help needed ~ urgently !

[j0reen]

hi mummies.. first time mummy here.. Im now so stressed up of taking care of my 1mth+ baby gurl.. how do I cope wid it? I dont noe wad to do when she cried so loudly.. diaper changed, milk fed.. pat her to slp, she oso dont wan.. still cry n cry.. I reali dont noe wad to do..

I often felt like crying out so much.. and Im so diappointed + hrtpain.. cos wheneva I carry her, she seems to be crying liao.. but when other ppl like her daddy or grandmother carry her, she stop crying liao.. once back to my arms, she cried again..

izzit tat she dont like me? or wad? I reali dont noe.. can any mummies/daddies tell me wad shld I do? Im totally stressed up !!!

 

[doratheexplorer]

hi don worry its normal. my son use to do that to me too. he cried very loudly but when my mil or hubby carry him, he was immed soothed. as a first time mother i fwlt just teh same as u, jealous coz as mother we feel very possessive thats y u and i feel the same way jealous and having thots that how come i am the mother my child is supposed to feel secure when i carry but its vice verse. is that how u also feel now right. after 6 months or so ur child will look for u for everything and be attached to u just like my son. so don worry. take it as a time for u to relax and let ur hubby do the fathering for a while. sometimes its a coincidence the child feels comfort from the father or granparents.

 

[j0reen]

hi dont worry its normal. my son use to do that to me too. he cried very loudly but when my mother in law or hubby carry him, he was immed soothed. as a first time mother i fwlt just teh same as you, jealous coz as mother we feel very possessive thats why you and i feel the same way jealous and having thots that how come i am the mother my child is supposed to feel secure when i carry but its vice verse. is that how you also feel now right. after 6 months or so your child will look for you for everything and be attached to you just like my son. so dont worry. take it as a time for you to relax and let your hubby do the fathering for a while. sometimes its a coincidence the child feels comfort from the father or granparents.

yea.. tats wad im tinking this few days.. felt so helpless sia.. T_T den how you cope wid the 'jealousy' during tat period? from nw till abt 6mth, still hv 4mth+ lehs.. I tink I will ki siao while waiting sia.. den wad if until tat time, my darling gurl dont behave like your son who's attached to you? T_T I cant imagine..

hais.. my dear hubby had to wrk lehs.. den his wrk oso kidda tiring tat type one.. I oso dont dare to keep asking him to do the Job.. den my ILs both oso wrking.. cant do so too.. >.< oni me so free.. tc-ing of darling gurl at home.. hais ~ but she jus cry wheneva Im the one tc-ing of her.. T_T

 

[hstan15]

hi joreen

dont worry.. u got latch her? the more u latch her, the more she will be bonded to u.. talk to her more , sing song to her... all these will helps.. my baby gal also cries a lot in teh beginning but because i keeping singing songs to her, now whenever she saw me, she will keep looking at me.. and when i smile at her, she will also.. baby just need trime to get use..

 

[aIDa81]

Hi Joreen, mostly newborns are like that.. just take it easy, and dont be stressed becoz of that, take the opportunity to rest n relax!! Situation will improved as day goes by mine was 3mths..

Take care!1

 

[Ting]

do u feel tensed up when u carrying her?
baby can feel it.
try to be in a relax n cheerful mood when taking care of her.
when u r feeling stress n tensed up, baby can sense it n thus react the same.
but if u r feeling cheerful n in a light n happy mode, baby will also relax n feel secure.
when baby is crying, take her to the room, lay her down, dim the lights a bit, on some soothing music (nursery rhymes), soothe her chest n maybe massage her hands n legs abit n hum the lullaby to her. smile n talk to her gently.
things shld improve.
dun get too frustrated and lose composure when baby cries, its normal tt they cry cos they cant talk n tell u how uncomfy they r feeling. baby see u ganchiong they also gan chiong.

