If u hv a choice, wld u live with ur MIL?

[apollo]

I've been living with my inlaws for 2 years now, and everything i'd say quite ok...

My mother in law take care of me during pregnancy and confinement, she's a good cook and also friendly. I'd say she's very nice person. Giving me and my husband our own space in their house... I'm quite grateful to have them as inlaws.

After my 1st baby, my inlaws become closer to us, my brother in law and sister In law also i feel are more open to me. My mother in law would take care of the baby when i need to go out for a while, and she dont't mind it.

But as much as they gave a space for me, I'd do the same to them too... I try not to burden them so much in taking care my baby or even taking care of myself.. like doing my own laundry, cleaning, cooking my own stuff whenever my inlaws go out. Try not too depend on my inlaws in taking care of our own small family.

In fact it's my own mom who is a control freak haha!
If she came over she would nag nag nag that my mother in law way of taking care baby is not the correct way... aiyoo.. headache i tell you!

The good thing living with inlaws is they can help taking care of baby when I need a break... rather than hiring nanny.

i'm sure all mummies here envy u alot! i dont if my mil will change in future but hopefully she stays lik what she is now.

grand mil has many sons but she only wants to live alone. hopefully my pil also will think this way when they grow old... :tlaugh:

 

[jazz_sofia]

personally, i dont like living with any inlaws...its nice to only see them a few times in a year...to retain the 'nice' treatment between each other...i know that most of them r just 'concern' with our families, but still, to keep us from being crazy...better not...same with my parents, bec i understand the dilemna of hubby bec my parents r his inlaws...my 2 cents worth.

 

[princessminn]

yes...she is the type have backbone one...dont like to depend on others...lucky...ahhhh......i super spineless ....depend on her to take care of my kids...:001_302:



good ...at least that way she want to find chance to quarrel with you also cannot ha ha ha...



not to scare you but it's the sad truth....

yup...
but i dun tink she will wanna quarrel wif mi laa..
haa...
she'll say my hubby then my hubby will come n tell mi.
i'll shoo off my hubby wif my words n arguments...
so tt's y i tink stay wif in laws hurts e r/s of a couple...

 

[Porukadotzu]

i'm sure all mummies here envy you alot! i dont if my mother in law will change in future but hopefully she stays lik what she is now.

grand mother in law has many sons but she only wants to live alone. hopefully my parent in law also will think this way when they grow old... :tlaugh:

haha, dun need to envy me, coz my own parents are the one diff to handle -___-;

 

[MomoMummy]

Thank you so much to all who have shared with me your opinions and experience!!! Really appreciate it! Actually I m also a person who have my own habits and sometimes I want to have e freedom to do thgs e way I want. Even living wit my own parents before marriage, my parents let me have those freedom.

But sometimes my hubby hint hint to me that his mum is old (leg pain) and she had worked her whole life almost 24 hours a day to earn $ when she was young to take care of him and his bro. So I feel bad if I prevent him fm living with her. But I really phobia cos my hubby's brother's wife (sister In law) also cld not live with her. before I was married, my sister In law and brother in law lived with my mother in law for about a your. I think one fine day my sister In law cannot tahan (not sure what issues) already then they bought their own flat.

Aiyo, how ...

i know your feeling when u somehow want to let her stay cos of yr husband but scare u and her dun click. imagine you are your husband, you would also wan your mom to b with you.

im now like that also. hubby super super protective over his family and if anybody treats his family bad, he will surely stand up and hit back at tt person. confinement time, i got conflicts with his mum and he super stress. hmm seriously if not tt i gave birth to DD, he will sure make a big fuss with me. anyway conflicts between MIL is always becos of children. be4 move in, my dream is to buy a house and live happily with my parents in law. but now i definately change to just living with my family.

now that my MIL is in msia and me looking after my DD myself, its all peace here...

if realli can choose, dun stay together. realli less the stress...

 

[PinkDiamonds]

Don't say stay together will have conflict, now we are living apart (they stay Yishun, we stay Tampines) I already bth my MIL! She will come once a week to see her dear granddaughter (no objections as I get a few hours off to do my own things or nap), & we have to go over once a week to eat dinner. One thing is that we always go over and end up going home late (pass my girl's bedtime & she get cranky).

