My mother-in-law, Mdm L rom hell

[peppermint]

Hi ladies sorry for interupting reading your post has made me wanna tell you the story with my mother in law.
Well i have been married to her son almost 10 yrs and am plump.
When i gave birth in 2008(1st baby) my dear husband uncle came over to my house to see my son 1st time. Came with his family and my dear husband grandma and my mother in law.Well firstly i haaven finesh confiment but cause they wanted to see baby i brought him home from my mum house.
After some time wit them suddenly his uncle points out that my mother in law (40KG) LOOKS MORE LIKE MY HUSBAND'S WIFE than me. I got frustrated as i was very edgy with them and their remarks already so i told him off.My dear husband already knew i didnT have much patience for his family as in 6 yrs of marriage(at that time) they never bothered about us. Not even to attend our wedding( No one from his mum side came).He distracted me to the room.
I brought my baby in as i wanted to feed him and next thing my mother in law ENTERS MY ROOM(dOOR IS CLOSED) i stared at my hubby and he shouted at his mum to leave the room.
This came around as the day i gave birth this sickening woman came with my dear husband stepfather after to the hospital and after smoking wanted to carry my baby, my sis told her to wash and disinfect hand and take a drink first.She got very angry but shut up as dear husband had already been warning her throughout the yrs about her attitude to me.Well in my house when they came to visit she and my dear husband granny cornered me in the kitchen say baby 1st month must make grand his family very big if dont his granny wanna talk to my mum etc. I ans her that no need talk to my mum ask granny talk to me as its my child. I also have very big family and they have functions for baby as well. That time baby was only 2 weeks old.
When baby turn 1 month my mum ask my hubb to do 40 days celebration instead as i am sikh and he is chinese.My dear husband agreed but said if his mum side wanna do 30 days let them.
During my son 1st month celebration which we paid for my son's ang pows, jewerly and clothes/gifts never reached us.My mother in law took it all.That really opened my dear husband EYES. wHEN MY SON's 40 days paid by my mum, ang pow/ gifts/jewererely came directly to us as mum told guest to give us.
That gesture won my dear husband heart. He was never the same with my mother in law.
After that several times he saw me making an effort 2wards hiis mum and the way she rebuffs me.
1st major eye opener 2009 baby in hospital, mother in law comes in hot pants and is gossiping with other beds instead of seeing her grandchild.dear husband tells her to fuck off and get out of hospital.
2nd eye opener- 2008 baby 2nd birthday mother in law LIGHTS UP IN FRONT OF KIDS and dear husband blows his gasket.
mother in law and dear husband dont talk for 10mths. Only i go see her alone.dear husband does not let kids go.
In april 2010 my sis was getting married so i invited my mother in law and her whole family.
Dont know why after that day she started treating me better.
only thing i know on 17th April she came to my new house(1st time) gave me 4 pcs jewerely and i was shit worried.
OMG WHAT DOES SHE WANT NOW??
Then she commented that my extended family was very big and even though my dad not around looked like everyone supported us in all we do.
She was also talking about my immediate and extended family and their relationship with my sons and her son.
I TOLD HER THAT MY FAMILY COMES IN A PACKAGE: My dear husband told her that my family is such that to have him and her grandsons she has to treat me right.
We all had a very good talk that day.
FINALLY my mother in law said that she was proud about the way i kept my family.
It has been going good for us from then till now(touch wood)Nowadays she evens calls me just to chat and when i have problems i can talk to her(of course i dont tell her everything)
Deepavali is something i also celebrate and surprisingly this year she actually came to stay wit us during that time and even went to visit my mum.
I really hope all who have mother in law problems do improve. I took me 10 yrs might take some ppl more but ultimately we have to realise that our hubbies are not blind just take some time before they get wise.Husbands out there take note you cant play both good and bad.you were born by your mum its polite for your wife to respect her but you also married your wife its also justified to ask your mum to respect her as a daughter in law.
Ladies we all have sons and dreams for our sons and daughters but too have their spouses mouth off to us is something we also wont like to endure.
Ladies and gents this is just my 2 cents worth so pls dont get offended by my words. I just hope to share something my mum taught me.

Hi Vinder79, you are always welcome to the thread.

