EDD Mar 2014

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LH779

Member
anyone tot of going through confinement period alone?

I don't really mean alone alone, more of not having someone 24 hours staying with you (e.g. Confinement lady, MIL or Mother etc).
I really cannot stand having stranger in my home, so confinement lady is out. then probably I also don't really need my MIL or Mum to be with me the whole day. As you never know, sometime if you spend too long a time with your MIL or mum, may end up hurting the relationship (if you know what I mean).

So my plan is to order confinement food and also where possible breastfeed (saving the hassle to wash bottles etc..)
Things to do for BB will be feeding, bathing, soothing, changing diapers, playing (which I believe as a mum you will definitely wan to do it)

Other things that will need to do
- feed myself (can settle by ordering food), hubby can dabao food home for himself or go MIL place once in a while to eat.
- laundry (I can throw into the washing machine, when hubby come back, help me hang)
- Basic cleaning the house like mopping floor etc (hubby or myself can do in the evening when he's home from work)

then occasionally if mum or MIL wanna drop by they can help me bath BB or hang laundry etc..

From the above, i truely felt that I should be able to cope the 4-5 weeks without someone living in with us to help out. Are there any major concerns that I left out? I'll be glad for any advice.
 
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Layla0401

Member
You might want to think about a back-up plan like hiring a part-time helper to come in daily to do the housework and laundry, say 3h a day or every other day. My friend who recently gave birth said that her baby is forever latching on to her for milk and comfort, she once went from 6:30pm to 10pm just with baby at her breast and could only have dinner at 10pm. At the very least, the PT helper will give you some peace of mind and won't encroach on your personal space too much. I'm going to start searching for a legal part-time maid to help me with this, not really sure where to start though.
 
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jadeite

Member
ya the Mt A tour lady said a lot of husbands like to secretly sneak around the area hahaha like refugees at night...

LH - My mother will only be at my place during the day... and my hubs has taken leave too so he can stay home with me. I think might be difficult sometimes to deal with baby alone... I'm not worried about r/s with my mom but of course no way do I want my MIL to stay in my house... never even asked her to help so it will only be my mother. not that my MIL and I are on bad terms but you are right, just cannot spend too much time together plus I have v strong opinions and don't want to clash unnecessarily.

probably you should ask someone who has had one baby before... just that my friends also wanted to DIY and do confinement alone, and halfway thru their mother insisted on paying for a confinement lady for them. after that they said they don't know how they managed to cope without her cuz it was so much easier, so they kept asking me to get one... but I also don't like strangers in my house. so will stick with my mom. For me, no need nights because I will be the only one who can feed with bm so bopian I will be the one who has to wake up. what for my mother or a stranger stay around at night then?

also cuz you will be tired and recovering from your wounds, whether natural or cs, so it's good if sometimes you really just need a break from taking care of baby, at least someone can hold the fort for you while you rest a bit. better than you get postnatal depression....
 
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yellow0075

Member
LH779, i'm with you on this. i'm not engaging confinement nanny even though this is baby #1.

My parents have offered to cook for me everyday, not confinement food though. just nutritious food that i like to eat. MIL coming over few times per week to help out with handling baby. I will be engaging part-time helper to come twice a week to help to clean the house.

like you i really dont like the idea of having another stranger in the house. and being with parents 24/7 will drive me up the wall. seeing them daily is one thing, living with them is another...

its definitely gonna be a tough time. alot of mums have already told me the first month is the hardest and with insufficient help the mum will feel trapped. so i suggest you may want to invite your parents over more often, but not necessarily stay with them?

plus i have 2 kitties to look after too! i hope they behave with baby comes!
 
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jadeite

Member
yellow I have a kitty too!! and she's not very sociable - she will hide when people come over to visit. she's super scared of other people but she's very affectionate with me and hubs. so I'm kinda worried how to get kitty used to the baby... sigh.
 
Taboo

Taboo

Member
This time round i will not be engaging CL. My aunty is here to help me. She will be cooking, bathing BB and helping in the household chorus. She will be helping for abt 2 or 3 weeks. For the last week hubby will be taking paternity leaves to cover... :)
 
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LH779

Member
it's an idea on the PT cleaner, but my hubby tends to like to clean the place himself. so we shall see how we cope.

yellow - yeah will definitely invite my parents or my PIL over, if they wan to come over daily to see BB and help me with the chores i'm more then happy, just that I don't want to specifically say either my mum or MIL will help me during my confinement. it sort of became obligatory for them. They should be entitled to their own lifestyle mah.

