Dumb father asking advice on 20mths baby's recommended diet

[ruffruff]

Hi all,

There were some problems between me and wife, so maybe going on the path as a single daddy now and thus my baby girl (coming to 20mths) will be staying with me for a long time.

Can I kindly ask for some advice on what should be the best/recommended food for my baby girl now?

Currently:
Morning wakes up: 180ml of milk.
between lunch, some snacks, bread etc. but she doesn't eat alot.

Lunch: rice, porriage, noodles. depending on what my family is eating.
after lunch, approx 1-2hrs later, before her noon nap, 180ml of milk

after nap, some snacks, finger food, but she doesn't eat alot either.

Dinner: rice, porriage, noodles. depending on what my family is eating as well.

before bed, 9.30pm, 180ml of milk.

I felt that this isn't right and she isn't eating alot during lunch, dinner. All these used to be prepare by my wife and I find that she used to eat a lot for lunch and dinner. But ever since we are separated and my baby girl came to stayed with me, she isn't eating a lot. I am getting very worried.

Please help/advice on what can I give her daily so that her intake is sufficient for her age.

Thank you!

 

[Jane Chow]

Hi...I have a daughter who is coming to 18 mths...her diet is similar to your daughter ...My daughter sometimes also hv problem with finishing her porridge but after a few days she will be ok again...my MIL said its normal cos even for adults..we sometimes do not have good appetite for a few days..we dun worry too much as long as she finish her milk...so u may consider to increase her milk if she did not finish her porridge...but her problem may also result from separation from her mummy and may need some time to adjust to the changes...spend more time with her may help her to overcome this transition period..Good Luck!!

 

[Ting]

hi, sorry to hear about you and your wife.
wont be easy being a single parent but be strong yeah?

hmmm,when u mention your girl doesnt eat alot what do u mean? as in meaning, she only eat maybe half of her lunch/dinner compared to the past where she finishes the whole portion?
1)if u r meant she doesnt eat much during her meals, is it bcos she snacked too much?
some kids dont finish their meals cos they prefer their snacks.
try not to give her snacks btw lunch. if u wan, give her light snacks n not heavy snacks, like bread. maybe try fruits (apple slices) or yoghurt or baby rice crackers.

2)what was she eating b4? as in what does her mummy cook? as u mention, your child is eating what your family (i assume is your mum doing the cooking) eats, meaning she is eating adult food.does your wife used to cook "baby" food for her? thus she might find adult food taste too strong, or too diff from what she used to eat. if possible, cook baby food for her. also, the portion u give her? maybe u give her too big of a portion n actually she eats the norm but u feel tt it is too little cos she cant finish?

3)perhaps she is having seperation anxiety, thus not much appetite. i assume your wife
was her main caregiver b4 u got seperated, so maybe she misses mummy.
sorry, but how long hv u been seperated? n does she still come to visit your girl?
most babies r more attached to their mummies. do spend more time with your girl n give her more time to adapt.

meanwhile, if u r worry abt the nutrients n all, give her more milk feeds if she doesnt eat much food. dun hv to be a full 180 ml each time. can give her 60/120 ml.
snacks can give her cheese and yoghurt, they r high in calcium.


btw, check your girls height n weight to check her percentile. if she is in 50% range, it shld be fine as long as she is, eating, playing(being active) n slping well.

HTH.

 

[diymummy]

Looks like your girl is missing mummy... That's what I feel when I read your post lahh..

For the sake of your girl would you consider marriage counselling?

 

[ruffruff]

hi, sorry to hear about you and your wife.
wont be easy being a single parent but be strong yeah?

hmmm,when you mention your girl doesnt eat alot what do you mean? as in meaning, she only eat maybe half of her lunch/dinner compared to the past where she finishes the whole portion?
1)if you are meant she doesnt eat much during her meals, is it bcos she snacked too much?
some kids dont finish their meals cos they prefer their snacks.
try not to give her snacks btw lunch. if you want, give her light snacks and not heavy snacks, like bread. maybe try fruits (apple slices) or yoghurt or baby rice crackers.

2)what was she eating before? as in what does her mummy cook? as you mention, your child is eating what your family (i assume is your mum doing the cooking) eats, meaning she is eating adult food.does your wife used to cook "baby" food for her? thus she might find adult food taste too strong, or too diff from what she used to eat. if possible, cook baby food for her. also, the portion you give her? maybe you give her too big of a portion and actually she eats the norm but you feel that it is too little cos she cant finish?