Wow, you are really a sweet DIL because I will NEVER ever go and visit my MIL alone, in whatever situation may it be. Neither would I want to be left alone with her because she will start to say nasty things to me (it happened a couple of times even so it's just 2 mins with her) or she will start her gossips and turn around to add words into my mouth. I noticed none other in my extended family wants to be next to her at family gatherings too. She's always left alone and she will try to stick very closely to her son, my husband and start her gossip again - yes, even at family gatherings. She cannot live a second without gossiping about others.

You are lucky that things turn out for the better with your MIL. I've known my MIL for 10 years, married for 6 years. First 4 years, i already have bad brush with her (read my earlier thread on her using my shaver or how she digs my stuff) Unlikely she will change for the better because she has a very stubborn and evil and contradicting character. I have seen her tearing her son and her husband apart - if you managed to read my earlier post about her brainwashing my husband since he was a young boy. And now that she thinks that she has lost her son, she now treats her husband very nice, like buy him shirts, get him food,etc. Once, my husband left us alone to excuse to the toilet. My mother-in-law start her nonsense with me - she started to blink her eyes so much to pretend that she's tearing (but there's no tears!! Haha). She started to tell me that she knows my husband hates his dad a lot and she's very sad. She said Daddy already so old, why can't he treat daddy better and she hope I can talk to him. I just replied to my MIL that K doesnt hate his daddy, it's just they don't talk and period. Don't even want to go any further with her for she should be aware that she brainwashed her son since he was a kid. What more can I do? It's good enough that my husband still remembers his dad's birthday and we still goes for a good meal each time.

I will still stay a distance from her but still give her the basic respect only when we meet. I have seen how she treats or say about others even so they didnt offend her and i dont think she has a heart of a mother. Unlikely I will change my opinin about her because she has crossed the line, not once but many times.

 

[peppermint]

Oh yeh oh yeah gd luck to us man !!! My hubby didn't object and I ren told him abt this forum and ur mother in law is soooo similar to his mum and somemore same age he laugh... He take it very easy nw... I don think MIL plays mj with urs cos she only act rich only so she doesn't have rich friends.... N mj is at her place at admiralty...
For getting pregnant there's no such things tt festive or not la... Let's say of u r abt to give birth around cny does it mean u must hold back ur baby till after cny? Nonsense rite.., haha

Oh my MIL is indeed cash rich but she will always tell others that she's very poor and she will dress up like a poor bitch. She has very contradicting character. One moment she say she is poor or is saving up for her retirement (when she's already retired), next she's don up like a Christmas tree with all her ugly gold jewelleries and still dare tell others that she's very poor. Like one moment she says how much she wanted a branded bag and next she said she doesn't like - all her switching of the mind can happened within the same conversation you know? She's weird.

 

[peppermint]

My mil also went through my stuff even commented abt her son eating less(but putting on weight).
For going through my stuff what i did was i took out 2 bags next time i went to see her in front of hubby said mummy that day u looking through our cupbord i saw u looking at these bags u want take la.My hubby was shocked that she went through our stuff. Good $200 loss but she learnt a lesson.
During my first 6yrs of marriage everytime use to get comments her son losing weight my food not cooked nicely. One day bought chk ask her make curry. During cooking suddenly turns to me ask if got msg. I told her no as i dont use in my cooking.Then i go into living rm tell hubby go buy msg ur mum say no msg cant cook.
After that day no comments abt my cooking either.
Nowadays when she comes ask me to cook curry.
Recently when she came saw me opening abolone to make porridge for my boys.
Later she directly ask me abt grocery bill.When i told her amt she told me very high.When i did a division foor her she understood.last time she would have directly bitch to my hubby abt it.

My MIL digs my stuff and even take it away from me without my permission AND without me knowing! It's as good as her STEALING! If I chanced about it, she will give me some lame excuse e.g. "oh, I thought you don't want it.". Hello?? She digs my cupboard, not the rubbish bin!! Hate her! She even 'steal' my costume jewllery and MIS-Match the, with her dressing. If I see it, she can tell me that because she noticed I seldom wear the jewelleey, so she took it LOR!!! OMG!

