CNY ang bao protocols

[Edwinie]

Hello!

This year will be the very first year I'm celebrating CNY as a married woman. Hence I'm clueless to whom I'm suppose to give red packet to and who I shall receive from (if i'm allowed to get any).

Do we give to single friends? Children of relatives who are single? Married relatives?
Do we give to our parents, grandparents?
If my grandma were to give me, should I accept it?

I feel so dumb not knowing.. haha!! hope to get some help from experienced people! =)

 

[MsKoh1973]

for me, even when I am single tat time, I already give parents, grandparents, so I just continue the practise.
for my dad (mum passedaway), usually the amount of give, is either 1 to 2 X of his monthly allownace (like bonus like tat). It all depends whether he "good" behaviour or not for last yr, like got go out to gamble, anyhow spend money etc.

Last time I used to give my grandma about $1k, but my grandma (grandpa passedaway) will usually give me back an ang bao, they will like keep abt $50 to $100 and returned me the rest.

even my brother and sister, cos I noe they have financial difficutly, tho they are married, I used to give (this yr not giving, cos they fought last yr becos of my ang bao, fighting who I cared more to give more, bo liao pp).

as for children, all children tat I see and I will try to give, only differences is the amount:
passerby kids & neighbours kids = $2 (just to have fun and make them happy)
relatives' kids (regardless whether my cousin / ah yee child) = $4
(approved by granma, cos she said, if too young, give too much, they also cannot appreciate, if too old, give too much for what leh? kekekekek).

but for my sister's kids who are staying w me, I will give abt $18 or $28, depend on my mood.

 

[apollo]

Hello!

This year will be the very first year I'm celebrating CNY as a married woman. Hence I'm clueless to whom I'm suppose to give red packet to and who I shall receive from (if i'm allowed to get any).

Do we give to single friends? Children of relatives who are single? Married relatives?
Do we give to our parents, grandparents?
If my grandma were to give me, should I accept it?

I feel so dumb not knowing.. haha!! hope to get some help from experienced people! =)

For me I do the following:

Single friends = nope (as long as is FRIENDS, sry no Angbao! Unless is friends' children)
Children of relatives who are single = Yes
Married relatives = nope
Parents & Grandparents = Yes
My own elder bro, SIL, Bil who are all still single = Yes

If your parents and grandparents give you, of cos you can accept. In fact during my 1st CNY after married, I still receive Angbao from lotsa of my relatives cos over my family sides, they believe that 1st year of CNY after married, we still can collect Angbao, so they give, I just take. Only last year (the 2nd year), we were no longer given Angbao but they gave my ds instead.

As for how much to give, it all depends on you and your hub and also the 'market rate' on both of your families.. =)

 

[mag_huiling]

Friends (Whether married or not) = No ang bao!
Children of friends/ relatives = Yes, but small small amount....
Dad = NO!
Grandparents = YEs!

Actually, as what i heard, first year can no need give ang baos one leh... anyone heard before?

 

[apollo]

Friends (Whether married or not) = No ang bao!
Children of friends/ relatives = Yes, but small small amount....
Dad = NO!
Grandparents = YEs!

Actually, as what i heard, first year can no need give ang baos one leh... anyone heard before?

from what i know, 1st year still NEED to give angbao, just that if ppl gives you, you still can take. correct me if i'm wrong.

 

[PinkDiamonds]

I also heard that 1st year after marriage can don't give, but we still gave.

For the past 2 years we've been giving $8 to children in the family - cousin's children (hubby says make the children happy).

Parents & grandparents yes we give, as this is the practice we have in both our families. They give me also so I take! It's considered their well-wishes to us, their children, even if we're married.

Since I married earlier than most of my older cousins, I also give them, consider a blessing for them to find a life partner & settle down soon. kekeke.

When my sister was not yet married (she married a year after me) I gave her ang bao too, although some people say it's not necessary since I am a junior. My younger cousins & brother I will give a bit more as I'm closer to them.

For friends generally nope cause consider "same rank/level", it's optional. But last year when my closer friends came to my house to visit I did give a small amount.


I think the general rule is, as long as the person is younger than you and single they should be given an ang bao. After all, a red packet is meant as a blessing & well-wish to the younger ones. Therefore amount also should not matter, just give within your means.

 

[Renzie]

I also heard that first year don't need to give ang pow, haha but that year we went on a family trip, so end up giving to hubs younger siblings instead.

Single Friends = nope.
Children of relatives/friends = yes but relatives' will give more than friends' (unless that friend always give darn big ang pow to DD, than better to give back as well)
Parents = nope. haha I should start, but always forget!
Grandparents = Left only dad's mom, so still give.
Relatives= only if they are younger than me for my side and younger than hubs for his side.

The older generation still give ang pow to us though but this year with DD not sure.

 

[clearjade]

This year will also be my first year giving out ang baos For hubby's side, my MIL will tell us how much and who to give. For my side will give to my cousins' children, parents and godfather.