3)perhaps she is having seperation anxiety, thus not much appetite. i assume your wife
was her main caregiver before you got seperated, so maybe she misses mummy.
sorry, but how long have you been seperated? and does she still come to visit your girl?
most babies are more attached to their mummies. do spend more time with your girl and give her more time to adapt.

meanwhile, if you are worry about the nutrients and all, give her more milk feeds if she doesnt eat much food. dont have to be a full 180 ml each time. can give her 60/120 ml.
snacks can give her cheese and yoghurt, they are high in calcium.


btw, check your girls height and weight to check her percentile. if she is in 50% range, it shld be fine as long as she is, eating, playing(being active) and sleeping well.

HTH.

Hi Ting,

Yes, in the past, she would eat 1 full portion but now only 1/2 the portion.
And no, in the past, my wife is not the main caregiver but all the meals were cooked by her or her mother. They didn't cook special baby food either and our baby girl would eat what we eat. Usually, half bowl of rice + veggie + eggs + tomatoes, etc.

But now she isn't eating that much since she came to stay with me and by the way, my baby is much closer to me than to her mother. we have been separated for 2 months now. She does drop by when she is free to take a look at the child.

Recently, my baby caught a flu and sore throat, i guess that also contributes to her poor appetite. I think i will take your advice and feed her more milk during the day when she isn't keen in eating solid food.

And with regards to the percentile, where do i get the figures to check against?

Thanks!

 

[diymummy]

You can get the percentile from the Health Booklet.

 

[ruffruff]

Looks like your girl is missing mummy... That's what I feel when I read your post lahh..

For the sake of your girl would you consider marriage counselling?

My wife is firm on the divorce. There is nothing I can do about it ... Anyway, i have given up as well since all my effort, love, tolerance to her these years have gone in vain...

 

[diymummy]

Sorry to hear that ruffruff....

Have your daughter been to the doctor yet for her flu and sorethroat? Maybe for this season you can feed her more watery things like soup or porridge to ease her swallowing if her sorethroat is painful and making her not fond of eating.

 

[stonston]

1. Dun think you are dumb. If you are, you wouldn't hv found this forum.

2. Since you are going to be looking after your girl on your own, you might be interested to start doing some reading up. Get books on nutrition/feeding, single parenting, parenthood for men, etc. Library has alot of books to help you

3. Though your girl is still a toddler, she understand what's going on around her & with a change in environment, she'll need more assurance. Talk to her & tell her how much you love her.

4. Every family cooks differently, even with the same ingredients. Give her some time to adjust.

5. Since she's recovering from illness, give her more watery foods that are easy to swallow. You can try using vegetables to make a soup base to cook the porridge to make it more tasty.

 

[ruffruff]

Sorry to hear that ruffruff....

Have your daughter been to the doctor yet for her flu and sorethroat? Maybe for this season you can feed her more watery things like soup or porridge to ease her swallowing if her sorethroat is painful and making her not fond of eating.

yup. i've brought her to see a pedicitrician yesterday. I was wondering if those Heinz cereal or fruit paste would be good for her. She hasn't been drinking alot either. I have to forcefully pump water to her every 1-2 hours just to make sure she has enough liquid intake ... sadens me alot to see her in pain ...

 

[Ting]

hi ruffruff, i think it might be due to her flu/cough thus lost in appetite.
for her age, she knows whats gg on arnd, n perhaps it also affected her mood.
she used to see mummy everyday n now only when mummy drops by.

u can try giving her juices or unchilled ribena (those in packet form) to encourage her to drink.
can make barley drink for her too.
if she doesnt like normal FM, i think can give her those packet milk (comes in choco flavour if u dun mind letting her try)
for heinz rice cereal/jar food, i nvr really let pin try, but maybe u can buy some to let her try, they also hv juices.
snacks wise can give her cereals like honeystars, cornflakes, fruitty pebbles. kids love them cos they r crunchy n easy to eat. or u can add her FM to eat so it will not be too dry n she will be takin in fluids as well.

 

[diymummy]

yup. i've brought her to see a pedicitrician yesterday. I was wondering if those Heinz cereal or fruit paste would be good for her. She hasn't been drinking alot either. I have to forcefully pump water to her every 1-2 hours just to make sure she has enough liquid intake ... sadens me alot to see her in pain ...