 

[xiaodaisy]

For mine is opposite..my hubby is her maid + money tree so after we got married and move to our own place se demanded my hubby to help her clean her Hm every house cleaning before cny... But Cos last time I work retail hrs so yr end very busy... I told my hubby out house not in time to clear up so he clear our own house till no time go over lor...

ur hubby still ok with cleaning for her ? so how this yr ? she calling ur hubby to be her Mario again?





peppermint !!! how's today lunch ? still at ur mil's place?

 

[Excited Mummy]

My hubby is the only son. MIL has 2 other daughters. Hubby wanted to live near his parents, so I said ok. But i said not too near.
he actually wanted to be in same block if possible! luckily no. we live 2 streets away...
but hubby parks the car nearer to his parents' place. every morning, he would walk over to his parents' place. almost every evening, he would go to his parents' place too. i dont go over to his parents' place to eat as I do not like the food cooked by the maid and some times, his parents, as well as the disgusting eating habits of his two sisters who do not use common serving spoons. they would pick at the food. i dont want to eat their saliva. yucks!

Some time ago, I felt very upset that my hubby's parents do not show me much care and concern. They have a grand-daughter from one of their daughters and fuss over the 5-year old a lot. Until now, it was upon my hubby's request that they cooked bird's nest for me ONCE only.

My earlier posting is found here:
http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f171/edd-jan-2012-mummies-66688/index26.html

 

[vinder79]

Hi ladies,
First thing first i am not sweet.i BITCH ABT HER like crazy to my mum but dont wanna put my hubby in the spot so dont make things 2 hard on her.
I usually just catch her by her words so she knows not to fool ard with me.
I give her basic respect. I go and see her as i feel i married her son and i dont want her to think i stole her son away.
Yesterday she told us to buy condo she will come and stay with us. Immediately i told hubby buy the ones only at katong etc as my mummy can stay with us also.I am the eldest daughter. My dad passed on.
My hubby immediately told her buy must buy terrace hse as we will also have responsibility of my mum.
TOPIC SHUT)
Babes thoughout i have learnt i will not ans her rudely unless i have 2 as hubby has already been warned to shut her up if she talks rubbish.

 

[peppermint]

your hubby still ok with cleaning for her ? so how this yr ? she calling your hubby to be her Mario again?





peppermint !!! how's today lunch ? still at your mother in law's place?

Hihi xiaodaisy,

Lunch still the same. She's still there, still as irritating but this week, she spoke/parrot~ed less but still as irritating.

Mdm L has his irritating look and action - she will twitch her lips (like the disapproving manner) and look at people with her tilted head. I really hope I can post a picture of her man!!!! In fact, recently I try not to look at her. If not, I will look like her also *touch wood* ~piu~

Her voice is as irritating as her looks and so is her sly laughter. Her voice is very piercing to the ears and loud but if she wants to whisper, she can go reallys soft.

And what I meant by 'parrot' earlier - she always like to repeat LOUDLY what others have just said (when most of the time, it doesn't concern her and NOT even talking to HER!!) and she will continue to add on 10 more lines to it even when the person is still talking. Very rude and very noisy, like a fish market!!! Example, K, my husband will be talking to Grandma, "why still want to go HK, nothing has change and dim sum as good as those in HK can be found in SG too." Before K finish his sentence, Mdm L will start..."ya lor, things in HK can be found here. Anyway, when you go holiday you also sleep in the hotel room, blah blah blah, and everytime you want to go holiday but you know grandfather cannot walk much, then who is going to look after the both of you, blah blah blah....may as well give you $100 each and you both go to MBS casino and enjoy the aircon and free drinks, blah blah blah."

oh Shuddup!!! isn't it?? Sigh. No wonder I always have headaches on Sunday lunch.

 

[peppermint]

Hi ladies,
First thing first i am not sweet.i BITCH ABT HER like crazy to my mum but dont wanna put my hubby in the spot so dont make things 2 hard on her.
I usually just catch her by her words so she knows not to fool ard with me.
I give her basic respect. I go and see her as i feel i married her son and i dont want her to think i stole her son away.
Yesterday she told us to buy condo she will come and stay with us. Immediately i told hubby buy the ones only at katong etc as my mummy can stay with us also.I am the eldest daughter. My dad passed on.
My hubby immediately told her buy must buy terrace hse as we will also have responsibility of my mum.
TOPIC SHUT)
Babes thoughout i have learnt i will not ans her rudely unless i have 2 as hubby has already been warned to shut her up if she talks rubbish.