I also heard that 1st year of marriage don't need to give ang bao but my hubby says need to give, his family is more traditional than mine so I just follow.

 

[nesshermes]

oooo... izzit like tat.. i only go by rank. that mean anyone not same rank as me i give even my aunt kid 2 yrs old i nv give.. hahaha am i too much?

 

[stonston]

For me...

Very very close unmarried friends: Yes (& quite big amount)
Unmarried cousins/siblings *be it older or younger than me: Yes
All children in the family and friends' kids: Yes
Elders in the family: Yes

Accept angpows: No (cos the first CNY we celebrate as married couple, my boy was around a month old )

 

[pinkapple]

wah! and I thought nobody will give to unmarried friends. they not paisay to take meh?

we dont' give to unmarried friends.
friends' children yes.

Give to all those one generation or more below me
and all my cousins who are younger than me and of cos my two younger sisters.
until they get married I suppose.

also give my parents.
grandparents all gone liao.
my hubby gave to his late grandma though.

heard of the 1st year no need give but we gave anyway.

 

[jenkinshine]

Woah, I didn't know that so many ppl didn't give angpaos to single friends, I gave them every year...some more they are older than me... I even gave to my unmarried 'gugu' who's in her late 40's. Sometimes I really wonder they paiseh or not to receive from someone junior, cause I definitely am when giving the red packet to them!
After reading this thread I'll just start giving to kids only hehhehe


Btw, we just gave angpaos after the first year of marriage even though we heard some ppl said no need... sigh you'll never know what relatives will say if dont't give

 

[pinkapple]

why should we give to unmarried friends?

they've more spare cash than we married with children.
they should give us!

 

[candy_ian]

We gave ang bao first yr marriage too cos we felt it was a happy occasion for just give loh. We give to our parents n grandparents, Helpers, unmarried siblings, younger cousins, unmarried friends, friend's kids.

 

[shopaholic]

We also gave ang baos in the first year of marriage. However, relatives would still give us ang baos and we would accept. Subsequently, we had our first child, so relatives gave to our kid instead.

My protocol:
Friends who are single : No
Friends' children : Yes
Unmarried cousins : Yes (but many of my colleagues told me they dont give to unmarried cousins as they are of the same "rank" as us. Oh well, I hv been giving so I just continue. But just wondering, if you hv almost 20 cousins and many are still unmarried at age 20-30s, then how? Still give? Do you stop at certain point in time? I honestly dont recall my elderly relatives giving ang baos to their unmarried cousins aged 50s leh!)
Children of relatives who are single : Yes
Parents : Yes. In fact, already give them a lump sum when we get our bonus but will still give ang baos during CNY as a form of well wishes, just that quantum in ang baos will not be as big.
Grandparents : No. If my paternal grandma is still around, I will as I am very close to her. But for my maternal grandma whom I am not close to and hv never taken care of me, I dont.

 

[Edwinie]

I see. I thought the rules of ang baos are standard. Didn't know it's so flexible and everyone do different things. We received an ang bao from 1 of my hubby's married soccermates. So I'm wondering whether we should do the same and give to friends. Money is tight on our side... I think I shall discuss with him.

I also heard that first year don't have to give. But during my baby's full month, my uncle reminded me to give ang bao the coming cny.

 

[raeka]

I give during my first yr.
Single friends nope

Friends child must
Cousin child must too

Parents mil grandparents all YESV

SIS child will be more!

Strandard for me is difficult sir name is all $4/-
Same one is $6/- hubby's side too !

 

[keefu]

Me also first time going to give ang pows but already know who to give...

My own grandparent (my grandparent and parent in law think my hubby will give them himself)
My brother in law and his gf (my BIL is younger than me)
My cousins and cousins in law who are younger than me
My cousin's kids
My friends's kids
My single friends (will give them cheaper ang pow compared to own family)

And actually I realised I also got not much ang pows to give also... Cos I consider young in my family.

 

[keefu]

I see. I thought the rules of ang baos are standard. Didn't know it's so flexible and everyone do different things. We received an ang bao from 1 of my hubby's married soccermates. So I'm wondering whether we should do the same and give to friends. Money is tight on our side... I think I shall discuss with him.

I also heard that first year don't have to give. But during my baby's full month, my uncle reminded me to give ang bao the coming cny.

I think it's still better to give ang pows during cny regardless first year a not... Considering the fact that we have been receiving it from others since young, and also this time, your baby are getting the ang pows too.

For your friend's issue, if you want, you can choose only give to good and close friends when you meet up with them during that festive period. And your hubby's soccermate, you can give him back an angpow as an appreciation gesture.

 

[stonston]

I give my unmarried friends because from young, they've always looked to me as 'big sister'. Even till know, they still call me 'jie'.
& our friendship is more like siblings
We sleep over at each other houses very often (and we still do now).

Also, their parents will give my son AP (and quite large amount).

Imagine, my boy only celebrate 3 CNYs so far and he has accumulated 10k from his APs (this is CNY only - birthdays and our own savings for him is in separate account).