I'm in deep S**T

[*cynn.89llaluby]

im not good in linking links...
try dis can
http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f48/mid-year-mummysg-gathering-24th-may-2009-sunday-2pm-5pm-14120/
if cannot , paiisei.
im not good in linking links...
also not good in embedding photos..
MID YEAR OUTING

DATE : 24 MAY 2009 SUNDAY

TIME : 2PM (ARRIVAL) TO 5PM (DEPARTURE)

VENUE : Fidgets at Turf City (#04-05) - MEET AT DOORSTEP

 

[*cynn.89llaluby]

bbp...

Bbp, am glad you made a decision after serious considerations. Hugs. It's not going to be easy dealing with the guilt, so please talk to someone whenever you need an listening ear. Take good care of yourself after the abortion also

.

super agree wid yellowpudding...
must read 183456743211224xtimes okii. remember must talk to someone whenever you need an listening ear....
euu stay north? hahahhaaaaaaa! if need a clown to chat / meet can find miie!!

 

[CanCanMum]

take care BbpHir3

*bear hugs*:001_302:

like all who have said, please talk to us if u need listening ear~~

 

[joeichen]

IMHO, it is always easier to talk from a 3rd person perspective ...
All of you have been pregnant for 9 whole months ... some even more than once ... & you are telling me for whatever good resons you may have, you think you are willing & you are able to give up your baby for adoption?

I dunno ... I'm just a papa ... never experienced my boys ever kicking me in my tummy ... but I know I can never separate (for good) from my boys, whether it's the day they were born or now or a much later stage in their childhood.

If there are any mummies here who can do that, please let me know ... I need to seriously change my mindset. THANKS.
:biggrin: :biggrin:


This is even more laughable ... by singularly making a decision to give your child away, you are not contradicting your pledge that the mother (alone) actually have no right to decide they live or die?
:bconfused: :bconfused:


I really dun think infertile couples make better parents ... on the contrary, I fear some can well be in it for the novelty of parenthood.

It's like pet-owners ... many appear committed when they buy their expensive pets, but we also know many also dispose of their pets when they found out that the ensuing commitment is really way above their original expectations. Worst still, they are pet-owners who do not dispose ... but end up keeping the pets under very compromised environments & conditions.
:beek: :beek:


What about the guilt that comes along with "selling" your baby? Personally, I think that guilt will be worst than the haunting that comes from having an abortion ... especially when you find out that your baby has ended up with a shitty life becoz of a change of mind & attitude in the adoptive parents.

Humans will be humans ... when money is involved, the more you pay, the higher your expectations. What if the child turn out to have a lack of academic aptitude ... or worst, turn out to have chronic illnesses? Do you think the adoptive parents would have a loving & caring disposition towards "this piece of goods they paid good money for"?
:brolleyes: :brolleyes:


How do you know this will be the case?

If given away to someone within your own extended family, you can at least be assured that you know the couple & their character ... but how are you gonna face meeting your own child every now & then, without having the rights to acknowledge that child as your own?

If given away to strangers, it is likely they wanna have nothing to do with you ever again ... just to protect their exclusivity to their latest acquired assets. More significantly, if they are strangers to begin with ... how many interviews do you think you'd need to determine whether they are indeed good people, on top of the fact that they are well-to-do people?
:wink: :wink:

I think most of us here r only giving a suggestion n comments fr our view.
This forum is for us to share our view.
If u dun agreed with any of us, pls keep tis to urself coz we dun need ur agreement anyway.
U r NOT a mother therefore u will NOT understand y a mum have to give the child away or even abortion.
For a mum to make these desicion is not ez (I mean mature mums) so keep ur "comments" to urself.
Tks

 

[joeichen]

sorry sorry sorry
i mean no harm
i must say millions of sorry for what im gonna post now..
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorriesssssssss

abortion only cost $480..
blk 821 tampines street 81... #01-216
telephone 67863188

hmmmmmm
3 of my gerrfrens went there.. no infection...safe...

Dear, thr is nothing to be sorry abt.
U r only providing a information which mayb helpful to her instead of harming her.

