Cant stand my mil, do u?

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jovin83

Member
Yeah.. bought a playpen and Jus invested on a mattress for my bb. And Mil ask.. I think ur bb dun like to sleep in the playpen issit? I told her " is becos u let him sleep too much on ur BED" Next time he dun sleep in the playpen and wanna sleep with us... I wun kno how to take care.

When ppl say my boy looks good.. She say like hubby.. When i call my boy "little naughty boy" she say "like the mummy lor" -_- I am so dumb..:(
 
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Asphere

Active Member
wah liew.. y like that.. for my case inlaw side keeps saying my boy looks like hubby then i will go where got. my boy got big beautiful eyes the father eyes so small.. i even dig out my baby photo and put on fb to show them my boy looks more like me haha.. but i guess all grandparents will feel the grandkid looks more like their own child.
haha.. but i still like it when ppl said my boy has my feature :) haha. i guess that's mother nature?
 
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yann13

New Member
Ha! Ya mine aso! My mil always say my bb looks like father to everyone. When my mum say look like me, she will say got meh? Look more like father. :( then when other ppl says look like grandma, she so happy! But i dun feel good loh.
This morn she n i got misunderstanding, aiyo i so xin ku. Nw i started working already, although nt facing her whole day but when i reach hm saw her, i just cant control feeling frustrated.
 
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yann13

New Member
Yap she looking after my baby! My hubby also know abt it n kept saying she old already let her be. I also know she old but i nvr flare up at her. I just endure loh.
 
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Asphere

Active Member
maybe your hubby can go and talk to her. coz it is just not right and it is not healthy for you.
I once told both side of parents that my son is my son i welcome advise but i decide how i upbring him.
And i was very firm that time and till now all keep quiet and dun dare to voice out too much. and their attitude is nicer now.
 
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yann13

New Member
Asphere said:
maybe your hubby can go and talk to her. coz it is just not right and it is not healthy for you.
I once told both side of parents that my son is my son i welcome advise but i decide how i upbring him.
And i was very firm that time and till now all keep quiet and dun dare to voice out too much. and their attitude is nicer now.
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Ya! My hubby told her already but no changes leh. Her first grandchild but overprotective of my son. Oh come on, will we hurt our own child or not. Ytd she slap my hand hard when i carrying my bb, commented i dunno hw to carry. N pls will i make my son to fall or make him uncomfortable ? I noe how i controlling my hand.She really too gan jiong already. Ytd i really
hate her to the core, nearly want to shout at her. She let me fekt like she gg snatch my bb away loh n prove tat she is the best.
 
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Asphere

Active Member
alamak.. sorry but if i were u, i may tell her in her face that it is my child and i use my life to bring the kid to the world i wont hurt the kid.infact i will dote him more than anyone else..
Coz I simply cannot tahan ppl thinking i will hurt my own child. :) abit mean to do the above but everyone has a limit and most importantly we are the mothers!!! be firm and get your hubby to be firm too..
wah i read ur post i also feel angry for you.. argh~~
 
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hackers13jo

New Member
Hi to all the Mummy,

After read all your post, I totally sympathies with you all. I have a Mother that threat me like second class citizen and a MIL that behave like Queen Bee. I have come to a point that I can no longer take anymore of their crap. After giving birth to my gal and getting more and more crap from the two of them, I have made a important decision to put my gal as my first priority.

As such, I have made a 360 degree change of attitude towards them. Recently, I have given my trump card to my MIL. I will be moving out of my current flat as I have sold my flat. My MIL have no choice but to ****off. I just want to say that you gals should standup for yourself & your child. Sometime we need to make hard & difficult decision. But ultimately, I think all of us will survive and the decision we made will be towards a better future for ourselves & our child.