But you see, you still went to visit her when your hubby doesn't want to go. For me, I will be jumping for joy if hubby doesn't go visit and neither will I go visit her. NEVER!! I rather see no evil, hear no evil.
I rather spend my time chatting with senior folks at the old folks home.

 

[peppermint]

My hubby is the only son. MIL has 2 other daughters. Hubby wanted to live near his parents, so I said ok. But i said not too near.
he actually wanted to be in same block if possible! luckily no. we live 2 streets away...
but hubby parks the car nearer to his parents' place. every morning, he would walk over to his parents' place. almost every evening, he would go to his parents' place too. i dont go over to his parents' place to eat as I do not like the food cooked by the maid and some times, his parents, as well as the disgusting eating habits of his two sisters who do not use common serving spoons. they would pick at the food. i dont want to eat their saliva. yucks!

Some time ago, I felt very upset that my hubby's parents do not show me much care and concern. They have a grand-daughter from one of their daughters and fuss over the 5-year old a lot. Until now, it was upon my hubby's request that they cooked bird's nest for me ONCE only.

My earlier posting is found here:
http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f171/edd-jan-2012-mummies-66688/index26.html

My parents-in-law too!!! They like to pick and choose which piece they want, and I mean, pick with their chopstick, say a piece of roost chicken, look at the left & right side of it, and throw (yes THROW) it back to the dish, and take another one until they are satisified with it. They do it at wedding and family dinners too and even when they are down with the flu bug. But if say, there are strangers at the table, they will usually act demure, but you can see, they are very uncomfortable, like seated with ants on their bums. I will usually monitor them and quickly take my first serving unless they haven't 'played' with the food.

Pardon me, but I don't see why should you stay close to your in-laws when they are not even taking care of you. I suppose two streets away is still better than staying just across your house, like in my situation. But still?!! So you husband is a mummy's boy?

I feel that, you should try to follow your hubby back to his mother's place at times. You never know how in-laws can brainwash your hubby, or create nonsense to jeopardize your relationship with your hubby.

 

[babymoo]

Just nice opposite ... My MIL like to dress up like christmas tree... Like to show off as if she very rich but she's not in fact...She like to show ff her jewelleries. Her dressings r always too over n somemre imagine her age and she still gt the cheek to ask for my clothes n she wanna wear!!

Oh my MIL is indeed cash rich but she will always tell others that she's very poor and she will dress up like a poor bitch. She has very contradicting character. One moment she say she is poor or is saving up for her retirement (when she's already retired), next she's don up like a Christmas tree with all her ugly gold jewelleries and still dare tell others that she's very poor. Like one moment she says how much she wanted a branded bag and next she said she doesn't like - all her switching of the mind can happened within the same conversation you know? She's weird.

 

[babymoo]

From first yr I already pulled back my hubby le... So he won't b helping her wahhahaha !!!!

ur hubby still ok with cleaning for her ? so how this yr ? she calling ur hubby to be her Mario again?





peppermint !!! how's today lunch ? still at ur mil's place?

 

[babymoo]

Woohoo~~~ same as me !!! I do happy I nv c her nv hear her voice... Her voice is irritating to me oso... Lol.... Hw I wish u c my MIL real face man !!! Lol.....

But you see, you still went to visit her when your hubby doesn't want to go. For me, I will be jumping for joy if hubby doesn't go visit and neither will I go visit her. NEVER!! I rather see no evil, hear no evil.
I rather spend my time chatting with senior folks at the old folks home.

 

[babymoo]

Ya true !!! U need to follow him back Hm... Last time I work in retail line n hubby go back alone and he really will kanna brainwashed.... So b careful....
Disgusting man.... With flu bugs and somemore playing with food... Though my family don have common spoon but we will take n go... We won't b there digging the food

My parents-in-law too!!! They like to pick and choose which piece they want, and I mean, pick with their chopstick, say a piece of roost chicken, look at the left & right side of it, and throw (yes THROW) it back to the dish, and take another one until they are satisified with it. They do it at wedding and family dinners too and even when they are down with the flu bug. But if say, there are strangers at the table, they will usually act demure, but you can see, they are very uncomfortable, like seated with ants on their bums. I will usually monitor them and quickly take my first serving unless they haven't 'played' with the food.