 

[joeichen]

talking bout giving up seats... I took a bus, carrying DD with one hand, the pram on the other... NO ONE GAVE UP THEIR SEATS.... WORSE OF ALL, NO ONE EVEN TRIED TO HELP!!! i was lyk wat the ****...While on the bus, i was thinkin, if i'm gonna haf another one at this moment, how'd i cope? will i be stucked at home with 2 screaming kids? N cant go out alone with them? And when we're suppose to fetch step-DD from her mum's place, how r we (16yo SIL and mi) suppose to eye on 3 kids?? will the family be able to take it anot? N if i'm gonna work/study after no.2, will i be able to concentrate? bearing in mind that my mind is always with Letitia even when I'm suppose to use it for the assignments tat the teacher gave..
When i was deciding to go back school, I got support n encouragement.. N now, I dun even noe hu can look after DD tml... God-bro juz recovered from fever.. dun wan DD to go over n catch any virus "accidentally"... both MIL n mum workin... SIL too young to look after DD for long hours.. DH, not sure.. he's the kind tat.. if DD cries n dun stop, he'll juz leave her on the bed to cry n continue with his game ...

with all this problem surfacing after we got DD, i'm very sure the family cant cope with a no. 2......

I noe i'll be hunt with the guilt of not keeping no. 2... but i really muz think for every1 (+ the one in me).. if i can gif a life to no. 2, but dun haf the ability to haf no. 2... y should i intro no. 2 to this hateful n disgusting world? no. 2 will end up suffering in this world, which he/she dun haf a need to......

thus, i've came to a conclusion to go on with the abortion this time..I'm not sure if there willl be a next time..'if this really gonna happen again, i'll go for a divorce.. i've told DH about it.. n if he respect mi n love mi as much as i love him, he should know tat tis d best for us, n tat tis abortion is a grave mistake tat i never want to go tru again..

Since u have made ur desicion, we can only wish u all the best n pls take care after tat, coz abortion is = to giving birth.

 

[happymummyo7]

I think most of us here r only giving a suggestion n comments fr our view.
This forum is for us to share our view.
If u dun agreed with any of us, pls keep tis to urself coz we dun need ur agreement anyway.
U r NOT a mother therefore u will NOT understand y a mum have to give the child away or even abortion.
For a mum to make these desicion is not ez (I mean mature mums) so keep ur "comments" to urself.
Tks

you so fierce........
lols. ive been through abortion myself. though only 14weeks but seeing the fetus. hmms. and i have 3 younger sisters given away years ago cause really unable to support. both me and younger bro still young. father dont know how to zi dong. in the end, mother suffer.. and now, im a mother to be myself. with my hyper active precious inside moving and kicking all the time. i know how it feels like to be a mummy. thats why, i really salute my mama now.
when my dad found out bout this pregnancy. he got hint me go abort. and i really did go to the clinic. was crying since morning till i reach the clinic. hear baby's heartbeat i gave up.. also got think of giving up for adoption. but really cant bear to. and i know i will regret. my situation not as bad as BbpHir3. i dont mind working hard, giving up 'freedom'. thats why i insist on keeping..
all i can say is, no mother wont want their own children. but some times, situation really dont allow...

 

[tommyBoi]

I think most of us here r only giving a suggestion n comments fr our view.
This forum is for us to share our view.
If u dun agreed with any of us, pls keep tis to urself coz we dun need ur agreement anyway.
U r NOT a mother therefore u will NOT understand y a mum have to give the child away or even abortion.
For a mum to make these desicion is not ez (I mean mature mums) so keep ur "comments" to urself.
Tks

Bro vroomvroomboys...
I quite agreed wif joeichen above comments.. thats y i rather keep quiet if i cant really give any gd advices to BbpHir3. Not an easy decision for her as we r nt women nor the one carrying the baby...

BbpHir3.. all the best to u, jia you!!

 

[CanCanMum]

? what is NOC outing? lols. chat with me you will qi si one.

?????????

~~why~~~leh~~~~??????:tlaugh:

 

[happymummyo7]

?????????

~~why~~~leh~~~~??????:tlaugh:

dont know. heh. cause im quite ti ki -metal teeth. will insist my own belief.
esp the smoking topic.. my collegues had a hard time trying to get me quit smoking. ahem..

