i have a story to share...

[ten7teen]

this is a long story...

Ive been married for 6yrs already, and a mother to a 5y/o boy...i could say that i am happy and contented with my marriage life...or so i thot...i am married to a wonderful man...a good father, husband, provider...we r not rich, but we can manage to meet both ends meet...
i worked the moment i finished my bachelors degree...and just focus on my family...my mom, my dad (who both dont have permanent jobs)...my 2 sisters (which i financed the studies until they too got their bachelors degree)...
i cant say i look bad, i can make a few heads turn when i walk past ...but for some reason, nobody dated me...i had my first boyfriend when i was 24...yep, u got it right, FIRST BF...after 5yrs of being together, we got married...
then, my son came, i quit my job..and became a full time mom...i dont have regrets, im happy with my decision (it was a mutual decision btw)...
hubby was ever supportive of me...in all aspect...
i dont have many friends...i dont socialize much...then my world became smaller and smaller...my hse work became a routine...my whole world revolves arnd my son, my husband, and the 4 corners of my hse.
until i met an old secondary 4 classmate again...
we met thru FB...it started with a simple chat...then we exchanged hp numbers...then we exchanged smses...then he began to call...the moment i heard his voice...i felt diffrent already...then he would call often...would just ask me if how i am doing...if i had eaten lunch...or would tell me he had eaten his lunch already...then the smses became a little sweet...we exchanged goodnight/goodmorning greetings...until one night he said: goodnight to u, u r my sweetdreams...i felt tickled pink...and he kissed me thru the fone...which i smilingly accepted...and kissed him back thru fone...then we agreed to meet up for a coffee....
we talked abt old days...abt our sch...old classmates and teachers...
then he held my hand...and told me, he wanted to be honest abt how he feels...he said, he was attracted to me...i know i shld have pulled my hand, but i like the feeling of it being held by him...he told me that he wished he met me first...u see, he is also married with a 1y/o son...we talked abt how our ideas and thoughts r so alike...abt the books that we like, the things that we want to do...we talked abt how easy is it to converse with each other, bec we dont need much words for our ideas to be understood by each other...then he kissed me (i didnt respond to his kisses, but i hugged him)...why do i feel so right at that time...i feel so happy and alive...i feel like a teenager...i know its all wrong...very wrong...and i was stupid and idiot and dumb...bec we met again...this time i responded to his kisses...
we had our 'little secret'...u see, we dont have plans to ruin our home...we dont have plans to leave our respective partners...its just that we want to be together for a 'little while'...we said, we'll regard it as a dream...
until he started to send me naughty smses...im not very confortable abt it so i told him...i asked him what was happening...its doesnt sound like him...he sms me as if he's talking to some girl from the red district...u see i dont have plans of going to bed with him...i guess he took me wrong when i allowed him to kiss and hug me and hold my hand...i can't and dont want to go beyond those...
he then replied that he's so sorry...and yes, he's not thinking properly at that time, and i dont have to worry bec i wont be receiving those kinds of sms again...
last night i sms him if he's going home already...he replied that he's going to the mall to watch a movie...i answered that he still has a promised movie date with me...after a few hours i sms him goodnight...no reply.
this morning....i greeted him goodmorning thru sms...after an hour, no reply, i sent a msg again asking him if there's a problem, no reply, so i tried calling him...he's giving me busy tone...finally he sms me telling me he need to work first and will tell me later...lunch break i sent a msg again, no reply...i tried calling him...1st 3 call, he gave me a busy tone...4th call 'subscriber is currently unavailable'...
now im lost...i feel terrible...
i know im wrong...im dumb...idiot...stupid...and im in pain...why does it have to be this painful...

this is my little secret...a secret i want to forget...
i shared it here bec i need to pour out...
i know many will get angry with me...this pain is also caused by me...and now im suffering...

i wanted to forget everything...i wanted to regard it as a nightmare...

 

[DodoTan]

I think this happened because you allowed your social circle to shrink so much that it didn't exit anymore. So once someone became nice and you connected, it's easy to become caught up in it. You need to forget about this guy because he is obviously sending you the message that it's over and because it is obviously wrong. My suggestion is that you do something to start a social circle again. Join a club, take up a class, do some volunteer work, take up some part time job... anything that allows you to interact with some people. Bound to be that you'll find people you can talk to and relate with. Also, when you have you own little thing going on, you'd have more to share with your hubby and more excuses to talk and re-connect with him.

 

[Jovy]

I think this happened because you allowed your social circle to shrink so much that it didn't exit anymore. So once someone became nice and you connected, it's easy to become caught up in it. You need to forget about this guy because he is obviously sending you the message that it's over and because it is obviously wrong. My suggestion is that you do something to start a social circle again. Join a club, take up a class, do some volunteer work, take up some part time job... anything that allows you to interact with some people. Bound to be that you'll find people you can talk to and relate with. Also, when you have you own little thing going on, you'd have more to share with your hubby and more excuses to talk and re-connect with him.