Pardon me, but I don't see why should you stay close to your in-laws when they are not even taking care of you. I suppose two streets away is still better than staying just across your house, like in my situation. But still?!! So you husband is a mummy's boy?

I feel that, you should try to follow your hubby back to his mother's place at times. You never know how in-laws can brainwash your hubby, or create nonsense to jeopardize your relationship with your hubby.

 

[xiaodaisy]

My hubby is the only son. MIL has 2 other daughters. Hubby wanted to live near his parents, so I said ok. But i said not too near.
he actually wanted to be in same block if possible! luckily no. we live 2 streets away...
but hubby parks the car nearer to his parents' place. every morning, he would walk over to his parents' place. almost every evening, he would go to his parents' place too. i dont go over to his parents' place to eat as I do not like the food cooked by the maid and some times, his parents, as well as the disgusting eating habits of his two sisters who do not use common serving spoons. they would pick at the food. i dont want to eat their saliva. yucks!

Some time ago, I felt very upset that my hubby's parents do not show me much care and concern. They have a grand-daughter from one of their daughters and fuss over the 5-year old a lot. Until now, it was upon my hubby's request that they cooked bird's nest for me ONCE only.

My earlier posting is found here:
http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f171/edd-jan-2012-mummies-66688/index26.html

wen i say not too near to hubby , mil stay jurong west , we applied hse in the east side LOL

so ur expecting ur first child now? so ur baby suppose is the eldest grandchildren in the family ?

Hi ladies,
First thing first i am not sweet.i BITCH about HER like crazy to my mum but dont wanna put my hubby in the spot so dont make things 2 hard on her.
I usually just catch her by her words so she knows not to fool around with me.
I give her basic respect. I go and see her as i feel i married her son and i dont want her to think i stole her son away.
Yesterday she told us to buy condo she will come and stay with us. Immediately i told hubby buy the ones only at katong etc as my mummy can stay with us also.I am the eldest daughter. My dad passed on.
My hubby immediately told her buy must buy terrace house as we will also have responsibility of my mum.
TOPIC SHUT)
Babes thoughout i have learnt i will not ans her rudely unless i have 2 as hubby has already been warned to shut her up if she talks rubbish.

lucky my hubby is quite ok with me on not staying with his mom even tho he's the eldest son and the one with kids so his mom would actually LOVE staying with us ..

i tink mil know wells how her son actually is , even without me , my hubby dont like visiting her so often as she nags so much on my hubby till he don like at all , so most of the time i'm quite blessed wen mil have no time to find fault with me as she's busy nagging her son lol

Hihi xiaodaisy,

Lunch still the same. She's still there, still as irritating but this week, she spoke/parrot~ed less but still as irritating.

Mdm L has his irritating look and action - she will twitch her lips (like the disapproving manner) and look at people with her tilted head. I really hope I can post a picture of her man!!!! In fact, recently I try not to look at her. If not, I will look like her also *touch wood* ~piu~

Her voice is as irritating as her looks and so is her sly laughter. Her voice is very piercing to the ears and loud but if she wants to whisper, she can go reallys soft.

And what I meant by 'parrot' earlier - she always like to repeat LOUDLY what others have just said (when most of the time, it doesn't concern her and NOT even talking to HER!!) and she will continue to add on 10 more lines to it even when the person is still talking. Very rude and very noisy, like a fish market!!! Example, K, my husband will be talking to Grandma, "why still want to go HK, nothing has change and dim sum as good as those in HK can be found in SG too." Before K finish his sentence, Mdm L will start..."ya lor, things in HK can be found here. Anyway, when you go holiday you also sleep in the hotel room, blah blah blah, and everytime you want to go holiday but you know grandfather cannot walk much, then who is going to look after the both of you, blah blah blah....may as well give you $100 each and you both go to MBS casino and enjoy the aircon and free drinks, blah blah blah."

oh Shuddup!!! isn't it?? Sigh. No wonder I always have headaches on Sunday lunch.