 

[CanCanMum]

Bro vroomvroomboys...
I quite agreed wif joeichen above comments.. thats y i rather keep quiet if i cant really give any gd advices to BbpHir3. Not an easy decision for her as we r nt women nor the one carrying the baby...

BbpHir3.. all the best to u, jia you!!

lols

bu yong jin la, actually no one can tell BbpHir babe wad to do only she wil know her own decision best.....

since she made a firm decision juz wish her all the best and gib her mental support.:tlaugh:

All of us are quite good at these motherly things lols~~~

 

[autumn82]

lols

bu yong jin la, actually no one can tell BbpHir babe wad to do only she wil know her own decision best.....

since she made a firm decision juz wish her all the best and gib her mental support.:tlaugh:

All of us are quite good at these motherly things lols~~~

Serious? :tlaugh:

 

[CanCanMum]

Serious? :tlaugh:

:shyxxx::shyxxx::shyxxx:yeah..................

my arms are wide and open>>>>>>>>>>>>>

for bear hugs.....lols ..........:shyxxx::shyxxx:u got so many from me already u still dunno??????

Lai Lai BbpHir3 Babe, let Aunty CanCan hug u~~~

 

[happymummyo7]

:shyxxx::shyxxx::shyxxx:yeah..................

my arms are wide and open>>>>>>>>>>>>>

for bear hugs.....lols ..........:shyxxx::shyxxx:u got so many from me already u still dunno??????

Lai Lai BbpHir3 Babe, let Aunty CanCan hug u~~~

LOLS....................

 

[joeichen]

you so fierce........
lols. ive been through abortion myself. though only 14weeks but seeing the fetus. hmms. and i have 3 younger sisters given away years ago cause really unable to support. both me and younger bro still young. father dont know how to zi dong. in the end, mother suffer.. and now, im a mother to be myself. with my hyper active precious inside moving and kicking all the time. i know how it feels like to be a mummy. thats why, i really salute my mama now.
when my dad found out bout this pregnancy. he got hint me go abort. and i really did go to the clinic. was crying since morning till i reach the clinic. hear baby's heartbeat i gave up.. also got think of giving up for adoption. but really cant bear to. and i know i will regret. my situation not as bad as BbpHir3. i dont mind working hard, giving up 'freedom'. thats why i insist on keeping..
all i can say is, no mother wont want their own children. but some times, situation really dont allow...

Actually not tat I'm fierce, mayb sound abit too "over-react" but like wat u say.
Ur mum have no choice but to give the child away, but have we ever wonder hw it feel for a mum to give her own child away after 9mths inside her?
Or like BbpHir3 who is a mum but left with no choice but to abort her child?

 

[Queenbabe]

Dear Mummies n Daddies ,

I think we should stop discussing about this anymore since our bbp dearie have make up her mind for doing what she wanted to do .

Thanks

 

[VroomVroomBoys]

I think most of us here r only giving a suggestion n comments fr our view.
This forum is for us to share our view.

Nobody is stopping you or anybody else from voicing out your comments or suggestions ... but do put some thorough thought into the whole perspective before making talk for the sake of making talk.

When some of you suggested giving way for adoption is better than abortion ... the premise is no life is lost, so it is obviously a win-win situation.
I was just highlighting 2 issues which probably did not arise from your 3rd person perspective:

1) to abort or not, the decision has to be make now ... to give away for adoption or not, you have 9 months & beyond to decide ... even when you change your mind by then, nobody can go against your wishes ... so how many mummies here, who have experienced the 9-month connection with your foetus, will still bear to give away their baby for adoption?

2) even if you bite your lips real hard & give away the baby, how sure are you that the next 20 years of your baby's life is gonna be better than what you could have given? How many of you ever had a guy impressed you for months, such that you become an item ... but eventually still broke up when he revealed his true colours down the years? So, what odds that adoptive parents are not the same?

If u dun agreed with any of us, pls keep tis to urself coz we dun need ur agreement anyway.

Who's WE? You & the gang of VVB trashers?
Then, I dun really give a damn ...

For a fact, it is only Bbphir3 (this young girl who has way too much on her shouders & was contemplating suicide somwhere along this thread) that I even bother to spend time on this particular thread ... not becoz of you.
:laugh: :laugh:

U r NOT a mother therefore u will NOT understand WHY a mum have to give the child away or even abortion.

