Curious..

[venia_plena]

Hi Adelynn,

Nice to hear from you.. perhaps you are right.. maybe it is also boils down to my own personality.. i wont say that i am an introvert but i dun warm up to people very soon.. moreover perhaps i dun really have the sense of humour to tickle people funny bone.. an also maybe because i have to work for long hours and after work i have to take care of my mum before my baby arrival. so most of my time were dedicated to my work and also to my family.. as a result i did not really put in the effort in sustaining the friendship..

this is alos one of the reason why i want to get to know more mummies and we can go out and plan activities together or go holiday together... my pregnancy i wont say i m a happy mum due to some unhappy issues but glad that it is over and now i am tasting the sweetness of my hard work which is my baby raeanne.

guess that enough of myself.. would sincerly like to know u as a friend and when is yr baby due? Boy or girl?

i think i'm quite lucky (to a certain extent) i have friends who both 'disappeared' during and after my pregnancy and friends who 'stuck' by and made a special effort to 'keep me included' during my pregnancy.

My office gang have regular drinking and dinner sessions to un-wind after a stressful period or event and during my pregnancy i was dragged along despite me automatically excluding myself due to the big tummy. They even had 'non-alcoholic night' so that i won't be left out. (and if you are wondering, some of them are non-locals; which may explain the difference?)

but of course i need to play my part in putting in effort to participate and politely excuse myself if i feel i'm not up to it.

I guess its the personality of the friends around you and how they view you/the pregnancy.

 

[adelynn]

Hi Adelynn,

Nice to hear from you.. perhaps you are right.. maybe it is also boils down to my own personality.. i wont say that i am an introvert but i dont warm up to people very soon.. moreover perhaps i dont really have the sense of humour to tickle people funny bone.. an also maybe because i have to work for long hours and after work i have to take care of my mum before my baby arrival. so most of my time were dedicated to my work and also to my family.. as a result i did not really put in the effort in sustaining the friendship..

this is alos one of the reason why i want to get to know more mummies and we can go out and plan activities together or go holiday together... my pregnancy i wont say i m a happy mum due to some unhappy issues but glad that it is over and now i am tasting the sweetness of my hard work which is my baby raeanne.

guess that enough of myself.. would sincerly like to know you as a friend and when is yr baby due? Boy or girl?

Hey venia_plena

i believe your friends will understand and not blame u if u dun have time for them. the most important thing is the well being of your baby and yourself. live and let live, that's my belief in life so that i can be happy - if i can't change the things then why be unhappy over it? accept it and move on. that's how i see things in life.

i've had my girl, she's 2 1/2 months now. When's your girl due?

 

[venia_plena]

:embarrassed: Same here. I used to be out everyday on kopi sessions with my many different groups of friends. However, once I became pregnant, i got excluded out of many activities and they stopped asking me out. Reason being that they dont't want to take responsibility if anything happens to me.

To me, that is just excuses! Anyway, it's alright.. Cause from these incidents, we can most probably see who is our real friends and who are not? Cause those friends who really missed me took their time and the trouble to come by my house for kopis. Unlike those who only knows how to make excuses. Lol.

hello..hello..

Congrat Congrats )..

yeah u are right..if really besties they would have more empathy cause one day they gonna be mummies themselves and we gonna help each other out..the girl Power unite ahaha:red:

 

[Amulet]

:embarrassed: Same here. I used to be out everyday on kopi sessions with my many different groups of friends. However, once I became pregnant, i got excluded out of many activities and they stopped asking me out. Reason being that they dont't want to take responsibility if anything happens to me.

To me, that is just excuses! Anyway, it's alright.. Cause from these incidents, we can most probably see who is our real friends and who are not? Cause those friends who really missed me took their time and the trouble to come by my house for kopis. Unlike those who only knows how to make excuses. Lol.

agree!

personally, i have only less than handful of friends to begin with.. im not introvert, but i chose to be close to only those whom i can really click with..

and none of them have left me.. instead, they always ask me to bring baby out to meet them.. they adores her.. but we only meet once in a blue mood as we always do before i got kid.. that's how it is.. most of the time i goes out gaigai alone with baby coz i can control the time..

if u are lonely, why not make more mummy friends instead?

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

but somhow, i felt that tihs mostly happened to women, for the men, they still continue with their usual drinking sessions, soccer sessions etc. Whereas, u'll often see the women fretting more over the bb and spending lesser time with friends or even herself.

Quite sad huh...

 

[little_rabbit]

me too... lesser friends now after having baby...

 

[SH74]

i feel dat it depends on u n d group of ur existing frens. but generally, it'll b affected. unless u n ur group of frens make it a pt to keep in touch regularly. and if they also hv kids alr, or love kids or r ur kid's godparents or something, den easier to still stay in touch.

 

[January84]

Hi all,

is it true that when a woman had become a mummy.. the social circle of friends seems to get smaller and smaller? I really wonder cause this is what happening to me.. it like really scary... my bundle of joy came to me 4 months ago.. then i realized that my world seems to change.. everything is about my baby.. and i used to have ' kopi' session with friends but not anymore cause i got to rush back to look after my baby.. bringing her out is one alternative.. but every time when i bring her out for the whole day.. the babysitter had a hard time looking after her the next time.. she will cry non-stop and i know this an be irritating..

when i try to tell my friends about it.. they dont seem to understand..in fact i had lost a close friend because of my baby.. sob..sob...

what should i do?

That is the reason why MummySG forum is "born"! we make friends of the same level here, we can understand each other cos we are all mothers!
Arranging kopi sessions and chat about same things!

You lost" friend will understand it next time when she have a child, by then, you will guide her with your your experience liao. heha

 

[whitecat]

Good true frens will understand well of this new stage in a women's world.
Nothing can be exactly the same. Priority change as the journey past....

 

[doreen_1148]

each to its own.

 

[aisakuraharuka]

Just as your lifestyle is changing, friends need to adjust to your changing needs too.
If they are good friends, I think they will accomodate. Of course, it's not just about motherhood, but work takes time too..
Nowadays instead of meeting friends outside, I prefer them to come over our place to hang out... and most are ok with that