How would u feel and what will you do?

[Eneres]

My hubby give a sub card to his mum for the reason of in case need to use when oversea.

Now my hubby unable to give her allowance cos his pay is already less then his expenses. So my MIL use the card and then deduct the allowance from the amount and return my hubby the balance. So my hubby is like being force to fork out the monthly allowance even though he do not have any spare money. So in the end I need to top up the money to pay the credit card bill using my own money.

Somemore, I have been paying for all the expenses for our 2 daughters, cos hubby not enough money.

If it was you, how will you feel?

For me, I feel that if my hubby have the ability to give her allowance, i dun mind him giving. But now is like kena force to give cos die die also have to pay the bank.:bmad:

 

[uddermummy]

discuss this over with your hubby, and ask your hubby to talk to his mum? If finances are tight and his mum is reasonable, then maybe she'll agree to stop getting allowance from him for the time being?

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Yes agree, get ur hubby to talk to his mum....let her know his situation

 

[diymummy]

Does his mum know the situation? If the allowance is suddenly stop short his mum might feel that her son doesn't want to give her anymore allowance and use the credit card as "revenge". Can reassure her that once your financial situation improves that you will surely give her allowance again.

 

[apollo]

did ur hubby let his mum know the current finance situation? must 'force' ur hubby to let his mum knows. i'm sure if his mum knows it, she will stop doing tt... cos my mil did not ask for allowances from hubby ever since we got married. i think she knows we need to save for the future home and our baby...

 

[TANZHENZHI]

Yes i agreed. Must let his mum know about it. If not you both sit down and talk to his mum let him know your finances are very tight. I'm sure she'll understand. She has come so far and should know raising a family is not easy too. Hope things goes well for you! Take Care.

 

[Ting]

agree with the mummies, talk to your hubby abt it n let your MIL know your financial situations.
but why is your hubby's expenditure so much?
i mean, since u r alr paying for both your kids, then his pay is only for himself right?

 

[chiro]

get him to limit his mum's credit limit & talk to his mum lor..cos in long run its detrimental for ur whole family

 

[Eneres]

he will not say he is financially tight... he will say never mind.. den 10 days before payday, his account will be empty..

his expenditure is high cos he need to pay for his car which he bought when he has a higher pay job. now with the pay cut and no fat bonus, he unable to sustain.

his mother will never understand.. and like to compare with other people kids who earn a lot of $$... when we got married, his mother still wants my hubby to pay for the gold that she suppose to give me during the tea ceremony. i was like "den you might as well dun give me".

anyway, his elder sister also staying in the house with her BF, also never give allowance even though she has been working for 3 years... of cos she got nothing for my MIL to deduct the allowance from... i was so stupid to agree for my hubby to get her the sub card.ancing_angry:

 

[apollo]

he will not say he is financially tight... he will say never mind.. then 10 days before payday, his account will be empty..

his expenditure is high cos he need to pay for his car which he bought when he has a higher pay job. now with the pay cut and no fat bonus, he unable to sustain.

his mother will never understand.. and like to compare with other people kids who earn a lot of $$... when we got married, his mother still wants my hubby to pay for the gold that she suppose to give me during the tea ceremony. i was like "then you might as well dont give me".

anyway, his elder sister also staying in the house with her BF, also never give allowance even though she has been working for 3 years... of cos she got nothing for my mother in law to deduct the allowance from... i was so stupid to agree for my hubby to get her the sub card.ancing_angry:

some mothers still hav such thinking tt they shd take money from sons instead of daughters.

maybe ur mil see ur hubby still can afford a car thus she feels tt ur hubby is capable of giving her allowances...

u must ask ur hubby to tel her if not in e end it is the few of u who will be suffering...

the best is, get ur hubby to cancel the card if ur mil still dont understand aft explaining to her.. just tel her ur hubby going bankrupt soon..

 

[Eneres]

Hai... what to do??

my hubby always be the good boy and his sister always the clever one...

She is driving a more expensive car then my hubby and bought a 5 room flat... no $$ for downpayment, get from mother lor..

sometime i feel so unfair, we save and buy cheap stuff have to kena force to give allowance. his sister spend $$ to buy good stuff to wear and eat then shout no $$, dun need to give allowance.

Thanks for all your advise.. i just need a place to rant my unhappiness alse i think i will just go bonkers.

 

[Jan]

Why don't you ask your hubby to terminate the supp card? When your mother in law ask.. just tell her they wanted to charge annual fee and the fee is too high to pay.. Then also using this opportunity to tell her that your hubby actually got a pay cut and you all are now surviving with your salary...

If she still dare to ask for allowance, just negotiate to an amount that you and your hubby are comfortable to giive...

 

[Ting]

agree with jan, just cancel the sub card, say no money to pay!
i would think your MIL is abit too much..
your SIL has a 5 room flat but she is still living with your MIL??

 

[Eneres]

Her 5 room flat is still building in progress.

Me and hubby also bought a 4 room flat, can't wait to move out. but think when move to new house, i can only move my cupboard and bed over cos no $$ to reno also. ancing_sad:

 

[fiza]

Her 5 room flat is still building in progress.

Me and hubby also bought a 4 room flat, can't wait to move out. but think when move to new house, i can only move my cupboard and bed over cos no $$ to reno also. ancing_sad:

I empathise with you.. Why don't you cancel the sub card.. wait for her to ask.. then explain to her.. the bills are piling and you both are not able to clear the bills.. Sorry to say this but I think your MIL is really too much.. and so is your SIL...

 

[Renzie]

Yeah, if she refuses to understand, just terminate the sub card. Just explain things to her, that you'll resume giving her allowance when times are better.

 

[stonston]

Just terminate the card, then tell her that no money to pay bank so bank cancelled the card.

Your hubby is too nice. Remind him that his family (you & the kids) come first.

 

[apollo]

Why dont't you ask your hubby to terminate the supp card? When your mother in law ask.. just tell her they wanted to charge annual fee and the fee is too high to pay.. Then also using this opportunity to tell her that your hubby actually got a pay cut and you all are now surviving with your salary...

If she still dare to ask for allowance, just negotiate to an amount that you and your hubby are comfortable to giive...

i think dont say the annual fee high, shd say cos ur hubby got no money to pay the bank so the bank terminate it..

 

[apollo]

Just terminate the card, then tell her that no money to pay bank so bank cancelled the card.

Your hubby is too nice. Remind him that his family (you & the kids) come first.

YES i agree!!!! at least u say the bank terminates it, she will know that ur hubby really got no money...

 

[Triquetra]

I can understand how you feel!
Sad to say... nothing much can be done cause I doubt your husband will want to upset your mom.