Move on you are a mother and a wife. Dont ruin your family by having a short happiness. Find good friends or make yourself busy into something useful. What happened was wrong and there is no excuses. If you continue you will feel worst. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Phoebii Cheng]

Hmmm forget this guy, obviously he is taking you for a ride and mislead you. Yes, when we are married for some time, our world revolves around hubby & kids, but it is important to keep the feeling with your hubby alive.........start by dating your hubby like go for movies together, have a nice meal together just the two of you without your son, go for a spa & nice massages....

Communication is also important in a marriage, are you communicating with your hubby?

 

[jasobias]

he just wants a booty call lah..kick his ass when u ever see him again
n pls he is not worth it..no one will be worth more than ur family
he was just looking for free sex with no strings attached since he knows u r married
get him out of ur mind

 

[Ting]

dont let such a man ruin your marriage. he's just trying to push his luck n see if he can get u to bed. DUH. the moment u rejected him, he shown his true colours alr.
he's just preying on u.
pity his wife. wonder how many other girls/women he had tricked. lucky for u, u werent too blinded by tt infatuation u had for him n made a huge mistake u might regret for the rest of your life.

u can try to get to know more frens thru better ways than FB. like the mummies here. well, we r all mums n i guess we will hv much more stuffs to talk n relate to u. since your husband is gd to u, n u hv a happy marriage, dun risk it. it is not worth it. temptations are always out there, it is up to ur own willpower to not fall into them. a moment of "bliss" is not worth compared to a lifetime of joy.
move on from here n just forget abt this person. like u mention, take it as a bad dream, nightmare n dont think abt it anymore.
FOCUS. on your family. if possible, maybe u can take up a PT job or learn a new hobby- baking, knitting, sewing, dancing. distract yourself, n soon u will forget abt it.

 

[ten7teen]

i just read all the replies and u guys made me cry so much...im thankful for understanding me and not writing bad things abt what i did... i deactivated my fb acct...changed my hp number...im still in pain but knowing myself, i know i can move on...i just need to pour out...thank u...thank u so much...u girls r a big help in what im feeling now...its true...i dont have a social life..well, i dont really go out even when im still single to begin with...i basically stay at home after sch...same with when i was working...my life was home...work...place of worship...home...work...place of worship...i have 2 good friends, who both stays abroad...since young i feel that i dont exist...simpy bec nobody notices me...in my uni days, nobody got interested with me...when i was working...nobody asked me for a date...my husband was the only man who 'saw' me...so when someone came, and noticed me...i guess i was overly joyed...

this is just a nightmare...im glad that i woke up...yes, i need to forget him...thank u so much mummies...(hugs)

 

[diymummy]

I'm glad you woke up from your nightmare and are walking away from temptation.

I agree with dodotan. And I also feel that maybe you and your hubby should spice up your life a bit. Like, get romantic, go on dates.

I think it's nice to have only 1 bf and end up marrying him. I also had 1 bf and ended up marrying him. I'm happy I didn't have to go thru any breakup pains.

I also agree that the guy is just out for free sex. I'm glad you guys didn't get there or else you'd feel even worse than you are feeling right now. Forget abt him. He's just making use of you.

 

[angelwendy]

I feel that.. might be because ur hubby is ur FIRSTLOVE... so u never try another other relationship before.. that's y u feel fresh about this...

BUt... i feel that is not worth it... u already say that u have a very good hubby... then y in the first place u wanna to hurt & cheat on him?? think about ur son... & hubby.. if one day ur hubby cheat on u.. how would u feel??
i really hope u walk out of it... & never go back in to this kind of unhealthy relationship with that guy again... honest speaking... he just wanna to bed u.. free sex... he is not true about this relationship.. so just let it go... don't affect urself because of this guy...

did u ever think.. what if one day u kana caught by ur hubby?? is it worth for u to take this risk??

 

[angelwendy]

i just read all the replies and you guys made me cry so much...im thankful for understanding me and not writing bad things about what i did... i deactivated my facebook acct...changed my hp number...im still in pain but knowing myself, i know i can move on...i just need to pour out...thank you...thank you so much...you girls r a big help in what im feeling now...its true...i dont have a social life..well, i dont really go out even when im still single to begin with...i basically stay at home after sch...same with when i was working...my life was home...work...place of worship...home...work...place of worship...i have 2 good friends, who both stays abroad...since young i feel that i dont exist...simpy bec nobody notices me...in my uni days, nobody got interested with me...when i was working...nobody asked me for a date...my husband was the only man who 'saw' me...so when someone came, and noticed me...i guess i was overly joyed...

this is just a nightmare...im glad that i woke up...yes, i need to forget him...thank you so much mummies...(hugs)

My dear.. pats... if u wan a social life.. u can always meet us up?? we always have grathering...