really so hard on u to see her EVERY sunday for lunch ..

heng i dont really have to see her so often , maybe the next visit will be cny only .. lol

Just nice opposite ... My MIL like to dress up like christmas tree... Like to show off as if she very rich but she's not in fact...She like to show ff her jewelleries. Her dressings r always too over n somemre imagine her age and she still gt the cheek to ask for my clothes n she wanna wear!!

wah !!! season wear now !! christmas is coming !!

u should download the song ''Santa Claus is coming to town'' den everytime she come ur place , play for her !! LOL

 

[Excited Mummy]

i go only once in a while... dont like to see them / talk to them as less conflict that way. more interaction = more conflict.
my hubby is a mummy's boy. i told him that before. but after all, those are his parents, so i don't want to to bad.
even though i have a driving licence, i dont drive my hubby's car when he is out of town. his mum will drive.
i actually take public transport, even when i am pregnant. hubby had accompanied me to ante-natal classes and gynae check-ups etc.
but his mum and sis always call him, more often than me, and even when he is driving or when he is accompanying me for chk-ups etc. i find it irritating. my parents don't do that to me.
long long ago, when we were dating, his mum would also call him several times to ask him trivial stuff / run errands like buy fruits, bread etc. just trying to get attention etc.

yes, xiaodaisy, i'm expecting my 1st child... will be the 1st grandson to bear the surname / carry on the lineage but so what?
i dont think my parent-in-laws actually care. my father-in-law prefers his own daughters to my hubby. strange right?
my mother-in-law sees me as snatching away her son and has been unfriendly to me since the 1st time i had dinner at their place.
both of them, esp y father-in-law, loves his daughter's daughter till she is super spoilt. that girl even threw a plastic chair at me when I had dinner at their place some time ago. I avoid going there as there are always toys strewn on the floor. now that i am pregnant, if i step on one of her toys, and slip an fall, then how? that girl also vandalise the walls, spoil the doors' locks, pee on the floor etc... she is already 5 years old but behave like a spoilt brat younger than her actual age. they spoil her too much. cannot scold, cannot cane etc.
i had tried to discipline her by talking sense to her, but she would use her tears as weapon. so i dont care anymore.

i am really scared how my own child will be like if my in-laws help to look after?
my hubby and i will get a domestic helper but when we go to work, he says we will take our baby and the maid over to my in-laws' place for my MIL to watch over!

sigh... i told him my parents are actually better in disciplining kids... but we live too far from them.

 

[babymoo]

Lucky my hubby agrees not to let his mum take care if I have kids... Hmmm.... My hubby use to b mummy boy but not anymore nw cos he sees wat his mum did...

Xiao daisy: his mum not English educated so doubt she understand if I played tt song hahahah...
But it's really a disgrace to bring his mum out though... All fake goods.,, throw face... ESP she like to pull my arm when going out.., got once she even make me nearly fall down ... I'm so mad

i go only once in a while... dont like to see them / talk to them as less conflict that way. more interaction = more conflict.
my hubby is a mummy's boy. i told him that before. but after all, those are his parents, so i don't want to to bad.
even though i have a driving licence, i dont drive my hubby's car when he is out of town. his mum will drive.
i actually take public transport, even when i am pregnant. hubby had accompanied me to ante-natal classes and gynae check-ups etc.
but his mum and sis always call him, more often than me, and even when he is driving or when he is accompanying me for chk-ups etc. i find it irritating. my parents don't do that to me.
long long ago, when we were dating, his mum would also call him several times to ask him trivial stuff / run errands like buy fruits, bread etc. just trying to get attention etc.

yes, xiaodaisy, i'm expecting my 1st child... will be the 1st grandson to bear the surname / carry on the lineage but so what?
i dont think my parent-in-laws actually care. my father-in-law prefers his own daughters to my hubby. strange right?
my mother-in-law sees me as snaJtching away her son and has been unfriendly to me since the 1st time i had dinner at their place.
both of them, esp y father-in-law, loves his daughter's daughter till she is super spoilt. that girl even threw a plastic chair at me when I had dinner at their place some time ago. I avoid going there as there are always toys strewn on the floor. now that i am pregnant, if i step on one of her toys, and slip an fall, then how? that girl also vandalise the walls, spoil the doors' locks, pee on the floor etc... she is already 5 years old but behave like a spoilt brat younger than her actual age. they spoil her too much. cannot scold, cannot cane etc.
i had tried to discipline her by talking sense to her, but she would use her tears as weapon. so i dont care anymore.

i am really scared how my own child will be like if my in-laws help to look after?
my hubby and i will get a domestic helper but when we go to work, he says we will take our baby and the maid over to my in-laws' place for my MIL to watch over!

sigh... i told him my parents are actually better in disciplining kids... but we live too far from them.