Whenever my MIL comes over (which is WEEKLY), she will make comments about the house or our lifestyle. If she see chilled drinks (usually it's coke, sprite & green tea) she will say don't drink so much not good for health a lot of sugar, etc. But she never realize that every week she come n see the drinks, they are still the same as the ones she saw the previous week. LOL. Then she will say drink water better bla bla bla.

Then when she see my kitchen she will "advise" me to clean the gas stove often, keep the kitchen clean, regularly wipe the table top, etc. But it is not even dirty as I always clean up after I cook.

She is a clean freak so she will keep saying all these but my hubby just ignore her. & as her daughter-in-law I sometimes also feel pai seh if I ignore her, like very rude so I have to put up with it.

Anyway about her cleanliness. Last time whenever I go to my hubby's house (when dating time), the first thing I have to do is wipe my feet at the door and go to the kitchen to wash hands. Then she will ask me to change into a clean set of clothes (i just wear my hubby's) because she say i wear the clothes go out sit on things or lean against surfaces will have bacteria and dirt. So I come over must change clothes. I was like OMG.

She will also make comments about how I handle my baby, say I should do this and do that. Even though I have my own ideas. My girl is not trained to sleep by people rocking, carrying, or patting her. She has been trained to fall asleep on her own. Even if patting is needed during daytime naps I will pat to calm her down, and still let her doze off on her own. But my MIL like to carry her, rock and pat her. & the thing is my girl never even make noise! She just happily in her arms why u want to go and do extra things?! Then I cannot stand it I tell my hubby to tell her nicely. You know what she say? "You don't know anything la. I last time look after babies I know" I was like OMG we have our own preferences you should respect that.

That's why sometimes I don't like to go back for dinner because I don't want to see how she handle my baby. If i see already I will feel more annoyed.

Now living apart is like this. So can you imagine if she stay with us?!

 

[Ting]

Pink Diamonds, if she stay with u, i think u will go jump down n kill yourself. LOL!
if its me, i definately will run far far away!

 

[apollo]

dont't say stay together will have conflict, now we are living apart (they stay Yishun, we stay Tampines) I already bth my mother in law! She will come once a week to see her dear granddaughter (no objections as I get a few hours off to do my own things or nap), & we have to go over once a week to eat dinner. One thing is that we always go over and end up going home late (pass my girl's bedtime & she get cranky).

Whenever my mother in law comes over (which is WEEKLY), she will make comments about the house or our lifestyle. If she see chilled drinks (usually it's coke, sprite & green tea) she will say dont't drink so much not good for health a lot of sugar, etc. But she never realize that every week she come and see the drinks, they are still the same as the ones she saw the previous week. LOL. Then she will say drink water better bla bla bla.

Then when she see my kitchen she will "advise" me to clean the gas stove often, keep the kitchen clean, regularly wipe the table top, etc. But it is not even dirty as I always clean up after I cook.

She is a clean freak so she will keep saying all these but my hubby just ignore her. & as her daughter-in-law I sometimes also feel pai seh if I ignore her, like very rude so I have to put up with it.

Anyway about her cleanliness. Last time whenever I go to my hubby's house (when dating time), the first thing I have to do is wipe my feet at the door and go to the kitchen to wash hands. Then she will ask me to change into a clean set of clothes (i just wear my hubby's) because she say i wear the clothes go out sit on things or lean against surfaces will have bacteria and dirt. So I come over must change clothes. I was like OMG.

She will also make comments about how I handle my baby, say I should do this and do that. Even though I have my own ideas. My girl is not trained to sleep by people rocking, carrying, or patting her. She has been trained to fall asleep on her own. Even if patting is needed during daytime naps I will pat to calm her down, and still let her doze off on her own. But my mother in law like to carry her, rock and pat her. & the thing is my girl never even make noise! She just happily in her arms why you want to go and do extra things?! Then I cannot stand it I tell my hubby to tell her nicely. You know what she say? "You dont't know anything . I last time look after babies I know" I was like OMG we have our own preferences you should respect that.

