Anyone had Stillbirth?

[kichi]

Just wondering if anyone in this forum had a stillbirth experience? I just had mine yesterday and I find it difficult to find anyone who can share a similar experience as mine. He's my 1stborn : went through all the physical pain during contractions, all the endless bloodtests and today my heart grieves as I am discharged from the hospital without a newborn to hug and hold in my arms. I will never forget this experience till the day I die.

 

[sharonyi66]

Just wondering if anyone in this forum had a stillbirth experience? I just had mine yesterday and I find it difficult to find anyone who can share a similar experience as mine. He's my 1stborn : went through all the physical pain during contractions, all the endless bloodtests and today my heart grieves as I am discharged from the hospital without a newborn to hug and hold in my arms. I will never forget this experience till the day I die.

Sorry to hear that... Take care and rest well

:sayangbaby:

 

[jasobias]

Just wondering if anyone in this forum had a stillbirth experience? I just had mine yesterday and I find it difficult to find anyone who can share a similar experience as mine. He's my 1stborn : went through all the physical pain during contractions, all the endless bloodtests and today my heart grieves as I am discharged from the hospital without a newborn to hug and hold in my arms. I will never forget this experience till the day I die.

I am so sorry for ur loss.My fren had a still birth too.It was the darkest period of her life.NOw she is a mother of 2.Coz of wht she went through..she gives her kids all her love n attention knowing well how precious they r .
If u need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to..do pm me.
Hope u find the strength in u to get through this.N may God lend u his guiding hand.

 

[Ting]

sorry for your loss.
as a mother, we do understand how u feel, how precious is each child..
take care n be strong..

 

[Koala bear mummy]

Very sorry to hear that. I actually feel emotional for you maybe because my own due date is soon..

My friend also lost her baby girl at 3rd tri because of bad flu infection..She later went on to conceive and give birth to another 2 healthy boys.

I can understand it will be one of those experiences some of us will never forget. *Hugs*

 

[littlemoomoo]

Just wondering if anyone in this forum had a stillbirth experience? I just had mine yesterday and I find it difficult to find anyone who can share a similar experience as mine. He's my 1stborn : went through all the physical pain during contractions, all the endless bloodtests and today my heart grieves as I am discharged from the hospital without a newborn to hug and hold in my arms. I will never forget this experience till the day I die.

Hi Kichi,

My thoughts are with you. I went through the same experience as you with my 1st born baby boy... It is a memory you will never forget but you have to move on, dun allow yourself to fall into depression..i know it is hard but hold on to your hubby for support and walk through this.
Look forward to the future and another baby...
Let me know if you need any emotional support.
Take good care of yourself and remember to eat some tonic to replenish and nurse your health back.

Littlemoomoo

 

[xiaochuan]

Hi

Please do take care of yourself. You are definitely not alone.

U may like to read the articles from this webby.
Welcome to Child Bereavement Support

 

[kichi]

Hi all,

Going thru labour for the 1st time was a nightmare. Somehow the painful process had deepened my sense of attachment and love for my lost angel. I'm trying my best to stay together right now and also taking care of the cremation arrangements which is so heartbreaking. To see my little angel burnt and gone forever just breaks my heart. To all mothers in the 3rd trimester right now, pl. take good care of yourself and try to look out for any possible sign that your little one might be in danger in your tummy. Go to the doctor asap as soon as you notice anything might be wrong. Never wait. Your little one in your tummy is very very precious and I will give anything to have my little one back.... : (((

 

[kichi]

Hi little moomoo,

When did it happen to you? What did you do in the end after the birth? Did you create a niche, spread the ashes away....?

 

[shiseru]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

dont know if it's consider stillbirth but I would think yes since stillbirth is the term used to describe the loss of a pregnancy after the 20th week of pregnancy. My baby was diagnosed with spina bifida last Aug, had an induced labor to give birth to my daugther during 20 weeks pregnancy. The whole labor was painful without any rewards, knowing my baby was gonna to die within seconds when she was born, my heart was torn into pieces. I have no baby to carry home that day.

I know a few mummies who had went through similar experience like you. Perhaps you should refer to these support forums

Support Group - Stillbirth
http://www.doesnotwork.com/forumboard/messages/5/288309.html?1256717259

Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy
http://www.doesnotwork.com/forumboard/messages/5/939371.html?1263864658

Take care my dear *Hugz

 

[littlemoomoo]

Hi little moomoo,

When did it happen to you? What did you do in the end after the birth? Did you create a niche, spread the ashes away....?