 

[xiaodaisy]

i go only once in a while... dont like to see them / talk to them as less conflict that way. more interaction = more conflict.
my hubby is a mummy's boy. i told him that before. but after all, those are his parents, so i dont't want to to bad.
even though i have a driving licence, i dont drive my hubby's car when he is out of town. his mum will drive.
i actually take public transport, even when i am pregnant. hubby had accompanied me to ante-natal classes and gynae check-ups etc.
but his mum and sis always call him, more often than me, and even when he is driving or when he is accompanying me for chk-ups etc. i find it irritating. my parents dont't do that to me.
long long ago, when we were dating, his mum would also call him several times to ask him trivial stuff / run errands like buy fruits, bread etc. just trying to get attention etc.

yes, xiaodaisy, i'm expecting my 1st child... will be the 1st grandson to bear the surname / carry on the lineage but so what?
i dont think my parent-in-laws actually care. my father-in-law prefers his own daughters to my hubby. strange right?
my mother-in-law sees me as snatching away her son and has been unfriendly to me since the 1st time i had dinner at their place.
both of them, esp y father-in-law, loves his daughter's daughter till she is super spoilt. that girl even threw a plastic chair at me when I had dinner at their place some time ago. I avoid going there as there are always toys strewn on the floor. now that i am pregnant, if i step on one of her toys, and slip an fall, then how? that girl also vandalise the walls, spoil the doors' locks, pee on the floor etc... she is already 5 years old but behave like a spoilt brat younger than her actual age. they spoil her too much. cannot scold, cannot cane etc.
i had tried to discipline her by talking sense to her, but she would use her tears as weapon. so i dont care anymore.

i am really scared how my own child will be like if my in-laws help to look after?
my hubby and i will get a domestic helper but when we go to work, he says we will take our baby and the maid over to my in-laws' place for my mother in law to watch over!

sigh... i told him my parents are actually better in disciplining kids... but we live too far from them.

mind asking how old is ur hubby?

personally i find , if the son is too young , they always see dil in snatching away their son but wen the son get to a certain age like over 30 or more , they start worrying that they dont get married all tis .. haiz

actually , i feel most of the older people tend to dote more on son's kids den daughter's kid as bear their own surname , guess ur pils are not bah ..

ur working now? after birth , u will let ur pils look after?

guess even with maid , she cant do much either if she's over at ur pils place , i rather u place at infant care or wat and after work u fetch the baby back to have bonding with u and ur hubby .. =)

anyway , left abt 1mths + to ur delivery date .. dont be too stress and be a happy mama =)

Lucky my hubby agrees not to let his mum take care if I have kids... Hmmm.... My hubby use to b mummy boy but not anymore nw cos he sees wat his mum did...

Xiao daisy: his mum not English educated so doubt she understand if I played tt song hahahah...
But it's really a disgrace to bring his mum out though... All fake goods.,, throw face... ESP she like to pull my arm when going out.., got once she even make me nearly fall down ... I'm so mad

my mil loves working so heng , she nvr offered to look after my kids .. i tink wen the youngest brother of my hubby get married and have kids , she might ask them throw their kids to me instead LOL !! cos i'm sahm and she always ask me work but i ask her who gonna look after the kids? plus i'm gonna due next yr also , so she always end up to nowhere of asking me to work haha

lol !! she wanna be sister with u so she pull ur arm , den ppl will mistaken tat u both are sisters den she will be damn happy LOL !!

 

[peppermint]

Woohoo~~~ same as me !!! I do happy I never c her never hear her voice... Her voice is irritating to me also... Lol.... Hw I wish you c my mother in law real face man !!! Lol.....