That's why sometimes I dont't like to go back for dinner because I dont't want to see how she handle my baby. If i see already I will feel more annoyed.

Now living apart is like this. So can you imagine if she stay with us?!

ur mil very scary leh!!! need to be so clean mehh???

and i agree, if baby can slp on their own, dont rock them, they'll get used to it... aunties are all lik tt... they think they handle a few babies b4 then yaya papaya... but they often forget (or they dont even want to rmb) that it was 10000000000years ago since they handle their last baby!!!

 

[jal]

dont't say stay together will have conflict, now we are living apart (they stay Yishun, we stay Tampines) I already bth my mother in law! She will come once a week to see her dear granddaughter (no objections as I get a few hours off to do my own things or nap), & we have to go over once a week to eat dinner. One thing is that we always go over and end up going home late (pass my girl's bedtime & she get cranky).

Whenever my mother in law comes over (which is WEEKLY), she will make comments about the house or our lifestyle. If she see chilled drinks (usually it's coke, sprite & green tea) she will say dont't drink so much not good for health a lot of sugar, etc. But she never realize that every week she come and see the drinks, they are still the same as the ones she saw the previous week. LOL. Then she will say drink water better bla bla bla.

Then when she see my kitchen she will "advise" me to clean the gas stove often, keep the kitchen clean, regularly wipe the table top, etc. But it is not even dirty as I always clean up after I cook.

She is a clean freak so she will keep saying all these but my hubby just ignore her. & as her daughter-in-law I sometimes also feel pai seh if I ignore her, like very rude so I have to put up with it.

Anyway about her cleanliness. Last time whenever I go to my hubby's house (when dating time), the first thing I have to do is wipe my feet at the door and go to the kitchen to wash hands. Then she will ask me to change into a clean set of clothes (i just wear my hubby's) because she say i wear the clothes go out sit on things or lean against surfaces will have bacteria and dirt. So I come over must change clothes. I was like OMG.

She will also make comments about how I handle my baby, say I should do this and do that. Even though I have my own ideas. My girl is not trained to sleep by people rocking, carrying, or patting her. She has been trained to fall asleep on her own. Even if patting is needed during daytime naps I will pat to calm her down, and still let her doze off on her own. But my mother in law like to carry her, rock and pat her. & the thing is my girl never even make noise! She just happily in her arms why you want to go and do extra things?! Then I cannot stand it I tell my hubby to tell her nicely. You know what she say? "You dont't know anything . I last time look after babies I know" I was like OMG we have our own preferences you should respect that.

That's why sometimes I dont't like to go back for dinner because I dont't want to see how she handle my baby. If i see already I will feel more annoyed.

Now living apart is like this. So can you imagine if she stay with us?!

That's really extreme!!! Where did she learn all that freaky behaviour from???

 

[uddermummy]

pinkdiamond, eh, like that hor, your mil shouldn't try breathing in air without masks cos bacteria and dust and dirt are like everywhere lohhh....:err:

and must use the n95 masks hor, cos the normal type only traps saliva and moisture and not bacteria.

 

[PinkDiamonds]

Sometimes I really wonder which planet she's from. Hahaha...

One day I asked my husband, "Dear, how did you live with your mother for the past 30 years?"

And his reply was, "I didn't live through it, I slept through it."

Wahahahaa....

But I do believe there has been certain things that happened to her last time, that's why she has such a thinking. One which I don't think I can put up with. So I think it's better we live apart. Even though I can't stand her or what, I will still *try* to be polite to her. Though I will really hope she can respect our parenting beliefs and styles.

 

[apollo]

Sometimes I really wonder which planet she's from. Hahaha...

One day I asked my husband, "Dear, how did you live with your mother for the past 30 years?"

And his reply was, "I didn't live through it, I slept through it."

Wahahahaa....

But I do believe there has been certain things that happened to her last time, that's why she has such a thinking. One which I dont't think I can put up with. So I think it's better we live apart. Even though I can't stand her or what, I will still *try* to be polite to her. Though I will really hope she can respect our parenting beliefs and styles.

ur hubby v funny! but u're lucky that ur hubby didnt inherit his mum :tlaugh:

 

[babylemon]

I almost live with my MIL...cos she is living alone like v lonely... But after I said ok to hubby, she started saying that she will rent out her flat. Must hv min. $1.5K rental otherwise she wont rent. After I hear aldy, I immediately got turn off cos she sounded so money face.