 

[snowbear]

Don't be too stressed up. Sometimes bb can feel your tension or it could be the way that you carry bb that your bb doesn't like. Like last time whenever my mil tried to carry my dd she'd definitely cry coz my mil doesn't know how to carry her comfortably n coz of that my mil even more tensed while carrying her so it makes it worse. Just relax. When bb's in your dh's arms and has stopped crying, try to sing to bb or play with her such that she can associate u with positive stuff. Then try to carry her again later.

A month ago, my dd also acted strangely towards me. Every time dh passed her back to me she'd cry. Then after that we realised that she associated me with feeding medicine coz she just recovered from flu n i'm the one who feeds her medicine. It took awhile for her to get over it. It's prob a phase and will pass.

 

[uddermummy]

dont't be too stressed up. Sometimes baby can feel your tension or it could be the way that you carry baby that your baby doesn't like. Like last time whenever my mother in law tried to carry my dear daughter she'd definitely cry coz my mother in law doesn't know how to carry her comfortably and coz of that my mother in law even more tensed while carrying her so it makes it worse. Just relax. When baby's in your dear husband's arms and has stopped crying, try to sing to baby or play with her such that she can associate you with positive stuff. Then try to carry her again later.

A month ago, my dear daughter also acted strangely towards me. Every time dear husband passed her back to me she'd cry. Then after that we realised that she associated me with feeding medicine coz she just recovered from flu and i'm the one who feeds her medicine. It took awhile for her to get over it. It's prob a phase and will pass.

oh dear, i hope that dd won't associate me with horrid meds cos i'm the one feeding her meds every day.

 

[uddermummy]

joreen, maybe you can learn the way other pple carry your baby? maybe it'll help?

my dd likes to be carried a certain way and she will make noise even if she's not carried in her favourite way, regardless of who's carrying her.

 

[Jmumi]

yea.. tats what im thinking this few days.. felt so helpless sia.. T_T then how you cope wid the 'jealousy' during that period? from now till about 6mth, still have 4mth+ lehs.. I tink I will ki crazy while waiting sia.. then what if until that time, my darling gurl dont behave like your son who's attached to you? T_T I cant imagine..

hais.. my dear hubby had to wrk lehs.. then his wrk also kidda tiring that type one.. I also dont dare to keep asking him to do the Job.. then my ILs both also wrking.. cant do so too.. >.< oni me so free.. tc-ing of darling gurl at home.. hais ~ but she just cry wheneva Im the one tc-ing of her.. T_T

time flies very fast, when my boi was only 1mth..i also wondering how long i've to endure..but now already 5th plus..ancing_wub:
becos our elderly tends to feel more confident when carry babies and trust me babies will feel what mummy is feeling. When you feel fustrated or scare to carry them, they will feel it. The only way they can communicated to you is cry... Dun feel nervous or scared to carry your girl. Shower her with love by singing, cradle and tok to her. All babies loves to hear mummy soothing voice! you can overcome all these.. Dun worry, time flies!!

 

[CanCanMum]

hi mummies.. first time mummy here.. Im now so stressed up of taking care of my 1mth+ baby gurl.. how do I cope wid it? I dont know what to do when she cried so loudly.. diaper changed, milk fed.. pat her to sleep, she also dont want.. still cry and cry.. I reali dont know what to do..

I often felt like crying out so much.. and Im so diappointed + hrtpain.. cos wheneva I carry her, she seems to be crying .. but when other ppl like her daddy or grandmother carry her, she stop crying .. once back to my arms, she cried again..

izzit that she dont like me? or what? I reali dont know.. can any mummies/daddies tell me what shld I do? Im totally stressed up !!!

i used to feel tat way too, dunno how to handle babies.....as first time mothers its perfectly normal

as long as u have done watever u can to handle the cries, no need to feel stressed by her crying. In fact i find tat if baby cries nonstop, bringing them downstairs your house or somewhere to walk walk will help a little, coz last time my Baber oso cried nonstop out of no reason.....dunno why. Did everything from A to Z, still cry.....Pek chek.....den hubby bring him outside of the house to walk walk den he stopped a little....

of coz i oso as pek chek as u and stressed up and end up crying together wif baby....lols~~~but its actually juz a passing phase. Becoz we have only first time experience with babies, it takes time to understand them and "tame" them. As time passes by, u will know your baby more and can handle her better. Slowly pick up its ok. When u r stressed up, call your bestie, call your friends......talk to them. Dun bottle up your feelings......

