HELP !!! I am like a "Money-Tree and "Maid".
- Thread starter cherries
- Start date
No matter what ,words may be harsh,but we all hope you can untie and work out a more meaningful life.If you chose to remain where you are now,whereby our comments didint serve any help,then forever you will be having the feelings you are having now.
Cherish what u hv...all the best
Yes, my hubby is the same. He doesnt coach my DS1, doesnt feed him or wash him up. Everything Im the one who do it. But I make him pay for all household expenses since I'm doing all the job in the family. The only thing I complain about is, he doesnt help out in the housework. Sometimes I close one eyes, as long, as I'm in a good mood. But if he starts his nonsense by throwing things around or not putting things in proper order. I get frustrated and starting complaining again. FYI, my hubby has a hobby which takes up quite abit of his time, even during the weekend. But I don't mind becos I have my DS1 to comfort me. That's my priority.
RunForrest
Alpha Male
what a funny thread ! some of the replies are so funny but yet so true ! Especially the slapping and free sex part. hahaha
But seriously, the thread makes alot of man looks bad. For a moment, I thought a guy posted that to voice his grievanceS.
All boils down to communication lah and the society of coz. Emigrate to Europe or Australia ? they have better work life balance and not so kiasu i supposed ?
Last but not least, I think u need more sex. free one. family bonding is important.
But seriously, the thread makes alot of man looks bad. For a moment, I thought a guy posted that to voice his grievanceS.
All boils down to communication lah and the society of coz. Emigrate to Europe or Australia ? they have better work life balance and not so kiasu i supposed ?
Last but not least, I think u need more sex. free one. family bonding is important.
Nostalgic84
Alpha Male
Despite many harsh comments, it is very obvious that everyone here wants to see you and your husband united again. For the sake of your daughter and yourselves.
We are just saying it as it is. It's natural for everyone to feel that they are the one who is in the right, and the other party is the one who is at fault, but usually it's the bystander who can see the clearest. And obviously, while we do not have all the facts, just basing our opinions on what you have revealed alone - we have concluded that you are mostly at fault.
So, take our suggestions, go do some self reflection, put aside personal pride (pride has no place in a marriage, or a family), go kiss your daughter good night, put her to bed, make a nice pot of tea, and talk to your husband. Don't raise your voice, don't bother about making your point or proving your point, don't throw personal insults, but look for a solution without threats or malice. Take responsibility for your own unloving action as well, apologising for your abuse and frustration. Don't give excuses for yourself.
Remember, your decision with your husband, is going to determine how screwed up and damaged your daughter is going to become. I've seen some unhappy family, their children become so damaged, they join gangs, and commit crimes, and go to jail. It's something they can never really get out of.
My prayers are with you.
Also, I'd appreciate if you can reveal how much of your salary are you contributing to the joint account. I'm sorry, but I have that need to know how mathematically impaired and illogical you are. Indulge me.
marriage is all about compromising, I oso worked, need to handle household, handle maid, bring father see doc, bring kids and nieces for tuition, if they sick I have to take leave etc.
I think w/o me, d whole family will stop operation, cos they won't noe what to buy, wat to cook, where things are kept etc.
Yes, my family depends alot on me, my husband oso dun do much at home, I don't expect him to do much, expect when if I were to request something from him, I do not expect him to reject.
like, if I want to watch tv, nobody shd fight w me what channel, like if I want to drink fruit juice, I expect him to get it from me, yes, I have maid, but I want him to do it, he always obliged, cos he noe how much I have put in for the family, certain duties cannot be diligated.
as such, marriage life is always about compromising..................
I think w/o me, d whole family will stop operation, cos they won't noe what to buy, wat to cook, where things are kept etc.
Yes, my family depends alot on me, my husband oso dun do much at home, I don't expect him to do much, expect when if I were to request something from him, I do not expect him to reject.
like, if I want to watch tv, nobody shd fight w me what channel, like if I want to drink fruit juice, I expect him to get it from me, yes, I have maid, but I want him to do it, he always obliged, cos he noe how much I have put in for the family, certain duties cannot be diligated.
as such, marriage life is always about compromising..................
pineappletart
Member
sorry to say this but it feels to me that you're not a giving person.
you feel like a maid because u do things for your daughter? really?
how come u r so calculative over this???
why can't he contribute $$ to his parents??
seriously i think he's a good husband lorr! count your blessings mummy!
you feel like a maid because u do things for your daughter? really?
how come u r so calculative over this???
why can't he contribute $$ to his parents??
seriously i think he's a good husband lorr! count your blessings mummy!
endlssorrow
Alpha Male
give u 80% of salary u should feel grateful liao lor...
he tried to to decide everything at home, services to engage, which enrichment centre, taking kid to clinic, etc but u angry coz u dont like his ideal.. so i think is more ur fault..
now he let u decide everything, u also complain.. omg...
he tried to to decide everything at home, services to engage, which enrichment centre, taking kid to clinic, etc but u angry coz u dont like his ideal.. so i think is more ur fault..
now he let u decide everything, u also complain.. omg...
Hi I'm new and I hope no one minds me putting in my 2 cents worth...
I've read the Mars and Venus book and forced my hubby to read it too. It says something about men only want to solve problems and when many times they stop at their perceived big contributions (working hard with long hours to earn an income for the sake of the family) and forgotten that it's the smaller contributions (a hug and a kiss, helping out in chores, seeing that the children are well) that make women happy.
Your husband has contributed a staggering 80% of is income. I'm sure that would seem like a huge contribution on his part and he can just stop contributing in other ways and thus his behaviour which to you seems like treating home as a hotel. I think you have to read the book and try to understand your husband. The way you think, even if you changed a husband, the problem will still remain, because men will be men and do what men do. That's what I think.
And if you ask me, yes you are being very petty for not allowing him to give his parents allowance. I am sorry to say this but I think that is very mean of you. Sorry.
I've read the Mars and Venus book and forced my hubby to read it too. It says something about men only want to solve problems and when many times they stop at their perceived big contributions (working hard with long hours to earn an income for the sake of the family) and forgotten that it's the smaller contributions (a hug and a kiss, helping out in chores, seeing that the children are well) that make women happy.
Your husband has contributed a staggering 80% of is income. I'm sure that would seem like a huge contribution on his part and he can just stop contributing in other ways and thus his behaviour which to you seems like treating home as a hotel. I think you have to read the book and try to understand your husband. The way you think, even if you changed a husband, the problem will still remain, because men will be men and do what men do. That's what I think.
And if you ask me, yes you are being very petty for not allowing him to give his parents allowance. I am sorry to say this but I think that is very mean of you. Sorry.