Then I was worried tat e hse bills will start to increase with another person in e home. (her aircon is on 16 deg!) I also hate waking up early on sun to go for bfast (she cannot miss bfast) cos sun is my only rest day to sleep more...e more I think of it, e more scared I am. Thereafter I nvr brought tis topic up again n I think my MIL got e hint!

Of cos I know I also hv a prob with myself. But I cannot take it leh, dunno y, I get paranoid v easily n I think too much...

 

[Ting]

haha, im also a lazy bum.
i always like to slp til afternoon on weekends.

 

[jal]

I almost live with my mother in law...cos she is living alone like very lonely... But after I said ok to hubby, she started saying that she will rent out her flat. Must have min. $1.5K rental otherwise she wont rent. After I hear already, I immediately got turn off cos she sounded so money face.

Then I was worried that e house bills will start to increase with another person in e home. (her aircon is on 16 deg!) I also hate waking up early on sun to go for bfast (she cannot miss bfast) cos sun is my only rest day to sleep more...e more I think of it, e more scared I am. Thereafter I never brought tis topic up again and I think my mother in law got e hint!

Of cos I know I also have a prob with myself. But I cannot take it , dont know why, I get paranoid very easily and I think too much...

Dear Babylemon, you are a very courageous women. You are courageous enought to admit to yourself that you have paranoia, not only that, you are brave enough to do so on a public forum. Perhaps the next step forward is to STOP the negative thinking in its track? You could do so by thinking of more positive thoughts, step by step. It is a kind of social conditioning. Actually I am also quite like you & that's why I always try to STOP all these negative thoughts.

 

[Spiralng]

Dear Babylemon, you are a very courageous women. You are courageous enought to admit to yourself that you have paranoia, not only that, you are brave enough to do so on a public forum. Perhaps the next step forward is to STOP the negative thinking in its track? You could do so by thinking of more positive thoughts, step by step. It is a kind of social conditioning. Actually I am also quite like you & that's why I always try to STOP all these negative thoughts.

Jal babe...why u never say me brave lehhhh....i acutally STAYED wif my MIL and survived....ha ha ha......:tlaugh:

 

[babylemon]

I tried... one moment I am cool abt thgs..but e next moment I changed totally. I feel v unhappy most of time, mayb stress abt everythg in life. I hate tis feeling yet I cant help it. I always wanted to share my tots with hb on this matter but it's so senstive n e guys jus wldnt wan to hear anythg bad abt their mum. :embarrassed:

Dear Babylemon, you are a very courageous women. You are courageous enought to admit to yourself that you have paranoia, not only that, you are brave enough to do so on a public forum. Perhaps the next step forward is to STOP the negative thinking in its track? You could do so by thinking of more positive thoughts, step by step. It is a kind of social conditioning. Actually I am also quite like you & that's why I always try to STOP all these negative thoughts.

 

[jal]

I tried... one moment I am cool about thgs..but e next moment I changed totally. I feel very unhappy most of time, mayb stress about everythg in life. I hate tis feeling yet I cant help it. I always wanted to share my tots with husband on this matter but it's so senstive and e guys just wldnt want to hear anythg bad about their mum. :embarrassed:

Yeah, sometimes I have the same problem too... You know what I did? I sms the whole nonsense I wanted to blabber to my hubby, with no discount on any vulgarities, & saved it as a draft. It kind of acted as a pillow for me to vent my feelings. After that, I felt better. You can try typing it as a Word doc or write it out on a piece of paper & then crush it with all your might.

 

[jal]

Jal babe...why you never say me brave lehhhh....i acutally STAYED with my mother in law and survived....ha ha ha......:tlaugh:

Ok ok, ban fa yong gan zhi nu, di yi ming de jiang zhe shi... Miss Spiralng!!!(Announcing the winner of Miss Couragous... Miss Spiralng) :red:*Clap clap clap!!!*