Jade - my friend went through her 1st confinement alone also, and she say it's not too bad. just that sometime it can be a bit tiring, but not to the extend of not being able to cope. she could pull though largely because her hubby help a lot to make her daily routine with BB easier.
 
R

rachie82

Member
LH779 said:
anyone tot of going through confinement period alone?

I don't really mean alone alone, more of not having someone 24 hours staying with you (e.g. Confinement lady, MIL or Mother etc).
I really cannot stand having stranger in my home, so confinement lady is out. then probably I also don't really need my MIL or Mum to be with me the whole day. As you never know, sometime if you spend too long a time with your MIL or mum, may end up hurting the relationship (if you know what I mean).

So my plan is to order confinement food and also where possible breastfeed (saving the hassle to wash bottles etc..)
Things to do for BB will be feeding, bathing, soothing, changing diapers, playing (which I believe as a mum you will definitely wan to do it)

Other things that will need to do
- feed myself (can settle by ordering food), hubby can dabao food home for himself or go MIL place once in a while to eat.
- laundry (I can throw into the washing machine, when hubby come back, help me hang)
- Basic cleaning the house like mopping floor etc (hubby or myself can do in the evening when he's home from work)

then occasionally if mum or MIL wanna drop by they can help me bath BB or hang laundry etc..

From the above, i truely felt that I should be able to cope the 4-5 weeks without someone living in with us to help out. Are there any major concerns that I left out? I'll be glad for any advice.
Click to expand...


Tats wat i gonna do also, me nt engaging CL, mummy will help out in the day while hubby will help out after he off work. As for food wise i will be ordering confinement food from tmc.
 
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jadeite

Member
yay seems like a lot of us will be doing without confinement ladies... haha, not good business for those who are trying to get business by posting ads in here ;)
 
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yellow0075

Member
jade - one of my meows is like that too! very scaredy cat but very manja with us. i think when baby is bigger this meow will be her best friend though :)

LH - i "invited" my parents and in laws by telling them that i am not hiring confinement nanny. They asked if we need help, so we said if they wish we help we are more than happy to accept. hehehe
 
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tpy

Member
yeah i believe we can do it without CL!
My mum is working part time in the morning but she can reach home around 1130am. 1st week my hubby will take leave to pei me and baby as i am doing confinement at my mum house but no space for my hubby to sleep and stay in...guess for this part will need to ask him how coz my mum house is further from his workplace and his current house.
I also do not want to do my confinement with my MIL as she can be v persistent in her way and i do not want to have a unhappy confinement memory.
i guess all the xingu and hardwork without CL is all worth it as it brings us closer to the baby and more bonding too. Lesser misunderstanding with strangers too.
 
Z

zhumei

Member
wahh i salute u all... can do without CL.

this is my first baby too.. so I don't know what to expect at all.

i guess i will be kiasu to have mother-in-law and have a maid too since i am staying with my in-laws first..

clash or not, i leave it to fate already.

but i am quite a chin cai person.. so hope for the best :)

anyway, i wanna ask anyone breast feeding and whether this is the right time to get a breast pump?
 
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tpy

Member
hi zhumei, i have already ordered ameda breast pump during the October baby fair. We will collect it in Feb. Some mummies that i know prefer to get one after bb is out.
 
L

LH779

Member
Hi Zhumei, my answer will be "when there's good deals!"

Hahahaha seriously cause things are really expensive when they add up. was just calculating I've nearly spend $1k on BB stuff and it didn't include big items like cot or pram etc...

Just some suggestions (as I did that myself), I got the breast pump - single ($240) and sterilizer ($180) from Robinson when they have their private sale. they have those bundle set and Robinson during private sale almost always have the spend $250 and you can use $50 discount voucher. So I bought other smaller items like BB laundry liquid, breast pad etc... and I managed to top up to $250 x 2 and used 2 of the discount vouchers. And also cause it's bundle set, it came with milk bottles which I don't have to buy separately. essentially I spend $400 but it seems to cover most of the 'feeding' products :)
 
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jadeite

Member
I already bought my breast pump at October fair since the deal was so good... came with the double pump (medela swing maxi), cooler bag, free bottles, nipple cream, breast pads plus carrier bag, and sterilizer for $50 more only. In the end if I don't have enough bm then will sell it off I guess.
 
Taboo

Taboo

Member
I got my medala PISA from US. Aunty brought back when she was on holiday. I will be re-using it again. Before I use, will be sending the motor for svs at the medala centre..
 
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