Good luck & may the force be with all of you. Hee-Haa :wong4::wong9::wong6:
 
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2011mummy

New Member
guess most of us have problems with mils..
personally i been staying with my in laws since married, abt 2 yrs.
initially everything was fine, even after preggie but things start to change after bb delivered.
my hubby always thought mil can help in my confinement but who knows only till e last min she say she dun know hw to bath a baby, ended up i ask my mum to help..
did not really rest much during my confinement, as got to take care bb my own, pump milk during bb slp and pump finish bb wake up, got to take care of bb again.
even my mum was saying i did not rest enough...

worse till is after bb was delivered, there are so many "customs/myths" that mil wanted us to follow.. just bcos she heard from her friends/whoever say it good for bb then she wanted us to do or my parents side to follow. initially we try to give in abit, and guess what, she messed up/do wrongly e the so call "good things" that she wanted to do fr bb.. super pissed off with all this shit, if dun do we are fine, since SHE inisisted to do and she messed up everything and start to push blame to other ppl. e.g someone called her while she was doing this thing. This is only 1 of e example quoted.. And everytime she do sumthing wrong, she will find excuse to push blame to others.

i was very emotional during my confinment period, partly bcos of nt enough rest plus got to handle with all her nonsense.. very bad temper and i nearly moved back to my own place. am so sick of all this, my fil ask me to stay, to endure.
haha.. fil still ask hubby to tell me, mil menopause ask to bear with her... but she was still having her mense, got menopause meh??

there are many many things that i dun agree with her.. she dun like me.. it very obvious in e family.
just that everyone keep quiet.
i rem not long ago, during one occasion she wanted to take a family photo, ask her daughter & son to join in e pix, daughter was saying ask me along but she say she only want to take with her sons & daughters. so.. daughter in laws are not part of e family right?

i got so many things to complain abt my mil.. only person hearing is my hubby cos he knew his mum style.. there are so many unhappiness staying here and we wanted to move out, will definitely be better for all of us. chinese sayings 相见好同住难..

meanwhile continue to endure..
 
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Asphere

Active Member
you are rite 相见好同住难. For me i am still staying with my own mom coz haven move into my own hse.. keke my confinement i also nv rest much. i take care of my boy most of the time too.. keke but i rather so coz i dun want those old ppl to ask me follow some myths which i think are totally useless and base on nothing!! i guess it seem like the oldies seem to know i am the not easy to tackle person, they back off once my flame is lighted up :) thank god for that and they have stop bothering me since then..
 
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qiqi87

New Member
i staying with my mil i also face the same problem. During my labour while i at hospitial ward waiting for the labour ward i asking my hubby to accompany me to go in the labour ward, my mil keep asking my hubby not to go in because bad luck after my mil go downstair for a walk then i ask my hubby got what bad luck when u do not bad luck go in bad luck what kind of logic is this but in the end he still never go in because i also saw hubby feel angry stuck in the middle and my mil also keep on stick beside him dont let him go in..

My mil also the type of person everytime stick to my baby say i dunno how to take care starting i were give black face to my hubby then after that i just let my mil stick (i tell hubby if mil want then let her dont next time say we dun take care of our own baby) because i after my confinement i start to work everyday,
but now when my kid grow up she just dun wan my kid to stick with her because my mil like baby but when baby grow up she dun want take care anymore kind of weird person.

My hubby want to plan for second baby but we are faceing the same problem mil dont let hubby go in labour ward, until now i dont dare let him plan for second.
Anyone face the same problem mil dun let hubby go in labour ward, can share
 
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ihmdweh

Member
qiqi87 said:
i staying with my mil i also face the same problem. During my labour while i at hospitial ward waiting for the labour ward i asking my hubby to accompany me to go in the labour ward, my mil keep asking my hubby not to go in because bad luck after my mil go downstair for a walk then i ask my hubby got what bad luck when u do not bad luck go in bad luck what kind of logic is this but in the end he still never go in because i also saw hubby feel angry stuck in the middle and my mil also keep on stick beside him dont let him go in..

My mil also the type of person everytime stick to my baby say i dunno how to take care starting i were give black face to my hubby then after that i just let my mil stick (i tell hubby if mil want then let her dont next time say we dun take care of our own baby) because i after my confinement i start to work everyday,
but now when my kid grow up she just dun wan my kid to stick with her because my mil like baby but when baby grow up she dun want take care anymore kind of weird person.

My hubby want to plan for second baby but we are faceing the same problem mil dont let hubby go in labour ward, until now i dont dare let him plan for second.
Anyone face the same problem mil dun let hubby go in labour ward, can share
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Wah i'll be majorly pissed if my hubby doesn't go into the labour ward just because his mother says that its bad luck. He should have sent your MIL home and only bring her when baby is out.. solves all problems...
 