Pray tell how many gynaes are the male species? Has any of them ever carried a foetus for 9 weeks ... let alone 9 months? So, who does so many women still rely on what decision these gynaes make for them?

It is a privilege you have experiencing the nauseous discomfort throughout your pregnancy ... it is also a privilege you have experiencing the excruciating pain during the delivery ... all in all, it is a privilege to be a mother ... it's just something we guys can never simulate, no doubt about that.

However, thinking aloud what it's like to go through abortion, especially in a country where policies are supposed to be pro-family ... as well as thinking aloud what it's like to give away you own child for adoption, including the anxiety & the guilt ... you just need a little grey matter upstairs.

As you've suggested, if it's about the WHY you need to abort or give away for adoption ... then, it's got even lesser to do with "you have to be a mother before you can know".
:beek: :beek:

For a mum to make these desicion is not ez (I mean mature mums) so keep ur "comments" to urself.
Tks

So, who are the mature mums here ... & who are the immature mums?
You mean to suggest those who think like you are the mature ones?
Now, that's perhaps more condescending that me, the mere loud mouth ... dun you agree?
:rofl: :rofl:

 

[VroomVroomBoys]

Bro vroomvroomboys...
I quite agreed wif joeichen above comments... thats y i rather keep quiet if i cant really give any gd advices to BbpHir3. Not an easy decision for her as we r nt women nor the one carrying the baby...

BbpHir3.. all the best to u, jia you!!

Nope, it's not an easy decision for Bbphir3 ... simply becoz there are consequences no matter which way she decides.

That's why I said my piece & left it at that ... reiterating that she has to come to the decision by herself.
Reason is simple ... even if this forum is still around in the years to come, I'm sure some (if not most of us) would move on with life elsewhere ... in other words, whatever suggestion she listens to, it doesn't come with any warranty card.

It is for this reason that I chose to exercise my freedom of speech ... to highlight deficiencies or flaws that exist in some of the suggestions thrown to Bbphir3 - my stand is simple: anybody can suggest whatever they want, but dun suggest solutions which they wouldn't follow through themselves.

Anyways, I think I was the first one in this forum who knew of Bbphir3's decision ... becoz we chatted via sms over the weekend. So, you see, whether it is good or trusted advice ... Bbphir3 will decide & only that matters to me.
:biggrin: :biggrin:


PS: Before I get trashed for no good reasons again, let it be put on the record that I did not influence Bbphir3 into her decision to abort ... whatever I said to her was merely this: http://www.mummysg.com/forums/f13/im-deep-s-t-14135/#post132998
After that, the only contact I had with her was via sms where she merely told me of her decision.

 

[Ottermum]

Hey everyone cool it cool it...

Everyone here's just trying to help/advise...or at least provide an listening ear...

think the last thing Bbp wants is our members being displeased with one another over her matter...isn't it?? :win::win::win:

since she's already decided what to do...guess we just gotta wish her the very best...

Bbp pls take care ok...heard after abortion you still gotta do at least 2 weeks confinement...

 

[mich_liu82]

Urm Guys & Gals...

Chill alright? Doesn't matter what happens bcoz ultimately choice is being made by oneself. We only here to share comments or views.

Each individual sensitivity is different. Dun take things to heart ya? Last time when I was in Yahoo Forum I quarrel with ppl until meet up, that one damn serious bcoz that fella insulted me way too much... Until bring parents out and all...

So lets just put dis aside... After all, we are all here to help one another, this is a virtual world too. Who knows we might really need each other help one day?

If sometimes we are really not happy or what, I guess Ignorance Is Bliss...

Though I know sometimes some ppl are just out to make trouble or be a KPO, but again think bout it, they are not in our life, so dun get affected by it though I know some how or rather it will lah but jus whine a little bit den let go liao...

I am in the retail industry so thats why I talk like this. Bcoz sometimes I get custs who are really "GOD DAMN IRRITATING" and sometimes jus feel like asking them if they need me to send them home to bring their BRAINS out or not, hehe...

My 2 cents worth... Chill ok?