 

[DodoTan]

i just read all the replies and you guys made me cry so much...im thankful for understanding me and not writing bad things about what i did... i deactivated my facebook acct...changed my hp number...im still in pain but knowing myself, i know i can move on...i just need to pour out...thank you...thank you so much...you girls r a big help in what im feeling now...its true...i dont have a social life..well, i dont really go out even when im still single to begin with...i basically stay at home after sch...same with when i was working...my life was home...work...place of worship...home...work...place of worship...i have 2 good friends, who both stays abroad...since young i feel that i dont exist...simpy bec nobody notices me...in my uni days, nobody got interested with me...when i was working...nobody asked me for a date...my husband was the only man who 'saw' me...so when someone came, and noticed me...i guess i was overly joyed...

this is just a nightmare...im glad that i woke up...yes, i need to forget him...thank you so much mummies...(hugs)

Hey if you're interested, I could introduce you to my environmental volunteer group. Wide range of people to meet and activities to do. It's a nice crowd with a common cause. Waterways Watch you can email or PM me to find out more

 

[ten7teen]

even in the beginning...i dont want to go beyond kiss and hugs...i cant give 'that' to him...and yes, i cant take the risk of being caught...the thing that made me feel terrible is the idea that i cheated...of all person...its me..and i cant accept the fact that i allowed this to happen...im always the 'good' girl...i can remember my mother's friends telling me they want me to be their daughter-in-law...same with my dad's friends...asking me to choose their sons for a husband...they said im a good catch...i dont have bad records at all...dont drink...dont smoke...my parents didnt get thru those difficult stage with their teenage daughter...simply because after sch i go straight home, i dont have many friends to go out with or hang out with...even when i was dating my hubby, i still ask permission from them if i can go out...my hubby and i became a couple for 5yrs before we got married...and yes, i was a virgin bride...
so this whole idea of me cheating is...arrgghh...it pains me to even see that word...
but its all over now...i finally woke up...

 

[Ting]

everyone makes mistakes in their life, the most impt thing is, we learn from them n nvr repeat it again. dont be too hard on yourself.

 

[christine77sg]

ten7teen>> Hearing your words remind me of my past. Due to my character/social life/ work, I had many chances to get to meet new pple. There were alot of temptations, to which I succumb to some. I was dating my hubby then.(Btw, we were together for more than 10 yrs before getting married) Now tat I think back, tears fill my eyes. I hv hurt him w/o him knowing n this is something which I can't change anymore. He is a gd man and trusted mi fully, financially n emotionally.

From your words, I can tell u r a good person. I m glad u r stronger than me n took the courage to mak urself uncontactable to him. I admire u for tat. I too believe u will survive this and one day...like mi...u will come to understd tat this fling is nt worth even occupying a space in our memory.

 

[ten7teen]

christine77sg (hugs)...thank u so much...thank u to all the mummies here...i appreciate it a lot that u share with me ur time and heart...ill be fine...now i decided to go and learn something new...i need to occupy my mind with useful, healthy things...thanks a lot...

 

[angelwendy]

even in the beginning...i dont want to go beyond kiss and hugs...i cant give 'that' to him...and yes, i cant take the risk of being caught...the thing that made me feel terrible is the idea that i cheated...of all person...its me..and i cant accept the fact that i allowed this to happen...im always the 'good' girl...i can remember my mother's friends telling me they want me to be their daughter-in-law...same with my dad's friends...asking me to choose their sons for a husband...they said im a good catch...i dont have bad records at all...dont drink...dont smoke...my parents didnt get thru those difficult stage with their teenage daughter...simply because after sch i go straight home, i dont have many friends to go out with or hang out with...even when i was dating my hubby, i still ask permission from them if i can go out...my hubby and i became a couple for 5yrs before we got married...and yes, i was a virgin bride...
so this whole idea of me cheating is...arrgghh...it pains me to even see that word...
but its all over now...i finally woke up...

Since u already woke up.. just get over it & move on... if u need someone.. u can always come here... there is lots of nice mummy around that is willing to help...

 

[edy]

this is a long story...

Ive been married for 6yrs already, and a mother to a 5y/o boy...i could say that i am happy and contented with my marriage life...or so i thot...i am married to a wonderful man...a good father, husband, provider...we r not rich, but we can manage to meet both ends meet...

i wanted to forget everything...i wanted to regard it as a nightmare...

New things are always exciting but when one's has desire it is the time trouble comes.

Please stand by the vow you made when you decided to tie the knot with your husband.

Are you willing to risk and break the vow you had just because it is something new?

What would your kids feel about a mum whom left them for another man?

Yes you do not wish to continue but as we know it is always one thing leads to another.

Take care and think carefully.

 

[apollo]

u're lucky that u didnt go any deeper into the so-called r/s.. and i'm glad that u shared it with us, cos this proves that u're willing turn back b4 things get worse. am also glad that u've 'wake up' from the dream. =)

 

[ten7teen]

thank you all mummies...im moving on...

 

[skirtdressnsuch]

thank you all mummies...im moving on...

best of luck!!!! risking such a gd marriage just for a little fling?..............not worth it =)