One of my buddy commented that my parents-in-law have a 'kiam pak' face. 'Kiam Pak' means so irritating that they 'deserve a slap'. hahahha

 

[peppermint]

wah !!! season wear now !! christmas is coming !!

u should download the song ''Santa Claus is coming to town'' den everytime she come ur place , play for her !! LOL[/QUOTE]

Oh pluezeee....I like 'Santa Claus is coming to town'. Please don't waste that song on her!!! hahahhaha

 

[peppermint]

i go only once in a while... dont like to see them / talk to them as less conflict that way. more interaction = more conflict.
my hubby is a mummy's boy. i told him that before. but after all, those are his parents, so i don't want to to bad.
even though i have a driving licence, i dont drive my hubby's car when he is out of town. his mum will drive.
i actually take public transport, even when i am pregnant. hubby had accompanied me to ante-natal classes and gynae check-ups etc.
but his mum and sis always call him, more often than me, and even when he is driving or when he is accompanying me for chk-ups etc. i find it irritating. my parents don't do that to me.
long long ago, when we were dating, his mum would also call him several times to ask him trivial stuff / run errands like buy fruits, bread etc. just trying to get attention etc.

yes, xiaodaisy, i'm expecting my 1st child... will be the 1st grandson to bear the surname / carry on the lineage but so what?
i dont think my parent-in-laws actually care. my father-in-law prefers his own daughters to my hubby. strange right?
my mother-in-law sees me as snatching away her son and has been unfriendly to me since the 1st time i had dinner at their place.
both of them, esp y father-in-law, loves his daughter's daughter till she is super spoilt. that girl even threw a plastic chair at me when I had dinner at their place some time ago. I avoid going there as there are always toys strewn on the floor. now that i am pregnant, if i step on one of her toys, and slip an fall, then how? that girl also vandalise the walls, spoil the doors' locks, pee on the floor etc... she is already 5 years old but behave like a spoilt brat younger than her actual age. they spoil her too much. cannot scold, cannot cane etc.
i had tried to discipline her by talking sense to her, but she would use her tears as weapon. so i dont care anymore.

i am really scared how my own child will be like if my in-laws help to look after?
my hubby and i will get a domestic helper but when we go to work, he says we will take our baby and the maid over to my in-laws' place for my MIL to watch over!

sigh... i told him my parents are actually better in disciplining kids... but we live too far from them.

I don't like to see my MIL too, I am sure she doesn't like to see me too. You don't have to interact with them when you are there. Just be a block, like me - enter their house, greet everyone loudly (because some of them can pretend to be so deaf that they don't hear you. Excuse for them to bitch to others that we DILs so rude, never greet them) and just sit there at a corner and pretend to watch TV, play with the phone, etc. And if you are pregnant, better excuse for you and hubby to leave early - just say you not feeling well. Because when we are there, it will make it tough for them to 'bitch' or 'kapo' about us - their conversation will be more restricted. So we have to be there whenever our husbands are back there. We will be an eyesore to them! But that's not our problem right?? Haha!

That's how my MIL is and I can see that she is very very uncomfortable whenever I am around, as she cannot say much to her son (because she has nothing good to say!) and when she cannot control her filthy mouth and mind, she will whisper to her son, right infront of me with her hands cupped to his ears. Rude isn't it?? Hubby is aware that I don't like it and I will ask him later why must whisper?? This will in turn makes his mother looks ugly, bad mannered. hahahha. Then next time, you can find excuses - tell him that his mother NEVER treats you like a family also because she always whisper to him when you are around.

Try to explain to your husband. Example, tell him that there may be in-laws problems later, and that you may get defensive because it is both your child and when you gets defensive, it may look ugly. You shouldnt let your in-laws look after the baby not even when YOUR domestic helper goes over. You will have more headache! Because your in-laws would brainwash your helper and you may end up with MORE problems with your helper - helper who doesn't listen to you and helper who 'reports' everything you do or have to your in-laws. I have heard some helpers complaining that they prefer to be at Ah ma's place than to Mdm's because Ah ma very nice, Ah Ma never make her do alot of things, etc.. And that little girl sets a very bad example for your baby.

The other option is to leave you baby with your mum and bring the baby home on the weekends? Or get your mum to stay with you.