Divorcee looking for people to chat with ;)

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Kaykay2009

Member
Hi hi xiaodaisy,

Wow! 3 kids! Amazing! You must have a lot of energy.

I only have a 3 year old gala bd i feel so tired mostly. So are u sahm? I do work, I'm in sales and hubby is my boss.so I basically do the same thing as him except that I have loads of housework to do at the same time. I suspect he thinks it all mine to do because he wanted us to get part time help ( I refuse to have a full time helper) but I couldn't find one that was recommended and I didn't want to just use anybody. I'm the type that if I get you to help me and u don't do it the way I do, then I might as well do it ,myself...so yeah, in his eyes, its probably like I asked for it, lol!
 
Jojoai

Jojoai

Member
@kaykay my hubby also like that but currently now still preggy so okay. I'll just accompany him to play games sometimes after I do finish my household work. If they don't want to do something so why not us. Even I don't like th game a lot but just to accompany him I sacrifice my hobbies. And you know what he still will smoke beside me and is very annoying. I used to smoke but after preggy quit alrdy now he smokes just beside me. Really drives me thru th roofs. But I just keep quiet. I don't want extra argument or what so when he smokes I just find an excuse out. :) I'm living at pasir ris too. Having a baby boy EDD 23 October. Living opposite Loyang point. :) and because of my hubby I totally pushed all my friends away. And getting heavier so lazy to go out too. Other than school friends I don't socialise much as hubby also still in army I just stay at home and everyday clean and clean and clean the house.
 
K

Kaykay2009

Member
Hi Jojoai,

I used to entertain my hubby and play games with him but we always end up arguing cos he is so serious and competitive. Haha! For me I play to relax it he end up stressing me.

Wow! Then we live quite near each other. I shifted to Jalan loyang besar last dec, kind of diagonally across from you.
I think most mummies/ wives are like that . Willingly sacrifice social life esp after a baby along.
my hubby sometimes will comment that I like no friends like that. So irritating! I also find my life so sad but then how?

I see some of my friends , still hanging out drinking etc,the kid throw to the maid but I don't like that so nO choice lo.

I'm also a smoker but stopped after I found out abt my pregnancy. I think cos you used to smoke that's why hubby didn't realised shouldn't be smoking around you. Just tell him lo, that it's bad for your baby

Jojoai said:
@kaykay my hubby also like that but currently now still preggy so okay. I'll just accompany him to play games sometimes after I do finish my household work. If they don't want to do something so why not us. Even I don't like th game a lot but just to accompany him I sacrifice my hobbies. And you know what he still will smoke beside me and is very annoying. I used to smoke but after preggy quit alrdy now he smokes just beside me. Really drives me thru th roofs. But I just keep quiet. I don't want extra argument or what so when he smokes I just find an excuse out. :) I'm living at pasir ris too. Having a baby boy EDD 23 October. Living opposite Loyang point. :) and because of my hubby I totally pushed all my friends away. And getting heavier so lazy to go out too. Other than school friends I don't socialise much as hubby also still in army I just stay at home and everyday clean and clean and clean the house.
Click to expand...
 
C

Chye Ling

New Member
Hi all,

I'm also a divorcee with 2 kids, 8 and 12 yrs old.. Have been divorced for abt 2yrs.. Feeling lonely and helpless at times too.. Mind is I join in your chats?
 
G

gerr

New Member
Hi Chye Ling!

Hope you and kids are doing well. Yea... Talk about feeling lonely. It sure feels like that. But must admit I like the freedom quite a bit too. Always trying to look on the bright side of things. Makes life easier ;)
hope your day has been great!
 
Jojoai

Jojoai

Member
Kaykay2009 yeah. My hubby too. One wrong move when the game lost he will be so angry. So I'll just give in to 'Siam' any quarrel. :) yeah. I don't think I can do that too. Will be too attached to the child and can't really trust an outsider to take care of your child.
My hubby don't realise I've no one to talk to. Because everything he tells his sister. And I'm always lost. So I always have to pretend I know everything. -,- all my xin shi I also keep to myself. My mother in law told me I could talk to her. But after all my hubby is her son so she will still side him ! So frustrated sometime. And I feel his computer is more impt than me and baby. ): he don't even touch my tummy or talk to baby or anything. ): and sometimes I think he really forget that I am preggy. ): ask me to do this and that and he just sit in front of the computer. ): that's why people say a mother is a mother when they're preggy but a father is a father only when they see the child. after thinking of all this I always cry but when he ask me why I cried I said is just th pregnancy hormones. And told him I cried for no reason. And sometimes he gets really angry when he sees me in tears. So I feel very pathetic and helpless at times. But I told myself I chose him so I have to go thru it and endure. But I always think what if one day I can't take it and just leave him isn't that more selfish ? ): feel very sad. So just sharing. Sorry for such a longgggg story. ):
 
T

Triple

Alpha Male
To all the lonely and helpless ppl out there who feels frustrated, bitter and lost. Perhaps it’s time to think out of the box.