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nutela

Member
my baby was havg stomach flu last sat, wah! really worried one kind coz everytg tat he take in end up he vomit out.... n to make matter wrst, my mil kp repeating that, " oh baby sick coz he goin to be mre clever" wat theory is tat? i really cannot accept it or take it. i even say baq, " it not because of tat, he gt it frm my aunt hse. coz my aunt took care of my baby n her children is sick too.
but even when i told her wat e reason baby fall sick, mil still repeat the same thing. n imagine repeatg it each time, my baby vomit or poo poo out. so repeatg like 4-5 times a day. haiz....
n got one time, hubby was feeding mango to him n baby bite it off as he cm out a small sign of teeth. n mil go , ' oh, he sick coz goin to hv teeth!" i was like "huh, the only sign i noe when u teething is fever, cant b hvg stomach flu!"

n she kp on wanting to carry my baby ard, while he in the walker or juz lying there quietly. to my opinion, if the baby dun cry or ask to b carried, juz leave him quietly there, but she kp on carrying him all ard. I had to say, " dun carry so much, he is sick n can be spread easily" but mil juz ignored. n truely enuf, ytday gt sick, vomit2 n shit2 n mil feel so weak. N i say, " i told u not to b so close2 to baby rite?" n mr hubby too gt infected n i say, " eh, u also goin to be smart is it, so old oready but stil not clever yet?" LOL.....
evil me!
 
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frustrated86

New Member
Hi, just want to fa xie. I have been living with my MIL for past 2 yr +. Initially was ok.. Thing starts to went wrong after giving birth to my son. When i just gave birth, there was a few occasion when i try to BF my son she refused to leave despite i ask her to leave. She would always say nevermind we r both woman & cos she NV BF her own son bf so she wan to see. It is so embrassing.
:( However, i didn't BF my son after few try as he is too used to FM & refused to drink my milk hence i decided to stop. So she start commenting tt is me tt my son immune system is not strong even till now (he is already 27mths old)

She would always listen to advise from friends, relative & even neighbour but not me. There was once my son is having fever. She was very nervous (she never really tk cr of an infant as my Hub was raised my his grandma till he was 3 -4 yrs old ). She imagine alot of thing, inorder to calm her down i would explain to her tt having fever is ok, as this show tt his immune system is working to fight off those bad bacteria. But she never take my words. She would call her sis , ask the neighbour & even those market auntie. OMG. until 1 of my quite educated & experience neighbour told her the same exact thing that i say. Then, she came home with an peace of mind compliment tt neighbour of my very knowledgeable & smart.. WTH..

She was very obessed with my son. She would always carry her when he was an infant. I would tell her to leave him alone if he is not crying or anything. She will ignore & even carry him on her arm while watching tv for the whole night. But when i carry him, she will ask me to put him down & don't made tt an habit for him. .. Argggghhh.... She always "mistakenly" called herself mummy even till now. Sometimes when my son called me she will unintentionally answered. She now made my son called her "Mah Mah"...

She is so stubborn making communication with her almost impossible. She always feel tt i knows nuts. Ya i may not be experience as this is my first child, but i do read up online abt parenting well & some are just common sense. There was a period of time when she bath my 10mths old son, by made him sitting on the close toilet bowl. I found out & told her not to cox is slippery especially during bath, but she ignore & say she wil be careful & comment he has growth up must learn & the baby tub is too small (he can always sit in the tub... watever). One day my son really fall from the toliet bowl, but lucky he was not seriouly injured just some bruises. I didn't scold her out of respect but i was so angry. I cried to my mum to complaint.

She always go around compare my son with my neighbour childrens, saying they attending what school la, what enrichment course la, what dance & singing lesson la....etc so i must bring him go too. I understand her intention but we have to work within our means & not just blindly follow just to showoff. Btw he is just 2 yrs old & furthermore we don't earn tt much, his sch fee already cost us $600 after subsidy & other expenses as well. She was diappointed as we didn't enroll my son to an christian childcare, as she heard fr my neighbour christian sch is very gd. Irritating lo..

