a) got differences in views on parenting and caring for kid; b) I gotta stay at home almost 24/7 so face MIL 16/5(all my non sleeping hours during weekday).

We also had cordial rship so far before my girl came along, but I knew it wasn't easy already. Cos I was living with them since marriage and I always wanted to escape from the house each weekend or when I'm clearing leave. Sometimes even when I'm on MC!

Now it's really quite sour largely bcos I got v bad temper and flare up. Dun even care that they are my ILs... I talk back Liao. So I find it very hard to stop doing so and be nice and subservient all over again. Can't wait to move out though I know it will be a different set of bigger problems being SAHM on my own, with hubby...
 
vinder79

vinder79

Active Member
I went to see my MIL yesterday for dinner with my husband.First thing she asked was WHERE ARE MY GRANDSONS.Crap she has only been to see my sons elder 1-abt 6 times since birth.He is 23 mths now.younger son 8 mths-3 times.twice after birth when i was still in hospital and once when my baby went through his op.Even when she came to visit him after his op she just came look see look see then went gossiping to other beds.Imagine her scolding me without looking at the time it was 10 pm.i PUT MY SONS TO SLEEP FIRST WITH MY MUM AND HELPER WATCHING THEM BEFORE I CAME.Then she started nagging and nagging and my husband paid me $200 in advance not to answer her back so i had no choice i did not want her to insist on us comming to her house 2 morrow so i just kept quiet.What the hell is wrong with this funny MIL. Insecure is it???? I told my hubb last night was the last time i am giving her face cause i dont believe she did a PERFECT JOB IN RAISING HIM AND HIS SIBLINGS UP.
 
vinder79

vinder79

Active Member
cocraze said:
Agree! I'm facing the same thing. So many more areas of conflict as a) got differences in views on parenting and caring for kid; b) I gotta stay at home almost 24/7 so face mother in law 16/5(all my non sleeping hours during weekday).

We also had cordial rship so far before my girl came along, but I knew it wasn't easy already. Cos I was living with them since marriage and I always wanted to escape from the house each weekend or when I'm clearing leave. Sometimes even when I'm on MC!

Now it's really quite sour largely bcos I got very bad temper and flare up. dont even care that they are my ILs... I talk back . So I find it very hard to stop doing so and be nice and subservient all over again. Can't wait to move out though I know it will be a different set of bigger problems being stay at home mum on my own, with hubby...
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Been there Done that.Its more difficult but at least u have your own space and peace of mind.
 
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