U are responsible for your own happiness. Do not rely on others (such as your spouse) to bring u happiness. You were once independent. Marriage or motherhood did not turn u into a zombie. U did. No one spouse can meet 100% of your needs. If your spouse cannot meet your expectations, then seek it elsewhere, rather than dwell on the shortcomings.

Seek your own happiness. By remaining frustrated and bitter, that will only make u lesser princess. Humans are attracted by confidence and happiness, not bitterness. Therefore, make an effort to keep yourself relevant to society. Put in effort to be a princess that others will desire.

Some may say that abandoning the marriage is being selfish. I ask you which is worse, being frustrated for life trying to keep a marriage that no one treasures anymore, or taking a chance to start afresh. It is clear that many ppl were not prepared for married life in, and it’s perfectly normal to take steps to correct a wrong. Whatever your choice may be, be responsible for your own happiness and to your dependents.

Stay relevant to society. Don’t be an auntie or an uncle. Many ppl think it is ok to nua after graduating into marriage/motherhood. If society has moved on to Whatsapp, whether u like it or not, u have to stay relevant. Such a mindset will keep u busy and occupied, and it’s the secret to living that enriching and fulfilling life.

Appreciate, Appreciate, Appreciate. Don’t just focus on negatives or shortcomings. Life is really too short. Go forth and celebrate!
 
G

gerr

New Member
Woah! Deep... But ultimately true, Triple! Thanks for such insight on a nice Sunday morning ;)

Yes, we are responsible for our own happiness so let's make the best of whatever choices we may make.
 
B

belwishupon

Member
Hi everyone,
Interested to chat with u all.. I used to be a divorcee but remarried 5 yrs ago. I hv a 4yrs son that time. Anyway I met my current hubby and married with a 3yrs old son again.
Yes, it's not easy even I remarried to my husband that time. I got called names and mock and scream by sil before our customary that time. It's terrible. But who cares, I m still happily married now. His family don't really like me , luckily our house is here! God bless me half only cause this punggol area , childcares are so full.. Weekdays I still goes bk to stay with in law at the east too cause my son schooling thr.
So ladies, I mean we should still look for happiness if the chance and right man pop by.
 
G

gerr

New Member
Hi;) lucky you to find another man...the stigma of being a divorcee is still there no matter what people say. I met someone but we eventually broke up coz he said his mum would never accept me (he was prob looking for a way out of the relationship too). But ya, if you are lucky to find the right man, go for it!

I can only imagine that being married isn't easy no matter how many times you have a go at it!
 
C

Chye Ling

New Member
Hi Triple,
What u said is very true.. We, as women.. We r too devoted to our family, we sacrifies for the family, which turn us into zombies... But at this stage, it's too difficult to find back our old happy selves..
 
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Jojoai

Jojoai

Member
Find a guy worth your everything. And don't let one guy get away with you everything. It's difficult but I guess we must preserver. :)
 
M

mummy85

Member
hi hi

Hi all...

Wanna make some frens tooo... havent been to tis forum for quite sometimes.. may i join in the convo?
 
M

mummy85

Member
Hi chye ling,

Well yeah i do face probs too.. financial probs.. am working but its not enough to meet ends meet sometimes..
 
C

Chye Ling

New Member
Hi mummy85,

Like u, I'm supporting the family by myself.. Pay also not enough to survive every month.. I have trying to find some home based job to do during my free time at home, but in vain.. But not to despair, so long as we are strong, we will survive!!
 
Vonn55

Vonn55

New Member
Hi all strong mummies:)
You're not alone facing all these family matters!
It's good that we can be open to chat around with others, at least can ease a little:)

Well, 6yrs back I was separated with my ex and divorced a yr later, have a 7yr old girl but custody is not with me due to none of my family willing to help me take care of my girl as I've to work (long story)...
Really missed my girl so much as she was only 6mths old during that period..
Moved back to my mum's place @ Eunos,
But luckily every weekend my girl will stay at my place when it's my off day.. Those days were very sad/stress/tiring, really not easy!

And now I'm currently re-married, temporary stay at Toa Payoh and have a 5mths old son, and my girl still comes over to my plc as usual, quite happy that my hubby really dote on my girl alot & they're very close with each other..
But you know.. no matter what, every household definitely will face many problems.

I'm not working now, have to stay at home look after my son.. But planning to look for a 5days job real soon as our bto flat @ Seng Kang is on the way, really facing big financial problems & always quarrel with my hubby over who's gonna look after our son, mthly expenses bla bla bla etc... So tiring...
 
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