Sorry for being so naggy. Sometime i feel very compressed & i need to release. I can't tok to my hub though he is quite neutral, but whenever i told him something he would confront his mum (i dun wan to sound like bad mouthing his mum) furthermore i don't wan to made things difficult for him & me as well, as we all live under 1 roof.
 
raeka

raeka

Member
Can understand all DIL unhappy and super duper pissed with our MIL.

Guess in another few year , my mil is going to stay w me... Argggg super Don't Want But no choice..

Some more I'm a housewife more worse , 24/7 daily seeing her ... OH NOOOOO
 
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frustrated86

New Member
I guess u gt to bear with it no choice no matter wat they r still our MIL... U gt to enjoy ur current life without her as much as u could...i will be moving out soon but my mil has been hinting to stay with us.. I'm praying hard she dun do any stunt.. Haha ...

Anyway my hub he his only child so I guess I gt to live with her again in future no matter wat.. Haiz... But at least I could live my peaceful life before tt.. ;)
 
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hackers13jo

New Member
Hi Mummies,

I have sold my house and successfully kick my MIL out of my own house. Although face some inconvenient now staying with my youngest aunt (house too small) but I am a much happier person then before when my MIL is staying with me.

I have always been a rational person. I always think that a woman must have at least one of the following else you will be very pathetic. 1. Beauty - With this you can earn money or get a rich husband. 2. Good Husband - no money never mind. Must love you n take care of you for life. 3. $$$ - At least you can buy almost everything except love. Well, beauty will fade over time, husband also can run away with others. So my conclusion, most important is must hv $$$.

I already know my MIL will be difficult n we might not be able to live together. So from day one, I did not take a single cent from her, although she offer to pay for renovation. At that time she already fallout with her oldest son n DIL. My hubby is second son n also youngest son. She stay with me for 8 years, I tolerate her. But get from bad to worse as she think she is Queen Bee. We must everything listen to her. After give birth my gal, I change 360 degree becos I so sick of both my mother n my MIL shit. I got super upset so I kick my MIL out. She super thick skin refuse to move out so I sold my house in order to kick her out. No choice hv to kick myself out so that I can kick her out. At that time she still say I stupid sell house with kid want to stay where. Nobody will rent house to us.

But she forget I more clever than her already plan to stay at my aunt place. Now she suffer becos rent room and cannot get along wif landlord. No surprise cos she so difficult. Keep call my hubby n complaint. Say she very sian no freedom. Say every time stay in the room very bored. I told my husband that when she stay with us, she never do any house work, treat space outside her room as common area. Keep staying at her room n refuse to move to common area unless necessary n lock her room to prevent us from going to her room when she is out. Only clean her room n her washroom. The common bathroom is her bathroom. Nobody can use it even guest to our house also cannot use. So from previous experience staying with her, she already mark her territory. So now landlord also mark her territory why she complaint? She should have gotten used to all this segregation stuff wat. Izzit becos she is not the one determining the marking of territory that she is upset?

When she scold me, she curse me. I believe all this cursing is no good. It will come back to the person that curse others. Queen Bee still never wake up her f***ing idea. Now New Year nobody eat with her. Even my hubby also never go n "bai nian" to her. Next time sick, really nobody will go n see her. Maybe till that time then will wake up?

Next time we old already, don't be like them.
 
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felicity

Active Member
hi all...

wow after reading all the stories... i feel my turn will come very soon. like many mummies have mentioned, everything was ok until baby's born...

i've been living with my ILs for 3 years... so far a lot of give and take but no conflicts. however i cannot stand the way they indulge in their other grandchildren whom have been staying with us at some point of time. seriously i see how the kids behave and treat MIL like maid, and MIL willing allow the kids to do ANYTHING they want... turning them into the most atrocious brats i have ever encountered... i feel like jumping out of the window or throwing the kids out of the house. it's that bad. intolerable! if my own kids, and somemore living together... sure a lot of unhappiness as i will hv to tell my MIL what to do and what not to do, and she will prob be thinking "who are you to tell me, i brought up my other grandchildren" big sigh! now preggy only so much worries :( upon giving birth i am going to my parents' place for confinement first... then see how. sigh.

:07:
 
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