It happened to me in Dec 2008 and i thought i responded fast when i felt no kicks for last 6 hours, before that he was so active. I rushed to see my gynae but only to put on wait. At that time, my baby was clearly in distress as he was not moving or responding even though his heartbeat still strong. After 1 day of warding, my baby was gone.

The whole process was painful and depressing, i was wheeled in and out of the ward and i kept hearing joys of birth..i asked myself" why me, why take away my boy", i couldn't stop crying and wanted to carry my baby..unwilling to let go.
We cremated my boy which was painful to see him lying in the little coffin, like a sound asleep baby. Although my in laws were against it, we put our baby boy in columbarium so that our future children will know that they have an elder brother.

 

[kichi]

Hi Shiseru,

I think yours is more of a miscarriage cos I think in Singapore, stillbirth is considered 28 weeks and above. Yes, i agree with you that you have to go thru labour without any rewards. Its a terrible feeling. I gave birth at TMC and its always heartbreaking when you see people carry their newborn ready to go home at the entrance while you have to discreetly leave the hospital from the backdoor with a coffin instead. Thanks for your recommendations, will look up these support groups you mentioned.

 

[kichi]

Hi littlemoomoo,

My heart goes to you as I was in the same position as you these few days. At least you responded. I didn't even respond as I didn't know much being a first time mum. Like you, I decided to put him in a columbarium as I want to remember him and put him close to us and our hearts. Why are your in-laws so heartless to be against this decision? They think its jinxed? Its so cruel to throw his ashes away right? I'm glad I spent some time holding my baby and talking to him before he went. Whenever I look at my tummy, I will always remember that it used to be his home. Our lost angels will always be in pur heart. I'm glad I was able to share my experience with you.

 

[littlemoomoo]

Hi Shiseru,

I think yours is more of a miscarriage cos I think in Singapore, stillbirth is considered 28 weeks and above. Yes, i agree with you that you have to go thru labour without any rewards. Its a terrible feeling. I gave birth at Thomson Medical Center and its always heartbreaking when you see people carry their newborn ready to go home at the entrance while you have to discreetly leave the hospital from the backdoor with a coffin instead. Thanks for your recommendations, will look up these support groups you mentioned.

Hi Kichi,

I also delivered at TMC and i told myself i would not go back to the same place again and definitely not the same gynae whom i felt, was partly at fault for not handling the situation well.

For your situation, i would encourage you to consult KKH for your next pregnancy to play safe.
Now i am with KKH and my gynae, knowing my situation, is very attentive.

You take care and be strong. Dun fall into depression like i did, almost everyday i had suicidal thoughts and my hubby was very worried about me. Trust me, your hubby might feel even worse inside but just that men dun show their emotions out. I had to go through counselling sessions under my hubby's persuasion.

Now i have walked out of the shadow, wound healed but memory always remain.

Eat some confinement food and replenish your strength so you can have the next baby soon.

Littlemoomoo

 

[littlehelper]

Hey do take care.

My aunty had a still birth many many many years back.It was her second child.
Her third pregnancy were twins.
She has a older boy and twins.

 

[nancy]

My colleague had a stillbirth when she was 5 months pregnant. She was preparing to return to work the following day ( she was confined to bed rest during her 1st trimester) and the next thing she knew.. she was on labour and gave birth to a stillborn baby. She and her hubby had tried a long time to have a baby. She refused to talk to anyone. Soon she was pregnant again with a pair of twins and she was bedridden throughout her pregnancy. Unfortunately she delivered in her 6th month and soon she lost one of the twins after 2 weeks due to infection. But now, her surviving twin, though very prematured, is a fighter and is now a happy 1 yr old baby.

 

[kichi]

Dear nancy and little helper,

Thanks for sharing your stories with me cos you've given me hope that I can have my own children someday in the near future.

 

[nancy]

Dear nancy and little helper,

Thanks for sharing your stories with me cos you've given me hope that I can have my own children someday in the near future.

You're welcome Kichi.. Remember that you're not alone.. Hang in there and really hope to hear good news from you soon :>

 

[izanyzam]

Hi kichi..Although ive never had a stillborn,ive had 3 miscarriages in the past so the pain of losing our little angel is all the same..My heart goes out to you..I wish you will recover soon..Rest well my dear.. *HUGS*

 

[woofy55]

sorry to hear that kichi. it really sadden me when i see you mention "have to discreetly leave the hospital from the backdoor with a coffin instead"... i know it's hard not to think about him. But take care of your own health, so that you can recuperate fast and try for the next baby. If you do believe in reincarnation, he will be back again as your child. Take care.