Do you mean those in bottles for Heinz fruit paste? Maybe it'd be better if you can cut some fruits for her, it's fresher.... Fruits can hydrate her at the same time as providing nutrients.

Don't worry, kids should recover quite quickly. Just give her lots of TLC during this period as she's adjusting to a few things.

 

[ruffruff]

Do you mean those in bottles for Heinz fruit paste? Maybe it'd be better if you can cut some fruits for her, it's fresher.... Fruits can hydrate her at the same time as providing nutrients.

dont't worry, kids should recover quite quickly. Just give her lots of TLC during this period as she's adjusting to a few things.

her fever went up to 40deg last nite 2am. today still ok but refuses to eat anything. just now at around 4pm, her fever starts again ... I have been giving her only milk today. she didn't take any other food...

why can't i be sick instead of her ...

 

[CanCanMum]

hi ruffruff,

how many days has yr DD been experiencing loss of appetite?

from wad i have read, it shd be linked to her flu and fever tats why.

40degs is very high fever, in fact u shd consult KKH if the fever continues to be so high.

 

[ruffruff]

hi ruffruff,

how many days has your dear daughter been experiencing loss of appetite?

from what i have read, it should be linked to her flu and fever tats why.

40degs is very high fever, in fact you should consult Kandang Kerbau Hospital if the fever continues to be so high.

she has been having on/off appetite issues since she came staying with me last wednesday. but things sort of got worse since monday when her flu started. yesterday, her fever was quite high and I brought her to the Family Clinic (tiong bahru). After that, I have been giving her medication on the dot and her fever didn't came back until last night 2am plus when I felt that she is really hot/warm on her palm, feet and forehead. I fed her medicine again last night plus the anal insertion medication. This morning when she woke up, she is much better. no more feverish but still running nose. until 4pm plus today, her fever came back (between 38-40) and I have to give her the fever medicine again. now she is asleep but i fear that her fever will come back again tonight ...

damn low morale now ... divorce + kid not feeling well + has to take leave oftenly for my newly started job ...

 

[Feliz]

Don be sad.. Cheer up.. ur baby needs u e most now.. =) Take cre!..

 

[CanCanMum]

dun dink too much at this moment....its juz a passing phase....

i noticed the fever gets worst during night time, middle of the night especially~sometimes i will feed baber medicine in the middle of the night, although it exceeds the 4 times per day guideline, i still feed if its way too high....

is the fever patch useful? I find tat very useful for night time, if not sure not enuff sleep~coz if without tat cooling gel patch, gotta wake up every 2-3 hours to check on their temperature.....

 

[ruffruff]

dont think too much at this moment....its just a passing phase....

i noticed the fever gets worst during night time, middle of the night especially~sometimes i will feed baber medicine in the middle of the night, although it exceeds the 4 times per day guideline, i still feed if its way too high....

is the fever patch useful? I find that very useful for night time, if not sure not enuff sleep~coz if without that cooling gel patch, gotta wake up every 2-3 hours to check on their temperature.....

thanks for your advice.
My baby temperature went up again just now. I had no choice but to feed her fever medicine and anal insertion medication.

seriously, i am going bonkers now ... i am blaming myself for this to happen and i seriously doubt that i can be a good father .. i am losing faith in myself and i felt so helpless now ... if only ... i would continue to giving in to her and stay quiet in a fight and maybe my child don't have to go through all these and she will still have a loving mother with her .. aarghhh ... seriously going thru a mental breakdown now ....

 

[diymummy]

Hi ruffruff,

I know it's tough being on your own and tending to a sick child. Don't blame yourself. I think you're doing a great job and doing the best you can. Like what CanCanMum says, it's a passing phase. Your dd will get better.

Continue the medication. When my baby had flu, he took abt a week before his appetite came back.

For the moment do you have other people who can help you? Maybe your mum?

 

[Ting]

dun be too hard on yourself. im sure u didnt want this to happen either.
but since it alr happened, u can only move forward and be strong for your little one.
no one ever said being a parent was easy. in fact, its the toughest n most time n energy consuming one. but the returns & satisfaction we get is also the most.

seek help if u need to. from your parents, from your (ex)wife. she is also her child, she should help out too regardless whether u n her r still tgt or not. (JMHO)


40 deg is VERY high fever for even an adult, not to mention such a young child. u shld not wait any longer n bring her to a PD or KK to take a jab to bring the fever down. cos its very dangerous, might lead to polio (i think) or brain damage. no joke abt this.
good luck, n hope your daughter gets well soon.