this is a long story...
Ive been married for 6yrs already, and a mother to a 5y/o boy...i could say that i am happy and contented with my marriage life...or so i thot...i am married to a wonderful man...a good father, husband, provider...we r not rich, but we can manage to meet both ends meet...
i worked the moment i finished my bachelors degree...and just focus on my family...my mom, my dad (who both dont have permanent jobs)...my 2 sisters (which i financed the studies until they too got their bachelors degree)...
i cant say i look bad, i can make a few heads turn when i walk past ...but for some reason, nobody dated me...i had my first boyfriend when i was 24...yep, u got it right, FIRST BF...after 5yrs of being together, we got married...
then, my son came, i quit my job..and became a full time mom...i dont have regrets, im happy with my decision (it was a mutual decision btw)...
hubby was ever supportive of me...in all aspect...
i dont have many friends...i dont socialize much...then my world became smaller and smaller...my hse work became a routine...my whole world revolves arnd my son, my husband, and the 4 corners of my hse.
until i met an old secondary 4 classmate again...
we met thru FB...it started with a simple chat...then we exchanged hp numbers...then we exchanged smses...then he began to call...the moment i heard his voice...i felt diffrent already...then he would call often...would just ask me if how i am doing...if i had eaten lunch...or would tell me he had eaten his lunch already...then the smses became a little sweet...we exchanged goodnight/goodmorning greetings...until one night he said: goodnight to u, u r my sweetdreams...i felt tickled pink...and he kissed me thru the fone...which i smilingly accepted...and kissed him back thru fone...then we agreed to meet up for a coffee....
we talked abt old days...abt our sch...old classmates and teachers...
then he held my hand...and told me, he wanted to be honest abt how he feels...he said, he was attracted to me...i know i shld have pulled my hand, but i like the feeling of it being held by him...he told me that he wished he met me first...u see, he is also married with a 1y/o son...we talked abt how our ideas and thoughts r so alike...abt the books that we like, the things that we want to do...we talked abt how easy is it to converse with each other, bec we dont need much words for our ideas to be understood by each other...then he kissed me (i didnt respond to his kisses, but i hugged him)...why do i feel so right at that time...i feel so happy and alive...i feel like a teenager...i know its all wrong...very wrong...and i was stupid and idiot and dumb...bec we met again...this time i responded to his kisses...
we had our 'little secret'...u see, we dont have plans to ruin our home...we dont have plans to leave our respective partners...its just that we want to be together for a 'little while'...we said, we'll regard it as a dream...
until he started to send me naughty smses...im not very confortable abt it so i told him...i asked him what was happening...its doesnt sound like him...he sms me as if he's talking to some girl from the red district...u see i dont have plans of going to bed with him...i guess he took me wrong when i allowed him to kiss and hug me and hold my hand...i can't and dont want to go beyond those...
he then replied that he's so sorry...and yes, he's not thinking properly at that time, and i dont have to worry bec i wont be receiving those kinds of sms again...
last night i sms him if he's going home already...he replied that he's going to the mall to watch a movie...i answered that he still has a promised movie date with me...after a few hours i sms him goodnight...no reply.
this morning....i greeted him goodmorning thru sms...after an hour, no reply, i sent a msg again asking him if there's a problem, no reply, so i tried calling him...he's giving me busy tone...finally he sms me telling me he need to work first and will tell me later...lunch break i sent a msg again, no reply...i tried calling him...1st 3 call, he gave me a busy tone...4th call 'subscriber is currently unavailable'...
now im lost...i feel terrible...
i know im wrong...im dumb...idiot...stupid...and im in pain...why does it have to be this painful...
this is my little secret...a secret i want to forget...
i shared it here bec i need to pour out...
i know many will get angry with me...this pain is also caused by me...and now im suffering...
i wanted to forget everything...i wanted to regard it as a nightmare...
Ive been married for 6yrs already, and a mother to a 5y/o boy...i could say that i am happy and contented with my marriage life...or so i thot...i am married to a wonderful man...a good father, husband, provider...we r not rich, but we can manage to meet both ends meet...
i worked the moment i finished my bachelors degree...and just focus on my family...my mom, my dad (who both dont have permanent jobs)...my 2 sisters (which i financed the studies until they too got their bachelors degree)...
i cant say i look bad, i can make a few heads turn when i walk past ...but for some reason, nobody dated me...i had my first boyfriend when i was 24...yep, u got it right, FIRST BF...after 5yrs of being together, we got married...
then, my son came, i quit my job..and became a full time mom...i dont have regrets, im happy with my decision (it was a mutual decision btw)...
hubby was ever supportive of me...in all aspect...
i dont have many friends...i dont socialize much...then my world became smaller and smaller...my hse work became a routine...my whole world revolves arnd my son, my husband, and the 4 corners of my hse.
until i met an old secondary 4 classmate again...
we met thru FB...it started with a simple chat...then we exchanged hp numbers...then we exchanged smses...then he began to call...the moment i heard his voice...i felt diffrent already...then he would call often...would just ask me if how i am doing...if i had eaten lunch...or would tell me he had eaten his lunch already...then the smses became a little sweet...we exchanged goodnight/goodmorning greetings...until one night he said: goodnight to u, u r my sweetdreams...i felt tickled pink...and he kissed me thru the fone...which i smilingly accepted...and kissed him back thru fone...then we agreed to meet up for a coffee....
we talked abt old days...abt our sch...old classmates and teachers...
then he held my hand...and told me, he wanted to be honest abt how he feels...he said, he was attracted to me...i know i shld have pulled my hand, but i like the feeling of it being held by him...he told me that he wished he met me first...u see, he is also married with a 1y/o son...we talked abt how our ideas and thoughts r so alike...abt the books that we like, the things that we want to do...we talked abt how easy is it to converse with each other, bec we dont need much words for our ideas to be understood by each other...then he kissed me (i didnt respond to his kisses, but i hugged him)...why do i feel so right at that time...i feel so happy and alive...i feel like a teenager...i know its all wrong...very wrong...and i was stupid and idiot and dumb...bec we met again...this time i responded to his kisses...
we had our 'little secret'...u see, we dont have plans to ruin our home...we dont have plans to leave our respective partners...its just that we want to be together for a 'little while'...we said, we'll regard it as a dream...
until he started to send me naughty smses...im not very confortable abt it so i told him...i asked him what was happening...its doesnt sound like him...he sms me as if he's talking to some girl from the red district...u see i dont have plans of going to bed with him...i guess he took me wrong when i allowed him to kiss and hug me and hold my hand...i can't and dont want to go beyond those...
he then replied that he's so sorry...and yes, he's not thinking properly at that time, and i dont have to worry bec i wont be receiving those kinds of sms again...
last night i sms him if he's going home already...he replied that he's going to the mall to watch a movie...i answered that he still has a promised movie date with me...after a few hours i sms him goodnight...no reply.
this morning....i greeted him goodmorning thru sms...after an hour, no reply, i sent a msg again asking him if there's a problem, no reply, so i tried calling him...he's giving me busy tone...finally he sms me telling me he need to work first and will tell me later...lunch break i sent a msg again, no reply...i tried calling him...1st 3 call, he gave me a busy tone...4th call 'subscriber is currently unavailable'...
now im lost...i feel terrible...
i know im wrong...im dumb...idiot...stupid...and im in pain...why does it have to be this painful...
this is my little secret...a secret i want to forget...
i shared it here bec i need to pour out...
i know many will get angry with me...this pain is also caused by me...and now im suffering...
i wanted to forget everything...i wanted to regard it as a nightmare...