The worst thing i ever did was to call my mum, telling her wad shall i do now tat baber is crying nonstop (on a weekend without her) and the worst reply i got from her was "No baby, u gonna handle this all by yourself, i cannot be there for you all the time" lols~~~~

So as time goes by as your baby is bigger and stronger, u will understand her needs more and more, as such u will oso find handling her easier and better. U r SAHM rite? Tats oso beta coz baby will be closer to u as well. For me last time i only looked after at night and during weekends and its really headache whenever baber cries......hahaha those were the days~~~:001_302:

yea.. tats what im thinking this few days.. felt so helpless sia.. T_T then how you cope wid the 'jealousy' during that period? from now till about 6mth, still have 4mth+ lehs.. I tink I will ki crazy while waiting sia.. then what if until that time, my darling gurl dont behave like your son who's attached to you? T_T I cant imagine..

hais.. my dear hubby had to wrk lehs.. then his wrk also kidda tiring that type one.. I also dont dare to keep asking him to do the Job.. then my ILs both also wrking.. cant do so too.. >.< oni me so free.. tc-ing of darling gurl at home.. hais ~ but she just cry wheneva Im the one tc-ing of her.. T_T

tat happens to me oso, everyone carry baber he ok, everyone feeds him milk he dun puke, only me is the odd one out~~ but be assured this is only the passing phase......takes some time for the "chemistry" to happen :001_302::001_302::001_302:

meanwhile need to rant please come in to MUMMYSG or MUMMYSG Night and Day owls club.....daily chit chat sessions~~~~

 

[j0reen]

to all mummies who had replied me.. thanks for all the advice n comfort.. and to cancanmum, hahaha, yea.. I'll come n rant at mummysg.. rofl ~ hopefully wont get blacklist.. HAHAHAHAHA !

anyway, glad to inform ppl who care, my darling gurl no longer cry when I carry her.. instd, she nw wan me to sayang her to slp.. =DDD ancing_wub:

once agn, thanks all mummies! :tlaugh:

 

[CanCanMum]

to all mummies who had replied me.. thanks for all the advice and comfort.. and to cancanmum, hahaha, yea.. I'll come and rant at mummysg.. rofl ~ hopefully wont get blacklist.. HAHAHAHAHA !

anyway, glad to inform ppl who care, my darling gurl no longer cry when I carry her.. instd, she now want me to sayang her to sleep.. =DDD ancing_wub:

once agn, thanks all mummies! :tlaugh:

*serious face*

will blacklist u lols~~~~kiddin laaa hhahahahhaha

 

[j0reen]

LOL! scare me sia.. hahaha ~

 

[DodoTan]

Actually, I sometimes feel that it's the other way around. Babies are too young to express their feelings differently. All they know is to cry. But they could cry for a hundred different reasons. I noticed that for my son, since he was about 3 months, he'd cry more when I'm around or when he sees me. That's because he WANTS me. Want me to pick him up and walk around, go outside or downstairs. Want to hear my voice, play with my shirt, etc. He didn't always stop crying after I pick him up. It's probably his way of complaining: why you didn't pick me up sooner?

That could be the case for your baby too. Except that it's hard for her to express that. In teochew we say the baby 'yang ore'. See mummy, want mummy. See mummy then become more pampared. It's really true! I really don't spoil my boy at all. He's learning how to stand on his own and walk now and seriously, I sometimes just let him fall down so that he can learn. He'll cry and hug me tight tight then go back to doing the same thing. hahaha...

 

[mich_liu82]

Pacifier? It helps...